Relating, Caring, and Providing

Healthy relationships within the church are vital to its health. When relationships become damaged, it hinders the work, so we must do all that we can to maintain proper relationships with one another. As we have well established, the church at Ephesus, where Timothy was sent by the Apostle Paul to minister, was a bit of a mess.

Some of the Elders (Pastors) had shipwrecked their faith by giving into and spreading heresy that was contrary to the Gospel. (1 Timothy 1:3-4, 19-20, 4:1-7)

Along with that, some women in the church were trying to subvert the God given church order and take upon themselves power that God did not give to them. (1 Timothy 2:8-15)

The church had become weak and misshapen becuase those who were supposed to lead were doing a poor job which caused the church to lose its center and focus. The Gospel, which is supposed to be the main thing, had become marginalized, while secondary and tertiary things (like caring for widows, etc.) became the main thing instead.

Timothy’s calling then was to set the church at Ephesus on the right track. To put things back in their proper order. But, he was young compared to the other Elders in Ephesus, they viewed him as a bit of an inexperienced lightweight. Because of this, Timothy needed to lead with wisdom beyond his years and to exercise proper authority according to his role. (This is what chapter 4 was all about.)

Now, here in chapter five, Paul’s instruction to Timothy and by extension the church, turns to how he should relate to the people he was leading while he was having to say some difficult things for correction and the handling of the delicate issue of the proper care of widows.

The way in which Timothy “Related to his flock properly, cared for those who were widowed, and provided a place for them to serve was vitally important and is the subject matter we will observe together this morning.

1.) Relating to each other. (v.1-2)

A.) Treat older men like fathers.

When you are a young leader, it is easy to be intimidated by older men. After all, if they are believers, they possess more wisdom and life experience than you do.

As such, they should be given respect and honor and treated in a fatherly way. They shouldn't be tossed to the side to make way for younger counterparts. No, they should be treated with the dignity their age deserves.

However, just because they are older and more experienced, this doesn't mean they are always right either. Often, older men have difficulty with a younger leader solely becuase of his age and nothing else.

It is possible for an older man to be opinionated and set in their ways. Because of this they can become close minded to new ideas and methods. When this happens, things like grumbling, complaining, criticism, opposition and division can take place.

This seems to be some of the issue in Ephesus that Timothy was facing and needed to correct.

Remember, Timothy seems to have been very timid. “Timid Timothy” likely was unsure in how to confront these older men he was pastoring in order to offer correction.

I can picture Timothy rehearsing, just how he would articulate what needed to be said.

Going over line by line in his head and then, with all of his adrenaline pumping muster up all the courage he could and approach his older brother in Christ and just unleash on him with all of the fury of an Old Testament prophet.

Leaving the impression that he neither respected the man’s age or even really cared for him personally.

Paul’s instruction to Timothy is not to “rebuke” (Greek word to strike, to give blows or beat) but to “exhort” (Greek word means to ask for earnestly, to plead, appeal to or request.)

Application: The instruction here is if an older man in the church needs to be corrected by younger leadership, he is to be approached with the deference given to a father. To be appealed to and pleaded with just as we would our own Father with humility and trepidation. Having a tone of affection and respect.

Leviticus 19:32 NKJV

32 ‘You shall rise before the gray headed and honor the presence of an old man, and fear your God: I am the Lord.

B.) Treat younger men like brothers.

The admonition here to Timothy is that he is to treat younger men, those his age or younger as if they are his equals and bring them alongside in the decisions and ministry of the church.

This means then that the older men are not to treat them with an heir of superiority, but to view them with a brotherly affection, respect and care.

Younger men need to be taught, guided, and sometimes corrected and you can’t do that when you constantly treat them with contempt and disgust.

There is to be a brotherly affection and care, exhortation instead of rebuke.

Application: This is one of the greatest challenges in life to cross over generational lines and relate to those who are younger or older than you. Yet, it is a command for how we are to behave in the church.

C.) Treat older women as mothers.

Think for a minute what a godly mother contributes to a home: Love, warmth, tenderness, care, energy, affection, compassions, nourishment, concern, patience, kindness, guidance and direction, understanding, teaching, etc.

Now you can see all that the older women can contribute to a church.

Their contribution to the lives and fellowship of a church body is immeasurable.

R.C. Lucas was the unmarried (now retired) pastor of St. Helen’s Church Bishopgate Church in London, England. In his lectures on 1 Timothy he recounts how the older women in his congregation were an encouragement to him as a young pastor and said this:

“the life of a single pastor would be bleak without them.”

Paul seems to have understood and experienced this in his ministry as well.

Romans 16:13 (ESV)

13 Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord; also his mother, who has been a mother to me as well.

Application:The older women in the church are to be loved and protected and their softness, tenderness, guidance, understanding, instruction and energy are to be sought out and valued by the church.

If a rebuke is necessary, it is to be done as if it is a loving son speaking to his mother.

D.) Treat younger women as sisters with all purity.

It can be very easy for pastoral warmth to be misinterpreted and exploited. Timothy as pastor was to be careful to treat women in the same propriety and protectiveness that he would give his own sister.

One author puts it this way:

“My wife and I raised two girls and two boys, and believe me, our grade-school boys were not into kissing their sisters! But at the same time, they would have died to protect them.

R. Kent Hughes and Bryan Chapell, 1 & 2 Timothy and Titus: To Guard the Deposit, Preaching the Word (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2000), 123.

Application: So many pastors have disqualified themselves from ministry and broken their homes over this very thing. We care for the younger women in the church by guarding and protecting them from such things. Their energy, warmth, tenderness, understanding and compassion are a gift to the church and ought to be viewed as such.

When we conduct ourselves in this way, with all grace due to each other, it allows the gospel to march forward unhindered.

2.) Caring for widows. (v.3-8,16)

Honor- To respect or esteem but it also means to consider and give due care. It carries the idea of looking after, caring for and giving physical help.

Caring for widows is deeply rooted in the Jewish-Christian tradition.

Jewish culture understood the importance of caring for its widows as the Old Testament is rife with commands to care for the widows in their society.

The Lord Jesus also cared deeply for widows as he raised from the dead the son of the widow of Nain (Luke 7:11-14) and praised the widow who gave her last two mites in (Luke 21:1-3). He also excoriated those who refused to care for their aging parents in Mark 7:8-13)

It was due to the Jewish influence and Jesus example that the early church excelled in caring for widows. (Acts 6)

James, the brother of Jesus and the primary pastor of the first church at Jerusalem went as far to say this:

James 1:27 NKJV

27 Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

The early churches did so well in caring for widows that they actually over applied the Lords commands. They took a good thing the church was supposed to do and made it the main thing. So much so, that in Ephesus, it seems to be that too many widows were being cared for financially from the church and some, may have not even needed it (as v.6 implies.)

Because, of this, Paul gives some strict directives regarding who exactly the church is to care for.

A.) Only widows in real need.(Financial) (v.3-5)

The limits the material support from the church that is given. Not all widows need help. Some have families and/or estates to provide for their needs.

It is only those with no family and inadequate finances that the church is supposed to honor with material support.

B.) Only godly widows (Spiritual) . (v.5b-7)

Notice, she “trusts in God” and “continues in supplications and prayers.”

This means that she has a walk with the Lord and in his living a life dedicated to Him.

Notice the contrast, only those who are godly are worthy of being honored by the church. If she lives a life of sinful pleasure, given over to her carnal flesh, they are not to be supported.

The churches energy and resources are not to be used to indulge in a life of sin.

C.) Family care. (v.4, 8)

Those who do not fit these qualifications were to be taken care of by their families.

Application: Remember, these instructions are given to a pastor of a church. This means then that Christian children and grandchildren are responsible for the care of their helpless parents and grandparents.

It’s not just the job of the social security system or their retirement benefits or their investment incomes. Christian children are to care for their aging parents.

If they do not need your finances, wonderful. But, that does not negate your Christian obligation for hands-on loving care (emotional and physical).

This frees the church to provide care to those who have no one else to care for them. This would extend BTW to single mothers who have been abandoned by their spouses and have no family support as well.

3.) Providing for the ministry of the widow. (v.9-15)

These verses are not a furtherance of the qualifications for financial aide and support. To read them that way makes it virtually impossible for any widow to qualify unless she has been a saint for many many years. Too read them that way excuses our obligation and leaves far too many who are destitute without help.

Instead, these qualifications are meant as a list for the registry of widows capable of offering service to the church. Not just anyone could be on this registry, only those who were spiritually qualified.

A.) Those on the list are to be older widows who were faithful to their husbands and have a history of good deeds. (v.9-10)

In this time period the age of sixty was recognized largely by society as the age that remarriage was highly unlikely therefore it was an ideal age for a widow to commit herself to being single and dedicated to the work of the ministry.

“the wife of one man”- carries the same meaning as it did for a pastor or deacon. It means she was a “one-man woman” or faithful to her husband. This speaks to her character and her morals.

Notice that these good works are described as bringing up children, being hospitable, washing feet (servant attitude), helping those who were in trouble, a life of devotion to good deeds.

B.) Younger widows were to seek remarriage and not to be put on the list of dedicated servants. (v.11-16)

There seems to have been some commitment to remain unmarried required in order to be placed on this dedicated list of service. This would prove too difficult for many young widows.

Paul sates that if they were fully cared for by the church, then they’d have time to gossip and engage in behavior that was not helpful.(Likely due to immaturity)

So, the command was given for these young widows (under 60) to seek to be remarried and raise families to the glory of God.

Application: These requirements allowed for these widows who were having their physical needs met to give back to the work of the Lord according to their ability. This provided dignity and position to them in their later years. This also allowed the younger widows to embrace a life of raising a family to the glory of God.

Conclusion:

In the church, we are a family so we treat each other as such. Older men and women are to be revered like Fathers and mothers.

Younger men and women as brothers and sisters.

Then, like a family we care for those who have no one else to care for them and we do this to the Lord’s glory.

This loving care stands as a testimony to the Lord and sets the church apart from any other worldly institution.

If you do not know the Lord then you cannot be and are not a member of this family, but you can be today. (Salvation call) .

Related Media

Related Sermons