Sermon Tone Analysis

*Marriage Builders and Rebuilders*

*A Ministry to Those Separated or Divorced*

Ralph Sorter

 

*Introduction*

            Often I am asked by a divorced person, “Can I remarry?”

In return, I ask, “At your wedding, did you vow ‘till death do us part’ or ‘till divorce do us part’?

Didn’t you also vow ‘for better or for worse’?”

Making a vow is a very serious matter.

Scripture makes this clear:  “/When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it, for He takes no delight in fools.

Pay what you vow!

It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not  pay.

Do not let your speech cause you to sin and do not say in the presence of the messenger of God that it was a mistake.

Why should God be angry on account of your voice and destroy the work of your hands?”  (Eccl.

5:4-6)/  (See also Ps. 56:12; Prov.

20:25.)

Marriage vows are made not only to each other but also to God.

To your partner you vow to be faithful to the marriage, and to God you vow to be faithful to His message behind your marriage.

A vow made to God by a man and woman and confirmed by the woman’s father cannot be treated lightly.

(See Num.

30:3-4.)

If a husband divorces his wife, she is free from his rule, but she is not free from the law of God.  /“A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”

(1 Cor.

7:39)  “For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband.

So then if, while her husband is living, she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress, though she is joined to another man.”

(Rom.

7:2-3)  /

 

*Understanding God’s View on Marriage*

            Marriage of a man and woman was conceived in the heart of God.

When God saw Adam lonely and incomplete in the Garden of Eden, He said/, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

(Gen.

2:18)  /After making Eve, God presented her to Adam, and he said, ‘/“This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.’

(Gen.

2:23-24)/ 

            Because God made woman out of man, and they are joined together in the intimacy of marriage, God says they are consequently one flesh.

What God joins together (by His design), man is not to separate.

Marriage is more than a man finding a mate.

It is used throughout Scripture to illustrate the union that exists between Christ and the Church, His Bride.

(See Matt.

9:14-15; Jn. 3:28-29; Rom.

7:1-4; Eph.

5:22-33; Rev. 21:2,9; 22:17; 18:23.)

God uses marriage as a human object lesson that illustrates Christ’s love to an immature Church.

(See Eph.

5:32.)

\\  

            You might, then, view marriage as a life-long dress rehearsal for the eternal relationship that is to exist between Christ and the saved through all the ages.

Christ has no intention of abandoning or divorcing His Bride; therefore, He wants the model of that relationship (marriage of man and woman) to picture the same relationship.

* *

*Understanding God’s View on Divorce*

            Because God views marriage as the relationship that exists between Christ and the Church, He does not take lightly our casting off of the marriage vows and divorcing our spouse.

“/Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth /(God is present to witness the vows made at a wedding) /against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit.

And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offering?

Take heed then, to your spirit, and let not one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.

‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel.

‘and him who covers his garment with wrong,’ says the Lord of hosts.

‘So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.’”

(Mal.

2:14-16)  /

            Therefore, to divorce your spouse and remarry prior to your spouse’s death, God calls adultery.

Four times in Scripture God warns that to marry a divorced person while their spouse is still alive is adultery:  Matt.

5:32; 19:9; Lk. 16:17-18; Rom.

7:2-3.

Troubled marriages and divorces are running rampant in our society, and even in the church.

Many in the church may secretly like to end their marriages and start over.

But what will happen if you remarry and give the appearance of happiness and of God’s /apparent/ blessing on your marriage?

Unhappy married onlookers will conclude, “Why shouldn’t I do the same?

It worked for them.

Why shouldn’t it work for me?”

One of the greatest hindrances I have in talking people out of a divorce are their friends who tell them how happy they are since they have divorced and remarried.

Based on this on happiness alone, God cannot bless your remarriage at the altar.

If He were to bless such a marriage, He would only be weakening the marriages of many others.

When debating the right of a man to divorce his wife, the Pharisees used Old Testament Law to justify divorce and remarriage.

Jesus used the Old Testament Scriptures to emphasize the permanence of marriage since the beginning of time.

(Matt.

19:8) 

 

*Staying Single After Divorce*

            Divorces today happen for a number of reasons.

Divorce is a sin, albeit, forgivable.

Some people use 1 Corinthians 7:15 as a proof text for being able to remarry after divorce.

But the spirit of the Scripture teaches that we are to remain single after a divorce until our former spouse dies.

·        /“The wife should not leave her husband, but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband.”

(1 Cor.

7:10-11)  /

·        /“Are your bound to a wife?

Do not seek to be released.

Are you released from a wife?

Do not seek a wife.”

(7:27)/

·        /“A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is.”  (7:39-40)/

            1 Cor.

7:13-16 deals with a Christian whose unbelieving spouse left because they did not want to live with a Christian.

“Not under bondage in such cases” does not establish remarriage, because remarriage would be contrary to the whole spirit of the chapter.

It is a challenge for the believing partner to pray for spiritual peace in their unbelieving spouse.

Verse 16 clearly explains this:  /“For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?

Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”/

When a Christian has an unbelieving partner who leaves, the Christian demonstrates a lack of faith by marrying someone else and cuts off the possibility of God saving the partner and reestablishing the marriage.

God permitted divorce for those who were backslidden in heart.

Should that allowance become the rule for those who love God and who are living by the power of the Holy Spirit?

 

*What About the Exception Clause?*

Many people have used the exception clause in Matthew 5:32 (/“except for the cause of unfaithfulness”/) as an allowance for remarriage.

A closer examination of the passage reveals that this was an allowance Jesus gave for divorce, not remarriage.

On the same topic in Matthew 19:8-9, Jesus reaffirmed, /“but from the beginning it has not been this way.”/

Though this is an allowance for divorce, unfaithfulness does not necessitate divorce.

I have helped with a number of  couples work through the pain of marital unfaithfulness to strengthen the marriage.

To work through the pain of unfaithfulness, yet not divorcing, is to demonstrate the patient, forgiving love God demonstrated towards unfaithful Israel, and the unfaithful Church portrayed in Hosea.

Hosea’s wife, Gomer, prostituted herself, yet God told Hosea to wait until God turned her heart around and she came back home.

The book of Hosea is a beautiful model of how to work through such pain.

In addition to this, there is strong support that the exception clause of Matthew 5:32 is in reference to three other conditions.

Clear allowance for the dissolution of the marriage in each of these three conditions gives us clear direction as to what the exception clause refers.