Advice #4
ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU
Ralph Sorter
I love the little love game I play with my wife. I will call her at work or look at her sitting across from me in the car, and say, “Did I ever tell you I love you?” She always responds, “Nope, Ralph, you never did! In all our years of marriage you never told me you love me.” And then I go through this long, convincing line that I do love her and I don’t know how we got through 33 years of marriage without me telling her I love her. She loves it. It makes her glow. And if her mood is right, it even makes her giddy. I love it.
I can’t begin to tell you how important that little scenario is to the health of a marriage and family. And so let me tell you outright: Telling one another “I love you” is far more important than correction and nagging.
As a young husband and father I tended to be a discipline-giver. Harsh, stern and impatient were words that described my demeanor. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, it took a while to see it and back off – my harsh words could crush the strongest spirit. How stupid of me! Who am I to crush a spirit just because I wanted something NOW?
When I see how the frequent words, “I love you” make someone blossom and warm up to me, I can get much further distance out of a request than one that is barked.
Have you come to realize that real love isn’t shown through lectures? Are you mature enough to look at and listen to someone else’s mistakes and decide not to go there? If you can, I’ll guarantee you something. You will find life a lot more pleasant and you look forward to see them come through the door at the end of the day. It’s like a little game I play in my head – How many words is it going to take before I see them blossom in front of my eyes? - How many gentle, affirming words will it take to get her to lay down her troubles and put her head on my shoulder? – How many words will it take to bring a smile, or that long sought-after giggle? That giggle that tells me she’s OK…and so is our relationship.
A Message from HOPE’S
Marriage & Family Ministry
ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU
Ralph Sorter
I love the little love game I play with my wife. I will call her at work or look at her sitting across from me in the car, and say, “Did I ever tell you I love you?” She always responds, “Nope, Ralph, you never did! In all our years of marriage you never told me you love me.” And then I go through this long, convincing line that I do love her and I don’t know how we got through 33 years of marriage without me telling her I love her. She loves it. It makes her glow. And if her mood is right, it even makes her giddy. I love it.
I can’t begin to tell you how important that little scenario is to the health of a marriage and family. And so let me tell you outright: Telling one another “I love you” is far more important than correction and nagging.
As a young husband and father I tended to be a discipline-giver. Harsh, stern and impatient were words that described my demeanor. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, it took a while to see it and back off – my harsh words could crush the strongest spirit. How stupid of me! Who am I to crush a spirit just because I wanted something NOW?
When I see how the frequent words, “I love you” make someone blossom and warm up to me, I can get much further distance out of a request than one that is barked.
Have you come to realize that real love isn’t shown through lectures? Are you mature enough to look at and listen to someone else’s mistakes and decide not to go there? If you can, I’ll guarantee you something. You will find life a lot more pleasant and you look forward to see them come through the door at the end of the day. It’s like a little game I play in my head – How many words is it going to take before I see them blossom in front of my eyes? - How many gentle, affirming words will it take to get her to lay down her troubles and put her head on my shoulder? – How many words will it take to bring a smile, or that long sought-after giggle? That giggle that tells me she’s OK…and so is our relationship.
A Message from HOPE’S
Marriage & Family Ministry
ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU
Ralph Sorter
I love the little love game I play with my wife. I will call her at work or look at her sitting across from me in the car, and say, “Did I ever tell you I love you?” She always responds, “Nope, Ralph, you never did! In all our years of marriage you never told me you love me.” And then I go through this long, convincing line that I do love her and I don’t know how we got through 33 years of marriage without me telling her I love her. She loves it. It makes her glow. And if her mood is right, it even makes her giddy. I love it.
I can’t begin to tell you how important that little scenario is to the health of a marriage and family. And so let me tell you outright: Telling one another “I love you” is far more important than correction and nagging.
As a young husband and father I tended to be a discipline-giver. Harsh, stern and impatient were words that described my demeanor. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, it took a while to see it and back off – my harsh words could crush the strongest spirit. How stupid of me! Who am I to crush a spirit just because I wanted something NOW?
When I see how the frequent words, “I love you” make someone blossom and warm up to me, I can get much further distance out of a request than one that is barked.
Have you come to realize that real love isn’t shown through lectures? Are you mature enough to look at and listen to someone else’s mistakes and decide not to go there? If you can, I’ll guarantee you something. You will find life a lot more pleasant and you look forward to see them come through the door at the end of the day. It’s like a little game I play in my head – How many words is it going to take before I see them blossom in front of my eyes? - How many gentle, affirming words will it take to get her to lay down her troubles and put her head on my shoulder? – How many words will it take to bring a smile, or that long sought-after giggle? That giggle that tells me she’s OK…and so is our relationship.
A Message from HOPE’S
Marriage & Family Ministry