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What is the purpose of forgiveness?
Psychologists at the UC Berkley The Greater Good Science Center generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.
Notice that last line - regardless of whether they actually deserve forgiveness.
How Often Should We Forgive?
How Often Should We Forgive?
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Notice two things here, there is the heart or spirit of forgiveness and then there is the application of forgiveness. Peter wanted to know, in the application of forgiveness, is there a defined number of times one should be “forgiven” or is it limitless? He thought he was being generous in the heart or spirit of forgiveness by extending multiple chances to be forgiven. Lord, is seven times too many? To forgive a person seven times for having wronged someone is very generous, far more generous than what most do. But notice the response from Jesus.
Not JUST seven times, but seventy times seven - 490 times! But this is not the point Jesus is trying to make. We shouldn’t carry around a little black book with tick marks beside someone’s name and the number of times they have been forgiven so that when they reach 490 times we smack them.
What Jesus meant is seventy times seven, times seventy times seven—and on and on through eternity. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart, not of the mind. The mind will only keep a record of wrongs. A spirit of forgiveness does not measure and limit the number of times it will forgive. A spirit of forgiveness will tolerate being wronged and hurt time after time. Forgiveness is a thing of the spirit, a quality of the spirit. All spiritual things, substances and realities—such as love, mercy, grace, joy, forgiveness—cannot be measured or limited. They are by their very nature spiritual and not physical. Therefore, they are without measure or limit, so they are to be known and practiced without limit or measure. We are to experience and practice love at every opportunity. We are to experience and practice forgiveness at every opportunity. Forgiveness is a reality of the spirit; therefore it is to be a spirit of life. The spirit of forgiveness is to forgive seventy times seven—ad infinitum. Good human relationships are impossible without a forgiving spirit. Offending others is common to us all.
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
We are all sinful and we all offend—much too often. None of us walks perfectly or anywhere close to what he should. If we kept score, there would be little time to do anything else. To keep relationships healthy, we need to know at least four things.
An unforgiving spirit shows that a person is basically ill-natured, self-centered, and spiritually immature. Unforgiveness reveals that a person has not grown to be like Christ in his nature of understanding, compassion, and love.
Think of it in this manner…how many times do we think is reasonable for God to forgive us for OUR OWN sins? Now, apply that to brothers and sisters in the kingdom of God.
Receiving Forgiveness
Receiving Forgiveness
23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.
24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’
27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
The servant in this parable professes faith in God, but his profession is false. He is in the church walking among God’s people. In a desperate moment of dire need, God has met him and offered mercy and forgiveness, but he has not personally learned anything about God’s compassion and forgiveness.
God is the King in this parable, but He is a very unusual King. He is a King who rules justly as all kings should. But He is more. He is loving, compassionate, and forgiving; and He is even more than these. He is consumed with love and compassion—so much so that He forgives enormous debts, debts so enormous that they are inconceivable.
The King takes account of His servants. He takes account at varying times. An accounting is required at conversion and on those occasions when God leads us to evaluate our lives.
Notice the language in verse 24 when it came time to settle…the King had checked the ledgers, the receipts, and all that was owed and a debt was calculated. He brings before Him everyone…because all are found to be in debt. We are shown the huge debt of sin and service that we owe God and it is so huge, there is no way we could EVER pay it back. Millions of dollars…and the King was not happy. You see, He had placed us in a position of authority, to oversee what He had given to us (our life) and yet we mismanaged our life and it had caused astronomical losses (due to sin). Therefore, we sin and that sin put us into debt to God. The debt we owe is infinite, beyond anything we could ever repay because we are bankrupt before God. What do we have that is of ANY value to God? Nothing we have can or will pay our debt from sin.
I heard of a person who had gone to a Casino, and had made the determination they would only spend $20. So, they went to the Roulette table and placed a bid on red…and they won! The $20 just became $40. Thinking it had to be luck they tried again placing their bet on red, and won. $40 had just become $80. Now, thinking their luck would run out soon they changed their bet. Couldn’t hit red three times in a row, so lets place the bet on black. And, the marble rolled and rolled and rolled and when the wheel stopped…it was on red. The man had lost everything. Not only had he lost his initial $20, but he lost all the potential earnings he had made…$80. But Christian isn’t this the same with us when God gives us our life to live for Him, and we gamble with sin and come up broke? It not only impacts us, but everyone we have contact with, and everyone we COULD have impacted in our life.
Note that the man’s debts affected his family. His enslavement and loss would have meant their enslavement and loss. A man’s sins always affect both him and his family. When we see we are broken and in debt, we are caught! We know we owe! We may owe so much that not only ourselves, but our family will have to face the penalty of our sin. We cry out for mercy! Knowing the ONLY way we can find resolution is for the King to dismiss our debt. Our only hope is that God loves us enough that He will simply forgive our debt out of compassion and mercy. And He does. He extends love, mercy, and forgiveness. But what happens the MOMENT this person receives forgiveness??
Not Extending Forgiveness
Not Extending Forgiveness
28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’
29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’
30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.
32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’
34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.
35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
What in the world? You have just been forgiven a billion dollar debt, and you cannot forgive someone that owes you a penny? This man comes upon someone who owed him, someone that had offended him in some way. It was not a millionth of the debt owed by the unforgiving servant. The proportion was over 1 to 1,250,000—an enormous difference. This shows the enormous difference between our sin against a brother and our brother’s sin against us. When we really see this, an unforgiving spirit toward a brother is inexcusable. We can forgive anything.
But instead, the man attacked the debtor. He exercised his authority over him and demanded payment. He was angry. He was out of control. There was no need for this kind of behavior; it was inexcusable. Remember the king’s mercy to him. The king had not pressed charges against him; the king had even forgiven his debt. How we need to remember the love and forgiveness of God! God’s love and forgiveness need to become the controlling factors of all our relationships.
How quickly he had forgotten. How irrationally he had acted. He cried out for mercy, but now he rejects the cry for mercy. He begged for forgiveness, now he refuses to forgive. He acted selfishly and worldly, according to law and justice. The man really owed the servant. The debt was a just and legal debt. The servant had every right to demand and force payment. Such was justice, but again, remember the point Christ was making. The King, God, does not act toward us legally, executing justice. He has compassion and mercy upon us and forgives us, wiping out all our debts.
The question is, how often should we forgive our brother? “Seventy times seven,” Christ said. “Have compassion and mercy; do not demand justice. Do not execute the law against a man. Do not trample him underfoot. Do not act cruelly, swallowing him up and destroying his spirit. Love him and forgive him just like we are reminded in Ephesians 4:32.
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
This man had just gone through a frightening experience - one in which he and his family could have been taken away and placed into slavery. He owed. It was a true debt. But he received mercy and forgiveness of what was owed. When the shoe is on the other foot though…he did not extend the same mercy and forgiveness.
Wickedness and sin are primarily "falling short of the glory of God,” coming short of what God is. This is clearly illustrated by this wicked servant (church member). He was a just and lawful man. He was a high official in government and politics, serving directly under the king. He was well respected and honored, an outstanding citizen, but he was not like God. He was not compassionate and merciful, loving and forgiving in his dealings with others. There are two great commandments that a servant of the King must obey. This servant tried to obey the first one, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God.…”; but he ignored the second one, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Mt. 22:39). His life is not compassionate, merciful, and forgiving. Because of this, he shall face the judgment of the King and be condemned.
An unforgiving person shall be judged. The point is clear and critical. It is critical because it determines our eternal destiny. We must not only forgive, we must live a life of forgiveness and mercy. We must develop a nature of forgiveness and compassion and mercy and love toward others. The person who does not forgive others does not know the forgiveness of God.
There is a day somewhere in the future of every person which is the day we will cease to have physical life and we will be summonsed to stand before God and be judged. How will we be judged? Will we be like the forgiving King who showed kindness, mercy, and forgiveness? Or, will we be like the angry, wicked servant and judged instead for our harshness, our cruelty, and our lack of forgiveness?
Leadership Ministries Worldwide. 1996. Matthew: Chapters 16:13–28:20. Vol. II. The Preacher’s Outline & Sermon Bible. Chattanooga, TN: Leadership Ministries Worldwide.