Spiritual Adulting
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Adulting 101
Adulting 101
There are some fundamentals that our kids have to get to be able to launch successfully. Some they need to know before they go off to college. They need some grasp of all of these, and others, before they start their career post college.
This is not an exhaustive list, you can probably think of others, but this is adulting 101.
Budgeting is a big one. Sara and I worked together on this one w/ our kids to varying degrees of success. Whether it’s their allowance or salary, they have to understand they can’t spend more than they take in. And there needs to be something left at the end of the month to pay those bills.
Some bills are annual, property tax. Some are semi-annual like car insurance. Some are monthly. Some come due the 1st. Others come due other times. They have to have the money on hand to pay them.
Credit cards are dangerous. Compounding interest can crush you.
Household chores. Sara did most of the work here.
Laundry. Colors and whites. Bleach. Cold water. Hot water. Hot dryers vs. line drying.
Dusting, vacuuming, and bathrooms. College roommates and spouses both appreciate these skills.
Yard work. I did most of the work here.
Mowing, edging, blowing, trimming, weed-killing, fertilizing, and bug killing.
Midwestern lawns. HOAs have rules. Property values. Relationships w/ neighbors.
Sara’s and my first house, we lived between 2 single women. One had a brother who was firefighter who had a lawn bsns on his off days. He mowed her weeds. She never watered, no grass. The other never did anything. Another neighbor and I took turns b/c if she let her weeds grow, they would germinate into our lawns.
I vowed, if I had a daughter, she would know yard work. If she hired it out she would know what needed t/b done.
The day I gave my mower to my daughter was a good day. We were moving out here and she lived in the Houston area.
Hygiene. We worked together on this one.
Boys stink. Need to do something about the stink and don’t let your teeth fall out.
Hair styles, what you do w/ it is your bsns, but keep it clean.
Cooking. Sara did great w/ this as you can imagine. She made it fun and interesting. All 3 of our kids got the basics. No need to be a 5-star chef. Our middle, he’s taken on Sara’s interests in doing more than the basics. They’ll all survive on more than mac and cheese, Ramen noodles, fast food.
In college they didn’t need to cook but they needed to know what to eat. Fruits and Vegetables w/ the meat. We all want regular children.
Car maintenance. Oil changes and tire rotations. You don’t have to do this yourself but you need to know enough to keep your car running and not get taken advantage of my a mechanic.
Job responsibilities. It starts w/ school. Get up, get ready, be on time. Get your assignments done. Do what you need to do so later you can do what you want to do. Go to bed at a time that will allow you to do it again tomorrow.
You guys get this. We all got it from our parents, or figured it out on our own. We don’t have to be all-stars at any of this. But we need to have these basics down.
This is adulting. Being an adult. The basics. Adulting 101.
We are in a section of the series I”m teaching thru called, The Sermon on the Mount. 3 chapters in Matthew, half a chapter in Luke where Jesus is teaching Spiritual Adulting 101.
These are the fundamentals, lifestyle characteristics of ppl of faith.
In this section, Jesus is speaking to believers in front of people who are not. He will use the ppl who are not believers as examples not to follow. But the focus of his message here is the ppl of faith and how to live their lives as believers.
It is especially important they get this b/c in a short time He will be launching them to live on their own, w/out Him.
Just like we parents launch our kids to be able to live successfully on their own, Jesus wants us to be able to succeed on our own.
As parents, we are always available to help and offer advice, even allowing our kids to move back in for a time if the first launch does not go smoothly.
God, provides the HS w/ power, wisdom, and abilities that we can access to help us launch successfully. We’ve got the resources. We just need to use them.
Today we’re studying a passage in Luke. Again, Jesus is speaking to people who are already saved.
This is not ‘how to get to heaven.’ This is how to live your life and get the best out of it until you get to heaven.
Heaven is going to be great. This life is hard. So, to get the best out of it, apply these fundamentals, lifestyle characteristics, and you’ll get the most and best out of this life while you’re here.
Larger section than we’re in today. We’ve been studying here for a few weeks and will be her a few more. Today’s passage is part. This is not an exhaustive list. But these are some characteristics to work on applying to our lives today.
He starts the passage out w/ some do’s and don’t’s. There are 2 don’ts then 2 do’s. But the bigger point is God will treat you the way you treat others.
This is not how to get saved. This is how to live you life in light of the fact that you already are saved.
We Get What We Give
We Get What We Give
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
First, 2 don’ts. Don’t judge and don’t condemn. They are related.
We throw this around a lot. Often, as an excuse to be allowed to get away w/ something.
What does it mean to judge someone? It means you assume you know their heart motive behind an action you see.
The idea here is a perspective toward others that holds them down in guilt and never seems to encourage them toward God.
It’s a final conclusion, ultimate opinion, rooted in arrogance that reacts to the imperfections in the ppl around you as if now God is completely beyond their reach.
IOW, condemned, going to Hell for what they did, no hope for salvation. A feeling it’s your responsibility to put your foot on their neck and not let them up.
We can’t know a person’s heart motive just by looking at them. No one is beyond hope, certainly for their behavior. Salvation is not based on how we act. It’s based on what we believe. No believer acts perfectly all the time. Though, our beliefs do impact our behavior.
We can evaluate what we see. We should all know sin when we see it.
If you see me having a romantic dinner w/ someone other than Sara you can safely draw a couple of accurate conclusions. One, I should be doing that w/ her. And, 2, I’ll be dead in day.
We call sin a sin. If you lie, I can judge that to be sin. I don’t need to know your heart motive. If you walk out of a restaurant w/out paying, I can judge that, too.
Jesus is not saying not call sin, sin when we see it.
Be merciful. Mercy is not punishing ppl who deserve t/b punished. Don’t hold something against someone for a long time. Let it go.
There is a situ that Paul addresses in the Corinthian church.
It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. As one who is present with you in this way, I have already passed judgment in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this. So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.
Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”
A son is sleeping with his father’s wife. Probably step-mom. That’s not the point. Sin is sin. Sleeping w/ anyone you’re not married to is adultery and a sin. It is especially bad to do this w/in your family, even a step-family.
Everyone in the church could evaluate the situation as sinful. And, the proper reaction is to tell the guy he can’t come to church any more. He’s a believer. He still has faith. Still is going to heaven when he dies. He just can’t come to church as long has he’s in this kind of relationship. Choices like this have consequences.
But then, apparently, between Paul writing this letter and the next one, the man repented, apologized, broke off the relationship and committed to living a moral lifestyle.
But, the church was reluctant to let him back in. That’s not merciful.
The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
No one in the church knew his heart motive. But, in one important sense, it didn’t matter. His behavior was sinful. But behavior doesn’t condemn you permanently.
And, when he apologized, they should have taken their foot off his neck and let him back in.
Hold him accountable for his behavior. There are consequences that are not considered judgmental in the sense Jesus used here. Then, encourage him back to God when he changes his behavior.
Related to the 2 don’ts are the 2 dos
Do forgive and do be generous.
Forgiveness means let God handle making things right. We can let things go. Don’t hold a grudge, it’s only hurting you.
Forgiveness is unconditional. Reconciling the relationship is very conditional. If someone hurts you, limit your exposure to them. You can still forgive and let it go.
Jesus did that for you. As a Xian, your sins are forgiven whether you apologize for them or not. Confessing sin is more about us owning our bad behavior and a step in the direction of changing it.
Jesus isn’t waiting for us to apologize to forgive us. He’s already let it go.
Don’t pretend ppl are innocent when they are not. That’s not forgiveness. Boundaries are okay.
This is a generous act. Be generous. It’s more than money. Be generous w/ your time, your interest in the lives of others, your heart, and all that you have. Don’t be foolish. Give more than you get.
The picture Jesus drew here w/ his words is of a buyer in a market buying grain. The seller fills the jar, shakes it, tamps it down, creates a little hole on top, fills that hole w/ even more grain making sure the buyer is getting the maximum amount possible for their money. Then, the seller pours the grain into the fold of the buyer’s garment, their lap, even though they are standing up.
Forgive ppl that much. There is no air pocket, no room for anything except grain. There should no room for judgment nor condemnation in the way you treat others.
The promise Jesus made here is God will give us according to what we give to others. Don’t give to get. But you will get if you give.
Get what? Remember where this sermon started. “Blessed are those who...”
Blessed means satisfied, deeply contented, at peace in life. God will bless you according to the measure you don’t judge, don’t condemn, forgive, and give generously to others.
How much do you want?
Don’t give to get. Make these characteristics habitual in your life. These are among the spiritual fundamentals of adulting 101. If you do give, then you will get according to the measure you give out.
Next, he calls the ppl out for who they are following. There were ppl in the crowd they had no bsns following. Nor should they follow the way they followed. Even tho those ppl billed themselves as leaders.
What’s he talking about? Choose who you follow. B/C, you will become like the one who leads, teaches and influences you.
Follow the Good Leader
Follow the Good Leader
He also told them this parable: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit? The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
So, who’s the blind who’s trying to lead? Obviously, He’s referring to the Pharisees who are spiritually blind. They don’t know Jesus, they don’t know what God’s word means (they know very well what it says), but they don’t do what God intends for them to do.
So, Jesus, speaking to the disciples and believers in the crowd, don’t follow them.
Not so obviously, He is also saying, don’t just follow yourself or any of the other ppl in the crowd, including the believers in the crowd. Examine yourself, do you know everything? Can you see everything? Jesus can.
Simply, don’t follow ME. Join me, and let’s follow the only One who see clearly. Together, we can help each other stay out of trouble.
If you follow a blind leader, being at least a little blind yourself, it will end in disaster. That pit is more than just a little ditch, or a culvert like what’s behind the church. It would be a catastrophe to end up in that pit.
So, choose to follow the One w/ the best vision of truth. Jesus is referring to Himself in that way.
In choosing your leader, He is also your teacher. Stay humble. The teacher knows more that the student. As the teacher teaches, the student does more than just learn from the teacher.
In the c.1, students practically lived w/ their teacher. Not like today when we go to school in the morning. Then, come home in the afternoon. They were w/ their teacher almost all day, everyday. Students took on the characteristics and quirks of their teacher.
Wouldn’t it be great to have all of Jesus’s quirks?
Since He’s gone back to Heaven, He sent us the HS to continue to do what He started.
Maybe when you were in school you had a favorite teacher. Maybe elementary, Middle School, or High School. I think my favorite teacher was from high school, Mr. Wallace. He was a math teacher. I took Algebra 2, Trig, and analytic geometry from him. I don’t remember much of that, but I remember him. He was the first person in my life to suggest that I consider education as a major in college and a career.
We all see why it’s important to choose wisely when selecting who to follow and who to learn from. It should be someone who knows a lot, a lot more than you. It should be someone who you would want to be like when you grow up. And it should be someone how can help you become all that God has created you to be.
Be careful about thinking you are the one who should help others. That log, that plank in your own eye could be a problem
Notice the difference between the size of the piece of wood in their eyes. Same substance, wood. But the plank represents a major problem in that area versus the speck that is only a minor problem.
Be careful about trying to help anyone else w/ a minor problem if you have a major problem in the same area.
Again, Jesus talking to the disciples, believers, directly. And indirectly referring to the Pharisees who were right there. They had major self-righteous and arrogance problems. They were blind to the issues they had. Maybe, it was b/c the planks in their prevented them from seeing the real problem.
Jesus was saying, don’t be like them. Be like Him. Let Jesus be your leader, teacher, and guide in helping each other deal w/ the minor issues we all deal w/.
To be like this, to have the qualities, characteristics, practices in your life requires some maturity.
To be able to be okay w/ everyone around you requires you being okay w/ yourself.
Too often, we judge, not b/c we’re so concerned w/ the behavior of someone else, we can’t process our own bad behavior. That plank is in the way.
In a sadistic sort of way, we can think that holding someone else down will somehow lift us up.
Condemning them, will free us.
In fact, it does the opposite. It binds us up.
Forgiving ppl is freeing. Letting things go is beneficial to our emotional health. And, generosity is empowering. We all have a lot of something. Maybe no money. But empathy, encouragement, time, skills, something.
Getting blessed by God in return and in the same quantity we give to others is even more deeply satisfying in life than we could find on our own.
This is where Jesus will lead us. Already saved, now, how do we live. How do we get the most, the best out of this life? How do we get the deepest satisfaction we can? By giving as much of ourselves as we can.
This life is hard. Heaven is great. But it can be the best it can be when we are the best we can be. And, that’s where Jesus will lead us when we follow Him.
Applications
Applications
Don’ts & Dos
Don’ts & Dos
Call a sin a sin. Help your friends be accountable.
But, don’t write anybody off. Be encouraging and help the ppl who need it to get closer to Jesus. He can handle what needs to change.
Forgive generously. Let God handle the get-even.
Is there someone you need to release from your imagined control of holding a grudge and holding them down?
Let them go and let God handle it from here.
Blind spots
Blind spots
Can you acknowledge you have your blind spots. Leading yourself may not be your best move. Following another blind person certainly is not.
Follow Jesus. How?
Study Him. Learn from Him. Pay attention. Listen. Apply the lessons. Grow.
What are you taking from this lesson?
Planks & Specks
Planks & Specks
Are you spending too much time pointing out the specks in others’ eyes and not enough dealing with the plank in yours?
We are here to help each other w/ our minor issues. A major issue might need professional help, a counselor.
But we can’t help each other stop drinking if we drink too much. We can’t help each other get to know Jesus better if we’re not in a Bible study.
Take care of your own planks. That might clear up some of your own blind spots.
We’ve all got specks. And we all could use a little encouragement to take care of them.
So, encourage each other on our minor issues.
Is there something you need to address about yourself today? Don’t wait another day.
This is not ‘how to get to heaven.’ This is how to live your life and get the best out of it until you get to heaven.
Heaven is going to be great. This life is hard. So, to get the best out of it, apply these fundamentals, lifestyle characteristics, and you’ll get the most and best out of this life while you’re here.