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~~~ Here's to Mom! ~~~ My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about." My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE WHAT I HAVE - "It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick." My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other…

CHURCH HUMOR Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked. ***** An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions…

> Why We Love Kids > >> > >>I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening > >>when a > >>woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was > >>stark > >>naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old > >>shout from > >>the back seat, "Mom! That lady…

Hell or Parental Responsibility What does God say to a little fellow growing up in a home? He says, “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord” ( Col. 3:20 ). But wait a minute—what if his parents don’t tell him to do the right things and don’t bring him up the…

God's missing and they think we did it!

What Exactly Is Marriage? "Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents" -Eric, six years old "When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get…

5/2/2004 A 70-year-old grandfather was asked by his young grandson how things have changed since he was a kid. His reply is worth reading. "Well, let me think a minute. I was born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill. There weren't things…

KIDS IN CHURCH 3-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~…

God recently allowed me to see Jesus through the eyes of someone seeing Him for the first time. Having the advantage of knowing how the story ends, we can easily forget the cost of our redemption and the love of our Savior.

CHILDREN: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. Children seldom misquote you. In fact,…

This poem was given to me, quoted to me actually while serving an interim at the Pritchard Memorial Baptist Church in Charlotte, NC. This dear elderly lady was a resident of a local nursing home during that time (c. 1978-1979). The pastor of the church and I visited with her and when she learned that I was preparing for a career in ministry, but attended a Methodist College (Wofford, Spartanburg, SC) she was greatly concerned that I do not leave the Baptist denomination to become a Methodist

THE STORY I was born in 1725, and I died 1807. The only godly influence in my life, as far back as I can remember, was my mother, whom I had for only seven years. When she left my life through death, I was virtually an orphan. My father remarried, sent me to a strict military school, where the severity…

Leave Judging to the Judge Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. 1 Corinthians 4:5a Recommended Reading Matthew 7:1-6 In a 1993 Christianity Today article (April 5, p. 17), Stephen…

> Children of God > > A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. > > The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. > > The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. > > Irritated,…

This is a statement that was read over the PA system at the football game at Roane County High School, Kingston , Tennessee , by school Principal, Jody McLeod. "It has always been the custom at Roane County High School football games, to say a prayer and play the National Anthem, to honor God and Country."…

EXPLANATION OF GOD: (Written by an 8-year-old in California)

I might illustrate the willfulness of many a supplication by that of a little boy who was very diligent in saying his prayers, but was at the same time disobedient, ill-tempered, and the pest of the house. His mother told him that she thought it was mere hypocrisy for him to pretend to pray. He replied,…

If you had a very favorite knife, which you prized much, but someone took it and with it murdered your mother, you would loathe the instrument with which so foul a deed was done. And sin, which you prized and played with, has the blood of Christ on it. It cut Him to the very soul. So now you hate it.…

Nobody, I suppose, teaches the young mother how to manage her first child, and yet somehow or other it is done, because she loves it. It is wonderful to me how a widow with quite a swarm of children somehow provides for them. I cannot tell how, but the love she bears them leads her to make exertions…

How happy are we to find rest in a person! This is warm and substantial comfort. You cannot rest in the words of a doctrine as you can in the bosom of a person. Take a poor child that is lost in the street. Talk to it upon cheering themes. These ought to comfort it; but the little one goes on crying.…

Children are very apt to get into the mire. Most mothers will tell you, I think, that if there is a pool of mud anywhere within a mile, her firstborn joy and comfort will find it and get into it if he possibly can. No matter how often a child is washed he seems always to need washing again: if there…

I have known a man begin to build his house, and he has spent a great deal of money upon it. At length, he has thought, “I do not quite like the situation. Shall I finish the building?” One strong argument for going on has been this: “I have spent so much money on it; I must go through with it.” Now,…

The law ceases its office as pedagogue when it comes to be written on our hearts. Boys have their lessons on slates, but men have their laws in their minds. We trust a man where we would carefully watch a boy. When the child becomes a man, his father and mother do not write down little rules for him,…

You who are parents know that you do not make your children offenders for a word. When they first learn to talk to you, they pronounce their words very imperfectly, and make many blunders. They break all the rules of grammar, and their prattle is often so indistinct that strangers who come to your house…

A person talks to me about a certain medicine, how it is compounded, what it looks like, how many drops must be taken at a dose, and so on. Well, I do not care to hear all that, and I soon forget it. But he tells me that for many months he was bedridden, he was in sore distress and in great pain, and…