Winning Behavior

1 Peter 3:1-7

Introduction

1:1-2:12 Hope is Displayed in our Salvation

2:13-3:12 Hope is Displayed in our Submission

To Government 2:13-17

To Employers 2:18-20

Like Christ 2:21-25

To Husbands 3:1-7

To Everyone 3:8-12

I. Submission Expected (1-2)

A. Because it is Commanded

In the same way - as we submit to the government, as we submit to masters (employers), and more importantly as Jesus submitted to the Father.
Own husbands, not any one elses. Also not a blanket submission of all women to all men.

B. Because of its Effectiveness

If they are disobedient to the word. This would include both unbelievers and erreing christian husbands.
won - to be gained to your side. this is used in Mattew 18 of winning a borther and in 1 Corinthians 9:19 of Paul winning unbelievers.
without a word by their "conversation" or manner of life.
chaste = exciting reverence, sacred
respectful = fear, dread, terror. Just as we fear the Lord.
Your husbands are watching you even if they don't seem to be. What are they observing? sarcasm, back talk, selfishness, spiritual carelessness? Or holy, prayerful, giving, respectful living.
[George Müller told of a wealthy German whose wife was a devout believer. This man was a heavy drinker, spending late nights in the tavern. She would send the servants to bed, stay up till he returned, receive him kindly, and never scold him or complain. At times she would even have to undress him and put him to bed.

One night in the tavern he said to his cronies, “I bet if we go to my house, my wife will be sitting up, waiting for me. She’ll come to the door, give us a royal welcome, and even make supper for us, if I ask her.”

They were skeptical at first, but decided to go along and see. Sure enough, she came to the door, received them courteously, and willingly agreed to make supper for them without the slightest trace of resentment. After serving them, she went off to her room. As soon as she had left, one of the men began to condemn the husband. “What kind of a man are you to treat such a good woman so miserably?” The accuser got up without finishing his supper and left the house. Another did the same and another till they had all departed without eating the meal.

Within a half hour, the husband became deeply convicted of his wickedness, and especially of his heartless treatment of his wife. He went to his wife’s room, asked her to pray for him, repented of his sins, and surrendered to Christ. From that time on, he became a devoted disciple of the Lord Jesus. Won without a word!

- MacDonald, Believer's Bible Commentary]

II. Submission Displayed (3-4)

A. Externally

adornment = kosmos - cosmetics
Peter is not condemning these practices, he is making a comparison. If he were commanding women not to practice these things then
[Italian made sweater dress at Neiman Marcus for $1,295.00, Los Angeles hair studio, Neil George, where the hair cuts start at $150.]

B. Internally

imperishable - unlike passing beauty Proverbs 31:30.
gentle or meek. Not self promoting. It is not all about them.
quiet or tranquil. Not ruffled by turbulant circumstances.
Any husband is proud of a wife who is attractive, but that beauty must come from the heart, not the store Wiersbe, W. W. (1996, c1989). The Bible exposition commentary. "An exposition of the New Testament comprising the entire 'BE' series"--Jkt. (1 Pe 3:7). Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books.
Thses qualities are priceless in the eyes of God. He values these things in a woman more than the owtward appearance.
Wives, do you need to evaluate your prioities? What do you value more the inward or the outward qualities? (this doesn't mean you have to wear bulap sacks) Girls, what are you developing? The teen magazines won't help you.

III. Submission Remembered (5-6)

A. Examples

They were holy
They hoped in God
They "ordered" themselves properly
Like Deborah, Ruth, and Hannah

B. Sarah "Princess" Genesis 18:12
Hebrews 11

She even obeyed her husband's hair brained schemes.
No fear of sudden terror = phobia or anxiety about your husband's approval or trust.

IV. Submission Encouraged (7)

A. By Living with Her

Using the same standard that you submit to the government, your boss, how you expect your wife to submit to you.
Dwell (cohabitate) with her, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, and physically the way the Holy spirit dwells in us. Not just live under the same roof but in a loving, tender, forbearing relationship with her.
You may never understand women but you can live with your wife in an understanding way.
Weaker vessel. men and women are both vessels or "vases" with different purposes. One is stronger and the other is more delicate.

B. By Honoring Her

The husband must be the “thermostat” in the home, setting the emotional and spiritual temperature. The wife often is the “thermometer,” letting him know what that temperature is! Both are necessary. Wiersbe, W. W. (1996, c1989). The Bible exposition commentary. "An exposition of the New Testament comprising the entire 'BE' series"--Jkt. (1 Pe 3:7). Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books.
Men you are not better than women, you are equal to them. Equal but different. Genesis 2:18 - women are the perfect match to men. We are suitable for each other. If you don't get that and can't honor her becuase of it, then you know far less about women than you think you do.

C. By Praying Effectively for Her

For the peace and welfare of the home it is important for the husband and wife to observe a few basic rules:

1. Maintain absolute honesty in order to have a basis of mutual confidence.

2. Keep lines of communication open. There must be a constant readiness to talk things out. When steam is allowed to build up in the boiler, an explosion is inevitable. Talking things out includes the willingness for each to say, “I am sorry” and to forgive—perhaps indefinitely.

3. Overlook minor faults and idiosyncrasies. Love covers a multitude of sins. Don’t demand perfection in others when you are unable to produce it in yourself.

4. Strive for unity in finances. Avoid overspending, installment buying, and the lust to keep up with the Joneses.

5. Remember that love is a commandment, not an uncontrollable emotion. Love means all that is included in 1 Corinthians 13. Love is courteous, for instance; it will keep you from criticizing or contradicting your partner in front of others. Love will keep you from quarreling in front of your children, which could undermine their security. In these and a hundred other ways, love creates a happy atmosphere in the home and rules out strife and separations.

- MacDonald, W., Believer's Bible Commentary