Results

On the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln’s famous Gettysburg Address, the editorial board of Pennsylvania newspaper retracted its predecessor’s famous panning of the speech calling to the address as “silly remarks.” In 1863, the Patriot and Union newspaper, the predecessor of today’s Harrisburg paper…

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. 'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made…

Headlines - 'Thieves Steal Burglar Alarm' - 'Post Office Paychecks Get Lost in Mail' - 'Blind Cabby Forced to Abandon Driving' - 'Several Items Reported Stolen from Empty Store' - 'Don't be Fooled--Accept Only Limitations' - 'Eight Bagels for $1.49--Limit 3.' - 'White Flower 2 Day Sale--Friday Only'…

How To Get Real Action HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi , was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to…

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, and one of the applicants - who was not known to be the brightest academically, was called in for an interview. "Okay," began the sheriff, "What is 1 and 1?" "Eleven," came the reply. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."…

Friday, December 01, 2006 Supreme Court takes 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' free speech case WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A high school student's controversial banner with the words "Bong Hits 4 Jesus," which led to his suspension, will be argued before the Supreme Court, in an unusual free speech dispute. The justices…