Sermon Tone Analysis

ATTENTION

Researchers from the University of Utah found there's a price to pay when couples don't get along.

Videotapes recorded 150 husbands and wives discussing sensitive issues (how money is managed or doing household chores) and here’s what they found:

For one thing, women who buried anger rather than speaking out were more likely to have heart disease than wives who were vocal.

On the other hand, when women became domineering and controlling, rather than seeking consensus with their husbands, it was their husbands who suffered coronary problems.

In Britain, the same results were found.

English researchers concluded that theose with hostil intimate relationships were 34 percent more likely to experience chest pains, heart attacks, and other heart trouble.

Robert De Vogli, the lead researcher summed it up like this: "If you have good people around, it's good for your health; If you have bad people around you, it is much worse for your health."

BACKGROUND:

Solomon certainly discovered this.

You read of his relationship problems in 1 Kings 11.

Now he hadn’t started out this way.

His reign had begun with great promise.

God had promised him wisdom and wealth as long as he would follow.

But something got in the way of this arrangement.

Read what it was in 1 Kings 11:1

But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites— 2 from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, “You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you.

Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods.”

Solomon clung to these in love.

3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart.

4 For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David.

5 For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites.

6 Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and did not fully follow the Lord, as did his father David.

7 Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, on the hill that is east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the abomination of the people of Ammon.

8 And he did likewise for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods.

So the Lord became angry with Solomon, because his heart had turned from the Lord God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice, 10 and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods; but he did not keep what the Lord had commanded.

11 Therefore the Lord said to Solomon, “Because you have done this, and have not kept My covenant and My statutes, which I have commanded you, I will surely tear the kingdom away from you and give it to your servant.

12 Nevertheless I will not do it in your days, for the sake of your father David; I will tear it out of the hand of your son.

13 However I will not tear away the whole kingdom; I will give one tribe to your son for the sake of my servant David, and for the sake of Jerusalem which I have chosen.”

You know, I’ve always heard that behind every good man there was a good woman, but, in Solomon’s case, behind this good man there were about 1000 women.

Talk about problems!

Imagine trying to decide who you were going to date on any given night.

Think about it.

Solomon could go for almost three years and never date the same woman twice!

But something happened to Solomon as he tried to please so many wives.

Something happened to his heart.

V 4 says, “For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David.”

Those 1000 women had an influence on him.

The relationships in his life determined his destiny.

He was impacted, perhaps subtly at first, but later, he made some drastic changes in his life that made God angry.

NEED

Which just goes to show you that relationships are powerful things.

We all like to say that we are not easily influenced and that we think for ourselves, but the truth is no one is really immune to the influence of others.

I become like those I hand out with.

That’s why its so important that you hear about Solomon today.

You may be here and you may not even realize just how much those friends of yours are really influencing you.

Teens experience it.

You can usually tell just about how your teen is doing by analyzing their friends.

Listen, parents, if your teenager is hanging around with people who do drugs, whether you want to admit it or not, there’s a high liklihood that they’re doing drugs too.

If their friends drink, they’re probably drinking.

If their friends are ditching school, you’ll probably be getting some phone calls from the principal before too long yourself.

Relationships are powerful.

And not just for teenagers.

Mom and Dads, single adults, listen, even Senior Citizens are very vulnerable to being influenced by those you are close to.

You’ll notice when it was that Solomon’s heart was turned.

Look at v 4. When was it?

That’s right, “when Solomon was old.”

You never get immune to the power of relationships!

But, even though relationships have immense potential to harm us sometimes, they are still absolutely necessary for each one of us.

Man was not made to be an island.

Everyone of us needs people whom we love and who love us.

And since relationships are so necessary; and since relationships are so powerful, we need to know which relationships to pursue and which relationships to reject.

Those lessons can be found right here in this story of Solomon.

You can find in this story two principles to remember about your relationship.

First:

DIV 1: THE QUALITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS DETERMINES YOUR DESTINY.

EXPLANATION

You see, your relationships have great impact; they have great power.

They can determine your destiny and, when they do, it is rarely a surprise.

It really shouldn’t have been to Solomon.

If he had just listened to the Lord, he would have known better.

If he had simply heeded his own advice in Proverbs when he said “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” he could have saved himself much heartache and his family yet to come much trouble.

You see, v 1-2 of this chapter reminds us of what Solomon should have known.

It says that there:

But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites— 2 from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, “You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you.

Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods.”

Solomon clung to these in love.

Clearly in this verse God has already told Solomon what to expect from his bad relationships.

The same principle is restated in the New Testament.

In 2 Cor 6:14 it says

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.

For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?

And what communion has light with darkness?

15 And what accord has Christ with Belial?

Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?

Old Testament or new the result is the same: The quality of your relationships determine your destiny.

It’s a very predictable thing.

But it is also a progressive thing.

I am sure that as wedding piled on top of wedding, Solomon barely noticed what was happening to his heart.

V 6 has a very interesting phrase.

It says: “Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, (watch) and did not fully follow the Lord, as did his father David.”

Marriage by Marriage, relationship by relationship, Solomon’s heart was turned from God.

He didn’t just wake up one morning and discover that overnight he’d become a pagan.

Gradually, his heart drifted away.

Relationships determine destiny progressively.

It begins with a divided loyalty.

Once our hearts become divided in our loyalty to God, sin enters the picture.

And that sin over time leads us to places we never thought we’d go.

Notice what happened to Solomon.