Matthew 18, Part 3
Notes
Transcript
Restoring Fellowship
Restoring Fellowship
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.
20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
One of the hardest things (it seems) we can do is go to another person when they have hurt us or caused some harm against us. It seems we get mad or we are too scared to face them. Yet Jesus tells us, if someone does something against us - and notice this isn’t petty arguments, but sins - that we are to go to them. What is the motive we should go in? Restoration of the relationship with that brother or sister.
The reason for this is, any sin against a brother or a sister in Christ WILL bring division among the church membership. Some will be drawn to one side, others drawn to the other, and before long no one is speaking. Sinning against a brother is a matter of great concern to God. It is so serious that if the offending brother refuses to rectify the matter, he is to be severely disciplined. However, when dealing with discipline, two critical points are to be noted.
The sinning brother is a brother, a genuine believer. He sins against another brother. The breach is between two genuine believers who are in the church.
The trespass is a personal offense; that is, the wrong and harm are done against another person. A fellow Christian believer is injured, hurt, and damaged in some way.
Believe it or not, God wants peace - and especially among His people! Too often, though, pride and stubbornness get in the way of reconciliation and restoration. The disturbance caused by two offending brothers is so damaging that God lays down very specific steps as to how the matter is to be handled; and if the sinning brother refuses to be reconciled and to rectify the wrong, God says the disturbance is not to be tolerated any longer.
Let’s look closer at these verses:
Attempt Reconciliation
Attempt Reconciliation
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
What sin could be committed that would offend or trespass on a believer?
1. By their behavior and Christian liberty: doing that which is allowed but is offensive and misunderstood by a weaker brother.
⇒ offending his conscience ⇒ grieving his spirit ⇒ being a stumbling block ⇒ being a bad example
1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.
12 Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ.
2. By confronting them face to face.
⇒ insulting ⇒ abusing ⇒ humiliating ⇒ degrading
⇒ arguing ⇒ showing disrespect ⇒ showing bitterness ⇒ being angry ⇒ being hostile
3. By tearing him down behind his back.
⇒ talking about ⇒ lying ⇒ gossiping ⇒ murmuring
⇒ criticizing ⇒ spreading rumors
4. By encroaching on his rights or property.
⇒ deceiving ⇒ cheating ⇒ stealing ⇒ lying ⇒ envying ⇒ bypassing
The first step in correcting an offending brother is to attempt reconciliation. We do not wait on the offending brother to come to us. We are to go immediately to him. Jesus lays out the specific course of action we are to take.
Go to the brother alone and “tell him his fault.” This seems to indicate that he may not know that he has done wrong and offended us. If we do not go to him, he may never know or be able to correct his behavior. If he does know he has offended us and we do not approach him, then the breach remains, and the guilt of the sin continues. The division and damaging effects of the division can only grow and deepen.
Something else can happen: our own heart and mind can brood, be poisoned, become resentful, even bitter and grudging and revengeful. We desperately need to do all we can to resolve the matter. He is to be approached alone. We are not to share the matter with anyone else, nor are we to openly rebuke him. This only deepens and hardens the feelings and division, causing bitterness and hostility.
When a brother offends us, our response becomes critical to Christ. HOW we respond is as important as WHAT we are responding to. We can come humbly, soft spoken and gentle, wanting to reconcile, or we can come self-centered, vindictive, or retaliatory. So, this is one of those times where we absolutely need to pull out the old WWJD bracelet and self-examine ourself before we approach someone else.
Why does Jesus say to go alone first? Because it can be seen as ganging up on someone if we take a whole crowd. It can be viewed as “them against me” with a crowd. It puts them on the defensive!
Instead, we are told to bring the heart of Christ.
Wisdom for the offended brother. Human nature tends to react, brood, share the evil, and seek retaliation—whether simply withdrawing or attacking. Christ demands that we conquer the urges of the flesh to react and that we control the situation through the Spirit. We are to keep quiet and pray. Then we are to go to the brother and discuss the matter, seeking reconciliation. Simply put, we are to be spiritually minded.
Wisdom for the offending brother. Human nature avoids and is slow in admitting wrong. A humble, loving, and caring visit to seek reconciliation is an encouragement for a brother to confess, apologize, and be reconciled.
IF they will not listen, or are stubborn and will not reconcile, then we step it up to the second level. Go to the brother with witnesses. Some Christian brothers are stubborn; others are immature; still others are gripped by selfish and sinful motives and behavior. Therefore an offending brother may not be willing to be reconciled nor willing to admit his wrong. In such cases, one or two loving and wise brothers are to be taken with us to the offending brother. This act does several things.
It shows the brother that there is deep concern; a number of people do care and want to help.
It also shows that the offense is known by more than one or two people. At least several know.
It also provides objective and wise counsel between the two differing parties. Agreement and reconciliation are more likely to arise from this.
It helps to prevent bias, selfish reaction, and partial interest.
Could there ever be a time when this step should be taken until the brother has been approached alone? We are not to talk about or share a brother’s wrong with anyone else—not ever—not until we have sat down with him personally in the love of Christ. But, when there is the possibility of further harm (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) then it may be wise to bring another with you.
However, this step is to be taken if he persists in his divisiveness. But it is always to be done in a spirit of humility, love, care, and personal unworthiness.
If they still will not listen, then the matter is to be brought before the church.
Refusing to Reconcile
Refusing to Reconcile
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
The second step in correcting an offending brother is to discipline the brother. Christ discusses two points in dealing with the actual disciplining of an offending brother. The earthly discipline deals with the offending brother refusing to reconcile after the appeal by two or three believers, then the matter is to be carried to the church. Why would Christ say that personal offenses are to be taken before the church and made public? The offending brother has already refused two humble and loving appeals: the first appeal of the offended person, and the second appeal by one or two loving and wise witnesses. The offending brother’s refusal to be reconciled is a serious threat and danger. If the breach continues unresolved, it will cause more division and harm both within and without the church. Other lives will be seriously affected, both among the saved and the lost. The testimony of the church and of those involved in the division will be weakened, and the interest of the almost saved will be soured and dampened, perhaps extinguished. The tongues of the carnal believers and of the lost will be set aflame. A brother who trespasses against another brother and causes division within the church (and who refuses to be reconciled) commits a serious offense that affects many lives. Because of this, the matter has to be dealt with step by step. It cannot be ignored and left unresolved.
***** Taking a person’s behavior before the church, whether the church as a whole or some official committee of the church, is a very serious matter. It is as serious a matter as can be imagined. But what Christ is after must be kept in mind: Christ wants to keep the sin, division, and devastation from spreading and destroying the lives and testimonies of others.*****
Christ wants differences and divisiveness settled among His people and not by the world’s legal system of carnal or godless philosophies and arguments. The atmosphere of law settles nothing; it only produces more trouble and deeper feelings and rifts.
Christ wants every member to work and build, not destroy the church. The church exists for worship, fellowship, ministry, and witness. Harmony, peace, love, and purpose build the church; sin and divisiveness destroy the church. For this reason alone, divisiveness must not be allowed to prevail within the church. It has to be dealt with if the church is to remain the church and be the Lord’s.
Now, when should a personal matter and difference be taken before the church?
When we are absolutely sure that God does not want us to continue bearing the hurt and injury any longer as a learning experience. When we are absolutely sure that the Lord’s Spirit is leading us to share the matter of personal behavior. When we are ready to acknowledge our own failures and sinfulness and potential for failing. When we are gripped by a spirit of prayer, softness, tenderness, warmth, love, and humility. When we are gripped by the spirit of “bearing one another’s burdens”. When we are absolutely sure that we have followed the steps spelled out by Christ.
Note that heaven’s discipline of the divisive brother is the same as the earthly or church discipline. What does this mean? One thing is sure—it cannot mean that any man or any church has the power to forgive or not forgive sins. No man or church has the power to doom or save and set free a person.
What it probably means is this: when a brother chooses sin and refuses to be reconciled after the church reaches and reaches out after him, he is lost to the church. There is no relationship between him and the church. The church failed to reach him; therefore he is bound to the earth and to being treated as an outsider. Thus heaven—God Himself—will reckon him to be bound by sin as an outsider just as the church binds (reckons) him. Similarly, if he is ever reached by the church and “loosed” from the bondage of sin, heaven will reckon him loosed. God will receive him back as a redeemed brother, as an insider. Christ insists that a divisive brother be disciplined and treated as an outsider. (But we must always remember: this action is to be taken only after reconciliation has been attempted at least three times.)
We do this because divisiveness threatens survival. A body, an organization, even the church itself can stand only if it is unified and functioning in peace and harmony. Divisiveness threatens purity and character. The church is seen as corrupt and weak if such things as divisiveness and grumbling are allowed. Divisiveness threatens order and mission and ministry. Divisiveness can threaten and cause failure of any purpose, mission, or ministry. Disorder assures defeat and failure. Our goal is to humbly seek restoration, but discipline of a divisive brother is necessary in order to preserve the church and all that it stands for.
Bathe it in Prayer
Bathe it in Prayer
19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.
20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
The third step in correcting an offending brother is the essential step—to bathe the matter in prayer. The words, “Again, I say unto you,” stress the importance of this step. The matter must be bathed in prayer, but how we go about praying is critical. We must seek agreement (two of you agree) about the matter of correcting a brother. The matter of correction is an awesome responsibility. It is not to be left in the hands of a single person. There are always to be at least two persons involved. We must seek God’s will and approval, making sure correction is His will. No correction should ever be attempted that is not God’s will and is not according to the explicit statement of His Word. Any correction of an offending brother must demonstrate God’s love, compassion, and mercy. We must seek unity “in Jesus’ name,” not just human agreement, not just following human thoughts and rules governing discipline. The unity must be “in His name,” brought about by His Spirit and in accordance with the whole counsel of God’s Word (not just a section taken out of context or interpreted without considering all of God’s teaching about a matter).
If these steps are truly pursued, the Lord promises His presence in the decision made and in the correction of an offending brother and God will be there through the corrective period.