Spirit Filled - Part 3 A Wife's Love

Book of Ephesians  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  51:02
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Welcome- Prepare hearts and Worship 100% of the time, Prayer times, Dinner
Call to Worship Phil 2:1-11
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Introduction

Good morning and welcome. My name is Pastor Kyle for anyone who is new here. Please stand with me as we honor and respect the words of God.
Ephesians 5:22–33 CSB
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.
These are the Words of the Lord. You may be seated.
Let me pray.
Ephesians 5:1–2 CSB
1 Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children, 2 and walk in love, as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God.
… be imitators of God …
Question. Is this the desire of your heart? Is this the life you live? How often do you think about imitating God verses doing our own thing? This is the command we are given at the beginning of chapter 5. Paul speaks on the unity of the church of the body of Christ.
Ephesians 4:1–5 CSB
1 Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope at your calling—5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
He speaks of this oneness of the believers of the church. A oneness that comes from believers putting off their old self and putting on the new, using their spiritual gifts, walking in the light and being filled with the Spirit of God.
This life that a believers walks as they imitate God is to be a walk in love, as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us. This life of love can only be achieved through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
1 John 4:19 CSB
19 We love because he first loved us.
Because of God’s love. Demonstrated to mankind when he sent his only begotten Son to die for our sins. When He, the Son, willingly bore the punishment for our debt of sin. When He, the Spirit came to dwell in his redeemed children, to give them this ability to love. He is the example of this love and the giver of this love and Paul comes to marriage as a proof, an example, as the manifestation of this love in the lives of husbands and wives.
So as we come to these verses on husbands and wives we must keep in mind that Paul’s primary teaching is that we are to be imitators of God, saved by the Son of God, filled with the Spirit of God.
Paul comes to the most intimate relationship among human beings and defines what imitating God looks like in this relationship. Marriage.
This means he is speaking to too believers. Two born again Christians. So we must move into this way.

Type of Submission

Ephesians 5:22–24 CSB
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.
Paul first speaks to the wives. Submit to your husbands. One of our our first observations is that the wife is to submit to “your” husband. The Greek word for your husband means a particular and unique husband. This verse limits its commands to one woman and one man. This verse does not speak of woman submitting to men in general but to a single man, her husband. She is to submit.
It is interesting that in the Greek the word submit is not found here. The Greek reads “wives to their own husbands as to the Lord”. There is no verb here. The verb comes from the previous verse,
Ephesians 5:21 CSB
21 submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.
This becomes a specific example of submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.
Submitting can mean many things.
It can mean “to make subservient; force or subdue.
It can mean “to be or become brought under the dominion or authority of another.”
These are common ways that the word is interpreted but it isn’t the correct interpretation. The word used here is hypotassomia “hippo-taso-mia”. This means something different it means”to be or become inclined or willing to submit to orders or wishes of others or showing such inclination.”
This is a willing submission. A free will action. It isn’t domineering or subjugation and it isn’t blind obedience. This is the same type of submit we see between
Believers and governing authorities
Romans 13:1 CSB
1 Let everyone submit to the governing authorities, since there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are instituted by God.
Other believers
1 Corinthians 16:16 CSB
16 also to submit to such people, and to everyone who works and labors with them.
Believers to God
James 4:7 CSB
7 Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Believers to Elders
1 Peter 5:5 CSB
5 In the same way, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.
It is the way the Church submits to Christ
Ephesians 5:24 CSB
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.
This word is not unique to wives. It is the way believers are supposed to behave when they are filled with the Spirit. True believers willingly and humbly submit or put themselves under authority as God had defined for his people. One of the reasons we know that Paul is talking to believers is he actually tells the Roman church that an unbeliever cannot submit this way.
Romans 8:7 CSB
7 The mindset of the flesh is hostile to God because it does not submit to God’s law. Indeed, it is unable to do so.
An unbeliever will never be able to submit the way Paul describes due to the absence of the Holy Spirit. An unbeliever can only be a slave to their sin.
This is why it is extremely important that we teach our daughters the importance of finding and waiting for future spouse that believes in Christ as their savior and walks in His love as he imitates Christ. To find that man who has submitted his life to Christ in this way. This also means we need to train our sons up to be men that will walk this way and be men whom women will desire to submit too.
Jesus gives a great example of this when he was a child. The family has gone to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival. They would caravan home any Mary and Joseph had found that Jesus wasn’t with them. They went back and found him in the temple sitting with the teachers and asking questions. After they found him Luke writes:
Luke 2:51 CSB
51 Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was obedient to them. His mother kept all these things in her heart.
The word obedient here means that same type of submission. The Son of God willing submitting to the will of God and submitting and obeying Mary and Joseph.

As to the Lord

Paul states that wives are to willingly submit to their husbands as to the Lord. The wife must see the biblical view of following Jesus in order to define what this looks like in her life. We this again in Colossians
Colossians 3:18–25 CSB
18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged. 22 Slaves, obey your human masters in everything. Don’t work only while being watched, as people-pleasers, but work wholeheartedly, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people, 24 knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for whatever wrong he has done, and there is no favoritism.
Here Paul adds the verb submit directly here but adds as is fitting to the Lord. He says that the submission of the wife and the love of the husband is motivated by living for the Lord.
Colossians 3:23–24 CSB
23 Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people, 24 knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ.
Wives are first to serve the Lord, to live a life that genuinely comes from a heart that serves Jesus. This comes from knowing that we will receive the reward and inheritance promised to God’s children.
A wife it to submit to her husband in the same way that she is to submit the Lord. She is serving the Lord when she submits to her husband. A wife’s love for her husband comes from her love of God.
He continues with
Ephesians 5:23 CSB
23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body.
The reason Paul gives is that the husband has been defined as the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.

God’s Kingdom

The world is full of authority structures. We see it in the corporate world, the political world, the sports world, the entertainment business and in histories. Men have abused power from the beginning and to quote English Historian Lord Acton
“Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men, even when they exercise influence and not authority; still more when you superadd the tendency of the certainty of corruption by authority.”
When we start to talk about authority we go to what we have seen and heard. What is common and obvious. That men in power are not good men. That if you give men the authority that they will abuse and corrupt it. Because of this women and children, the pour and marginalized have been abused and taken advantage of for all of history. This makes us get unnerved when we talk about submission. Even with this being said we don’t get to rebel against God’s design and will. Another quote from Lord Acton:
“The will of the people cannot make just that which is unjust.”
Right now we are in a country that is rejecting all forms of authority. It brings to mind that last verse of Judges:
Judges 21:25 CSB
25 In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did whatever seemed right to him.
Doesn’t that sound about right. There is no king so everyone does what seems right to them. But we have a king.
Colossians 1:13 CSB
13 He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son he loves.
Christ is our king. We have been transferred to his kingdom. He is the head of the Church, the body of Christ. He is highest authority that we have. Under Christ we have different authorities. We have Elders, husbands, parents. Each time God establishes authority He also establishes responsibility.
1 Peter 5:1–6 CSB
1 I exhort the elders among you as a fellow elder and witness to the sufferings of Christ, as well as one who shares in the glory about to be revealed: 2 Shepherd God’s flock among you, not overseeing out of compulsion but willingly, as God would have you; not out of greed for money but eagerly; 3 not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. 4 And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. 5 In the same way, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time,
and
Hebrews 13:17 CSB
17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, since they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account, so that they can do this with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.
Each time God establishes authority in His church he tells us that those in authority must take their place with humility, not Lording it over the people they have been entrusted and to be examples. For there is reward and accountability. God entrusts people to one another. Wives are entrusted to their husbands and husbands are responsible for the wife. Leadership is based on love and justice. I believe we will be held accountable for our leadership. I will stand before God as a Pastor, and a teacher, a father, and a husband. That is a sobering thought but it is a great responsibility and honor that we have been given this responsibility.
We will speak more on husband specifically in the future but while Paul speaks of submission he is speaking of a woman willingly submitting to a husband who is submitting to Christ and because of that as He imitates Christ she is protected and built up.
A christian believer first submits to Christ and then to her husband and governing authorities. A husband and the government cannot override the commands of God.
We do not get to redefine what marriage is as it is a picture of Christ and the church. The Bridegroom Christ and his bride the church.

Conclusion

Paul summed it up this way
Ephesians 5:33 CSB
33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.
Respect means to give honor where honor is due. Which means a husband should be worthy of honor. Living out his life in submission to Jesus. Which we will get into in the next couple of weeks.
For the
What does this mean today. You see submission does not define who a woman is. It defines what drives her heart. Love that comes from God.
Unmarried women
Seek for and wait until you find the man that knows the Lord and has submitted his life to him. How he submits to Jesus will be and example of how he will lead you.
Which means we need to help women grow into their identity as daughters of Christ and teach men to be men and not grown children. To teach them to grow into their identity of sons of Christ.
Married Women
Continue to personally seek what this looks like in your life. As we studied last week this will not come natural due to the curse that came when Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the garden. Pray for your husband and guide and encourage him.
I wouldn’t be here today...
Unbelieving Husbands
1 Peter 3:1–6 CSB
1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives. 3 Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, 4 but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.
A non-believing husband does not stand between you and your Lord. He still calls you do live pure and reverent lives. To purify your heart which leads to the quality of a gentle spirit a tranquil spirit. This is of great worth in God’s sight. Only God can change your husband, but does he see Christ in you. Does he see the effects of your walk with God. Do you submit willingly to Christ on a daily basis.
But if you husband is leading you down a path that is contrary to God or the laws of the land, he does not override those authorities. Christ is the supreme authority and we are told to obey the laws of the land. So if you find yourself in a bad situation of abuse or neglect or some other illegal activity seek help. Each situation is different and will need to be treated differently but seek help.
Today we looked at what motivates a wife in her relationship with her husband. Next week we will look at what God’s says a wife is. How does God define what a wife is. Please come back next week.
Pray

Call To Worship

John 3:16–17 CSB
16 For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Jesus Invites

Matthew 11:28–29 CSB
28 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Jesus Declares

John 6:35 CSB
35 “I am the bread of life,” Jesus told them. “No one who comes to me will ever be hungry, and no one who believes in me will ever be thirsty again.
John 6:37 CSB
37 Everyone the Father gives me will come to me, and the one who comes to me I will never cast out.

Institution

1 Corinthians 11:23–26 CSB
23 For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” 25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, and said, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.
Benediction
Romans 15:13 CSB
13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
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