Dealing with Emotions
What do You Want from Me? • Sermon • Submitted
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Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
John 14:21 (M:BCL)
“The person who knows my commandments and keeps them, that’s who loves me.”
Will you live by feelings or by faith?
Will you live by feelings or by faith?
Will you live by feelings or by faith?
Will you live by feelings or by faith?
Cultures way of life: By feeling
Cultures way of life: By feeling
Cultures way of life: By feeling
Cultures way of life: By feeling
Emotionalism: Being subject to emotions
Emotionalism: Being subject to emotions
Emotionalism: Being subject to emotions
Emotionalism: Being subject to emotions
Emotion/feeling centered
Emotions rule.
Emotions are king
The three fundamental myths of emotionalism:
The three fundamental myths of emotionalism:
Myth 1: “My emotions are the real me.”
Myth 1: “My emotions are the real me.”
“I feel, therefore I am.”
The “Born this way” slogan is a token statement here.
The justification for more than two genders is built on this myth. Go back now and listen to almost any argument about gender being more than just male and female, and they are pretty much all based on this myth.
Truth: Emotions are important, but they do not define you.
Myth 2: “My feelings accurately reflect reality.”
Myth 2: “My feelings accurately reflect reality.”
“I feel, therefore it’s true.”
Well, if that person made you feel that way, then he must be in the wrong.
Story of Karlene.
“It just made me feel so bad that she would call me out like that.”
Karlene was actually helping this girl.
If you are passionate or even cry, you win the argument.
It’s not necessarily bad to cry or be passionate.
We just need to understand that a person can be passionate about something, and yet be passionately wrong.
Truth: Your feelings are real, but subjective. They are often misleading.
They serve more as a check engine light, than a diagnostic.
Myth 3: “I must listen to, express and obey my feelings.”
Myth 3: “I must listen to, express and obey my feelings.”
“I can’t suppress my feelings”
Problems
License to do wrong:
“I know I should clear up this relationship, but I just don’t feel like it.”
This person made me feel ______, therefore I am going to lie to them. So, it’s their fault. “If you don’t feel safe telling your parents your gender pronouns, don’t tell them.”
Often times, addictions are prolonged, because deep down the person believes this myth. And rather than choosing to fight the temptation, they are waiting around for their feelings about the temptation to change.
Leads to an inability to commit:
Since feelings are constantly changing, one can never be sure if they can commit to anything significant that they may not want to do in the future.
Small commitments: Committing to a group or to a volunteer team.
Bigger commitments: Marriage
Divorce: “We fell out of love.”
Reluctance to get married: “What if we fall out of love?”
The truth is that you don’t have to be subject to your feelings. You don’t have to obey them.
This is a relief in one sense, because it means we aren’t slaves to ou emotions.
It’s difficult in another sense, becuase it makes us accountable for our actions.
Emotion/feeling centered
Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.
They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart.
They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.
Emotions rule.
Emotions are king
The three fundamental myths of emotionalism:
The three fundamental myths of emotionalism:
Gods way of life: By faith
Gods way of life: By faith
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
Properly dealing with feelings and emotions
Properly dealing with feelings and emotions
Be aware of the Emotion Sequence
Be aware of the Emotion Sequence
Precondition (feeling alright)
Trigger (You kicked my dog)
Emotional State (I feel angry: violated)
Action (Yell and swear at you)
Results (You leave)
Consequences (I now have a significantly damaged relationship, I’m still angry and bitter, but also have guilt)
Evaluate your rising emotions before releasing it.
Evaluate your rising emotions before releasing it.
No matter how right it may feel, it may be wrong. Prov. 14:12
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.
Make sure your appraisal of your situation is aligned with reality.
Make sure that expressing this emotion is wise and will not lead to damage.
Make sure that your decision is not sinful. “Does expressing this emotion align with God’s will?”
Understand that dealing with your emotions will be a struggle
Understand that dealing with your emotions will be a struggle
It will require
Self-Control
Determination to persist
Walking by the spirit
A fight against the “flesh”
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people,
training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,
Use “Hey, Say, Pray, Obey”
Use “Hey, Say, Pray, Obey”
Hey — “Hey, I’m feeling __________.”
Say — Quote a Scripture that deals with the emotion.
Pray — Ask God to help you do what is right.
Obey — Do the next right thing
The Big Three Emotions
The Big Three Emotions
Anger
Anger
4 feelings that trigger anger
“This is unfair”
“This is an interference”
“This is a violation”
“They are angry!”
Typical Progression of Anger
Annoyed (Suppress)
Frustrated (Say “yes”, but mean “no”)
Exasperated (Yell or Scream)
Argumentative (Quarreling)
Bitter (Stew, Sulk)
Vengeful (Undermine)
Furious (Attack)
Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah
Fear
Fear
It is triggered by a perceived threat of harm or loss
Negative results:
This can cripple you from advancing.
Distorts your perception.
Distorts your priorities
leads to obsessive way of live
Eventually leads to idolotry.
Typical Progression of Fear
Agitated (Hesitate)
Nervous (Avoid)
Anxious (Obsess)
Dread (Avoid)
Panic (Scream, Yell)
Horror (Freeze, Run)
Terror (Irrational)
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
Sadness
Sadness
Is triggered by perceived loss.
Usually when you can’t take something with you into the future.
The road to Sadness:
Expectation of something good.
Anticipation : Could just be thoughts or could be active.
But the results don’t turn out as expected.
The reaction is discouragement, regret or disappointment.
You continue to experience sadness.
Do not get stuck here! It will cripple your impact. If you are still breathing, God still has a purpose for you to be here.
Typical Progression of Sadness
Disappointed
Discouraged (Can’t be alone)
Distraught (Can’t think Clearly)
Resigned (Nothing can be done)
Helpless(Can’t make it better)
Hopeless (No good can be)
Misery (Intensely unhappy)
Dispair (No hope for change)
Anguish (Sorrow, Grief)
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation