He Has Borne Our Griefs and Carried Our Sorrows 6-26-05
He Has Borne Our Griefs and
Carried Our Sorrows
Is 53:4 “Surely HE has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows ...”
Pain happens in life – now a part of the human experience
Opening . . . .
Loss/death/pain was not intended to be a part of human experience
· In the Before time
· IN the Garden
But when death/sin came in
· God IMMEDIATELY begin to create a way
· For MAN to be restored
· AND for Healing/comfort to come into place of loss
Death never meant to be a part of human equation
· Pain/loss same thing
· But when it came – God created GRIEF to be the doorway to freedom
Want to take some time today as we prepare to go the Lord’s table – and talk about How God’s design is to comfort/restore and HEAL us in places of grief/sorrow.
Is 53:4 “Surely HE has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows ...”
You can grieve LOTS of things:
· Obviously if someone close to you dies
· But you can grieve ANY loss in your life
o Maybe it’s a disappointment at your job
o Maybe it’s in a relationship with someone else
o Maybe you failed/disappointed yourself – and you GRIEVE the mistake you made
Someone finding out they have a disease/sickness begins a period of grief
· Coming THROUGH the pain of what you’re facing – working through the issues they’ve brought on your life.
I’ve had RELATIONSHIPS I’ve grieved
· Worked CLOSELY with an awesome couple for a number of years
· Flew around the country – the world with them.
· Consulted/counseled/walked with them in an international ministry.
· We had a BLAST together.
· But the day came when God led them on into something new – and moved ME ON into something new.
· And I grieved that loss.
Divorces, people moving away
· Breaking up with your girlfriend/boyfriend
· Changing schools
· Moving to a new area
· ALL sorts of things can bring grief/loss in your life.
Some losses in our lives we grieve QUICK
· Some take more time
· And some we can carry a part of with us for our whole lives.
(Now WHY am I taking time to talk about How to come through to HEALING when you’ve had a place of loss or pain?
· Because most human beings – especially Christians – don’t always understand that there’s a PROCESS through the pain
· And at the OTHER SIDE of the process – is HOPE – and HEALING
· And WITHIN the process – God desires to pour IN His comfort – grace – hope.
· MANY TIMES – regularly as I counsel – this issue comes up – almost CONSTANTLY
· Where we’re walking through one of these things
· And I feel like it’s such a PRACTICAL – LIFE-Giving thing to Understand GOD’S hand on us
· HIS desire to meet us on the journey
· That I’ve wanted to share on this for some time
· And today’s the day!)
Some losses in our life aren’t quick at all
· In fact, some – we can carry with us for our whole life
· He has borne our GRIEFS and carried our SORROWS
Sorrows – suffering – they ARE a part of life
· Fallen world
· But JESUS desires to meet us there.
Nancy and me
· Chase – autism
· Wish we could ‘get over’ the place of loss
· We face different pieces of the grief along the journey
· Sometimes the grief can be like walking on broken glass – can’t get away from it
· And the journey of grief – sorrow – suffering – if we didn’t have Jesus
· If we didn’t understand HIS ways to meet us
· And how to ACCESS the grace – I don’t think we could do it on our own.
And so as I share with you today about the journey of walking through grief/pain – even suffering
· I’m not sharing it with a bumper sticker faith
· Like I’ve solved it – and I wish you’d catch up
· But really – as I’ve been walking through places of loss – grief and healing
· I feel like there are some POWERFUL things that EVERYONE of us needs to grab a hold of.
Things that can help us WALK FREE in these areas
Microwave society doesn’t want to talk about the journey
· Christians can even avoid it
· God not afraid of what we face on the journey
· He isn’t caught off guard
· HE is compassionate and want
So what’s the journey of Grief when I face loss/pain in my life?
How do I get THROUGH it so that I’m HEALED on the other side – and not STUCK in a place of PAIN
· You know THAT is an issue that many face
· Start walking THROUGH the stages of grief
· Not knowing what’s happening
· And get STUCK there
· Jesus has something MUCH better for us
So let’s talk about how grief/loss works
Stages of Grief
· People who’ve studied how grief works in our lives will tell you there are about FIVE different stages of grief that we go through.
· I believe GOD is the one that invented what these things are – and I believe HE intended them to be a pathway to healing.
· Five Stages:
Explain basic definitions
· Will happen in various order (example)
· Some times we will ‘trigger back’ to a place where hurt/loss happens because it ‘echoes the pain’ of our loss. (Example)
Don’t you think JESUS understands these stages?
· HE invented them
· In fact HE wants to walk with us
· He has BORNE our griefs/carried our sorrows
Let’s look at each stage
· Talk about how Jesus wants to meet us there
· And discover how we walk into healing
“Path of the just as a shining light that shines more and more until that perfect day”
· That’s the part where the loss doesn’t feel real
· And we’re numb to the pain
· Tourniquet approach
· If I don’t feel it – it isn’t there
· Car Accident – great care in opening up the channels again
· Place of loss
· Disappointment make a vow/decision
· “I won’t hope again”
· “I’ll quit trying”
Counseled a woman: Husband was emotionally abusive
· Over years came to place where she ‘deadened the emotions’
· THAT was her answer to pain – deaden it
· How many know – that strategy can have some bad consequences
· But GOD was so good to her
· Began to heal her – restore her
· TAKES TIME
· But NOW: walking freedom – renewed joy
Interesting stage of grief/loss
· One that most Christians aren’t quite sure HOW we’re suppose to handle
· After all – we’re Christians – how are we suppose to handle feelings of anger?
· Isn’t that non-Christian?
Bible COMMANDS us to be angry!
· ‘BE Angry’
· How many obeyed that one?
· ‘Be angry and SIN NOT’
Anger is a part of the human experience
· IN fact, the bible tells us that GOD gets angry
· JESUS showed anger
· But He didn’t sin
How does anger manifest in grief/loss?
· Some times it comes out in UNEXPECTED places
· Friend – lost brother
· No anger at God – but in traffic/work/etc.
· People who get stuck in the ANGER place of grief
· Can’t forgive
· Can’t move on
· HOLD ON to the pain
· Bitterness takes root
· Like a cancer – eats away at you
· Destroys your joy.
How does GOD want us to Respond?
· Pour out your HEART to Him – GOD is a refuge for us
· David poured out his PAIN to God in scripture
· You can SEE the anger he was feeling towards his enemies
· He asked God tough questions: ‘Where are you?’
· JESUS on the cross, “Why have you forsaken me?’
· And sin not
· Don’t let it take ROOT in you
· Testimony: recently went through a relationship challenge
· Feeling angry/hurt
· EMOTIONS: wanted to LEAD my response
· I ‘felt’ – this is a dangerous place what I’m feeling
· I cried out to GOD – Lord – protect me
· I don’t want to destroy a relationship that I love because of the anger I feel inside
· Come and help me – heal me
· And He did it!
· Stage of grief where we ‘relive the experience’ and play the ‘if only I had – if only THEY had’ games in our heads
· Sister’s death
o If only we had left later
o If only we hadn’t driven THAT road
NORMAL part of grief
· We need to PROCESS those things outloud
· ‘Bare one another’s burdens’
· When something hard has happened to you – it’s HELPFUL to find a brother or sister in the Lord and ‘Pour it out’ – PROCESS it.
· Story: baby going Crazy at restaurant
· Bottle – rock – too cold – too hot – fever – etc.
· Got home – changed diaper – diaper pin scratching the leg of the baby – NO WONDER!
MANY times with grief
· We don’t quite know WHAT is wrong
· We just know something IS wrong
· And we’re not always sure HOW to process it
· All stages of grief important to pour out with one another
Stuck place in Bartering
· This is a tough kind of message to share for me
· Because still in healing process
· What can imbalance of bartering produce?
o Can OVERCOMPENSATE in the rest of your life
o You will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to protect yourself from facing that loss again.
· After sister’s death
· Siblings left
· QUIET around the house
· Would look at the pictures
· Loved being with sibs – but they weren’t there
· Other two sisters got in a fight
· More loss/loneliness
· Came to a point where I would do ANYTHING to keep/create the family peace
· So we could be together again
· EVEN if it meant being unhealthy
· ‘Captain Safety’
· Where did that come from?
· Intensely important to remember this family day – or that one
· Where did that come from?
· Bartering gone a wry
Ever know people who can’t settle down – have to always be in panic – trying to make sure everything is ‘right’
· ‘Driven’ – not at peace?
· Some times that can be bartering imbalance.
· Cast all your CARES on Him – for HE cares for you
· Come to me all You who labor and are heavy laden
· YOU can’t do it for yourself
· He has borne grief – carried sorrows
· But you need to SURRENDER it to HIM.
Need to have OTHERS pray for you
· I’m carrying this thing alone
· I want to walk in health . . .
In place of loss we feel the pain
· That’s part of the grief
· Normal – healthy
· In instant society don’t know how to always make place for healing.
· Part of healing is feeling the loss
· Compassionate heart of the Lord
· HE understands the pain – the loss.
· Mourn with those who mourn
· Walk with One another
· Bear each others burdens
· Part of the walking through process
Stuck place in Sadness
· Being STUCK in sadness/depression
· There is a TIME to feel the pain
· But you need to BRING pain to cross
· Let it Go
Ever know the person who could ‘never get past’
· HELD ON to the place of grief
· There’s a reason we bury dead bodies – they smell
· And when there’s a disappointment in our lives – we need to take those things and SURRENDER them to the Lord at the cross
Does NOT mean we will not have any sad times
· We won’t relive some of the stages of grief.
· But when things get IMBALANCED
· It can become unhealthy and hurt us.
· Another layer with grieving/healing my sister
· Door opened – could see a whole CHAING of events
· Felt an intense SADNESS over what had happened
· Kneeling by bed
· In some ways – I felt a closeness with my sister who died a decade before
· That was a PRECIOUS thing – you can almost feel like you ‘forget’ – and a lot of the pain of my life was making sense.
· But Holy Spirit spoke to me in the middle of this thing – can’t quite explain it – but felt like God was challenging me to lay it down at the cross.
· That I could pick it up – coddle it
· Make an idol out of it.
· OR I could bring the pain to Him
· This is where it gets strange: didn’t want to – felt closeness.
· But I chose to – as I did – POWERFUL healing came through me life.
· I wasn’t the same.
Pour out heart to HIM God is a refuge.
As you come through the other side of grief – there is an acceptance
· DOESN’T mean that it was ‘okay’
· Does mean that you can move forward
· Still will feel sadness
· And at different times in life – you may need to work through ANOTHER LAYER of grief.
· That really isn’t that unusual.
But on the other side of the grief – if you take your grief to JESUS and let him BEAR your grief and carry your sorrows – it RELEASES the resurrection power of Christ to work in your life.
It will change you.
Side note: some of us have places of grief – doesn’t ‘tie up in a neat package’
· We face different layers/places
· Suffering – something we don’t hear many sermons on – but something that the bible promises we will have.
· WHY we go through this – fallen world – don’t have all the answers this side of heaven.
· But there is a hope of glory.
We who walk in those places of daily suffering
· GOD wants to meet us in the different places of our grief.
· Those layers come through at different places
· BUT HE will meet us at EACH PLACE if we let Him.
· Rubber stamp/candy-coated answers – aren’t what will make us there.
· HE wants to carry us through – there IS a resurrection on the other side of this.
And the key of it all is to come to the cross
· Let HIM bear Your weakness/need/pain