Nine Words
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· 1 viewWords have a powerful impact on our wellbeing. Not only what we say to each other but we say to ourselves.
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Transcript
Scripture Reading
Scripture Reading
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)
11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Opening Hymn 245 - More About Jesus
Closing Hymn 286 - Wonderful Words of Life
Introduction
Introduction
Watched Couples Therapy on BBC
I wanted to learn some approaches to my own counselling
I learnt:
That what you say is as important as how you say it.
Communicating love for someone requires risk.
Communication Isn’t Words Alone
Not What, but How
Not What, but How
When we communicate you need to take into consideration a number of things:
Eye Contact
This can mean different things in different cultures. For example in the West, eye contact is often seen in a positive sense, whereas in other cultures it could be viewed as an affront or disrespect. Context is evertything.
Body Posture
Research shows the importance of body language when we communicate. In fact research has shown that when children have a good body posture it improves their learning
Gestures
Gestures go with posture to lend strength to your self-expression. Accentuating your message with appropriate gestures can add emphasis, openness, and warmth. While gesturing is a culturally related behavior, a relaxed use of gestures can add depth or power to your messages— Psychology Today
Distance/Physical Contact
An area of great sensitivity is also distance/physical contact. Is it appropriate to the situation?
Communicating Love Requires Risk
Communicating Love Requires Risk
Luke 23:42 (ESV)
42 And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
The thief recognised that he was a criminal and unworthy.
He became vulnerable and took the risk of accepting Jesus not knowing if he would be accepted or not.
Communicating love is a risk (refer to couple where the woman couldn’t accept her partners love because she was afraid of being hurt).
Asking for what you want helps a person be vulnerable. It challenges our self-protective defenses because it forces us to turn to someone else to gratify our needs… Asking for what you want can be difficult because feelings of shame often accompany wanting or needing something from another person—Tamsen Firestone
The Last Day Church
The Last Day Church
Peter warns us that in the last days:
2 Peter 3:3 (ESV)
3 knowing this first of all, that scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires.
Definition of Scoffer
someone who laughs and speaks about a person or idea in a way that shows that they think that person or idea is stupid or silly—Cambridge Dictionary
In the last days what you say and how you say it will not go unnoticed:
Matthew 12:36–37 (ESV)
36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Encourage One Another
Encourage One Another
That’s why these words mean a lot to me as a pastor, as a husband and as a father:
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)
11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
I think this is probably the most important work for the church in the last days.
Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, “I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?” We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise—Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages
We will not win souls for the kingdom by doctrine alone. Our words must also reflect that we care and that we love the unlovable.
Proverbs 12:25 (ISV)
25 A person’s anxiety weighs down his heart,
but an appropriate word is encouraging.