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Advice #32

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ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   So, you’re about to have a teenager?  I’ll pray for you.  It’s not easy parenting a child blossoming into a teenager, nor is it easy becoming one.  But I’ve got some advice for you parents before your child gets there: decide ahead of time!

   Careful thought ahead of time about the bridges that you will have to cross will straighten the path when you finally get there. 

   For instance, dating.  Deciding ahead of time at what age they can date and communicating that before they get there will save you a lot conflict.  Believe me, if you don’t make that decision now, they will press you to let them date way before you feel they are ready for it.  When deciding that age, carefully talk it over with your spouse, considering what hormones do when there’s attraction to the opposite sex.  Young boys and girls together is enough fuel…make sure you aren’t giving them a match to play with.

   Second, if your are going to turn your nose down at the sight of a boy when he walks in the door, it’s too late to communicate what kind of boy your girl can date.  Early on you need to communicate the importance of character, Christian values, dress codes, etc.  Help your child develop the right values before they go out shopping.

   Third, stress the importance that the one they chose should also have the same life mission.  It’s too late if they are already in love, but then find out they want nothing to do with God, church, or raising children with godly values. 

   Bridges don’t have to be scary.  Bridges don’t have to be intersections of conflict.  They can be wonderful celebrations of a right choice made.  If you’ve guided down the right road, you can smile with pride that your teenager made the right decision.  Sure they will make excursions on uncharted roads because of sprouting independence, but if you talk with them through it ahead of time, they can come back to the right path and decision.

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage & Family Ministry

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   So, you’re about to have a teenager?  I’ll pray for you.  It’s not easy parenting a child blossoming into a teenager, nor is it easy becoming one.  But I’ve got some advice for you parents before your child gets there: decide ahead of time!

   Careful thought ahead of time about the bridges that you will have to cross will straighten the path when you finally get there. 

   For instance, dating.  Deciding ahead of time at what age they can date and communicating that before they get there will save you a lot conflict.  Believe me, if you don’t make that decision now, they will press you to let them date way before you feel they are ready for it.  When deciding that age, carefully talk it over with your spouse, considering what hormones do when there’s attraction to the opposite sex.  Young boys and girls together is enough fuel…make sure you aren’t giving them a match to play with.

   Second, if your are going to turn your nose down at the sight of a boy when he walks in the door, it’s too late to communicate what kind of boy your girl can date.  Early on you need to communicate the importance of character, Christian values, dress codes, etc.  Help your child develop the right values before they go out shopping.

   Third, stress the importance that the one they chose should also have the same life mission.  It’s too late if they are already in love, but then find out they want nothing to do with God, church, or raising children with godly values. 

   Bridges don’t have to be scary.  Bridges don’t have to be intersections of conflict.  They can be wonderful celebrations of a right choice made.  If you’ve guided down the right road, you can smile with pride that your teenager made the right decision.  Sure they will make excursions on uncharted roads because of sprouting independence, but if you talk with them through it ahead of time, they can come back to the right path and decision.

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage & Family Ministry

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   So, you’re about to have a teenager?  I’ll pray for you.  It’s not easy parenting a child blossoming into a teenager, nor is it easy becoming one.  But I’ve got some advice for you parents before your child gets there: decide ahead of time!

   Careful thought ahead of time about the bridges that you will have to cross will straighten the path when you finally get there. 

   For instance, dating.  Deciding ahead of time at what age they can date and communicating that before they get there will save you a lot conflict.  Believe me, if you don’t make that decision now, they will press you to let them date way before you feel they are ready for it.  When deciding that age, carefully talk it over with your spouse, considering what hormones do when there’s attraction to the opposite sex.  Young boys and girls together is enough fuel…make sure you aren’t giving them a match to play with.

   Second, if your are going to turn your nose down at the sight of a boy when he walks in the door, it’s too late to communicate what kind of boy your girl can date.  Early on you need to communicate the importance of character, Christian values, dress codes, etc.  Help your child develop the right values before they go out shopping.

   Third, stress the importance that the one they chose should also have the same life mission.  It’s too late if they are already in love, but then find out they want nothing to do with God, church, or raising children with godly values. 

   Bridges don’t have to be scary.  Bridges don’t have to be intersections of conflict.  They can be wonderful celebrations of a right choice made.  If you’ve guided down the right road, you can smile with pride that your teenager made the right decision.  Sure they will make excursions on uncharted roads because of sprouting independence, but if you talk with them through it ahead of time, they can come back to the right path and decision.

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage & Family Ministry

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