Sermon Tone Analysis

*1. 1 out of 2 ain’t good*

            Hands up if someone in your immediate family has been affected by divorce or separation?

Someone in your wider family?

Someone you know?

Strange to be speaking about divorce and separation statistics just 30 hours after marrying Tim and Dee.

But current statistics suggest nearly 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce or separation.

When you think God made marriage to be enjoyed for a life time our society doesn’t have a good experience.

And I know what it is like.

My parents separated when I was about 14.

My memory is I woke up one morning to find my father had left.

Walked out.

Gone to Perth - as far away as he could go and still be in Australia is what I figure.

It was confusing, and was and still is painful.

I sometimes miss my father a lot.

My parents were nominal Christians if that.

But unfortunately merely being Christians is no guarantee of a divorce free marriage.

What does God have to say about marriage, about divorce, about separation?

We need to be able to show compassion for those who may be suffering, without compromising the truth of what God says?

Tonight we touch on one of the main passages, although it is not the only passage.

Tonight may be a sensitive issue for you - so let’s pray for God’s wisdom and help.

PRAY SLOWLY

 

*2.

Another problem in Corinth*

            Over the past weeks we’ve seen some of the problems of the church of God in Corinth.

We know that some of the Christians in Corinth were striving so hard to be spiritual they denied the physical - which is the opposite of so Australians.

We saw that last week when it came to sex, some of the Christians thought they should not be involved in sexual relationships, even with their own spouse, for that was too physical and detracted from the spiritual.

Now, as we look further in 1 Corinthians 7, there seems the suggestion, at least by some, that they should get out of their marriages altogether so they can focus on being more spiritual, or perhaps serve God free of the shackles of marriage.

And there appear to be two groups of people involved - Christians married to other Christians, and Christians married to non-Christians.

And Paul writes to both groups to correct their misunderstandings.

Let’s see what he says:

 

/            a) to those married to Christian spouses (vv10-11)/

            In vv10-11 Paul addresses those in the congregation who are married to Christians.

His command is there in v10, and it is a command for which he actually appeals to the direct teachings of the Lord Jesus on this matter (so Mark 10:11 = Matt 19:9; Lk 16:18 = Matt 5:32) - a wife must not separate from her husband, and v11 - a husband is not to divorce his wife.

Marriage is serious business.

God is serious about relationships.

God expects us to be as well.

Our commitment to a relationship with another person in marriage is a picture of the relationship between God and his people.

And God expects us to honour our commitment of marriage until our spouse dies.

v39 which we don’t look at tonight says then that the remaining spouse is free to remarry.

But for marriages where both spouses are still alive, Paul’s command is for the two spouses to remain married.

But....

If one separates or divorces (and the scholars suggest there was not really a notion of just being separated in the first century such as we have now) then v11, they are to remain unmarried or be reconciled to their spouse.

This is an exception.

An exception because we live in a world of sin.

A world where the ideal does not always exist, and is often not attained.

A world where even marriages can be unsafe places to be.

And it was the case in the OT as well.

So in Deut 24 a man is permitted to give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her out of the house.

But in Matt 19:8 Jesus says the only reason why this was allowed was because of the hardness of people’s hearts; that is because of sin.

It is not the way it should be, it is not the ideal which God set in place in Gen 2.

            But now we live in a world of sin, and so back to 1 Cor 7 - Paul says there is an exception, but it is only that an exception.

The rule is - no divorce.

Paul’s aim in allowing any exception is to work towards reconciliation.

That is God’s way.

His people are to reflect his character - people who seek reconciliation, and model it to a broken world.

To the Corinthians who were wanting to separate from their spouses, and I presume they were mostly women, for it is women who are mentioned here first by Paul, Paul says - no divorce.

You must stay married.

This is what is honouring to God, this is what is spiritual.

I think as we come to apply this today - we are still in the same situation.

To those Christians who are married to other Christians the God-honouring solution is to stay married and treat each other as God desires within that marriage.

God doesn’t see it as a matter of convenience which suits now, but may not suit in the future.

Pre-nuptials shouldn’t be seen in a Christian marriage.

So think very seriously before you enter into a marriage.

You may be worse off being unhappily married than being unhappily single.

But because we too live in a sinful world, even Christians are not immune from problems within their marriages.

The last resort may be separation.

This may be a compassionate and loving response.

Personally I would counsel this where abuse is involved either of the spouse or children, and nothing else has worked.

But with the aim of working towards reconciliation.

Separation is not part of God’s plan, but a way to limit the damage done by our sinfulness.

And it is a question of trust - do we trust the power of God to make this broken relationship new and vital?

ILLN - I heard a lovely story the other day of a lady who had been divorced form her husband for almost 30 years.

He had been abusive and an alcoholic, and she felt enough was enough.

Neither of them re-married although this lady had been in another relationship for a while, but then she heard that her ex-husband had changed and was single.

He looked her up after hearing that she was still unmarried, and the end of the story was that they got back together.

Paul gives an exception but the aim of the exception is to allow work to be made towards reconciliation.

It should be noted that Paul here doesn’t talk about a spouse who commits sexual immorality, which is the one exception Jesus gives in Matt 5, because that was not the issue for Paul.

From Jesus’ teachings I take it a marriage is broken through sexual immorality, the covenant of marriage is broken, and divorce would then reflect this reality.

But divorce is never a command.

The godly response rather is confession and repentance and change, and forgiveness, as God works to bring people back together.

Divorce may be allowed, but it is certainly not commanded.

The preferred response is reconciliation.

That’s Paul’s word to Christians who are married to Christian spouses.

But what if I was a non-Christian and married a non-Christian and then I got converted?

That would have probably been the case for at least some of the Christians in Corinth, after all it was a rather young church.

Do I have to stay married to this non-Christian?

Paul writes to these people in vv12-16, they are what he calls ‘the rest’.

/            b) to those converted after marriage to a non-Christian (vv12-16)/

            In essence the same principle applies - stay married to them if they are willing to stay married to you.

So vv12-13 - READ.

            Paul says I am not quoting Jesus at this point, for in his recorded words Jesus never talks about such mixed marriages.

Probably it wasn’t such an issue in Israel in his time.

But just because he is not quoting Jesus, doesn’t mean this is not God’s word.

It is.

This is Paul speaking by the Holy Spirit.

It is the word of God to his people in Corinth, and it is still the word of God to his people in 2003.

Paul’s principle which he will develop in later verses as we’ll see next week is this - stay as you are.

If you became a Christian after you got married and your spouse is still willing to live with you, then you must stay with them.

The covenant of marriage takes priority over any problems of potential unbelief.

As Christians we think it would be easier for a non-Christian if the person they married became a Christian, but we don’t realise what it may be like.

Listen to this testimony from a non-Christian whose wife became a Christian after they were married - READ Prior.