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Advice #40

Notes & Transcripts

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   One of the saddest things a counselor witnesses is the struggle some marriages and families go through in navigating change.  Change is difficult…difficult because we get comfortable doing things our way and yet frustrated when others don’t do it like we do.  That often results in a face-off at the OK Corral with hands hovering over the six-shooter on the hips, lips pursed together and a mean stare in the eye.  The sad thing is that that approach only leaves stiff bodies on display in pine boxes on the boardwalk.

   You can’t make others change.  If you do, it’s only for a moment.  As soon as you turn your back they are right back to the way they want to do it.  No wonder such face-offs in the middle of the street has gunned down many a relationship.

   So what’s the answer?  YOU must be the change you wish to see in others!  The only one we are really in control of is ourselves.  The only one in which we can produce lasting change is ourselves.

   So the next time you are frustrated and want to slap on the pistola, ask yourself, “What is there in this situation that I can change?  What role am I playing in this face-off?  How am I contributing to the problem?  And what can I do to turn this around the other direction?”   You know, when you grip a pistol and point it at somebody, there are three fingers pointing back at yourself.  Get the point?

   There’s an old Italian proverb that says, “Once the game is over the king and the pawn go back into the same box.”  You can stand at the other end of Main Street taking shots at your friend, or you can drop the holster, meet at the middle, and walk into the saloon and talk it over with a sarsaparilla.  At the end of the day, the family shares the same house; husband and wife sleep in the same bed.  It’s so sad when they don’t.

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage and Family Ministry

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   One of the saddest things a counselor witnesses is the struggle some marriages and families go through in navigating change.  Change is difficult…difficult because we get comfortable doing things our way and yet frustrated when others don’t do it like we do.  That often results in a face-off at the OK Corral with hands hovering over the six-shooter on the hips, lips pursed together and a mean stare in the eye.  The sad thing is that that approach only leaves stiff bodies on display in pine boxes on the boardwalk.

   You can’t make others change.  If you do, it’s only for a moment.  As soon as you turn your back they are right back to the way they want to do it.  No wonder such face-offs in the middle of the street has gunned down many a relationship.

   So what’s the answer?  YOU must be the change you wish to see in others!  The only one we are really in control of is ourselves.  The only one in which we can produce lasting change is ourselves.

   So the next time you are frustrated and want to slap on the pistola, ask yourself, “What is there in this situation that I can change?  What role am I playing in this face-off?  How am I contributing to the problem?  And what can I do to turn this around the other direction?”   You know, when you grip a pistol and point it at somebody, there are three fingers pointing back at yourself.  Get the point?

   There’s an old Italian proverb that says, “Once the game is over the king and the pawn go back into the same box.”  You can stand at the other end of Main Street taking shots at your friend, or you can drop the holster, meet at the middle, and walk into the saloon and talk it over with a sarsaparilla.  At the end of the day, the family shares the same house; husband and wife sleep in the same bed.  It’s so sad when they don’t.

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage and Family Ministry

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   One of the saddest things a counselor witnesses is the struggle some marriages and families go through in navigating change.  Change is difficult…difficult because we get comfortable doing things our way and yet frustrated when others don’t do it like we do.  That often results in a face-off at the OK Corral with hands hovering over the six-shooter on the hips, lips pursed together and a mean stare in the eye.  The sad thing is that that approach only leaves stiff bodies on display in pine boxes on the boardwalk.

   You can’t make others change.  If you do, it’s only for a moment.  As soon as you turn your back they are right back to the way they want to do it.  No wonder such face-offs in the middle of the street has gunned down many a relationship.

   So what’s the answer?  YOU must be the change you wish to see in others!  The only one we are really in control of is ourselves.  The only one in which we can produce lasting change is ourselves.

   So the next time you are frustrated and want to slap on the pistola, ask yourself, “What is there in this situation that I can change?  What role am I playing in this face-off?  How am I contributing to the problem?  And what can I do to turn this around the other direction?”   You know, when you grip a pistol and point it at somebody, there are three fingers pointing back at yourself.  Get the point?

   There’s an old Italian proverb that says, “Once the game is over the king and the pawn go back into the same box.”  You can stand at the other end of Main Street taking shots at your friend, or you can drop the holster, meet at the middle, and walk into the saloon and talk it over with a sarsaparilla.  At the end of the day, the family shares the same house; husband and wife sleep in the same bed.  It’s so sad when they don’t.

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage and Family Ministry

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