Lifegroup Lesson // Ephesians 5:22-6:9

Marriage was different in these times on the way that a man and a women would be joined together. There wasn’t dating, it was set up by the parents, and many ladies got married around the age of 13.

Men would would get married if they were ready around the same age. However, it the evidence and tradition points to men getting married from 18-24.

Parents, the Father would approve of the marriage and would need his approval.

Word Study

Wives

V22 - Keyword is Submit. First, this is a different word than “obey” which we will see is applied to bondservants and children. Google definition - "the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.

Ladies, how does this definition make you feel?

“as to the Lord” This is a worshipful act and is honoring God. It’s important to realize this is what God commands us to do and we do it for Him.

V23 - This shows the structure of the church and gives us an analogy comparing this relationship to all of us and the relationship to Christ. When viewing the your relationship with Christ, what does submission mean?

V24 - Overall people have a hard time with these verses because they think this is patriarchalism - social organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family, the legal dependence of wives and children, and the reckoning of descent and inheritance in the male line broadly : control by men of a disproportionately large share of power.

David Guzik states “Submission does not mean inferiority. As well, submission does not mean silence. Submission means “sub-mission.” There is a mission for the Christian marriage, and that mission is obeying and glorifying God. The wife says, “I’m going to put myself under that mission. That mission is more important than my individual desires. I’m not putting myself below my husband, I’m putting myself below the mission God has for our marriage, for my life.”

Husbands

V25 - Keyword here, Love. There are four greek words for our english word Love and the word used here is Agape. Agape is a Love based upon not only the heart, but the mind. What is the love that Christ displays? Our responsibility is to represent the head of the household. We are to show this and amplify Christ Love to our wives.

4 Kinds of words: Eros - love based from desire, Storge - Family love, Philia - Brotherly or Friendship affection, and Agape - Love based upon decision.

V26-27 - The analogy is then again brought back to the example of Christ as the head of the church, doing whatever is needed to help our wives.

V28-30- Love as our own bodies. The way that we would want to be treated, we must treat our wives in the same manner. We should nourish and cherish our wives. I think we know what that means and how to do it. We need to do it. because we are members of His body.

V31 is a quote from Genesis 2:24

Genesis 2:24 ESV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

The two are one and we need to realize the importance of this biblical position in marriage.

What is the mystery? The mystery is that this passage is not just talking about the husband and the wife, but out the relationship of a husband and wife is how much God loves us, his church, his body.

V32 - Love the wife and wives, let the wife see that, and in turn wives, respect your husband. There will be both as they are implied with one another.

Eerdmans Commentary on the Bible (Christian Relationships in the Household (5:21–6:9))

“It is when this husbandly duty is undertaken consistently and fully that a situation develops in which one-sided submission becomes impossible, for Christian love requires respect of and submission to the other.” - Howard Marshall

In summary of the last portion in Ephesians 5, God isn’t just giving us instructions for the heck of it, He is showing the love that He has for us but also the way to have a thriving marriage. There is order, love, respect, exhortation, submission, and so much more in what God tells us.

Questions

What are your thoughts on this so far?

Why does Paul share us this structure for the life of marriage? Why is it said in this way?

Children and Parents

Background

Children were often valued and vulnerable just like today’s culture but the responsibility rested on their shoulders much earlier than what we were used too. In a way, Children had to be ready to leave the house by the time puberty was over. Children were sometimes sent to be slaves to pay off a debt, sold, used as property, it was hard.

V1 - What’s the difference between submission and obeying? Obey is a critical word used here and more intentional than submission. He ends this verse “it is right.” This is something that needs to be taught as we all inherently like to disobey. That nature is within us. But the emphasis here is that we don’t just obey our parents for our parents, but for God.

V2-3 - Although obeying changes as children get older and we leave the household and the role’s change, honoring our father and mother’s should never change.

V4 - Here we have an action to Father’s, head of the house hold to not provoke the Children’s anger. This was actually a revolutionizing concept as many of the Father’s were the say-all, be-all. But here Paul is saying to to not provoke this emotion but go back to God’s word, disciplining them to be exhorted and built up. Being wise in how you do so and proclaiming Christ in your relationship with your kids.

They didn’t have “Sunday School” back then or a TK program. The education and example of Christ came from the parents. Also, that’s just a more effective approach in the youth’s lives.

Bondservants and Masters

Background

1. The word slaves is often interchangeable with servant.

2. Being a slave was more similar to a job or repaying a debt.

3. Slavery was not defined by race.

V5 - Again we see here the word obey. Fear and trembling relate to the idea of a great, deep respect. We are often told to fear the Lord as that is the wise thing to do. The comparison is Christ.

V6-7 - God wants our heart and that we do that for Him. “as to the Lord” is once mentioned again.

V8 - We are all equal in the eyes of Christ.

The idea of working in the Greek culture was look down upon. It’s kind of similar to today’s culture as we try to work ourselves out of the job. Here, that’s not the goal is to do the bare minimum and the least we can do. God is saying to give it our best as if we were to do it for Him.

This all applies to us as we treat our work environment

V9 - Ultimately, God is their master, whether they choose to accept that or not, God is the master to everyone. Working was more gruesome back then then the typical American job. A better way is to relate to blue collar work or those whole work in sweat shops, third world countries, etc. When people were not working hard they would often whip their slaves or servants and threaten to do so if they were slacking off.

As a Master who is Christian, we must show them the Love and good heart and will of God as we were doing it to the Lord.

Application Questions

After all of this info on how to respond in our relationships, what is something that stands out to you?

How does this impact your social, work, and familial work environment?

What is an area you would like prayer for?

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