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Transcript
INTRODUCTION
The political convention was in chaos. Each state delegation wanted something different. Some delegations favored states rights, other delegations wanted a stronger central government. Larger states wanted greater representation, and small states wanted an equal voice.
The debate dragged on and on. Even the committee chairman admitted the situation was hopeless. Then, after weeks of fruitless effort, the oldest delegate rose. Addressing the chairman, he said:
The small progress we have made after four or five weeks is melancholy proof of the imperfections of human understanding. I have lived, sir, a long time, and the longer I live the more convincing proofs I see of this truth – that God governs the affairs of men.
Citing the Bible he added:
And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without his aid? We have been assured sir in the sacred writings that “except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.” I firmly believe this; and I also believe that without his concurring aid we shall succeed in political building no better than the builders of Babel.
The speaker? Benjamin Franklin. It’s ironic that Ben Franklin, who for most of his life was not considered to be a devout Christian, turned to the scriptures in a time of crises. However, at 81 years of age, using the Bible for his examples, Ben Franklin brought a clear vision to the convention, that eventually brought the delegates together, and a great document was produced, the Constitution of the United States of America.
Concerning the help and encouragement the Bible offers, an unknown author wrote:
I have found that in times of crisis Gods word has been there for me faithfully holding forth hope, and encouragement.
I have found that in times when I lacked wisdom Gods word answered my questions, and gave me direction. And,
I have found that in times when I am not sure what is right God’s word helps me discern the truth.
Benjamin Franklin turned to God’s word in a time of Americas crisis, and in so doing he found help, and direction.
Where do you turn in time of trouble?
Where do you turn for encouragement?
What is your source of truth?
The story is told of a young Christian family moved into town and rented the only house that was available. The house was in a run down section of town and the closest neighbors lived in a terrible poverty stricken condition. In an effort to love their neighbors the couple went over to their neighbors house. They were invited inside to discover that conditions were worse then they first expected. As they were leaving the home the husband noticed a dust covered Bible under a rickety table in the house. As they left the husband said, “There’s a treasure in this house which if discovered and believed would make you all rich.”
The family began to search their house wondering if the treasure could be a jewel or a pot of gold. After searching and searching they found nothing. But then the mother picked up the old Bible, and began to look through it. Inside cover of the bible was written these words: “Thy testimonies are better to me than thousands of gold and silver” (Psalm 119:72).
She wondered if this was the treasure the new neighbor had been referring to. She and the other members of the family began to read the Bible. As they read each day a change took place in their hearts that were formerly filled with sin, pain and discouragement. And the next time the new neighbors came for a visit to their surprise they found a completely changed family. They said, “We found the treasure and we received it and we received the Savior.”
The Bible is the power that changes lives and when you are in a crisis it is the power that will strengthen and encourage you. What we need today is not more advice from the world, but more wisdom from the living word of God.
SERMON
Turn with me to Matthew 19. After spending three weeks in chapter 18 we now begin chapter 19. We are starting the last third of Matthew’s gospel. Jesus is making his last trip to Jerusalem. Most of his ministry has been focused around the Sea of Galilee. The rest of his ministry will be in and near Jerusalem.
It was a long trip from Galilee to Jerusalem, especially when walking. The trip was made at least a day longer by the fact that the Jews crossed over to the east side of the Jordan when making the trip so that they wouldn’t have to travel through Samaria. That’s how much they disliked the Samaritans.
As our passage starts Jesus is making his way to Jerusalem and is still on the east side of the Jordan. It sounds like he about ready to cross back over when he is stopped by the crowds to heal their sick. Even on this lengthy trip he is not alone. He is also asked a question by the Pharisees. It’s the answer to this question that will take up most of our passage. Let’s hear the question and how Jesus answers it.
Video
SLIDE 1 This isn’t the first time the subject of divorce has come up. Divorce is first mentioned in Matthew’s gospel in the Sermon on the Mount. There Jesus said: SLIDE 2
31It has been said, “Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.” SLIDE 3 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32)
Jesus repeated some of this in his answer to the Pharisees and then in response to a question the disciples ask.
SLIDE 4 This question comes at a good time considering Jesus spent the last chapter talking about relationships within the church. Now the subject turns to the marriage relationship.
We shouldn’t overlook the reason for the question. The Pharisees aren’t coming to Jesus because they want to know his opinion about this controversial question, but because they want to trap him. Once again they are hoping to catch something he says that they might later be able to use against him. There’s not much better topic than this one.
The issue of divorce and remarriage was a hot controversy of the day. There were two schools of thought proposed by two influential rabbis that fueled the debate. Hillel was a liberal rabbi who said that, according to the Law of Moses, there were many justifications for divorce. For example, saying anything negative about her husband’s mother would render a wife unclean and justify her husband divorcing her. Or if a husband saw a woman fairer to look upon than his wife, his wife would be unclean by comparison and he would be justified in divorcing her. Needless to say, Hillel had a great following among those looking for a way out of their marriages. Shammai, on the other hand, was very conservative and said there were virtually no grounds for divorce. Thus, the debate concerning divorce and remarriage was as heated then as it is in the church today.
In our passage Jesus discusses four subjects that are closely related: marriage, divorce, remarriage, and never marrying. These last three, even with the teachings of Jesus, remain some of the most misunderstood and debated topics in the Christian faith. Let me add, that Jesus’ position on these topics was that of the word of God. The Pharisees used the teachings of tradition for the basis of their understanding on the subjects. They looked to Hillel or Shammai. However, when the Pharisees asked for his opinion, Jesus turns to scripture. Jesus responded saying, “Haven’t you read.” In other words, he was referring them to God’s word in his law.
The first subject Jesus covers is that of marriage. The Pharisees ask Jesus about divorce, but Jesus lays the groundwork by starting with marriage. Jesus states that marriage – the union of a man and woman – is to be permanent and quotes from Genesis 2.
The Bible speaks very positively about marriage and encourages marriage. SLIDE 5
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)
SLIDE 6 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. (Proverbs 19:14)
God stated from the beginning in Genesis 2 that marriage is a “leaving and joining.” SLIDE 7 The leaving of mother and father and joining to the spouse. Jesus said:
5For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Matthew 19:5-6)
Unfortunately, marriage isn’t held in as high esteem today as it once was. Divorce is rampant. To lower the divorce rate one country in Europe has made marriage temporary. The courts were being congested with divorces so they made marriages renewable like your driver’s license. You aren’t married for life, but for five years. If you want to remain married you must reapply. If one spouse says no the marriage is over. No divorce. No lawyer. No court. The marriage simply ends and both parties walk away. Thankfully I haven’t heard that this approach to marriage has been copied anywhere else.
God says marriage is more permanent. God says that in marriage the two become one flesh and no one should separate what he has joined together. So is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason? Jesus says no.
The second subject Jesus covers is that of divorce. The Pharisees didn’t really like the answer Jesus gave them. Jesus doesn’t seem to give any reasons for divorce. So they counter with a reference to Old Testament law. Maybe Hillel went overboard and made divorce too easy, but didn’t Moses allow it?
The passage they were referring to is from Deuteronomy 24. The passage does sound pretty lenient. SLIDE 8
1If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, SLIDE 9 and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, SLIDE 10 2and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, SLIDE 11 3and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, SLIDE 12 4then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. SLIDE 13 That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)
SLIDE 14 This passage isn’t actually dealing with divorce as it is with remarriage, but the Pharisees use it as a reason for divorce. Their argument rests on one word – indecent. They took the passage to mean that if a husband finds something indecent about his wife he was allowed to divorce her. This wasn’t talking about adultery because that had already been dealt with. Because the meaning wasn’t clear some included it to mean anything that displeased the husband. Some took it to mean that all the wife had to do was something the husband didn’t like and he could divorce her. Those reasons could include:
Appearing in public with disheveled hair
Exposing her arms in public
Talking with other men in public, or
Cooking a bad meal
We don’t have such trivial reasons for divorce today. Today people get divorced because they say:
We’re no longer compatible
We’re no longer in love
I have found someone else, or
We’ve grown apart from each other
So what does the passage actually mean? In the Old Testament the word “indecent” referred to a disgrace or to a blemish. When applied to marriage it would be reserved for more disgraceful activities, possibly public nudity or improper sexual conduct which falls short of adultery. While this passage seems pretty harsh for women, it was intended to protect women who at that time were often treated like cattle.
According to prevailing customs a man could leave his wife at any time for any reason. The woman was then on her own. She could remarry since she was divorced, but if the first husband came back he could reclaim all of his ex-wife’s property. Even though he had divorced her he still had rights to all that was hers. Why would another man want to marry her? And even if she didn’t remarry and managed to make a success of her life her ex-husband could still take it all away from her. God’s law in Deuteronomy put an end to that.
What we need to see is that while divorce was permitted under the law, it was never commanded. So when the Pharisees ask why Moses permitted it Jesus says it was granted because of the hardness of their hearts. This was not God’s plan. God made it clear that he hates divorce. It was allowed then only because we are weak and sinful. We have a hard time repenting and we have a hard time forgiving. That’s what the last chapter was all about. How do we get along with each other – especially when others hurt us.
Jesus says that marriage is intended to be for life, but that God allows it not because it’s a good thing, but because sometimes there are irreconcilable differences because we are frail humans who refuse to get along.
The exception to this is in the case of adultery. But notice, divorce is not mandated in the event of adultery. It is simply allowed. While Jesus is not saying there must be divorce if there is infidelity, he acknowledges that it is possible for a relationship to be dealt a deathblow by infidelity, making it a grounds for divorce. Actually, according to Old Testament Law, the penalty for adultery was not divorce but death.
The third subject Jesus covers is that of remarriage. After the divorce then what? What should one do if you’ve been divorced. Here’s where we really get into the difficult part.
Jesus is saying that divorce, not the result of adultery, results in adultery if there is remarriage. This raises all kinds of questions. What if a person falls into trouble and difficulty in his youth and gets a divorce and then later falls in love and wants to get married? If he does so, will the couple live in adultery? Is adultery the unpardonable sin? Is divorce the unpardonable sin? To answer, look at perhaps the most famous marital failure in history, a man after God’s own heart, a man named David.
David has already broken God’s law by having multiple wives. Then he has an affair with Bathsheba. To cover up the affair and the pregnancy that resulted from it David had her husband killed. God dealt with David by allowing the child conceived to die shortly after his birth. The infant’s death greatly affected David. But once David’s sin was dealt with, the next child from his union with Bathsheba was Solomon. Solomon would succeed David as the king of Israel and part of the Messianic line. Of all David’s wives, which were many, Bathsheba remained in a prominent place. Even at the end of his life, it was Bathsheba who had access to David and who was instrumental in establishing the next phase of his kingdom. What do we learn from David’s life? We see God dealing with the situation through chastening, adjusting, correcting, and then David was restored.
I don’t believe Jesus is saying that a person who has had a failure in a previous marriage lives in continual adultery in a second marriage. If such were the case, God would not have blessed Solomon. I do believe that where there is divorce and remarriage, there is inevitably a tearing away of the previous relationship and a coming together of a new relationship. Thus, there is in that act adultery. Jesus does not say, however, that the person who remarries perpetually lives in adultery. This is not the unforgivable sin.
Occasionally we need address this issue because it’s important. On one hand, people are taking divorce far too lightly because they fail to realize its seriousness. On the other hand, the church too often mistakenly stands ready to judge and condemn couples who have admittedly failed, but who have sought the Lord and are now starting a new life together. There needs to be a balance in this very sober and serious matter of divorce.
The disciples were listening closely to this interchange between Jesus and the Pharisees. Perhaps they were siding with the Pharisees on this one. They respond by asking if it would be better to never marry.
The fourth subject Jesus covers is that of never marrying. Even though the Bible recommends marriage, Jesus suggests for some it may not be the ideal. For some it would be better to remain unmarried.
Paul discusses this in chapter 7 of his first letter to the Corinthians. While he says there’s nothing wrong with getting married, he argues that it’s better to remain single because you can give your time to serving God. SLIDE 15
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord. SLIDE 16 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world – how he can please his wife – 34and his interests are divided. SLIDE 17 An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. SLIDE 18 But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband. SLIDE 19 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Paul then goes on to say: SLIDE 20
38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better. (1 Corinthians 7:38)
SLIDE 21 So, if you’re given the grace and the calling to remain single, rejoice in that and in the freedom it affords you to serve God. And if you’re not single raise godly kids. And if there has been a failure in your past, know there is a redemptive plan for your future as you seek the Lord with sincerity.
Immediately after this some children are brought to Jesus – a fitting end to the discussion. We’ll cover that as part of our next section.
A report from the US Census Bureau states that more people than ever are deciding against the idea of getting married but are instead living together without the commitment of a marriage vow. The most often cited reason is a failed prior relationship. Another study by the CDC found that 70 percent of those who live together end up getting married, but those marriages are also more likely to end in divorce. After 10 years, 40% of those who lived together and got married ended up divorced, compared with 31% of those who did not live together first. Why does living together leads to more divorce? Many people start live together thinking if it doesn’t work out they can split up and it’s no big loss because they don’t have a legal commitment. However, that tentative commitment often carries over into marriage.
There are numerous risk factors associated with staying married. In addition to not living together, the studies cite:
Age – over 20 you are less likely to divorce
Education – college education made couples more likely to stay together
Income – higher income means fewer divorces, and
Being religious
In reality – no matter what factors you study – what matter most is the commitment level with a lack of commitment that finally does a marriage in.