Divorce
Relationships are Complicated • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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· 2 viewsHistory of biblical divorce, Jesus on divorce, God's standard for biblical marriage, Jesus exception, Paul's exception, Equally yoked rules, Unequally yolked rules, Marriage should always honor God, Remarriage, Sexual Immorality, Abuse, Death, God's reconciliation,
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Divorce
The current divorce rate in the US is 2.9 persons per 1,000 people.
Overall, the rate of divorces in America is falling.
Divorces amongst people aged 50+ years is rising.
Fewer couples choose to marry than pre-1990.
The U.S. divorce rate is amongst one of the highest in the world. Third.. 1 Maldives 2. Belarus
There are currently over 750,000 divorces in the U.S. each year.
Most Americans who file for divorce do so between January and March.
The average marriage in the us is 8.2 years long
The national divorce rate for adults between 25-39 is 24 per 1000 people
The largest rise in divorce is those over 50
The most successful marriages are those marred between the ages of 28 and 32
People are 75% more likely to get a divorce if they have a friend who is divorced
Second marriages have a higher rate of divorce.
According to George barna studies…
for those who are active in their church, the divorce rate was 27 to 50 percent lower than for non-churchgoers. Nominal Christians—those who simply call themselves “Christians” but do not actively engage with the faith—are actually 20 percent more likely than the general population to get divorced.
Currently the divorce rate for those who regulary attend church is 30 percent
What does God say about biblical Marriage?
Genesis 2:18,24 ESV
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
- God Said it was not good to be alone
- God created Eve for Adam
- Marriage was created by God to be one woman, one man for one lifetime.
God made marriage to be one
- Marriage is a Covenant between us and God.
Not a contract.
History of biblical divorce
Exodus 21:20-11 first mention
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (ESV)
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,2 and if she goes and becomes another man's wife, 3 and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife,4 then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.
Now back in duet 22 there are all kinds of laws about adultery and wether the woman was a virgin when she was married and rape.
In the case of adultery and rape.. stoning and death was involved for the guilty parties.
Heard God hates divorce..
Malachi 2:16
English Standard Version
16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Malachi 2:16
King James Version
16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Malachi 2:16 (NIV)
16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty.
So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
All the next 3 vs on one slide
16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts.
16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts:
6 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,
Jesus on Divorce
Matthew 19:3-6 (ESV)
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
God’s standard for biblical marriage
Jesus reiterates the standard for Biblical marriage
the covenant
God set the standard
Jesus affirms the standard
Matthew 19:7-8 (ESV)
7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
Mark 10:1-12
Luke 16:18
He allows it because of hard hearts. He gave a permission
They are abusing what Moses taught..
How isreal continually had hard hearts toward God.. but God would take them back
God was showing mercy to the innocent party
But they are taking advantage of it
Gods did not command it ..he allowed it
God had mercy
Example of taking God’s word and making it so it satisfies our desires..
Pharisees walk away.. they have no reply because Jesus is right..
Jesus exception
Matthew 19:6 (ESV)
9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19
Pornea (Sexual immorality)
had sex with someone else. Joseph and Mary.. illustration.
Adultery physical intercourse with someone other than your wife
Umbrella view of all kinds of sexual sin..
Jeremiiah 3:2,6 adultery amos7: 17 adultery 1 corinthians 5:1 inces jude 5:7 homosexuality
Matthew 15;19 on what defiles a person..
DA Carson it seems best to allow pornea.. sexual sin of any sort
Israel often proved to be an unfaithful spouse, committing spiritual adultery by worshiping false gods and forsaking the Lord. In fact, it was due to idolatry that God spoke this word:
Jeremiah 3:8-10 (ESV)
8 She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore. 9 Because she took her whoredom lightly, she polluted the land, committing adultery with stone and tree.10 Yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah did not return to me with her whole heart, but in pretense, declares the Lord.”
Paul’s exception
1 Corinthians 7:10-16 (ESV)
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
big debated chapter
what is an unbeliever? Someone who goes to church?
Someone who tithtes? Given life to Christ and displays the fruits of the spirit.
1 corinthians 5:11-12 What defiles a church how to tell an unbeliever
Exodus 21:10-11 if a man does not provide food.. clothing marital rights she is free to go. difficult passage
1 Timothy 5:8 (ESV) If you do not provide for your family worse than an unbeliever.
Abuse
Physical and emotional
2 Timothy 3:2-5 (ESV)
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good,4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
Separate/divorce. These are the same thing in the culture.. this was a covenant.
Culture of how divorce worked..
Equally yoked rules
Remain unmarried or be reconciled
10-11 advice to christians do not cause divorce if you take a break from each other a time of separation… then you are called to be reconciled… Jesus always wants restoration.
Stay single or be reconciled.
Unequally yoked rulles12-16
If Christian stay with unbeliever..if your unbelieving spouse seeks divorce ..let them have it.
I think the reason says this is because an unbeliever is not under Christ’s teaching or Church discipline.. so how could that person continue if the unbeliever gets the divorce.
Enslaved doolaao. Paul usually uses the word dayo for marriage and divorce..the word doolaao is a strong word.. dayo attached.. doolaa is like held against force.. so you are no longer held to it.. so if your not enslaved you are.. free….
Ezra 9-10 Spiritual Betrayal..
This could go both ways when it comes to remarried.. if your unbelieving partner goes and gets married then they have commited sexual immorality and Christ free’s you from that right?
What if your unbelieving spouse leaves. Well restoration should be your goal Although your not enslaved anymore but that does not mean you should start dating again…
Marriage should always honor God
1 Corinthians 7:27 (ESV)
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
1 Corinthians 7:37 (ESV)
37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.
Matthew 18:15-17
Check yourself first
Talk with your spouse
Get help
Seek the churches wisdom
There might be a time to walk away but forgiveness is Key.. Jesus teaches if we do not forgive each other God will not forgive us..
1 Thessalonians 3:12 (ESV)
12 and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you,
Remarriage
Sexual Immorality
Combining Mathew 5 and 19 ..remmarriage is permitted in this case…
Abuse
Lack of care
Death
Romans 7 death ok to get remarried.
Before thinking of remarriage remember both Jesus and paul teach singleness is good to be dedicated to the Lords work
God’s reconciliation
Jeremiah 3:12 (ESV)
12 Go, and proclaim these words toward the north, and say,
“‘Return, faithless Israel,
declares the Lord.
I will not look on you in anger,
for I am merciful,
declares the Lord;
I will not be angry forever.
God promises to do what the Mosaic Law could never do: restore the broken “marriage.”
God says be perfect like I am ..perfect Love
Romans 11 paul speaks to this passage
Did God reject his people..no.. they rejected Him
Romans 11:23 (ESV)
23 And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in again
God created marriage so we should keep it together
Divorce is not Gods plan but He allows it.. mercy
Divorce coupled with remarriage is adultery
Divorce does not end the moral obligation of marriage..
Are there exceptions..yes.. Death. Abuse.. sexual immor
Is it holy and pleasing to the Lord?
1 Corinthians 7:35 “I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord”
Reconciliation is always the goal
I8
Marriage is a blessing and God is for you with you and in Marriage bonded to you through Christ
Matthew 22:23-30
Ephesians 4:30-31
Malachi 2:16
God hates divorce.. does not mean all divorce is wrong
God divorced Israel
I firmly believe people abuse these reasons than those who want to work for restoration
What is holy and pleasing to God?
Proverbs 18
Proverbs 19 wise wife is from the Lord
1 peter 3:7 marriage is good
Proverbs 5
1 corinthians 7
Pauls commentary on marriage and divorce
2016. redefined marriage
Certain marriages are still illegal
Cannot mary multiple
Cant marry your parent, cant marry your sibling, some places you cannot marry your first cousin