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        8/30/09

Well, I am just sitting here at Starbucks, and I am

waiting for Maryann. Madison and I are enjoying

our mocha drinks, and skilling some time. I just

bought a case for my Tilt, so I need to have better

access to my phone. May Ann is getting her eye

brows plucked, and we have to be to church by

6 Pm, so we have about an hour or so before we need

to go. Tomorrow is the first day of school, some

will get some pictures beforehand. So, anyway, I

would like to get to bed at a decent time and are

able to get up around 6 an. Being that it is the

first day of school, I need to get there with some

time to spare. Early is on time. also, lots of other

things, like Madison eating after school and before

breakfast, and getting Shelby toe fixed, and lots of

other thump. I know that it is a must to get my

and completed. Hopefully there will not heavy boomed

cheeks, ms Fi, etc, that I would not want to come out.

anyway, I am feeling better now, then I did earlier.

I was sort of nauseous, but I know that the

more I Aid in God, and know that He is in

charge and sovereign overall thugs, the more

peace that I am able to have. so, anyway, I am

looking forward to tomorrow and the change of the

girls back into school. I thank God for all It is

blessings, provisions and grace. I pay for continued

blessing, and pray that God can use me as an effective

vessel to serve Him. in Jesus Name, Amen.

        9/3/09

well, I am just sitting here at Peets. 4 came down

to get some coffee. I am looby forward to today; there

is going to be lots of good and exciting things Aday.

It will be exciting for Tomme ilintoehs visit to

ponderosa His. and also to go to the Ice oreana

social amgth. It will be good to feellowshp

with the school staff and with the other dudent

threes. I know that it will be nice to share

and talk about how on summer has gone. also,

it will be nice to get to be able to go to sun splash

tomorrow. I think that shethp toe is healed enough

and he jumps around ability to get and go to where

she will be able to get back into soccer. also, I

am looking forward to aurand starting next week.

I know that I missed the first leader meeting, but

should be able to catch up and do the belile study

and verse tests for the kids. I know Madison

will be looking forward to me being in it, so,

anyway, I am going to get some reading done here

and be able to get caught up on my entendres, and

be able to check out my email, etc, to be able to

get abmps done today. I pray for Gods grace and

mug, and pray for His blessings, and ash

at 1 can be used as an effective instrument

for Him. I pray for the fruit of the spirit: tandus,

gentleness, peace, patience, long-suffering,

meehan, humility, self-control, lone, joy,

and peace. I ash for all this in Jesus

name, Amen.

        91.9109

Well, I am just setting here at cafe santoro. It is

nice to just get out of the house and enjoy time

together out in public. I feel a little under the

weather today. I am not sure what the sore

throat is, but throat lozenges and lots of Hzo

and autumn c are a big help. so, we just got

done at Hollywood Video. I got Rode Band "The

Beatles" and I know that the girls will enjoy

the game. also, we went to the soccer store

and got Madison some shorts, and also I got

a goalie shirt, so she could have something

good to wear for the gamero. so, anyway, it is

nie to spend time. with May ann alone, as

opposed to being ttmth the kids all the time.

I know that he got a lot done yesterday with

the laundry, lawns, and basic tstoughtenuy

up that we can talk and visit together.. I know

that we are busy, but it is also healthy to

keep healthy in our relationship, and not just

only talking about bells, wah, and parenting.

I know that the little time that we spend together

does really mahe all the difference. so, anyway,

I pray that we can used effectively to bring

glory and honor to God. I pay that we can use

the resources includes time, money, energy

to tug about Glay to God. I pay for Gods grace

and mercy, and I ash all of this in Jesus 1

name-Amen.

                9/10/09

        well, I am just sitting here at Starbuck in

common Pork. I just dropped off Madison and Skelly

off at school. They don't want to go to dayem today,

so they can come home and relax a little bit before

the AWANA. I know that they are both excited that

Maryann and I are dong it again. I know that it

sends a good message to the girls that we support

and are passionate about their spiritual growth

and then walk with chest. It isn't so much

about how much attention I get for the moh a

talents 1 or whatever I buy to church with me but

how I can glorify Christ, I know that being a leader

is having the opportunity to impact kids for chest.

I know that I can find lots of reasons to say why

I don't want to do it, but I know that keeping holy,

and being a living witness for chat both in and

out of chuchr is important. I know that right now

as we are going through the book of James, I am very

convicted in many ways of my own sens of partiality,

and different external factors of looby at people.

I know that as the Holy spirit connects me, I am able

to grow-in my sanctification, and daily mund-

renewal. I know that I can do all things through

christ who strengthens me. I pray that I can let

my light so shine that others can see my good

works and praise my father in 7 teaser. I pray for

the fruit of the spirit: kindness, Gentleness, peace,

Patience, Long-suffering, sore, Joy, self-control.

I pray this all in Jesus name. Amen.

                91/s/09

well, I am just sitting here in a starbuck. I am going

up to see Grandma this morning, so I thought I would

gone her time to sleep in and rest, and let some of my

coffee tuch i. It is good because, I need to get some

dumps done today. I feel oh, but i shouldn't have had

that second glass of wine last night. anyway, I can't

believe that A edem lost I thought he would win

another Grand slam, but the 20 p ofdf 616" took

him out. so, anyway, that is the end of the VSTA

for the year, I know that the build up and the

anticipation for the us open has been great, and

c. really would like to get into play again, I know

that my physique could indefinitely use it. so, anyway,

c. appreciate Grandma offering to help out and

guitar expenses are definitely high. I know that

it is something Madison really wanted. so, I will

try to catch up with Gail, to fix the computer,

e., or whatever she needs done. I pray for EDD

to continue if possible, get caught up in our

mortgage, PCs pay ed up, girls to do well, in

soccer, overall family weight-loss and heath,

peace at chruch with other believers, may otha

ship that are on my heart. I pray for Gods

grace and mercy, and pray that I can let my

light so shine, and others can see my good

works, and praise my Father in heaven, I pray

f. the Fund of the spurt: landman, Gentleness,

Peace, Patience, Long-suffering, Meehan, Humility, self

        control, lone, joy. all in Jesus Name-Amen.

                9/17/09

        well, I am just sitting here at starbuck, A Doratea Hills

d. just dropped the girls off and decided to come to this

stars budy, because I have not been here for a while.

g. I darted watching the soloist last night, but it

looked like a liberal agenda movie, so I decided

b. pass, so, any way, what a difference a day makes.

From a few days ago mih body aches, and popping

adrie • today, I definitely feel much better. so,

this is the second swans and I am excited, even

though I was hesitant at first, I know it means

a lot to Madison and-Shebby to see us in Arrows, as

examples. so, anyway, it will be good to help the

little toys and teaching them verses. I know it

seeps me focused on my own walk and heiny an

ambassador for chest myself. so, anyway, I know

the next few days will be busy with swans, then

soccer test, and early games, so I pray that

i. can home the stamina and pace myself. I know

that the girls are really eyoiyy school, and I would

e. to help Gail with the computers, but just gettig

v. there and iabwphy the classes is not my joy to

w. so, we will touch bases. I know that it will

he good to get pumped up for soccer on Friday. I Know

Madison will be darty goalie. so, anyway, shelter

toe in fathy off, so I home to see about treatment.

angry, I home lots on the plate, and I pray for

Gods grace and mercy; for the fruit of the spurt:

kindness, Gentleness, Peace, patience, Long-saffemj,

Joy, Lore, self-control ale in Jesus Naone, amen.

                9/23/09

well, I am just sitting here at starbuck, and I am

wanty for them to fix Many amis the, so I am down

here until I get a phone-call that it is ready, which

is good for me to get some stuff done, rather than

out there and spend a ton of money in the store, but

I did get some stuff at both samir club and Costco,

not to mention getty gas at arco. I feel much bette

after staley the fish oil this morning, it defended

makes a big difference in how I feel. I figure if

I take one pill in the morning, and one pill in

the evening of 900mg. that shadid be more than odeya

ate for me. I know that my body reacts to devot

ton and changes toomey medi so lahman that Keeping

consistent it the key, so I will be able to get back

on track, and feel better, also get more regular.

I know that the body is the temple of the holy

spirit, so Ahnj care of it, is a dewardship

of enfdahnj care of and being responsible for

what God has abated me with. That goes for

other areas of life including i diet, exercise.

abstinence from both sexual and alcohol in

abuses or deviation, and perversion, but ter

be content with what God has blessed me with.

so, anyway, this week we are celebrating Grandparents

day, and even though Grandma is 92, we can attend

be acknowledging her, and may amis parents,

if they want to game down from arnold in anyway

it will be nice if Joan does, with a smile on her

        face, alleast, for her to show that

she cares, not because I am aslnj, but because

she wants to, so, anyway, I know that getty a good

rights sleep is key. I will need to call Jacob Aught,

so I need to see if I can get a hold of him after

dinner some time. so, I will be able to attend the conform

a- this Saturday. I know that Madison will have a

game around 11:45, and I can't come, but Shely

will have a tye, which works out well, and also,

l can attend the conference, even though I said

that I couldn't at first. so, it was good to run

into Mike Giffin. I didn't realize that he was back

in the area, which, I guess he said that he was

n Pollock. so, anyway, Mary arm is sleeping still,

nd she probably mort want to get up for a while,

hat at least, getty her a chance to sleep is good. I an

elated to get more mouse pads. I-Beam sermon and the

Rob Morgan Dish I-s of hoops sermons, so I can

see how they are imported into the software. so anyway,

I am ney thankful son so many thp i Health, a home,

cars that dure, mikes opportunities, swann, PCs,

oc BC, webmaster, comp adu, Mary am worley,

Madison and shely's health, soccer, dame,

guitar, the doop, opportunities a coach, help out

with amana, helping Grandma, and her support,

rodi mud, Beta letty oppabthes, only with the

technology, dorton medicines, gord insurance, his

of educational opportunities, stennis, soccer, sports, exercise

and opportunities for work, financed help from the state,

and I pay for Gods grace in Jesus hang Amen.

                        9/27/09

        Well, I am just setting here at the counter at Grand

at home. so, after Fridays incident I am still here

e. Grandmas and Aging A heal and let time pass. I

know that the stupidity of not letting it go (Moon

and Bohart coming because Joan didn't apologize) blew

up in my face. The pride and broadcasting on my

part, even when may arm was trzy to make it right

was adaptable. I guess saying It should have"

i. an understatement. Right now, after just a few

days apart from Many ann Madison and Shely, show

how important my family really is to me, and how

unimportant all the other thugs are eg purchases,

little annoyances, bills and other thugs really are.

I know God is really testing me regal know and

the grace that was so abundant seems less

rustle. I am so thankful that at least Grandin

has let me stay here for a few days, and she

(Grandma is toby to Bill right now and Aging

to explain what is gory on. I know that I dott

rant to overstay my welcome and Grandma is being

so long. that I am grateful and thankful for that.

l know that benz proactive right now and not falling

into self-pity and depression is very important. The

exercise up the hill makes a good difference in how I

m fahij, I don't have much of an appellate at all.

- randma is the same way. I know that prayer and

me and healing are all very important. I called

MHN thu, 4 may omni work, and talked to an intake

                counselor and he (Scott) rfefaedmeout-

i. some counsellors in Cameron Park. I know that if

combined with that, May ann can set up some counselling

for us both. I think just like Yem said that Roan and

hot helping to clean up mel make a help toward keeping

the house presentable if cps comes begg. I know that

they can and will pursue this, and 0 well droll in my

sower thayn Gods grace to make charges that need

to be made, with my anger and fejhhg with may

ama, which doesn't buy glory to God, which is the

reason we are put here. The officer was dead on when

he said that my daughters are goya to grov up and

margy an abuser. I obviously would not want that.

l know that God will not be mocked and the

government does not bear the sword in main. I pay

for mercy, which is all I can do. I know that any

self-righteousness and my part, that is not chests

imputed, unearned, unmerited, undeserved righteousness

i. the only righteousness that I really have, and the

rest are just filthy rgsq. so I pay for healey aid

guidance. I am thankful that Pastor Jeng listened to my

shore call, and will pay with the elders in discretion.

I am thankful for so many tags: Benz failed ontcbteally),

Grandma letting me stay here, may ann talks to me last

agat, buzis the meds and clothes up, rob and Joan

Way out, may ann mahy an effort to get help,

Grace and meury. A pay for healy; getty any land of

joh, health and peace in the family, Madison and shellys

elfau, my own repentance, spread healy, loving

nd concern for another, I ask all this in Jesus name. Amon.

                        10/20/09

        well, I am just sitting here at Peto Coffee in A Dorado

Iii.. I just dropped the girls off at school. I am exiled

because I will be doing practice this week on my own

because coach Don will be away, so I will have

a plan, maybe with Madison helping out, well see,

maybe ashley man can help. so, I am glad that I

found this pen behind the chair, because I thought

e lost it, which would have been over $ too doan the

rain, which is good, that I didn't lose it. also, I

band my swiss any pen, another $ roo. D think it is

important to keep track of my belongings, and be up-

usable ivhout, being overly concerned with material

things. so, anyway, there is some low lying fog down

here today, which makes it cold outside weth sun higher

up the hill. sramyway, Mary Ann and I are doing.

better. I think that keeping the peace and keeping

focused on what we need to work on is absolutely

essential. I know that I need to work on controlling

my anger, and leaming to take time oats, and keep

tame on the tongue. also, keeping the home as

a relatively quiet place free of screaming and

outbursts, and filled with tone and peace and

safe bepace to raise the children, model a marriage

nd be a spiritual leader to my family. I know

hat we are still under the 30 day on arguments, or

verbal altercation agreement with El Dorado county

- PS, and Praise God they dropped the case at the

)-A.'s office, and the Bail had been paid. I know

                that thump could have very easily

gore south fast, so I am so grateful for Gods

grace and many. I know that not norbury and my

health issues are not an excuse to take out on those

that I love, so I can take steps to express my feelings

and deal with thugs in a biblically healthy way.

I know that truly, the ranger of man does not achieve

the righteousness of God. so, anyway, I appreciate

all the help from Grandma letty me stay and avoid

jail time, may ann taking me back, Pastor Jemp

prayer and concern and encouragement, pastor Phili

pager, books, the Tripp conference to equip thay am

and I in our Parents, Gods amending grace, Tims

encouragement, Billi understanding of May amis

and I hitting a "bump in the road", our mortgage

comp amys patience, PCs's patience I the D. As offve

noto prosecuting me and avoiding a year in jail, $ woo

dollar fine, permanent loss of my firearm, etc,

Bob and Barbara helpnj watch the kids, Bob and

Joan thyng to keep the peace, Joan helping A clean

up, Roh helping to deem up, intercessory prayer on

the part of our elders, tact and trust of sensate

information, Loris counsehij cps's patience, our

huch, friends, family, may arms patience to work

out on issues. I know that county my blessings is

so important Ron 8:28 albthnpworh together for good

even the thugs we dort want, and knowing God as complete

ly and sovereignty in control. I pay for Gods grace

and mercy and pay all of this in Jesus mame,

amen.

                        11/10/09

        Well, I am just sitting here at Peets coffee and

l just completed my bible tshudy, and organized my

Planning and solitude, and it has been a while since

l have youvraled, so I figure I can get some

journaling done honour. so, anyway, I got into an

argument last night mith May amn. It was about

her not wanting to do the beauty and the arts of the

R-c. sproul collection, and then I mentioned that

it wasn't very offutt, but she seemed so hostile

to any kind of bible study,-that to do Dust to Glory

or calvin Amazing Grace or even the adult Belle

explorers curriculum together would be even more

sfvshabiy to go through together. I know that the

Ephesians study could be a good thug, where we

would go through it Together and be able to enjoy a

relaxing time felloushipvy and reading Ephesians

which covers so much rich spiritual food, so any

way, I pray that God would soften her heart to

be at least open to some study together. so, I wed

• bed at about 7:30 Pm, so I got plenty of sleep

last night, so I know that yelling and getting

all up in a lathe, or trying to force my point dr

not do sampling i and coming back to what Lori said

about not using forms of coercion to try to get my

way are absolutely essential. I know that by cont

inning to work on the anger book, and on Wayne

mrachi biblical sliney interpersonal and marriage

problems. book, 1 can get more in tune with what

                1 need to do, to improve both myself

and Mays Ann and my relationship. so, I know-that

b. keeping my cool, I can allow maryam to think

about what she wants to do; I know that forcing

her to get overwhelmed with all of this abbed study

on top of work would be counterproductive, yet just

donya A News, not doing her daily bible study, and

reins her frustrated, moody, Mutable, obsessing

about money, the house, bills, and just worrying

i. not hasty in God. Matt 6:22. so, anyway, I know

that not being loohj at the speech in my brothers for sister

ze) and the log in my own, so I know that "forcing"

may ann, are opposed to presenting a study as sosnetby

that she can benefit from would be more beneficial,

and the girls can see us reiterating in an hooraying way,

and we wouldn't be arguing, if we are engaged in a

bible study, and focused on spntualothmp, because,

it would be a positive replacement of something good,

as opposed to leaving a vacuum for negativity to

return-son, Lord, I pay for Gods grace and may.

l pray for the fruit: of the sprite: kindness, gentleness,

Peace, Patience, Long-suffering, meekness, Hamlets,

self-control, Lone, joy; against such ahsing, there

is no law. I am being converted on I ca 1}, and seeing

how lach of love in fellowship is something that f.

need to work on. I pray fa a good veteran Day,

and for those who have served our county, and

I pay for Gods grae and mercy, and ask this all

in Iyesas precious name. Amen.

                11/12/09

well, I am just sitting here at coffee Republic

tour in 7 olson I decided to come down here to get

out of the house and clear my head, I have a parent

eacho conference with Madison and Shelby's teacher

f- 2:00, 2:20 today, so I would like to be aware

'how they are doing. anyway, it is nice to see the

lear air after the rain Today, and the nice clean

ii. outside. I know that coney here gives me an

Indiana Jones feel with all the Jungle theme and

lochs, old book e. so, anyway, I had a good

d- together with those guys pretty together the

software for the schools, to prevent ailor types

e crimes, and monitor behunin. I was a little

any orn from the night before, so it would be

vi. to take care of myself. I know that I ordered

the Portfolio Edition, because it was 25 % off,

and only available to the beta-testen and not to the

general population, so I will need to make room

for $180 / mr to come out. Hopefully, EDD will come

bachand the mortgage paperwork will go through

Lord, willy AH 860 per month. I know that I lot

the guy on the phone about 3N-3500 per paycho

for Many arm, but her pay chech average

at least 4000-Tsou-sometimes, which is asthma

off, so I think that the mortgage company wants to

establish that we are not able to pay, because of

ravine issues. If they determine that the credit is

bad, after the fact, I don't thh grey up on

        privacy on the credit scores, and

being reassessed based on iacunstanes, I think we

would definitely be able to take some credit coarsely

but to make the payments to our creditors is just

not possible, considers the fact that utilities, etc,

ost of brig and all the other thugs involved would

make it an undue hardship, plus I. dant thh that the

cash wants to lose $200 K because we are 90 days

late. so, anyway, I pray for guidance and patience,

ad diligence that we will secure the money from

mntgeg, complete all the necessary paperwork,

and compile a letter to our credits to state on

windows, and why we stluh we need a modified

hour lonna. I know that 25,000 customers here

bready been approved by them, so if eure follow

el the procedures and give them the information fade

in a timely fashion, we should be eligible, but pay

nd being wise on purchases is very important as

d. I know that alknj dam and doing a budget

nelli see if we can do it, but I do need to see the

breakdown. I pay for the fruit of the spirit: kindness,

Gerleman, peace, Patience, Long-suffering, Meehan,

Iemdtg, self control, Lone, Joey-against such

tamp there is no law. I know that I can do all

ehinpwthwyu chest who strengthens me and

my dependence on Him is so essential in all aspects

4 my life. I pay for Goals blessing i and I know

that it niall Grace, not earned, but richly gain

• me, an mioody serrant fs lane) of Christ,

I pay all this in His precious Name, Amen.

                11/18/09

well, I am just sitting here at Borders. I had a

sfficnlt session with Sri Today. she basically

compartmentalized oushvmty and said that may ann

vent need to read her Bibee and participating in

huch salinities is not important. I felt like thay

amn basically said my houseal is maccept-

b. and she said that I have not fulfilled my

fhgotim with job search, etc, and that I can't

w what I am doing very well, It was a boy 1 42

h session. hori basically showed her cohrs re-

authority and the whole feminist agenda. In

u duty, these people claim they can help but

nd up smithy gears and retracts. maya said it

as a safe place. she said she wasn't able to

onvey how she felt to me during the 2 weeks,

or her and 2mi In the feminist male trashy

the I can't get out of the house to get some

offer. But the fact of being there for the

d. dropping them off or picky them up, helpij

at with coady, chuh, website, job reach,

ad teng in p din the last 2 weeks means rotty

May ami has shared her feehjs, and she

wants me to never question ayihg her family

says and she wants to run the whole show.

aoui basically said I was the one arrested

and that I was the perpetrator, even though

e. did thh badly to May am, and she punched

one. 2mi basically doomed as because she

        said-chat me wile argue eventually

and the cops will come and take the lads. ton doesn't

edge that a house divided against itself cannot

land, and even though she said she helped

with a clinic with men and their anger issues, she

as well, as I know that foster parents can't

splane man s dad, nor can the state. It is

pathetic substitute compared to the family amt.

It is like May arm wants the best of all worlds,

yet tues to undermine my spiritual leadership in

he fomby, and pitts people against me. after buy

p her wntahhty, and how I don't want to engage

her, that I don't want to argue, and have the

police come, yet, she says that I dant validate

her feelings, and that even though her feelings are

devis non-cluster ihp-eg mrhihee study,

no mae church, an bible study groups, yet I

m a monger for samy that these could help. of cant

win, and she acts like I can't have an opinion about

to matter. I am yseat right man. I want to do the

ormsby, but I don't agree with Lori, that the

bible study doesn't matter, it is healy for the

soul. May ann is doubled, and I know that

feminism is anti-family. who will be there to pich

p the pieces. may am has bazut the state into

this demonized me, doesn't show intimacy with me,

nd basically is puvohj me, It is like she well

never be happy. who even asks about azonei spouted

walk. I want to comply, but not sell out my chittom

faith. I pay for Gods' direction and will be done, Amen.

                1413109

well, I am just sitting here at Borders cafe. we

went to Dimple Records to get cash back for the

DVDs and CDs that we owned. We got $ 66 bach

which is significantly more than I thought we would

get. It will help to pay for gas and basic esent.

wills this week, at least until Thursday. I know

that we have to get up really early tomminson

so we can take Many ann to work and then come

home to Daves Rent-a-car to get a rental for the

week, at least we have one car morhig which is

better than rocking. I know that we can make

it through the week, and a rental will help

many arm and her commute, I know that Keeping

a rental will alleviate getting other people to

have to help me out. anyway, we had a good mess.

age this morning on James 4:}-s. It was nice to

at convicted on my own desires and Gods remedy.

so, I received this lawsuit summons, more than

likely from Wells Fargo, which luill need to

repay, but I have to explain the delay, in

that I don't have a job or someone to borrow

money from. I just detest the way banks are

so ominous and unscrupulous. I know that they

got bailed out, but who is thadus out the

struggling consumer, homeowner. They don't

care if I don't have anything to pay back. I just

think it is ridiculous. we have all seen how the

banks have been bailed out, and how they are

        still suing people, regardless of

what the bank from the govt have been grv.

It is the opposite of Robin Hood. gild from the

soon to give to the inch. Where is the justice in all of

alvis. so, I pay for Gods grace and mercy and

for peace. It is so easy to get caught up with all

of the money issues, that do no good, but merely

take away from serving God in a mere God-glorify-

emj way. I know that not having a job has felt like

poverty and want have come upon me like an armed

man. I think that the least of my issues are

honing a title at church, but tahuya care of my

family, and managing my own household well.

I know that there are lots of thmp ganz on with

respect to debtors, and feeling the bondage, but

I also know that God through Christ has a light

yolk and is not a ruinous tash master, but loves

and cares for me as an adopted son into His

langdon. I know that the world loves to strangle

out all of this and take my jog away, but in

and thayn any estuation or circumstance that I

can bring glory to God and mahanna to Him, as He

haus mean to me, and my vertical relationship

with God is close, full of love and passes onto

horizontally to my fellow brother and sister

in chest and is a godly example and shining light

6 the unsaved. I prey-that Goals grace and peace

tells my soul, and that I can walk in light,

and I pray that I can bear much fruit for Him,

and ask for all of Godi blessings on me, and

pray this all in Jesus name, Amen.

        well, I am just asking here at Borders. 12/16/09

we just got done with a counselling session with

Lori. sri said that meany ann is depressed and need

to do or follow up with Barely because the Zyp vi.

addresses many arms sleep disturbance but not

u depression, I know that not warling intimacy is

not something I should take personably with all

that may am is going through, if her basic

eeds of security, rest and peace are not met. I

know that if she adds a new antidepressant to

help her out, will not necessarily make her "all

better" but it will help to lostant enjoying life

again, and not be so down and out. I hnofihat

there are many ways to get better biblically,

by latney to God, and confession of past sens,

but God is full of mercy, and gentle and

at swilley that any should perish. I know

that suffering is part of slife, but I know

that we can draw closer to God, soberly and

humbly accusing in His name, and He will give

> the desires of our heart, (new denies that

coifs Him) which is the chief aim of man.

co, anyway, I worked out pretty hard yesterday,

or l needed the rest last night, and I feel

the sore muscles in my chest today, so I know

that pway. myself and not overdoing it, but

doing a steady state workout, will not only

feel better mike immediate but will pay off in the

long-run. so, I know that I am going to be 40 on Sunday

                I know that it is an age of not 30, but,

feeling young, has a lot do with how I feel and

perrien thugs. I see active life still very much a

part of my life. I know that Keeping ochre, trusty

e. God, not feeling sorry for myself, and finely

the peace in God through Jesus chest as my Lord

nd Sanwi its most important. I know that I can

to all things through chest who strengthens me.

e pray for the fruit of the spot: Kindness, Gentlemen,

'eau, Patience, Long-suffering, machines, humility,

love, joy and self-control. against such ahnip there

is no law. I know that I am so thanhuf for so may

hip in my life.. A bone to lene in, carlo drive, an.

mployment exsternseon, play Ann norby, Madison

nd Shelby and the joy they bring to Meagan and

l, health. sleep, comfort, sports club and the

help urik the girls, church, fellowship muth other

relievers, website ministry, clarity of drought,

not in jail, medications that help, friendship with

in, others who care about me, Basketball league

to keep the girls busy, fun with cat and dogs, Bible,

sible study helps, resources to grow in my faith,

intercessory prayer, sermons that correct, fed in

sobs work, opportunities to serve and shine for

lust, merry, Providence chestand scholarship

and patience, Tax refund epps, second chance

on many parts of life, Mraz arms love and support,

heats with the family, peace of mundo, physicians

and medical people helps, sympathy are sharing

counsels with others, encouragement, edification and

underserved blessings, all in chests' Name, Amen.

                12/i>109

well, I am just sitting here at starbuck. I just bought

n (Phone, because it was on sale for 1999, which,

l saved shoo. so, anyway, I will give my ipod towel

to someone else, possibly, Madison, to use for study etc.

ear, I know that she is getty a B 5. so, she won't

men want it so, I can tell may amith at I can

acee my tilt on clay, to get some omary for it.

l also got and spent quite a bit today, 400 at costa

and sams, plus 'o/12 at olive tree, and '210049 at

s IT q $79 oo for the bill, and also lunch and

otcnhads. anyway, I know that we have to pay the

engine down and also come up with the mortgage

money by danway 1st. May arm meade 3400 t

the 950 from EDD, and another 950 cong

probably on Monday, and also we will need to be

able to get 9 so again next week, t the 900 or

so in VMR, if they got the Fat and also the

mail, and we are able to pay for gifts though

the holidays. I. know that otommow the 181 will

also come out, so tune to reign it m and self-control,

• walk in the spirit and not in the f.. I pay for

the funt of the spurt: Kindness, gentleness, peace,

nature, hpcffay imeehnen, humility, self-

control, love, joy-against such ahizs there is no

law. sr, anyway, I know that I had an argument

who Tim last night, and I said some thy that

l shouldn't have said. Inaba, I know that I don't

need A exim much from Tim. I don't need his

        greed gifts, but to be content with what

I home, and not be covetous of anythy that he has bat

• find ambntmd with what I home. I am glad

that was able to get my bible study in this morning,

and be able to get washed in Goals word, Ibmrr

that reading and latency both make a difference in

how I meditate, not only on the words, but the

emphasis and illuminate more Gods mad. so, Throw

that tommaso I am going to imdeotape Madison in the

guitar, so e pay That I am able to be there and

also, for sholty class, I know that I can let

des Iman that our engine went out, so we have to

pay for that, so anyway, I pay for Gods graue and mercy,

ad pay for peare. I am very excited about the

dustman party at the club tomorrow, so isam glad

6 be able to go see Arata. I know that getty bad

into shape, and getty down to around Zoo by 62

valentines Pay nill be a goal that I can attain. so,

anyway, I know that the rental council be helpful

if we need it, so I pray that we wisely conserve our

many. eventually after 3 xmotgag on time-an

approval from rationale of posstbe, tax-money

toward PCs and try to pay off creditors as much

• possible, in addition to hey wise, and maximize

in taxes as best we can, and not squanders our

time, money or energy is pivotal, and not hay caught

• with negatively, and managing my own household

well are all vital. I pay for Gods gracie and mey,

and I ask all of this. in Jesus precious name,

rd for His glory, amen.

                12/29/09

well, I am just sitting here at Borders cafe. we

last got dore at Soccer Goalie olivine and Madison

and shelly areme bach doing thew reading and staff,

so anyway, the ae suppose to come back and read

cheri books here. well, I tracked to Many annand

he is going to home the car until Thursday, so that

will be a big help, and I can wait at least natal

Monday before we have to use the rental car. so, I

led a little better muh my sinuses today. I know

that drinking lots of water and being able to use

the saline as opposed to using the high antihistamine

group is important and necessary, so I don't

buy out my nasal passages I hopbably can keep

sinus infection from mummy. I know that by

ranking lots of water, and breathing steam,

ad reducing the allergens, will help it outside

A- to mention honig an ienwommevlally clean house

and being healthy, and not letty all the polera,

canders and other things from accumulating in the

ruse. so, in addition to Aahvj care of myself,

bring the environment to be healthier, reducing the

Argus (dogs cats, vacuum, etc, the I dent other

dings, so along with taking care of myself, and other

issues, hopefully, it won't be chronic sinusitis

or rhinitis, or something else that would require

droids, or surgery, and could just be seasonal.

o, anyway, I know that we are going to have to deal more

with nation star in the coming days, and if in fact

        they did deny the claim, and are able to

get some type of reduction in the price she is

paying from $2,360-or down to $1860, enchant

panicky as. I tried to explain that Meany arms

take home is the whole first pay chech and we

don't have anything to live on for two weeks, while

makes it not affordable at it its current rate, so

I pay for mercy by the loan company.. anyway,

I think that letting them know that we have

car trouble and a $ 4,000 bill for a new engine will

also be setting ns back significantly meth not

only the repair hell, but also the car rental, and

other bills. I an glad Jan sent out the prayer

chain letter to help for intercession, and not

just keeping all our problems to ourselves. so,

anyway, I prey for Gods grace and merry, and

for His word. I am glad that the girls and I cann

spend time together this meeks. I know that they

are enjoying this week off, and I pray that we can

use it wisely. I would like them to purge their rooms

and be able to help out with de. shuttering, salihah

that it is vital to be able to get some tax deductions

by the end of the year ter maximize our refund, as

well as pay off PCs, and get an car engine

fixed. I know that I have to pick up my

fine arm and also felt out a response letter ter

wells' 7 argo, so I pay for Gods grace and

may, and for peace and grace, and I ask

for all of this in Jesus precious name and

for His glory, amen.

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