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Advice #50

Notes & Transcripts

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   Albert Einstein was credited for saying, “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.”    He’s right, for if we had a clue about how our words or actions were going to be taken, then many of our problems could be avoided.  Hindsight never did need a pair of glasses.

   So how can we sharpen our vision to avoid to collisions?  If I could give you a sure-fire answer to that one I could write the book and retire…but very few of us have vision into the future.  The best I can do is to give you some guiding principles…but it’s up to you to apply them and reap the harvest it can produce.

   Use soft words and hard arguments.  The Bible says soft words turn away wrath.  Having a cool head that can keep the emotion volume turned down while offering an objective argument will always get you farther than being a hothead.  Fight for your opinions but don’t think that they contain the whole truth or the only truth.  How you say it often carries more weight than what you say…so give some hard thought on how to word your argument.

   If you want to make peace, don’t talk to your friends…talk to your opponent.  Communication is the tool ambassadors use the most at the resolution table.  There’s no substitute for it…and neither is there a substitute for it in a marriage or family.  Talking to everyone else but the one you disagree with only piles up mortars on your side of the trench.  Lay them down friend, and meet them in the DMV zone.

   The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.  One of the best pieces of advice I received in a ministry is from a friend that said, “Choose your battles wisely – some of them can be more bloody than you may be willing to pay.”  It made me take a second look at what was really worth fighting over.  Since then I’ve found myself taking on less battles.

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage & Family Ministry

  

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   Albert Einstein was credited for saying, “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.”    He’s right, for if we had a clue about how our words or actions were going to be taken, then many of our problems could be avoided.  Hindsight never did need a pair of glasses.

   So how can we sharpen our vision to avoid to collisions?  If I could give you a sure-fire answer to that one I could write the book and retire…but very few of us have vision into the future.  The best I can do is to give you some guiding principles…but it’s up to you to apply them and reap the harvest it can produce.

   Use soft words and hard arguments.  The Bible says soft words turn away wrath.  Having a cool head that can keep the emotion volume turned down while offering an objective argument will always get you farther than being a hothead.  Fight for your opinions but don’t think that they contain the whole truth or the only truth.  How you say it often carries more weight than what you say…so give some hard thought on how to word your argument.

   If you want to make peace, don’t talk to your friends…talk to your opponent.  Communication is the tool ambassadors use the most at the resolution table.  There’s no substitute for it…and neither is there a substitute for it in a marriage or family.  Talking to everyone else but the one you disagree with only piles up mortars on your side of the trench.  Lay them down friend, and meet them in the DMV zone.

   The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.  One of the best pieces of advice I received in a ministry is from a friend that said, “Choose your battles wisely – some of them can be more bloody than you may be willing to pay.”  It made me take a second look at what was really worth fighting over.  Since then I’ve found myself taking on less battles.

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage & Family Ministry

  

ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU

Ralph Sorter

   Albert Einstein was credited for saying, “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.”    He’s right, for if we had a clue about how our words or actions were going to be taken, then many of our problems could be avoided.  Hindsight never did need a pair of glasses.

   So how can we sharpen our vision to avoid to collisions?  If I could give you a sure-fire answer to that one I could write the book and retire…but very few of us have vision into the future.  The best I can do is to give you some guiding principles…but it’s up to you to apply them and reap the harvest it can produce.

   Use soft words and hard arguments.  The Bible says soft words turn away wrath.  Having a cool head that can keep the emotion volume turned down while offering an objective argument will always get you farther than being a hothead.  Fight for your opinions but don’t think that they contain the whole truth or the only truth.  How you say it often carries more weight than what you say…so give some hard thought on how to word your argument.

   If you want to make peace, don’t talk to your friends…talk to your opponent.  Communication is the tool ambassadors use the most at the resolution table.  There’s no substitute for it…and neither is there a substitute for it in a marriage or family.  Talking to everyone else but the one you disagree with only piles up mortars on your side of the trench.  Lay them down friend, and meet them in the DMV zone.

   The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.  One of the best pieces of advice I received in a ministry is from a friend that said, “Choose your battles wisely – some of them can be more bloody than you may be willing to pay.”  It made me take a second look at what was really worth fighting over.  Since then I’ve found myself taking on less battles.

A Message from HOPE’S

Marriage & Family Ministry

  

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