Chosen: The Power of a Transformed Spirit
1 Peter: Chosen • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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1 Peter 3:1-7 “1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
We have been chosen by God to be part of His eternal purpose in this world
We have been chosen to be holy: Consecrated and set apart.
To live lives that reflect and proclaim the One who has called us
Lives that are exemplary
And that includes our marriages.
You know, just as there are people in the world who live “good” lives,
There are many people who have what most people would call “good marriages”.
They don’t argue—at least not publicly
They genuinely seem to like being around each other
They stay married for a long time
And that’s good.
But the divorce rate in America is quite high. Somewhere between 40% and 50%
The divorce rate among those who claim to go to church regularly is lower, thankfully, but statistics claim that it is still around 30%!
and that still seems high to me!
God has called us to be holy and set apart in ALL areas of our lives
And that includes our marriages!
It seems like the divorce rate among Christian people should not be anywhere close to what it is in the world
I believe that marriages in the church should be something truly special
That husband/wife relationships in the church should be noticeably different
This is why Paul talks to husband and wives like he does in Ephesians 5
Telling them, “Hey, your marriage the earthly picture of the love that Jesus has for His church”
This is a holy calling!
In our passage today, Peter is talking about what it is like to be CHOSEN for those who are married.
And just like last week, this is one of those challenging passages
He says some things that are difficult to swallow in today’s culture
He tells wives to “be subject” to their husbands; to “submit”
He talks about how women adorn themselves
He says that Sarah called her husband, Abraham, “lord”
And in verse 7, he talks about women being the weaker vessel
These are hard things for us to understand, especially as our world changes
And our cultural understanding of men and women’s roles change
talking about submission and outward adornment is getting harder and harder for folks to swallow
But as we read and study this passage, there are a few things that we have to keep in mind
We have to consider His audience
Those in the Greco-Roman world; the world of the Greeks and the Romans
In this world, women had very little freedom to be “their own people”
When it came to the family structure, The man of the household was the complete master of his household
I’ve even heard it said that he could have his children executed if he wanted, and suffer no punishment for it
And for the girls, they did not have opportunities for education and advancement that the boys had
And when they were married, the father handed off authority over his daughter to her now husband
There was a very definite and understood structure within marriage that could be quite difficult for women
He was writing to those who were, or quite possibly were, “unequally yoked”
In other words, he wasn’t writing to folks like us…folks who had grown up in church
where husband and wife both went to Sunday School and gave their hearts to the lord and were baptized early in life
The Gospel was new to these folks.
You had marriages where one partner believed, but the other one did not yet believe
It was probably very common. This was his audience
Consider his goal
His goal, as we noted last Sunday is never to train people how to claim their rights or to reform some sort of social order, although that may happen as the Gospel takes effect
Rather, his goal is bigger and deeper than that.
This is about how do we respond to difficult circumstances as God’s chosen people
It’s about, are people being led toward faith and belief in Jesus Christ
And this is where things get really tough for us in our modern culture
Because in these days, what are being considered are not questions of God’s glory and others coming to belief
Rather, we are very concerned about
Are things fair
ARe my rights being violated
What about me being my own person and having my own identity
i get email publications from various Christian sources, and I am always amazed at how many churches are engaged in legal battles with each other
Pastors suing their congregation for defamation of character
Congregations taking their leadership to court because some process wasn’t followed correctly
This is how our culture acts, and unfortunately, too often it rubs off on the church
In this passage, Peter could have instructed wives with unbelieving husbands to abandon their marriages, or make sure that their rights were being protected
And sometimes difficult choices to have to be made in marriages
But again, this isn’t Peter’s main concern.
His concern is, rather,
What kind of testimony are you leaving
Is your husband being led toward belief in Christ
So, here, Peter has some specific instructions for wives who find themselves in marriages where their husband is not a believer
He starts out his instructions by saying “likewise”
meaning, “IN the same way”, or “in similar manner”.
Meaning: follow the example of...
It’s a comparison word
To whom is he making this comparison?
Well, whom? Whose example are the wives to follow?
Well, the example of Christ!
The One who submitted His will to the Father, knowing that the Father always judges justly and does what is right
Wives, submit your will. This is where it starts.
For husbands and wives, marriages that glorify God
marriages that lead an unbelieving spouse toward belief in Christ,
start with submitting our will to the Father, saying “no matter if things seem fair or not, my will is submitted to The Father and to His plan”
Because I know that He is always right
So, in this light, Peter says,
Wives, consider your actions
“Wives, be subject, submissive, to your own husbands”
Not to men in general; rather, to your own husbands
Peter is appealing to a certain order that God has established for the marriage relationship
Of a husband being a leader in the home and
of a husband being answerable to Christ as the head of the home
In Ephesians 5, Paul does the same thing,
We will look at instructions for husbands next week
He says, wives, be respectful, submissive, to your husbands
And this is especially noteworthy when you remember that he is talking to wives whose husbands may not be believers
For wives in this situation, what might their tendency be?
Maybe it would be to say, “My husband doesn’t believe, so I don’t have to listen to what He says
Maybe her tendency would be to seek most of her council from other men
Maybe it would be to start drawing away from her husband
And Peter reminds these wives, “No. Remember that he is still your husband.
The order and structure that God has put in place for marriage still applies.
Remember to still respect him and submit to him
Why? Because there is a big picture item here. There is a bigger concern here:
Is your husband being led toward belief in Christ?
that’s the goal!
And your actions, as a Believer, are going to play a big part in that!
He’s going to witness your conduct and either be intrigued about what has happened to you, and want to know more
Or, he is going to be one of those people who end up stumbling over Jesus, as Peter said in chapter 1
Either way, he has been given a chance to believe
And many times this will happen without you saying a word!
You might have heard the saying “Share the Gospel. And if necessary, use words”.
There’s some truth to that, but it’s sort of ridiculous
Actions are extremely important, that’s true.
But people can’t know the truth of the Gospel, if no one says anything. As it says in Romans 10, how will they hear without a preacher?
But perhaps your husband has already heard and has understood. Now it’s time to just live it.
they need to see conduct that is respectful and pure
So wives, consider your actions
The same principle is true for wives whose husbands are believers.
your husbands often need to be reminded of who God is, and have their eyes pointed back to Him
Wives, your actions as respectful, spirit-filled women are a way that this can happen
Watch your attitude
1 Peter 3:3-4 “3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
Possibly, like me, you have heard this passage cited as biblical evidence that jewelry is bad or that it is forbidden in Scripture
But in context, this passage is not meant to be a statement on whether or not jewlery should be worn or not.
I am fairly certain that the people in Peter’s audience had different ideas about jewelry than conservative Mennonites do!
Rather, I believe, Peter is addressing something that is common to all of us
And that is our tendency to make ourselves presentable and attractive on the outside, but leaving the heart unaddressed.
We can polish up the outside and win people’s approval, or admiration.
But inside, we can be “like whitewashed sepulcher, as Jesus said
The cosmetic industry in this country is a $49 billion/year industry!
I’m not going to make a statement on the rightness or wrongness of using cosmetics
But I believe that it can be our tendency to use cosmetics and accessories to try to cover up what is really going on inside!
But Peter says to these wives, “This is not what makes you beautiful”. Don’t depend on outward adornments to try to appear beautiful or to feel beautiful
True beauty comes from the inner beauty of the heart!
For us men, I would hope that all of us can testify to this being true!
You can marry a woman who is physically perfect in every way
But if she is sharp-tongued, and ill-tempered, and disrespectful, and manipulative
There is no man alive who wants to be married to a woman like that
But when a woman is gentle, and kind, and respectful, full of peace, she doesn’t slander or gossip,
A woman like this is truly attractive
Not only to men, but
As we read here, this kind of beauty is very precious in the sight of God.
So, the point of this passage is not to forbid the wearing of jewelry, necessarily (although if you decide not to, that is good, too)
Rather the point is, how can you get your husband to believe?
Well, let the Holy Spirit transform and adorn your heart with a spirit that is gentle and quiet
And your husband can’t help but notice this!
Have good examples
He says, if you are having trouble understanding what I am talking about, look at women in the Bible
Look at how they lived and acted
(Not all examples are good! E.g. Jezebel! don’t be a Jezebel!)
Look at how they used to adorn themselves
And he points to the example of Sarah.
And he makes some kind of strange statements about her
Verse 6, it says that Sarah called Abraham “lord”
What does that mean?
Do you have to call your husband “lord?”
He comes home from work, and you say, “Welcome home, lord”
Or he says, “Honey, could would you mind making me a sandwich?” and you say, “yes, lord”
No, that’s not what this means.
This is not LORD, which means Yaweh, the One true God
Rather, Peter is going back to this theme of respecting your husband
Rather, this is small “L” lord. It is a term of respect
He says, have the kind of respect for your husband that Sarah did
Even though Abraham was not always “respectful”, and what your husband does is not always going to be respectful, you still respect him
Then he says, “You are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening”
You are her children if you follower her example
obviously, not bilogical children, but you become the same kind of person that Sarah was if you follow her example
If you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
I don’t know what all this is referring to, but if you think about Sarah, I imagine that there was quite a bit of uncertainty in her life as she related to Abraham
God called Abraham away from their homeland. did Sarah receive the same call, or did she simply choose to follow? I don’t know, but I imagine there could have been some fear there
What about the fact that they were unable to have children? A man could probably have divorced his wife for something like that, leaving her poor and destitute
What about the times such as when they went down to Egypt and all the powerful men noticed how beautiful she was, and Pharaoh took her into his house, and her husband didn’t really stand up for her
There was probably a lot of fear and uncertainty in her life. Or could have been. Yet she continued on living faithfully with Abraham
And in the same way, ladies, you are daughters of Sarah if you do not give way to fear
So, women, have godly examples to follow
Or to have mentors
Women who have given you godly examples that you want to follow
Women to whom you can turn and talk about things in your life
Ask questions, seek counsel and pray with
Maybe it’s your mother. Maybe it’s older women. Maybe it’s others in your age group.
But have godly examples and mentors in your life whom you follow
This is an example of the Body of Christ in action
and, I cant’ say this enough.
This is for the purpose of pointing your husband and those around you toward belief in Jesus Christ
As all of life should be
Next week, we will be thinking about the men, and what our responsibilities are
How does it look for husbands to live as those who have been chosen