Disciplining Our Kids
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Discipleship Part 2 – Disciple Your Children
Goal: As disciples of Christ, we must disciple our children and what Bible teaches regarding raising our children
Introduction
· I was 4 years old: I had a particularly high IQ for my age. Hammer, blamed brother.
· I’m 15 years old – My IQ continued to flourish. 1stcar I destroyed.
· Long career
Parenting is not easy
· 1st child: “ Are you sure if we should leave the hospital?” A “now what?” thoughts.
· 2nd, 3rd, or 4thChild (Put in back of pick-up truck)
· My opinion: Parenting is the hardest job we ever do but also the most important as well.
· From my experience, it’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever have.
· As parents, we have a great responsibility.
· We also go through a wave of emotions.
· We lovethem, worry about them, comfort them, disciplinethem, want to controlthem, protect them, and feel their pain when they are hurt (both physically and emotionally,
As parents, we have many challenges
· It seems like we are constantly asking ourselves, “What is the best way to raise my kids?” or “Am I doing it right?"
· We may even have a whole bookshelf of resources on how to raise our children.
· What’s funny is that some of these books contradict each other.
· Sometimes in we feel judged by others, can’t control your kids, you’re not raising them right.
· And let’s not forget that our own parents aren’t shy to say how we should raise our kids?
Some of our challenges are external
· Our parenting can be influenced by the world.
· Worldtries to tell us how we should raise our children. We can’t spankthem.
· We can’t hinder their freedom, they get to make own decisions, be their own person.
· Why in the world would we do that?
· Who knows what that would lead to.
· Wouldn’t they often make the wrong decision?
· “CHILDREN HAVE RIGHTS?” I don’t think so. They have the right to honor and obey us.
· Anyway, what the world says about raising kids seems to be always changing based on what the current culture and worldviews are at that time.
Our children’s behavior also present challenges
· 1st time I heard, “I brought you into this world, I can take you out.”
· Thought it was funny until I witnessed the birth of my son. Didn’t look like a pleasant experience to say the least.
· Now I think this becomes a viable option for mothers.
· Look at my son and say, “You better watch yourself, she just may be serious. Don’t you remember what she went through having you? You were there.”
· Remember those terrible 2’s or the teenage years?
· You know, the times you look at your kid like they are possessed by some demon?
· It seems we are always begging them to eat, to go to bed, do chores, do their homework.
· In the course of one day we will laugh and smile then we’re pulling your hair out wanting to ring their neck.
· To add to the difficultly; even when they need discipline, many of us aren’t sure of how to discipline.
· Sometimes we even fear discipling them – What if they don’t love me
Parenting is tough, a great responsibility
Have you ever wished these kids came with an instruction manuel?
· Well, thankfully they do, the Bible.
Last week
· Began 2ndfoundational function-gather to disciple
· We learned that before we can be a disciple for others, to help them mature in the faith and their walk with Christ, we must first be a committed and obedient disciple of Jesus.
Today, we are going to look at what the Bible has to say about our responsibilities for raising our children
· In other words, disciple our kids that they would have the opportunity to come into a saving faith in Jesus.
· It’s important to know that just because we are saved doesn’t mean they are. You can’t inherit salvation.
Thunder Basin values raising up the next generation of disciples.
· Sermon for everyone. For current parents, regardless of their kids age.
· It is for Grandparents. We play an important role in discipling not only our adult kids, but also for grandchildren.
· It is also for those who will be parents at some point in their lives.
Before we look, I want to establish 2 Biblical truths to build upon.
1. The 1st is the condition of our kids from birth
When we became parents, me included, we believe we have the most perfect kids. Little angels.
· NON-SENCE
· We have mini-sinners
· We see the proof of this. Do we have to teach our children how to lie, how to throw a temper tantrum on the floor of a grocery store?
· Just like us, our kids are born with the sin nature due to original sin we have inherited from Adam.
Genesis 8:21
The intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth.
Psalm 58:3-5
3 These wicked people are born sinners;
even from birth they have lied and gone their own way.
4 They spit venom like deadly snakes;
they are like cobras that refuse to listen,
5 ignoring the tunes of the snake charmers,
no matter how skillfully they play.
This is what we brought home from the hospital
2. 2nd is what we learn from:
Psalm 127:3
3 Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him.
· God has placed our kids into our lives for a just a few short years.
1 Peter 4:10
10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
· As children are a gift from God, we must be good stewards with them
So, Let’s look at our responsibilities as parents
Our main text comes from the book of proverbs
· Proverbs is what the Bible calls wisdom literature
· Proverbs teaches us that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. A right relationship with God.
· A running theme in the book of Proverbs show us 2 paths we can take. The path of wisdom and righteousness or the path of the fool and the wicked.
· They give us general truths to help us to live daily in Godliness.
Proverbs 22:6
6 Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Exegesis
· “Train” – To instruct or to teach
· “Way he should go” – To lead them to the path of wisdom and righteousness rather than the path of the fool and the wicked.
· “Will not depart from it” – Proverbs deal with general truths, the most likely results of living a Godly life rather than absolute truths, that the results are guaranteed.
· Building a Biblical foundation in a child’s life helps them live Godly lives when they are adults.
Train them in the way they should go, not would go.
· We can inferthat if we don’t train them in Godliness, most likely they wouldn’t choose to live this way.
· Our 2 texts already establishes the heart of a child, their sinful nature.
· Not only do we teach them right from wrong, but we also explain the reason for this distinction from what the Bible commands.
· As disciples of Christ is our duty to disciple our children, to be the primary teachers for our kids to follow the Lord.
Part of training our kids is to share miraculous works of God through Jesus Christ
Psalm 78:2-4
I will teach you hidden lessons from our past—
3 stories we have heard and known,
stories our ancestors handed down to us.
4 We will not hide these truths from our children;
we will tell the next generation
about the glorious deeds of the Lord,
about his power and his mighty wonders.
Our kids need to be taught God’s Word
· I would often spend time with him in the Bible. A children’s Bible when he was young and then the Bible itself when he was older.
· I would also look for ways to incorporate what the Bible teaches in everyday life.
· However, we can’t teach what we don’t know.
Colossians 3:16
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.
· We must be prayerfully reading and studying Scripture regularly, not only for our life in Christ, but also to teach our children.
Our kids need to be taught to obey the Lord
Deuteronomy 32:46-47
“Take to heart all the words by which I am warning you today, that you may command them to your children, that they may be careful to do all the words of this law.”
So, when, or how often should we be training them?
Deuteronomy 11:18-21
18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 20 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, 21 so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.
· Training our kids is a never ending, continuous process as they grow
A key component to training our kids is discipline
Hear are some ways I’ve tried when discipling my son.
· Does the tail wag the dog or the dog wag the tail? Do our kids dictate what they do?
· I’ve had long discussions and philosophical debates. Like he was 30. Feeling as if we had a deep meaningful discussion, he goes and does it again.
· I’ve been pulled into arguments and negotiations. “If you do this, I will give you…”
· I quickly learned that it’s ok to just say, “No you can’t, end of story”, “Stop”, “If you don’t … I will tan your hide…”
· Book of Hebrews speaks of God’s loving discipline
Hebrews 12:5-8 (God Speaking)
“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and don’t give up when he corrects you.
6 For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”
7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? 8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all.
· Just as God disciplines us because He loves us, we discipline our kids because of our love for them.
· Proverbs does not lack instruction on our authority to discipline our children.
· As we read these versus, pay attention to way to discipline and its results.
Proverbs 13:24
24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 19:18
18 Discipline your children while there is hope.
Otherwise you will ruin their lives.
Proverbs 22:15
15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
Proverbs 29:17
17 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind
and will make your heart glad.
Application
So how can we put into practice what we’ve learned today?
· I think we must answer this question in a very general way.
· All kids have different personalities and temperaments.
· Also, you as parents, know your kids inside and out, you are the ones who know the most effective ways to train them.
Training/discipling our kids to be disciples of Christ all starts with us, parents.
· Children’s and youth ministry are great resources to help parents disciple their kids.
· However, just as you probably don’t want the school raising your children, don’t leave it up to the church as the primary way of bringing up children who follow the Lord.
Now I certainly not a perfect parent. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes.
· And I don’t want to tell you how to train your kids to follow the Lord.
· But I can share with you a few things I have done with my son.
· I do my best to represent Jesus in what I do and say.
· We’re always teaching our kids, especially through our actions.
· It’s just a matter of what we are teaching them.
· I want to be an example for my son of what it looks like to be a disciple of Jesus.
· How I treat others, I read the Bible, pray with him.
· I take every opportunity, every circumstance in daily life that I can to and relate it to what Scripture teaches and commands us.
· I take the time to read the Bible with him. Children’s Bible when young and then the Bible when older.
· I made him go to church services and youth groups and explained why it’s important to go.
· I figured that if I made him go to school, I can certainly make him go to church.
· I wanted to establish this priority when he was young.
· I found that giving him the option to go or not, more often than not, he would choose not to go.
· Knowing this was part of my sermon, I talked with him as couple weeks ago and asked him how he feels now about making him go to church.
· I had to write down what he said because I wasn’t expecting the answer he gave.
· He said, “Honestly, I am very grateful that you gave me that opportunity.”
Here are some questions we should answer when it comes to raising our kids Biblically.
· Are we equipped to train them? Remember, we must be committed and obedient disciples of Jesus.
· Also remember we can’t teach what we don’t know. Personal Bible study is essential.
Quote from seminary professor Roland Martinson addressing being ill-equipped:
“The church’s role is to equip families to raise their children to become disciple’s of Christ. What we ought to do is let the kids drop their parents off at church, train the parents and send them back to their mission field, their home, to grow Christians.”
· Are we growing and maturing in our faith?
· Are we a role model for our kids, living life worthy of Christ?
· Is training our children to follow Jesus the priority over all else?
· Are we willing to go against our culture’s values and raise our kids according to God’s design?
Conclusion
What we’ve learned today seems awfully daunting
· As parents, we’ll experience all the difficulties and the joys raising our kids to one degree or another.
· We’ll have successes and failures.
· It’s even more difficult when our lives are so busy.
· It’s easy to forget or to make our Biblical responsibilities as parents less of a priority.
· It can also be overwhelming with everything we must do the prepare our kids to follow Jesus.
There is good news however
· Because of Christ’s work on the cross and has sent the Holy Spirit to empower us, we are fully equipped to raise our kids according to the Bible.
· As Christ sacrificed Himself on the cross for us, we sacrifice ourselves for our kids.
· Because Jesus lived the perfect life on earth, He is the perfect example for us and our kids to imitate. That we are empowered to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, worthy of the Gospel in which we were saved.
· Christ’s death on the cross gave us forgiveness of sin and a right relationship with God the Father becoming His children.
· So we have the ultimate parent, God our Father. We can’t even come close to loving anyone the way He loves us, and this includes our kids.
· He gives to us what we can never give our kids, eternal redemption and salvation.
· Let’s do everything in our power to mold them into the image of Jesus Christ.