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[HUMOR] You could have heard a pin drop When in England , at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of 'empire building' by George Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its…

After John Hinckly, Jr. shot President Reagan, Reagan woke up in the hospital recovery room with his wife Nancy at his side looking down at him and extremely upset. Reagan always joked with Nancy when she was upset, so he said, “Honey, I forgot to duck.” That’s what the great fighter Jack Dempsey said…

Published September 19, 2013 FoxNews.com Someone just paid David Rees, of Beacon, N.Y., $35 to sharpen a pencil. "I think people think: 'Wow, I can't believe he actually did it,'" Rees said. "I wasn't sure what would happen when I sent this guy my money." Now before you write him off as some con-artist…

- Everglades National Park: Are the alligators real? Are the baby alligators for sale? Where are all the rides? What time does the two o'clock bus leave? - Mesa Verde National Park: Did people build this, or did Indians? Why did they build the ruins so close to the road? Do you know of any undiscovered…

After riding his electric bicycle to an appointment, Ben Jaconelli returned twenty minutes later and discovered it had been stolen. He feared he would never see the pricey bicycle again, but the thief unknowingly helped Jaconelli recover it. Shortly after filing a police report, Jaconelli received a…

Published January 26, 2013 Associated Press YORK, Pa. – Mourners at a Pennsylvania fast-food fan's funeral wanted him to have it his way, so they arranged for his hearse -- and the rest of the procession -- to make one last drive-thru visit before reaching the cemetery. David Kime Jr. "lived by his own…

An online poll taken by a social networking and dating website recently asked 30,000 people from 15 different countries to rank the “funniest” and least funny nationalities. The global poll found Germans to be the least funny nationality while Americans and the Spanish were the funniest or best at making…

These are the top ten ways to tell if you’re having a bad day. Number 10 - Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels Number 9 - You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold. Number 8 - Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. Number 7 - Your 4-year-old tells…

Published September 08, 2011 | Associated Press Dutch prosecutors are charging a 42-year-old woman with stalking after she allegedly called her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times in the past year. The 62-year-old victim from The Hague filed a police complaint in August due to the persistent phone calls. Police…

I’D RATHER DIE WHILE I’M LIVING THAN LIVE WHILE I’M DEAD I WANT TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER EVERY NOW AND THEN.. THE WEATHER IS HERE, WISH YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL. All of these truisms were the creation of that “dock-of-the-bay” philosopher, Jimmy Buffet. While I surely there are better sources of truth, I…

Published July 05, 2011 | Popular Science Call it a twist on the study of gut bacteria. Scientists sampling DNA strains from the navels of volunteer donors have found 662 microbes that are apparently new to science, showing that the human navel is apparently a ripe environment for bacteria. The Belly…

Folks, I have to tell you that you should feel sorry for my wife. I know, I know, you’re saying, “Huh! Not telling us anything we didn’t already know. We do feel sorry for her!” Well, I’d just say, That’s good because she married an introvert. She didn’t really know what she was getting into when she…

Well, there you have it: Ask anyone if they love Christmas, and they’ll probably say yes. I googled something like “The top ten reasons I love Christmas” and these were some typical responses. One person gave 8 reasons they liked it. Number 8 was because “things smell so good. Christmas trees, cinnamon…

"Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher says. Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you." Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing." The preacher puts one finger…

I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes." Mikey's Funnies, Monday, March 8, 2010

Moments after passing his driving test, a Pennsylvania man mistakenly crashed his car into a department of motor vehicles building, smashing through a window and plowing into a waiting room. Four people were injured, none seriously. The man’s license ended up being revoked before he even got it. Robert…

A man thinks his wife is losing her hearing. A doctor suggests that he try a simple at-home test: Stand behind her, ask her a question from different distances, and see when she can hear it. The man goes home, sees his wife in the kitchen facing the stove, and asks from the door, “What’s for dinner tonight?”…

Unknown Author A certain German nobleman provided his son with a tutor whose duty it was to cultivate the mind and morals of the youth. One day as the tutor and his pupil were taking a walk in the country, they came to the edge of a wood, where they observed a half-felled tree, and saw lying by it a…

Garfield Heights Police Department Ohio police found their jobs made a little bit easier Monday after a chase ended with a suspect unwittingly fleeing straight into a prison. Ricky Flowers, 20, was stopped by police while driving with a suspended license, but fled the scene and led officers on a high-speed…

DVD - how to fit in in worship

Ok, I know that picture may give you the “willies.” It sure does give them to me! This is an Anaconda and, according to National Geographic, these snakes can grow to a weight of 550 pounds! Wow! Now you know why I’m not ready to go on the mission trip down the Amazon! Someone in the Peace Corps once…

I read a story about Big Ed. Big Ed went a revival and listened to the preacher. After a while the preacher asked anyone with needs to come forward to be prayed over and healed, so Big Ed gets in line. When it's his turn, the preacher said, "Big Ed, what do you want me to pray about?" Big Ed says, "Preacher,…

DON’T YOU LOVE TO READ BUMPER STICKERS? SOMETIMES I JUST CAN’T RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO TAILGATE SOMEONE JUST TO SEE WHAT’S WRITTEN ON THAT PLASTIC COATED PAPER STRIP GLUED ON THE BACK OF THEIR CARS. I LIKE TO READ THEM BECAUSE OFTEN THEY ARE HILARIOUSLY FUNNY. I THINK THEY ARE SO FUNNY, THOUGH BECAUSE…

Communication is hard! Dan Quayle found that out when destiny vaulted him from his rather obscure senate seat in Indiana to becoming the vice president of the United States. Under the glare of the media’s scrutiny, he made some very “memorable” statements. Take a little walk down memory lane with me.…

The same old guy gets pulled over for DUI. When he gets to court the arresting officer testifies that the defendant, when asked to produce his car registration, had fumbled around endlessly in the glove compartment. Well, he’d hired a good lawyer, and the lawyer, wanting to earn his money (go figure)…