What is Total Forgiveness
Total Forgiveness • Sermon • Submitted
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Columbine survivor Craig Scott: He struggled for years with anger and PTSD. For years he went to therapy with no real healing. It was only when he forgave the teenage boy who killed his sister did he then receive complete mental healing. 13 years later this happened.
The mass theater shooting in Aurora, Colo 2012. during a midnight screening of the film The Dark Knight Rises
On "Dateline NBC," Ann Curry interviewed Craig Scott, a survivor from the massacre at Columbine High School in 1999 that killed 13 people, including his sister, Rachel Scott.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
― Lewis B. Smedes
Being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving them.
Aware does not mean approval, excusing what they did, attempt to make what was wrong look like it was right, denying what they did, blindness to what happened, pretending it did not happen or forgetting. The bible says to forgive and forget. Does it? To forgive yes but forget no.
2. Choosing to keep no record of wrong.
Total forgiveness is a choice. A loving choice.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Why do we keep track of the times we are offended? To use them against the other person and to prove what happened.
Husbands in their anger my say to their wife “I’ll remember that.” And he does.
A wife in a moment of anger may say “I’ll never forget this.” And she doesn’t.
But total forgiveness is keeping no record of wrong. - One of the most loving things my wife has ever done for me is to forgive me and never mentioned it again.
3. Refusing to punish.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
God does not need our help. When we refuse to be instruments of punishment, it sets God free to decide what needs to be done. It is important for us to examine ourselves and ask “How much of what I am about to say or do is just an attempt to punish?”
There is a difference between justice and revenge: Lady was raped by a man that was later caught and she was asked to testify. Middle Eastern if convicted he would be extradited home where rape was a offense punishable by death.
4. Not telling what they did.
There is often a need to talk to someone about how you have been hurt and this can be therapeutic if done with the right heart and attitude. If this is necessary, you should choose the person you tell very carefully. Make sure they are a person who is trustworthy and will never repeat your situation to those it does not concern.
Mark Sterling - Breakfast mtg.
Anyone who truly forgives, does not gossip about his of her offender. Talking about how you have been wounded with the purpose of hurting your enemy's reputation or credibility is just a form of punishing them.
When I remember that total forgiveness is the Mandate- forgiving others as I have been forgiven, I remember:
I won’t be punished for my sin. So who am I to punish others for their sins.
Nobody will know about my sin, for all sins that are under the blood of Christ will not be exposed or held against me. So who am I to expose others sins and hold it against them?
To reiterate from last week, if we do not forgive, we are setting a higher bar than God does. We are exalting ourselves as better than other sinners in the Lord's eyes, revealing that we have likely not understood the mercy and grace of God at all. We are depicting an attitude that says, "I deserve God's forgiveness, but others do not."
Total forgiveness is...
5. Being merciful.
36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Mercy is not getting what we do deserve witch is justice. Or God’s wrath and judgement.
Grace is getting what we don’t deserve. - Favor
True forgiveness shows grace and mercy at the same time.
6. Graciousness.
5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Gentleness: Is the Greek word epieikes (Epi-kas) It is where we get our English word graciousness. It can also refer to mercy or leniency toward the faults and failures of others. It can even refer to patience in someone who submits to injustice or mistreatment without retaliating.
So graciousness could be withholding certain facts you know to be true, so as to leave your enemy's reputation unscathed.
“Graciousness is shown by what you don’t say, even if what you could say would be true.” - R.T. Kendall
Total forgiveness is...
7. It is an inner condition.
Total forgiveness must come from the heart or it is worthless.
34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
If it truly comes from the heart you will not be devastated if the other person does not makes things right with you or thank you for your forgiveness.
8. It is the absence of bitterness.
15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Bitterness can manifest itself in many ways: Losing your temper, be irritable, obsessed with getting even, depression, isolation, and a constant negative perspective.
How can I be sure there is no bitterness left in my heart? When there is no desire to get even or punish the offender. When I do or say nothing that would hurt his or her reputation or future. When I truly wish them well in all they seek to do.
Okay the next two I will unpack the next two weeks.
9. Forgiving God.
10. Forgiving ourselves.
The five stages in praying for our enemies:
Duty: The first level is strictly based on obedience; you are doing it because you feel you have to.
Debt: You have reached the second level when you are so conscious of what you have been forgiven of that you cannot help but pray for your enemy. You do not want God to do a info leak on you, so you pray that your enemy too will be spared.
Desire: You begin to pray for your enemy, because it is what you really want.
Delight: This takes desire a step further. It is when you love doing it! You get joy from praying for and blessing your enemies.
Durability: This means that what you took on as a lifelong commitment becomes a lifestyle. The thought of turning back or praying in a different way is out of the question. It has become a habit, and it no longer seems like something extraordinary.
Jackie Pullinger once said “To the spiritual person the supernatural seems natural.”
What began as a duty and once seemed insurmountable is now almost second nature.