Wisdom for your RELATIONSHIPS

Matt McCloghry

ESTABLISHED • Sermon • Submitted a year ago • Presented a year ago

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fathers day encouragement: Next week we wanna honor the Fathers - the dads - We need GREAT DADS in this generation! We love the FATHERS. and by making fathers day a big deal at Colonial we are PROPHETICALLY speaking into the life of the fathers. Bring Dad next weekened, Dads bring your whole family into Church itll ve a special day - WE HAVE A HUGE GIVEAWAY - and a GIFT for every dad.

Ok were in a SERIES on WISDOM:

****saw this meme / joke and thought it was funny

I wanted to go JOGGING but proverbs 28:1 says “the wicked run when no one is chasing them, so theres that”

**not exactly !!!!

Proverbs 18 ESV

1 Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. 2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. 3 When wickedness comes, contempt comes also, and with dishonor comes disgrace. 4 The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook. 5 It is not good to be partial to the wicked or to deprive the righteous of justice. 6 A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. 7 A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. 8 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body. 9 Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys. 10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe. 11 A rich man’s wealth is his strong city, and like a high wall in his imagination. 12 Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. 13 If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. 14 A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? 15 An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. 16 A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before the great. 17 The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him. 18 The lot puts an end to quarrels and decides between powerful contenders. 19 A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle. 20 From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips. 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. 23 The poor use entreaties, but the rich answer roughly. 24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

“Part 3 “wisdom for your relationships”

.....

Where we’ve come from:

ESTABLISHED: Biblical WISDOM that Builds my life

proverbs 24:3-4 “3 By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; 4 by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”

(the burden here is that you will see and or be awakened to the power of the available WISDOM that is here every day)

part 1Wisdom Builds the House

part 2Seven Blessings of Wisdom

part 3Wisdom for your MONEY

Today - WISDOM FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?

**wisdom is often found IN relationship - so there is that - But what if WISDOM applies to our relationships generally and is there instruction on how it applies to our relational WORLD.

wisdom in relationships: up, down & all around

How we can apply wisdom and do RELATIONSHIPS well. Everything you need is right here to be a person who has healthy relationships.

We live in a time where people think its NORMAL to have a world and a past that LITTERED with dead relationships, Wounded relationships and some OK ones.

listen to me: thats NOT Gods best for your life.

God doesn’t want you to LOOK across the spectrum of your life & for you to see strife, and devastation and dysfunction relationally.

Here is why: because he wants his children to be blessed and equipped to be a blessing.

Its not going to be perfect - but there is an abundance of wisdom available to us to be doing relationships well.

How it breaks down”

Wisdom for the family unit: Parents, Kids, Brothers, Sisters / The entire family unit is covered in Godly wisdom.

proverbs 29:3 “3 He who loves wisdom makes his father glad, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth.”

There is a wisdom for how to be a good son, a good daughter, how to be a great dad, how to be a great mom and even how to have strong family relationships and so on - for example - How to have healthy boundaries!

Wisdom for Marriage and Dating: There is wisdom for how you can honor God and live WISELY as a married person and a person who wants to get married. (i talked to a young guy this week - he used to be in our church and took a job in another part of the country and he is about to get married - im really excite for them and he asked me if i recommended anything for him going into his marriage: i said.... WISDOM - why? because WISDOM will

Wisdom for Friendships: There is WISDOM for the blessing that comes with friendships - WHO WANTS to be a GOOD FRIEND HERE>?

proverbs 27:9 “9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.”

Wisdom for Worskplace & Commercial or professional relationships (there is a difference here) when money gets involved things can get weird - am i right? there is wisdom for how to handle and how to represent God well, which is WISDOM, in those relationships as well/

Write this down: WISDOM & VALUE RUN TOGETHER

if your looking for Wisdom or Value you’ll often find them TOGETHER

Where there is WISDOM, There is VALUE.... if you FIND something has GREAT VALUE - you’ll probably find WISDOM is attached somewhere as well.

TWO WORDS I WANT YOU YO REMEMBER TODAY: WISDOM & VALUE!

**Wisdom is all about VALUE - its presented to us in scripture as being of VALUE - Preciious, More precioys - So Wisdom is all about VALUE / and thats how it works in relationships.

proverbs 3 alone is a great example of this - Wisdom and Value and attached

proverbs 3:13 Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, 14 for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. 15 She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. 16 Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.

So… with that in mind - 3 quick takeaways for us:

1.WISDOM SEEKS VALUE IN RELATIONSHIPS

WISDOM SEEKS TO EXTRACTS VALUE IN RELATIONSHIPS

/ Folly always diminishes and reduces value in relationships.

proverbs 18:22 “22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

a good thing / finds value.

It seeks the VALUE

Wisdom will encourage you to see the best in people!

Wisdom speaks this way to us about our relationships “I see value”

it doesnt say

“i see waste”

or i see trash

ONE OF THE BEST WAYS YOU CAN HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IS TO FIND THE VALUE.. and FOCUS ON THE VALUE

**whenever i have had issues with people. wisdom has taught me this: focus on the value.

They are a person, they are loved By God.. but they are actually AWESOME because of THIS!

WISDOM ALWAYS SEEKS VALUE OUT.

Find the VALUE and yOU’ll FIND WISDOM.

Bible Pro tip: #1 “Listen first, speak maybe”

proverbs 18:13 “13 If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”

2.WISDOM ADDS VALUE TO YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Wisdom will want to LEAVE that relationship better than when you FOUND it. This is the way GOD WORKS

Wisdom will try to direct you to build up that person and as you build up that person you strengthen that relationship.

WISDOM IS A BUILDER in all areas: Money, Relationships - All areas!

WORDS BUILD VALUE and WORDS TAKE VALUE AWAY

Words have massive impact

proverbs 18:20 “20 From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.”

proverbs 18:21 “21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

Do you understand the power of your words ability?

Proverbs 18:21 M:BCL

21 Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

They can cheer, they can encourage, they canAlso make people angry

Cause divisions.....Butterness

Words have the ability, the bible says, to cool the emotions and the anger of a person - They have a SOOTHING ability - Where does that come from - it comes from the WISDOM inside of a person to KNOW - here is my CHANCE to bring some value

THE FOUR DEEPEST NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIPS ARE THESE: KNOWING THESE IS WISDOM & BEING AWARE OF THESE AND LEANING INTO THESE WILL BUILD YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

**these are all a parralel or if you like secondary to what JESUS gives us in our relationship with HIM**

IDENTITY - This is me. and This relationship is me. I am more ME in my marriage than i am without my marriage: its not Matty anymore. Its MATTY and JILL. we are TOGETHER and its in OUR TOGETHERNESS i find my identity (outside of CHRIST).

and to whatever dergree that relationship is, up down all around, will have some level of identity embedded in it - SO THATS WHY ITS IMPORTANT, if someone is getting defenseive or they feel attacked - it may be that they feel “who they are” is being attacked. Wisdom wants to BUILD the value, BUILD the IDENTITY.

(parents - NOW MORE THAN EVER - you need to TELL your kids WHO THEY ARE

A child of the most high God, created and formed by HiM, LOVED BY CHRIST, filled and marked by the SPIRT of GOD

ACCEPTANCE - i want to be accepted nopnot just when i have it all together but when i dont have it all together, we all want acceptance / Wisdom says “ I love you for who you are, not what you do - i accept you”

Hebrews 13:5 “5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.””

Leave you is physical, Forsake you is emotional.

Thats why guys your wife needs you to be there for her physically and emotionally - not just ONE.

Wisdom says “i wont turn my heart away from you”.

SECURITY - In a troubled world. a deep need of relationship. Insecure rages

a womans greatest need a marriage to feel secure. But this is true of men also, we need to feel secure in our standing with our wives.

PURPOSE - There is purpose in your

Pro Tip 2: “Listen to heart not just the emotion.” - When you are in a relationship and you are maybe in a situation where things are heated, its a nmisunderstanding or whatever - Listen to the heart of the person - not just the emotion.

3.WISDOM PROTECTS VALUE IN RELATIONSHIPS

protect the best and watch what happens to the REST

Matthew 13:44 M:BCL

44 “God’s kingdom is like a treasure hidden in a field for years and then accidentally found by a trespasser. The finder is ecstatic—what a find!—and proceeds to sell everything he owns to raise money and buy that field.