Carry Your Cross: The Responsiblity of Marriage
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Introduction
Introduction
Greeting
Greetings everyone, it has felt like its been a while since everyone is on vacaution or traveling but glad to be speaking tonight. Welcome if your new to hybrid church, we are honoured to have you join us for the service.
Purpose Series
Were currently in a is series was designed to directly address challenges the young adults are facing and equip them with the truth of Scripture to overcome. We felt that we as the pastoral team needed to encourage our people in the face of diffculty and challenge.
Vision for marraige
One challenge alot of young people face is navitagating marriage, the fear which sometimes lead to the delay of marriage. Today im teaching on The Calling of marriage and how God is calling many of us to carry that cross and to stop avoiding the responsiblity God is calling us to because of fear. I know for some its not the time and some dont want to be married but most of people do. Marriage is a blessing and i can testify to it its been over a year now and yes we had disagreements here and there and challeneges but 98 percentage of the time were extremely happy and filled with Joy. Its been the greatest thing i choose to do outisde of accepting christ. It made us more finicially stable, someone who is a wise cousceler, we have grown a lot alot together. I rememeber the first time she asked me if when we first started dating if i would die for her and i say no. But not its a maybe jk i would. I have grow madly in love with my wife. Its true when the scriptures say he who finds a wifes finds a good thing.
The Why
We live in a unquie time in human history, online porn addiction is among young adluts is high, People are getting married later the average age in canada now is 31 for men and 29 for women and familys are having less and less childern. I heard a static recently women when they hit there 30, 50 percentage are childless. The national post revealed a study Half of the women born in 1990 are childless at 30 years old for the first time, a U.K. study reveals. The reasons for women delaying parenthood vary, from wanting to focus on their careers, waiting to be more financially stable or deciding not to have children at all. The COVID-19 pandemic may have also played a part in prospective parents’ hesitancy to have children. What is happening is some men choose to marry younger women but women even if they they marry younger man. Having biological childern is still hard.
Transition
We are currently seeing a corrision of sex, marraige and family in the culture and i do think there linked in some ways but will the church model taking responsiblity for building there marraige and family with biblicial principles or will we become just another static in our current culture. This responsiblity lays at everyones feet who decides to get married if that is your desire to model to the world a biblicial and healthy marriage and build godly family.
Fear of Marriage
Fear of Marriage
Story my Family Marriage
Growing up i didnt meet my father until i was 7 and when i turned 7 my mother and father got back together in canada I remember how afriad i got when they fought or screamed at each other. How they were colded towards each other and i barely remember them happy. One evening, my mother decieded to leave to go to calgery and i remember feeling torn becuase my dad was in the car and my mom was waiting at the bus station. I had to decided which parent to go with and i remeber begging my father, i wanted to go with my mother and he said go and i run to the bus station to go to calgery with her. Now i know my parents werent governing there marraige with bibliical principles to govern there relationship and only i do believe if we apply biblicial principles to how marraige they lead to flourishing and happiness but for many fears i was afriad of commitment and afriad of marraige not conicousinessly but subconiciously. You delaying what you fear to face doenst make it go way but when we are equipped with truth fear dispays.
Fear of divorce
People fear divorce, so they rather not get into a commitment or they run at any fault a person displays but in a christinaity we arent allowed to dirvorce like the world dirvorces one another. Jesus address this issue becuase divorce was being issed by the men towards women and some schloars say as silly reasons like burning toast and that hurt women but jesus limits are grounds divorces to marraige unfaithful. The Apotle paul gives another reason which is if your abandoned by your spouse but outside of those reasons the bible doesnt give grounds for divorce, you might ask how about if someone is phyically abuse and the church supoorts phyiscal spearation. God hates divorce, The alter means something just like the vows measn the vows mean i will never leave you or sake you dealth due us part. The alter means something where we both are going to choose daily to die that is what a alter is for the worst parts of me and the worst part of you will have to go so that we can become more like christ. This gives people peace of mind and the only option forwards i growth with some exceptions.
Fear of Finicial stablity
People fear marriage, because they feel they dont have enough money for dating, wedding and even marriage. In marriage people tend to get wealthier and if you both a seeking God will God will provide for you.
Story of Wedding Provision
I literally was working part time in the church when i asked faith to marry me and i had no savings and we sat down and made a budget and it came to around 15,000 and we both were going to try to put 2000 dollars away and like 4 month there was a person who wanted to meet with me and go for a walk and after the walk he gave me evlople and the elvolpe it had 7,000 dollars. Half our budget was almost covered and we had the wedding pretty much debt free.
Story Jesus model faith & Responsiblity
In the gospel this story changed my life, where he prayers for provision for bread and we goes on to tell us that he command his disciples to not waste anything. Jesus didnt just belivev for provision he stewards what was given to him. I think faith and stewardship are super important skills for marraige and i would add to that content.
Contentment
i do think finding someone who isnt materalist is important becuase if what matters most to this individual is how much things we have, how big is our home, how new is our car and is never content and express thankfulness for what they have it doenst matter how matter how much money you make you will always feel finiciall unstable. inssecurity is more costly then contentment.
But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.
Transition
I dont want to just address the fears but from What biblicial principles lead to flourshiping marriage and if we are willing to put them into practice this should make us excited about marraige.
Principles for Marriage
Principles for Marriage
Shared Vision
One of the things i have learned that was important was to write down shared goals that get both of you excited about the future. Its can be finical goals, childern goals, ministry goals and extend family goals helath goals but when you share goals together you become a team and you will share the pain of defeats and celebrate your wins.
Story of basketball team
I played basketball for a big part of my life and i remember at try out i barely knew some of the memebers of the team and after a few touraments and games they guys who i lost with and won games with become brothers. If was simply becuase we were one team going after one goal. I think we need a one team mindset in marraige going after shared goals for the family, church, society and world. The makes marriage exciting.
Forgiveness and confession
Timothy keller says forgivness and repentance are the foundation of marraige and i could not agree more. What i have learned the true about successful marriage are that its not that there sin proof you can make them but there experts in repairation. Relationship peace can easily be broken but it can easly be repaired if you are willing to confess and forgive each other. If you are a pround person and dont like saying sorry you will make your home hell and if your bitter person who wont forgive and you keep no records of wrong when your spouse apoligizes you will also make your home hell. Who ever you choose to marry if you notice they dont never apoligize or hold unforgiveness. I would have a serious conversation with them bepfre you step into marriage.
Time & Transpareceny
There a pasaage in the old testament where they advise a new married man not to go to war but spend time with his wife. The principle is true for all couple you need to make time for one another. Time matters when it comes to building relationships. There is a healthy balance between fellowship and solitude but small intention moments like daily walks or conversations over dinner where you be share your honest thoughts, burderns, emotionals and plans with your wife or husband is so life giving.
Pray and find
The scriptures tell let he who finds a wife finds a good thing and the scriptures model this was example like isac servant where he prayed but he also search and looked for a wife. We live in a time where we dont have elders choosing for us a wife or servants going on our behalf but we have decided as a society that that responsblity will fall on every individual. That means we have to both pray and search and the issue i see is we have people who only pray and we have peope who only search and we have to be people who do both. I do encourage online dating. Majority of people now met online. Example betty met here husband, ben had a dream about a girl and a couple month later he met her online and sean met his wife online. There safe and there not kidnapped
Story of Sean
I was praying with him every day but we also taking his profile picture but he met a incredile women and they have a child and they are doing great and my point is online dating is normal except in the church and i still dont know why.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Call the worship team
i want to give space for God to speak into some of our fears
Pray for courage to step in faith and action