God's Design for Marriage
Genesis: The Foundation of Biblical Doctrines • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Intro
Intro
Text - Genesis 2.18
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
Title - God’s Design For Marriage
Series - Genesis: The Foundation of Biblical Doctrines
Background
Background
Modern reasons for marriage -
personal fulfilment
personal needs
by necessity
for convenience
Biblical reasons for marriage -
fulfill God’s purpose in one’s life
“It is not good for the man to be alone...”
“It is not good for the man to be alone...”
Being “alone” is not the same as being “lonely”
alone - being by yourself
lonely - longing for companionship
Marriage is not a cure for loneliness
a lonely person should find his/her fulness in God
there are other ways to cure loneliness without having to carry such a huge responsibility as a family
It is not good for man to be alone because…
The man cannot fulfill God’s mandate alone
he will need a wife to fulfill the mandate - “be fruitful and multiply, fill ther earth and have dominion over all creation...”
28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Adam’s mandate
fill the earth - propagate the humankind all over the world
subdue the earth - make it subservient and subordinate to you
rule the earth - have dominion, exercise authority over all living things
What is your mandate from God?
what has God called you to do?
Therefore, marriage is intended to help man fulfill his purpose from God, not to cure his loneliness.
Find your fulfillment in God
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I will not be in need.
Find your life’s purpose in God
your purpose will determine whether you will need a spouse or not
“I will make him a helper suitable for him”
“I will make him a helper suitable for him”
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
helper - Heb. ezer, a person who contributes to the fulfillment of a need or a furtherance of a purpose
suitable - Heb. neged, likeness, similarity in appearance, character or nature.
translated - comparable, fit, right, complement, corresponding
A spouse should be who contributes to the fulfilment of your purpose (mandate from God)
not who will pull you down, be a burden to you all your life
not one who will draw you away from God
A spouse should be one with whom you share many similarities
your nature and character should reflect in your chosen spouse
A spouse should be one who will fit in your life’s mission.
some things are more important than others
God made a woman and brought her to the man
God made a woman and brought her to the man
19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.
20 The man gave names to all the livestock, and to the birds of the sky, and to every animal of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.
21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.
22 And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.
Note - there was no actual “operation” here
The suitable helper was in the man all along
NOT something that is lacking in the man
The suitable helper was a female - a woman!
marriage is between one man and one woman
anything other than this is perversion and not from God
The woman was the expression of what the man needs so that he can fulfill his mandate.
7 For a man should not have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.
8 For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man;
9 for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.
Examples -
a prayerful man will be attracted to a prayer woman
a man who loves to share God’s word will enjoy the company a woman who loves to share God’s word
The suitable helper was “fashioned” by God
find a person whose life has been touched by the power of God!
Don’t look for relationship outside of the presence of God
don’t look for a man/woman that you have to drag into God’s presence! Many are already in there!
The suitable helper was “presented” to the man by his Father - God
In biblical marriages, parents were almost always involved
Abraham
Hamor - to his son Shechem who loved Dinah
Laban - for her daughters
Naomi - for Ruth
Manoah - for Samson
Even in the N.T. Paul advocates parental consent -
36 But if anyone thinks that he is acting dishonorably toward his virgin, if she is past her youth and it ought to be so, let him do what he wishes, he is not sinning; let them marry.
37 But the one who stands firm in his heart, if he is not under constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin, he will do well.
Parents should actively participate in their children’s choosing of a life partner.
whether we like it or not, the kids will make decisions based on ‘someone’s’ advise -why not the parents?
give advice, but respect their decisions
look for prospects, show them what’s good and not good for them
The young man/woman should seek the advise and wisdom of his/her parents
tell them your prospects
Note -
I don’t advocate arranged marriage
I don’t advocate pairing of children, esp when they are too young
the right time to get involved is when your kids begin to experience attraction to the opposite sex
Man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife
Man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife
23 Then the man said, “At last this is bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called ‘woman,’ Because she was taken out of man.”
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
25 And the man and his wife were both naked, but they were not ashamed.
“bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh”
the person before him is a manifestation of everything that he desires
"one flesh”
physical union
16 Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.”
marriage should come first then sex
Marriage is for a lifetime
God hates divorce
15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
16 “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”
1 When Jesus had finished these words, He left Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan;
2 and large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there.
3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?”
4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”
7 They said to Him, “Why, then, did Moses command to give HER a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Conclusion
Conclusion
In teaching the biblical design for marriage -
we are not ignoring present realities
most men are women today have dysfunctional backgrounds
most of us have personal needs
we want to live as biblical as possible
our past experiences do not validate the present realities
our past experiences should not come in the way of pursuing the biblical pattern
we want to lay down biblical guidelines for the next generation
so they will not have to go through our own failures, or suffer the same problems
My son, eat honey, for it is good;
Yes, the honey from the comb is sweet to your taste;
Know that wisdom is the same for your soul;
If you find it, then there will be a future,
And your hope will not be cut off.
10 “For this is what the Lord says: ‘When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
so they can have a good headstart in life
it is alway better to begin right, than to have to right the wrong later
prevention is better than cure
so they can be more focused on God’s plans for their lives, and not on their personal needs
we want the best for our children!
God’s way is always the best way
God’s design is always the best design
SONG - Be It Unto Me According to Your Word