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Advice #41

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ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   Newborn calves and ponies are on their feet feebly walking by the end of the day.  They have to, for if they don’t, they can’t reach mom in order to eat.

   The ability to walk for our offspring doesn’t happen until 10 to 14 months of age.  Some children walk sooner than others, but what is interesting to watch is how protective parents are of the feeble legged little tike.  I’ve even watched the difference parents of a first-born and parents of their second or third child.  Parents of the first-born are often protective and catch the child in the middle of their fall – not wanting them to be harmed.

   Then there are children with special circumstances; parents are super-protective then as well.  Such was the case with our second child, Jaremy.  He had open-heart surgery before he was a year old and had an incision from mid-chest to mid-back.  We were so protective of his walking stage that he had a funny gait to his run when he was young.  He grew out of it though and became a star forward on his soccer team in high school.

   Moral of the story: By much falling a child learns to walk.  This particular principle doesn’t apply just to the transition from the one’s to the two’s…it’s a life-long principle!  To this day I have to remind myself of that principle.  In each transition of independence of a child or a young adult you can witness parents having to make the painful decision: Do I let them crash and burn, or do I rescue them? 

   So parents, I have some questions to guide you.  Are you holding their hand when you should be beside them encouraging them on?  Is this a lesson they must learn now, or better learned later?  Are they too dependent upon you and you need to let go?  Or are you too protective and need to allow them room to fail?

   Some of my greatest lessons learned were those that came with some bruises.  If they are not willing to listen to your counsel, then I think its time they learned to fall on their own.

 

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage and Family Ministry

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   Newborn calves and ponies are on their feet feebly walking by the end of the day.  They have to, for if they don’t, they can’t reach mom in order to eat.

   The ability to walk for our offspring doesn’t happen until 10 to 14 months of age.  Some children walk sooner than others, but what is interesting to watch is how protective parents are of the feeble legged little tike.  I’ve even watched the difference parents of a first-born and parents of their second or third child.  Parents of the first-born are often protective and catch the child in the middle of their fall – not wanting them to be harmed.

   Then there are children with special circumstances; parents are super-protective then as well.  Such was the case with our second child, Jaremy.  He had open-heart surgery before he was a year old and had an incision from mid-chest to mid-back.  We were so protective of his walking stage that he had a funny gait to his run when he was young.  He grew out of it though and became a star forward on his soccer team in high school.

   Moral of the story: By much falling a child learns to walk.  This particular principle doesn’t apply just to the transition from the one’s to the two’s…it’s a life-long principle!  To this day I have to remind myself of that principle.  In each transition of independence of a child or a young adult you can witness parents having to make the painful decision: Do I let them crash and burn, or do I rescue them? 

   So parents, I have some questions to guide you.  Are you holding their hand when you should be beside them encouraging them on?  Is this a lesson they must learn now, or better learned later?  Are they too dependent upon you and you need to let go?  Or are you too protective and need to allow them room to fail?

   Some of my greatest lessons learned were those that came with some bruises.  If they are not willing to listen to your counsel, then I think its time they learned to fall on their own.

 

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage and Family Ministry

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   Newborn calves and ponies are on their feet feebly walking by the end of the day.  They have to, for if they don’t, they can’t reach mom in order to eat.

   The ability to walk for our offspring doesn’t happen until 10 to 14 months of age.  Some children walk sooner than others, but what is interesting to watch is how protective parents are of the feeble legged little tike.  I’ve even watched the difference parents of a first-born and parents of their second or third child.  Parents of the first-born are often protective and catch the child in the middle of their fall – not wanting them to be harmed.

   Then there are children with special circumstances; parents are super-protective then as well.  Such was the case with our second child, Jaremy.  He had open-heart surgery before he was a year old and had an incision from mid-chest to mid-back.  We were so protective of his walking stage that he had a funny gait to his run when he was young.  He grew out of it though and became a star forward on his soccer team in high school.

   Moral of the story: By much falling a child learns to walk.  This particular principle doesn’t apply just to the transition from the one’s to the two’s…it’s a life-long principle!  To this day I have to remind myself of that principle.  In each transition of independence of a child or a young adult you can witness parents having to make the painful decision: Do I let them crash and burn, or do I rescue them? 

   So parents, I have some questions to guide you.  Are you holding their hand when you should be beside them encouraging them on?  Is this a lesson they must learn now, or better learned later?  Are they too dependent upon you and you need to let go?  Or are you too protective and need to allow them room to fail?

   Some of my greatest lessons learned were those that came with some bruises.  If they are not willing to listen to your counsel, then I think its time they learned to fall on their own.

 

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage and Family Ministry

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