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Faithlife Corporation

Advice #36

Notes & Transcripts

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   Ever had an experience where someone snapped back at you stronger than what you thought you deserved?  Maybe something you said had an edge to it, or was a little strong, but what you got in response was even stronger.

   Why does this happen?  It’s because the other person feels your words a bit stronger than you thought you said them.  The same words on their scales would weigh heavier than on your scales.  Words rarely carry the same weight to both people.

   You see how this can easily escalate, don’t you?  It doesn’t take very many rounds of these pop shots to turn into a full-blown verbal gunfight.

   The sad thing is that in this arena, no one gets their hand raised by the referee as the winner.  Both end up on the canvas…both end up bloody…and the relationship is now worse than before.

   So how do we stop it before it goes too far?  We have to look at things through their eyes on the receiving end.  We have to ask ourselves, “If I heard it this way, how would I react?”  King Solomon said it this way: “Justice will only be achieved when those who are not injured by crime feel as indignant as those who are.”

   Whoooah!  No wonder he became known as the dude of wisdom.  He’s saying that even justice in the land will be even-Steven if the rest of us feel the pain the same way those who are injured feel it.  I think he’s right on target.  And it correlates with how I’m suggesting you consider how your words impact others.

  One more thing here…your words are only a small portion of the message.  How you say it and your body language at the time carry more weight than your words do.  So you need to consider if it could be said in a more loving tone and with a body posture that is warm and receptive.

   Eph 4:29  “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only…for edification…that it may give grace to those who hear.”

 

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage & Family Ministry

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   Ever had an experience where someone snapped back at you stronger than what you thought you deserved?  Maybe something you said had an edge to it, or was a little strong, but what you got in response was even stronger.

   Why does this happen?  It’s because the other person feels your words a bit stronger than you thought you said them.  The same words on their scales would weigh heavier than on your scales.  Words rarely carry the same weight to both people.

   You see how this can easily escalate, don’t you?  It doesn’t take very many rounds of these pop shots to turn into a full-blown verbal gunfight.

   The sad thing is that in this arena, no one gets their hand raised by the referee as the winner.  Both end up on the canvas…both end up bloody…and the relationship is now worse than before.

   So how do we stop it before it goes too far?  We have to look at things through their eyes on the receiving end.  We have to ask ourselves, “If I heard it this way, how would I react?”  King Solomon said it this way: “Justice will only be achieved when those who are not injured by crime feel as indignant as those who are.”

   Whoooah!  No wonder he became known as the dude of wisdom.  He’s saying that even justice in the land will be even-Steven if the rest of us feel the pain the same way those who are injured feel it.  I think he’s right on target.  And it correlates with how I’m suggesting you consider how your words impact others.

  One more thing here…your words are only a small portion of the message.  How you say it and your body language at the time carry more weight than your words do.  So you need to consider if it could be said in a more loving tone and with a body posture that is warm and receptive.

   Eph 4:29  “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only…for edification…that it may give grace to those who hear.”

 

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage & Family Ministry

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   Ever had an experience where someone snapped back at you stronger than what you thought you deserved?  Maybe something you said had an edge to it, or was a little strong, but what you got in response was even stronger.

   Why does this happen?  It’s because the other person feels your words a bit stronger than you thought you said them.  The same words on their scales would weigh heavier than on your scales.  Words rarely carry the same weight to both people.

   You see how this can easily escalate, don’t you?  It doesn’t take very many rounds of these pop shots to turn into a full-blown verbal gunfight.

   The sad thing is that in this arena, no one gets their hand raised by the referee as the winner.  Both end up on the canvas…both end up bloody…and the relationship is now worse than before.

   So how do we stop it before it goes too far?  We have to look at things through their eyes on the receiving end.  We have to ask ourselves, “If I heard it this way, how would I react?”  King Solomon said it this way: “Justice will only be achieved when those who are not injured by crime feel as indignant as those who are.”

   Whoooah!  No wonder he became known as the dude of wisdom.  He’s saying that even justice in the land will be even-Steven if the rest of us feel the pain the same way those who are injured feel it.  I think he’s right on target.  And it correlates with how I’m suggesting you consider how your words impact others.

  One more thing here…your words are only a small portion of the message.  How you say it and your body language at the time carry more weight than your words do.  So you need to consider if it could be said in a more loving tone and with a body posture that is warm and receptive.

   Eph 4:29  “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only…for edification…that it may give grace to those who hear.”

 

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage & Family Ministry

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