Me We Us 2 (Singleness)

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Introduction

Welcome back to Knoxville Community Church and what a joy it has been for me as I have remembered last weeks message this week. We were made for partnership. It is a blessing from God.

I have had a difficult especially start to my week. There were moments in the beginning of the week that really brought me to my knees with some anxiety and depression. My wife displayed the great blessing in Partnership.

I went to the movies with my best friend this week.

Was able to drop in and take som quiche to my buddys at the Odells and just laugh and love and walk on in their home like it was my own.

Had dinner with my parents and my sisters last night.

Taylar and Charles had a hard week having to put a family dog down this week and we spent the whole afternoon and evening together enjoying dinner and laughing with one another.

Johnny and I spent some time this week talking about our families and praying for God’s blessings on them.

Tonight we will enjoy the Super Bowl together and fill our bellies.

I say all that to say how blessed I am and how good it is to reflect on the partnerships that god blesses us with. I cannot imagine my week this week without them.

Singleness

As I said last week, we will continue in our series together and we will talk about singleness.

THIS IS NOT JUST A MESSAGE FOR THOSE IN THIS ROOM THAT ARE SINGLE. Let me repeat that....

You at one time were single

You as an individual brought your own singleness to marriage.

You may have a child, friend, neighbor, co worker that is single

We all must know what Scripture supplies for those who are single and why it is an INTRICATE part of the kingdom of God

First of all, I don’t know if you know this guys or not but all of scripture is about Him and His name was Jesus, and GUESS WHAT, contrary to what Dan Brown thinks.... HE WAS SINGLE.

If singleness was a curse or a bad thing, then why was Jesus single.

Honestly the way that the christian culture and christians worship marriage and claim it as a necessity boggles my mind. If it were at the top of our priorities, it would have made sense for Jesus to be married so he could display how to do the dishes for the wife, or teach on intimacy, or on and on. But he didnt. That wasnt his purpose or plan.

That doesnt mean it isnt an incredible blessing from God, it certainly doesnt mean Jesus was anti marriage.

But it does mean that marriage is not at the center of christianity and the kingdom, rather Jesus and the Gospel message sits at the center.

YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS NOT CENTERED AROUND YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS

Look I know this can be hard. I know we have desires for relationships, marriage, or whatever it may be from the time we begin adolescence. Maybe even younger.

Its crazy, I swear it is amazing to talk to my 4 year old daughter about her desire to be a mom. She will tell me daddy I love you, but I wont always be here. Im getting married to samuel and gonna have my own babies. whoah whoah whoah

Now I know she is modeling what she sees in her mother and she just loves babies. She has no real grasp of a relationship or what marriage or dating looks like and if I have it my way she never will....

But the truth is, yes God may be calling her to be the worlds sweetest wife and mother to 30 babies. I know that were be here dream. But maybe not, maybe God calls my sweet emma to go to a far off land or somewhere and to be single. Maybe that never comes to fruition. Maybe she isnt able to have children.

None of those things change the purpose in her life which is to bring Glory to God in everything she does and serve in advancing the kingdom.

So if this is a dentist appointment and this sermon is like the drill. We have reached the point of the procedure that gets right next to the root of the issue.

Its an issue that is true for all of us. If you find YOUR identity in someone else other than CHRIST. It is in the wrong place.

If your spouse is the center of everything you do, it is not a Christ centered and God honoring marriage. It is idolatry and your spiritual life will suffer because of it.

You want to know how to ruin your marriage. I have seen it time and time again in ministry. Make your children the focus and center of your marriage. It is honestly difficult to watch. The dad becomes a complete zombie and enemy of the kids and the mom trades all of her vows in for idolatry of her children.

In dating. You are smitten and you begin to change your identity to impress another. You neglect your relationship with Jesus and then watch as the toxicity of the relationship grows and grows. And if you act quickly you get married quickly and you find you have no identity in Christ and stuck in a failing marriage.

And those who are single. Your desire for relationship and marriage is not a sin or evil or bad. It is indeed a human desire within you, BUT IT IS NOT YOUR IDENTITY OR YOUR PURPOSE.

New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update Chapter 2

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;

9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

11 Therefore remember that formerly you, the Gentiles in the flesh, who are called “Uncircumcision” by the so-called “Circumcision,” which is performed in the flesh by human hands—

12 remember that you were at that time separate from Christ, aexcluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.

13 But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near dby the blood of Christ.

14 For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall,

Now This is one of my favorite pieces of scripture that I know. It is one that clearly states our identity in Jesus. It gives us the hope of Jesus and what we have if our identity is placed in him.

Now imagine for a second that you replace all the references of Jesus Christ in this passage and put in the words relationship status. Now I could put a lot of words in this place, but I am for the point of this message asking that you place the words relationship status.

New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (Chapter 2)

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.10 For we are the workmanship of our relationship status, created in our relationship status for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.11 Therefore remember that formerly you, the Gentiles in the flesh, who are called “Uncircumcision” by the so-called “Circumcision,” which is performed in the flesh by human hands—12 remember that you were at that time separate from a relationship status, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.13 But now in your relationship status you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of a relationship status.14 For our relationship status is our peace, who made both groups into one and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall,

What hope do you have in that verse. Zero.

This passage says that Christ is our peace. Think on that. Do we all agree that Christ is our peace?

Then why are we so surprised when we focus our lives on our singleness and lack of a relationship, or our dating life, or our marriage or children as the focus and WE DONT HAVE ANY PEACE.

Of course you dont. There is no peace to be had. Only in Christ will you have peace.

This was the root of the fall and the root of the sin through out scripture

When Adam and Eve ate the fruit it wasnt enough and there was no peace

When Abraham made his own path to God’s promises it wasnt enough and there was no peace

When Moses lashed out in anger........

When David tried to fulfil the lusts of this world.........

When the Pharisees abused the word of God and tried to fulfill the laws..........

When Peter tried to hide in his own fear.......

When Judas took 30 pieces of silver........

WHEN YOU FIND YOUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST, THEN AND ONLY THEN, YOU WILL FIND PEACE

There is not a single one of us in this room who cannot learn from this lesson right here. While it is indeed true that dealing with discontentment in singleness must be solved from this. It is true that all of us must look for Christ to be the epicenter of our focus and our lives.

When it comes to singleness. The church has for far too long mishandled, and even borderline abused followers of Christ that are single. They have made individual sunday school classes. Dating circles and many other attempts. At every single church I have worked at. LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN. EVERY SINGLE ONE. The toxicity of the single’s careers’ or whatever they have been called has been awful. They have trained churches that this is an in between place where you wait in a holding pattern until “the church can really use you”. But hey “enjoy this overaged youth group we have put together for you.

1. Being single does not make you less than from others who are not

- You are not less useful for the kingdom strictly because you are not married. I am going to say something that actually carries a lot of truth and weight. I have thought if I should say this or not, but if Paul can say it, I might as well preach it. In 1 Corinthians 7:7-8 Paul says this

1 Corinthians 7:7–8 NASB95

7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.

Not only are you not less useful. Scripture actually makes an argument that you are more useful in the Kingdom of God. Why is that? Because, if we are trully focused on Christ as we all should be, there is less distraction potentially for the one who is single.

Now granted Paul is not saying being single makes you more holy or even saying it is easy. I would actually contend that if you are reading 1 Corintians 7 he is saying the opposite. It is hard to live a single life at times.

Paul was sold out to Jesus. His whole life was living towards one purpose. He was an apostle sent by God with one mission. I am not saying that if you are single this is your calling but it does lead me to the second point.

2. If you are single, you are not excused from being sold out for the kingdom. Many singles will use this excuse that they arent married, that they cant be used like others. Maybe they have got that notion from their churches which have engrained that in their brain. Nonetheless they are responsible as an adult and follower of Christ to live for Him. They also use it to say this “God let me get married, and THEN I will begin living for you”

This is sin and will get you no where. Jesus will say to you the same He said to the rich young ruler. UNless you give these things up for me you are not fit for the kingdom of God

We have got to quick giving singles excuses of why they CANT and start empowering them to show them what they CAN.

Ultimately today I want to end with this. We all need to remember this, but in the context of singleness and God’s blessing in it, we need to remember this.

IF YOU ARE NOT CONTENT IN CHRIST IN SINGLENESS, YOU WILL NOT BE CONTENT IN CHRIST IN ANYTHING ELSE

We can look at Pauls words again

New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update Chapter 4

11 Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be acontent in whatever circumstances I am.

12 I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.