The Reality Choice (3)
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When I did youth ministry, we would take kids to Chuck E Cheese. They had a game called Whack-a-mole. In WAM, moles pop up out of holes and you have to hammer them back down. But as soon as you slam one, another pops up. And on and on it goes.
The thing about this game and the reason it’s just evil, is that you cannot win. No matter how many you hammer down, more just keep comming up.
Whack-a-Mole is a metaphor for your life. Just about the time you have one problem whacked down, another will pop up. Have you ever noticed that?
Self help books will help you to whack faster, but they keep popping up. God’s word will teach you who to end the game with sin that controls you. GW will help you unplug so that the temptations no longer has any power in your life.
Survey -
Have you ever stayed up late when you knew you needed sleep?
Have you ever stayed up late and slept in church?
Have you ever eaten or drank extra calories that you knew you should not?
Have you ever made commitments you could not keep?
Have you ever known you should exercise, but you didn’t?
Have you ever known that you should be kind and unselfish but instead you were unkind and selfish?
Have you ever tried to take control of your life, a circumstance or another person and discovered that you couldn't?
If you said yes to any of those, Welcome to the human race. Even the Apostle Paul struggled with this.
I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.
And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.
Some commentators try to write this off as Paul talking about before he was saved. But that’s not the case. It’s in the middle of Romans and the verbs are all present tense which says, “I’m struggling with this now.”
Let’s take a quick inventory. Circle which of these things keep popping up in your life.
Stress Diet Finances
Fears Worry Relationships
My overwork Bad habits Painful memories
Attractions Anger Perfectionism
Addiction Dishonesty Resentment
Regrets Need to control Compulsive thoughts
If you circled any of those, you are in the right place at the right time to be able to begin to break free.
What’s the Cause? Playing God
What’s the Cause? Playing God
It’s the same root cause no matter what the problem. It’s playing God. When I try to act like I am God, and I make my choices myself instead of listening to what God tells me to do, I will have problems.
Our oldest temptation is to play God. It goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Satan tempted Eve and Adam with the fruit saying, “if you eat this, it will make you like God.” Satan never tempts you to be like him… no one wants to be like the devil. So he tempts you to do something that will make you like God.
God is God and we are not. It comes from the very beginning. It’s caused by our pride. Look at…
“Son of man, give the prince of Tyre this message from the Sovereign Lord: “In your great pride you claim, ‘I am a god! I sit on a divine throne in the heart of the sea.’ But you are only a man and not a god, though you boast that you are a god.
When do you think that you are as smart as God? … When God tells you to do something and you do not do it. Or… I know god says not to do this, but I’m going to do it anyway.
I know what will make me happy more than God does. I know God says no to sex outside of marriage, but I am going to do it anyway. I know God says to give Him the tithe, but I am going to do what I want to. I know God says… fill in the blank. Everytime you do this, you are telling God that youare smarter and wiser than he is.
That’s why Solomon said in Pro 29:23
Pride will ruin people, but those who are humble will be honored.
Some of you … us have had bad relationships. Have you ever thought about the common denominator in everyone of your bad relationships? It’s you. You are your own worst enemy. We are the main cause of most of our won problems.
What’s the cure? The cure is what we're going to look at for the next eight weeks. Over the next eight weeks we're going to look at the eight Beatitudes of Jesus, which are the first eight statements in the most famous sermon, ever gave.
In these statements within this famous sermon, Jesus says you will be blessed if you do this…
So Jesus says, I want you to have a blessed life. Now, most of us would not know a blessing if it hit us on the head. The word blessing is the Greek Word Makarismos It means Happy… to be supremely happy. So Jesus in his first sermon begins by saying, I want to share with you 8 ways to be happy.
The first beatitude is…
1st Choice: Healing Choice
1st Choice: Healing Choice
This is the first choice to getting rid of your habits and your hurts and your hangups. Look at what Jesus said…
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
No one gets into heaven on their own… pridefully. It’s all by GRACE.
Here is what it means to be poor and realize your need for Jesus. He is not talking about physical or financial poverty. He is talking about knowing that you cannot make it in this life without a relationship with Jesus. Look at this translation.
“Blessed are those who recognize they are spiritually helpless. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them.
That’s what Jesus is talking about… being spiritually helpless.
How do I cultivate a ‘Poor in Spirit’ attitude?
How do I cultivate a ‘Poor in Spirit’ attitude?
The Bible teaches us three ways.
1. I admit I need help
1. I admit I need help
I admit that I’m powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. Jesus said the truth will set you free, so we have to face the truth about ourselves.
The truth about the truth is that we don’’t like the truth… not when it comes to the truth about ourselves. We like the truth about other people, but not about ourselves. So we avoid it… fake it… Even though we know the truth will set us free, it will make us more miserable before it sets us free.
So we have to be willing to ask for help. Here is the good news. You can heal!
The bad news is that it takes humility. You have to humble yourself and ask God for help.
And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Grace is the power you need to change. It will not happen by will power… that doesn’t work. How many diets have you started? exercise programs? Will power doesn’t work. You need the power of GRACE to succeed. The way to receive this grace is to humble yourself and admit you can’t do it and ask for help.
Four Facts we need to admit:
Four Facts we need to admit:
1. I am broken
1. I am broken
We live in a broken world where everything in it including us is broken.
Meanwhile, creation is confused, but not because it wants to be confused. God made it this way in the hope
Creation is frustrated and confused and longing for God to make things right again. It seems like everyone is confused these days. We have confused addictions, confused attitudes, people trying to be someone else, older people trying to be younger and younger people trying to be older, women trying to be men and men trying to be women.
No… Be who God made you to be. People’s identities are confused because we live in a broken world.
You've been broken by sins you've done and you've been broken by sins done to you. You've been broken by choices and you have been broken by circumstances. So it really doesn't matter. But the fact is we're all in the same boat. Nobody is perfect. I'm broken. That takes humility to admit that.
2. My secrets make me sick
2. My secrets make me sick
When David held in his secrets…
When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude
When he led in his secrets, he got sick.
If you're tired all the time and you're frustrated all the time, and you've got all these problems, guess what? You need to look at what you are holding inside. What are you hiding? Your secrets make you sick. When you get them out, when you’re honest and open and humble you get a whole lot better.
Hiding never works. When you hide a sin it increases, it gets worse in your life. Not better. "I don't want anybody to know this," and it becomes a compulsion and you've got to do it again and again and again. The more you hide it the more it increases. When you hide a fear it intensifies and the fear gets worse and worse and worse. When you hide a hurt, a memory, it imprints it on your mind and it gets stronger and stronger and stronger. Hiding a hurt, a sin, a fear never works. It only intensifies it in your life.
So, let me ask you a very important question. What are you pretending isn't a problem?
Here is another thing we have to be honest about.
3. I must admit it to to defeat it.
3. I must admit it to to defeat it.
I can't work on the sins in my life until I admit the sins in my life. I can't work on the hang-upsin my life until I admit the hang-ups in my life. I can't work on the fears in my life until I admit the fears in my life. I must admit it to defeat it.
You will never succeed in life if you try to hide your sins. Confess them and give them up; then God will show mercy to you.
We waste an enormous amount of energy hiding our hurts, our faults, our hang-ups. All that energy you use to pretend that you're somebody that you're not and to hide your weaknesses and your faults from other people, it drains your life and it's why you're tired all the time. If you didn't have to hide anything - you were open and authentic - you'd have a whole lot more energy for the good stuff. I am broken.
My secrets keep me sick. I can't defeat it until I admit it.
4. My pride and fear keep me stuck
4. My pride and fear keep me stuck
This is as old as mankind itself. After he sinned, look at what Adam said…
The man answered, “I heard you walking in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.”
Later in the new testament in the parable of the talents…
so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’
A lot of you are doing that. It is pride - I don't want anybody to know my weaknesses. And it's fear - I'm scared to death of my weaknesses. That keeps us from getting well, from getting healthy, from getting whole, from growing, from getting unstuck.
Some of you are old enough to remember that in the 1970s there was a very popular book called I’m Ok - You’re Ok. Anybody remember that book? I am not ok and you are not ok.
The truth is I'm not ok, you're not ok, but that's ok because God will make me ok. That's what Jesus came to do. If I'm ok, you're ok, imagine Jesus on the cross, arms outstretched bleeding to death saying, "If you're ok why am I up here? If you're ok, why am I dying on the cross for you?" You're not ok. I'm not ok. But that's ok. Because God's grace makes us ok.
I have learned a very important theological truth in cleaning out the refrigerator. Stuff doesn't have to stink for it to be rotten. Some vegetables when they go rotten they let you know it. Ever smelled a rotten potato? Oh baby! That stinks. A potato when it's rotten on the inside, it lets you know it. But an avocado can rot and it still looks ok on the outside and it doesn't smell. But they're both just as rotten.
Here's the point. Some of you think, "I don't need recovery because my rottenness doesn't stink." We think, just the smelly people need help. Just because your rottenness doesn't stink doesn't mean you're not rotten. There's stuff in you, you don't like. I'm not talking about what God doesn't like. I'm talking about stuff in your life you don't even like about you. You wish you could change it. You always do that and you wish you didn't do that. "I wish I could be more loving, more unselfish. I wish I didn't lose my temper so much. I wish I didn't have that compulsion. I wish I didn't have that fear. I wish I weren't so insecure."
The point is nobody's more broken than you and you're not more broken than anybody else. We're all in the same boat. You're as broken as everybody else and depravity is total.
Because of our pride and because of our fear we don't want to be honest about this. We don't want to admit our weaknesses. We don't want to admit our fears. We don't want to admit.
Because of our pride and fear we try to fix ourselves. Jeremiah says it this way. Jer 2:13
“For my people have done two evil things: They have abandoned me— the fountain of living water. And they have dug for themselves cracked cisterns that can hold no water at all!
Not only do we reject God, we make up our own plan to fix ourselves. And it doesn't hold water.
Isn't it amazing all the things that people will try to get their life together instead of God? They'll try astrology. Aromatherapy. Crystals. Reading your palm. Acupuncture. They'll go for fads and therapies and conferences and cults and tapes and motivational seminars and read books and believe the wackiest, stupidest ideas - try everything exceptGod. We build our own wells and the wells are cracked and won't hold water.
You can go on every good diet you know of and everything you can do but you can't solve a spiritual problem with a physical substance. You can't solve spiritual brokenness with a physical substance. Whether it's a pill or a drug or alcohol or television or pornography or anything else. It isn't going to relieve your pain ultimately. You cannot solve your spiritual problem with a physical substance.
So the first thing I have to do if I'm going to be poor in spirit is I must humbly admit I don't have it all together. Humbly admit I need help.
2. I need to ask God for help
2. I need to ask God for help
I admit I need help, then I ask God for it. I move from confession - I admit I need help - to petition - I need help! I'm asking God for help.
We felt we were doomed to die and saw how powerless we were to help ourselves; but that was good, for then we put everything into the hands of God, who alone could save us, for he can even raise the dead.
Paul was ready to give up. but then he put everything into the hands of God. You don't know God is all you need until God's all you've got. For then we put everything into the hands of God.
If God can raise a dead person he can raise a dead marriage. If God can raise a dead person he can raise a dead career. If God can raise a dead person he can raise a dead dream. If God can raise a dead person he can restore the love and romance in your marriage. God can do miracles. Anybody can bring good out of good. God can bring good out of bad. He specializes in turning crucifixions into resurrections.
Ask God for help.
Notice on that verse it says, "We couldn’t help ourselves; we put everything in the hands of God." Circle the word "everything." This is total surrender. It's not partial surrender like "Ok, my finances are in a mess so I'm going to give God my finances." No, you've got to give him all of your life. Or "My sex life is in a mess so I'm going to give him my sex life." No. You've got to give him all of your life. It's total surrender. You put everything in his hands.
Have you done this? Have you ever come to a point in your life you say, Everything in my life - the good, the bad, the ugly, the stinking', the rotten, the happy, the sad, the ups, the downs - I put it all in your hands. I put it all in your hands.
Don’t wait until you hit bottom. Don’t do this the hard way, use the easy way and ask God for help.
“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
We need to admit we need help and ask god for help.
3. I must accept help from other people
3. I must accept help from other people
This is the third way God wired us in such a way that we don't get well by ourselves. Let me be very blunt with you. You know that problem you'd like to get rid of in your life? That temptation? That defect, that fault, that fear, that worry, that loneliness, that whatever is in your life that messes you up? You're never going to get rid of it on your own. If you could you would but you can't so you won't. You're only going to get well when you're honest with others. Not just God but with others.
You say, "I don't want to do that. Why should I do that?" It humbles you and God gives grace to the humble. It is your pride that keeps you stuck.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
God wired us, as I said, that we need each other. Fifty-eight times in the New Testament it uses the phrase "one another" -- love one another, care for one another, help one another, encourage one another, pray for one another, support one another, counsel one another. We are to help each other out. That's why we have church. We are to help each other out. You were never meant to go through life as a Lone Ranger. You were never meant to go through it on your own. You were never meant to face your problems or your sins by yourself. We need each other. We have a longing for belonging. We're not just believers, we're belongers. We're to help each other out.
The fact is we need each other to be healthy. If you don't have anybody in your life that you can be totally, brutally honest with, you're not healthy. God wired us in such a way that we only get well in community. When you're going through a tough time you need other people around you.
Did you know that the Bible says that when a guy's going through a tough time and he's so upset he can't even believe in God, he still deserves to have friends. God says even when people don't believe in me, they still deserve to have friends who hang in there with them.
“One should be kind to a fainting friend, but you accuse me without any fear of the Almighty.
God says this. I put people on earth to help each other out. Even when a guy's going through a tragedy and goes, "I don't even believe in God right now! I'm so mad! I'm so angry. I'm so ticked off! I'm so upset! I'm in such a crisis! I feel so lost. I don't even believe in God." He still deserves friends who will be around him and say, "We believe in you. Don't worry about it. We'll believe in God for you. We're going to carry you through on our faith. We'll believe God for you and we’re going to pull you through this crisis."
God says that's real friendship. And he says pity the person who hasn't ever gotten into a group, gotten close to somebody; close enough to do that, to help each other out.
A guy had his iPhone out and the battery ran down so he plugged into his Macbook. He noticed it wasn’t charging so he opened it up and it started charging. It only had power when the book was opened.
When you sit in a Bible study with some folks, you get power.
James said,
Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous man has great power and wonderful results.
Admit and healed. If you want to be healed in your life that's the key. Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so you may be healed.
Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. It's based on that verse. The way you get well in life is by revealing your feeling.
Whenever someone says, “I’ve never said this before… or I have never told anyone this… They are on the way to healing. They have thrown open the closet door ad the boogey man came out and he wasn’t as big and bad as they thought. And then there is a sigh of relief. When you humble yourself, God will give you grace.
Sharing that fear, sharing that fault, sharing that difficulty, revealing your feelings is the beginning of healing
Sharing that fear, sharing that fault, sharing that difficulty, revealing your feelings is the beginning of healing
This is the hardest step for some of you because it really hits your pride. In other words "I don't mind telling God about my habit, but I'm not about to tell anybody else. I don't mind telling God because I know he already knows about my addiction, about my problem, about my fear. But I'm not about to tell anybody else."
If that’s what you do, you will be stuck the rest of your life because you will not get well on your own.
If all you want is to be forgiven, tell God. He will forgive you. But if you want to get well, you have to tell someone else. You don’t have to tell everyone, only a couple of people that you trust who will love you no matter what. Someone who will say, “Me too… Been there done that… Or I now it’s been tough…
I want you to have relief and release and freedom, but you will have to deal with your fears about honesty.
Here are three fears that keep you stuck.
Three fears that keep you stuck
Three fears that keep you stuck
1. Fear of your own emotions
1. Fear of your own emotions
It's a fear of if I deal with this issue, that memory, that event, that sin, that abuse, that accident, that hurt, that evil, wicked, mean, bad and nasty thing; if I actually face it I will not be able to handle my emotions. I won't be able to handle the grief. I won't be able to handle the shame. I won't be able to handle my own emotions. In fact I may just go crazy.
If you've ever felt, I'm going out of my mind, I'm going crazy - relax. If you've ever felt, I'm going crazy. If I dealt with that I would literally go crazy! You need to understand two things. Number one, every human being has had that fear. You're not so special. Everybody else has felt they were going crazy. Everybody else has felt at different times that they were losing their mind. So it's not a big deal. Everybody else has felt at different times in their life that they were losing their mind, the fear that they were losing their mind.
They also say that only rational people have that fear. So you're not crazy. Take a deep breath! Only rational people have that fear.
Crazy people aren't afraid of being crazy. So the very fact that you're afraid "I might go crazy" means you ain't doin' it. I want everybody to smile right now. Look at the person next to you and say I'm broken but I'm not crazy.
No, we're not crazy. We are broken. But that's ok. We're all in the same boat. And just knowing we're all in it together means I can quit pretending.
Everybody in this room has fears. Everybody in this room has insecurities. Everybody in this room wants to look good. Everybody in this room has habits they don't like. We're all in the same boat. You're broken but you're not crazy.
There's that fear of your own emotion
2. Fear of the reactions of others
2. Fear of the reactions of others
I'm afraid to be honest because you might reject me. You might dismiss me. You might think I'm less of a Christian. You might think I'm evil. You might abandon me and I've been there. I don't want to be honest because you might reject me and I don't like that. I'm afraid to tell you who I am because if I tell you who I am, I'm all I've got and if you don’t like it I'm up a creek. So I'm afraid of your rejection. I'm afraid of your disapproval. I'm afraid that you'll try to fix me.
You need to get over that fear.
3. The fear that being honest is useless
3. The fear that being honest is useless
What will it do? What's the point of it? Why tell anybody else about what I'm struggling with? Been there done that. Didn't help.
No, you didn't go there. You haven't ever really been totally honest, because if you had you'd already be released. The fact is God says, "Confess your faults one to another whereby you will be healed." That is a promise and God is not a liar. He is not a liar. You admit your faults to each other.
The truth is God has promised to help.
But Jesus' Beatitudes have nothing to offer you unless you've accepted Jesus and have faith in him.
"When we were unable to help ourselves, [which is right now] at the moment of our need, [which is right now] Christ died for us." It's the cross, the cross, the cross. Jesus came to give you grace and grace is the power to change. You've got to accept Christ into your life.
You may be thinking, my problem isn't that bad. Question: how bad does it have to get before you ask for help? One guy said, the acid of my pain finally ate through the wall of my denial. If you feel at the end of your rope, congratulations. Now is the time for change.
Wrap
What's unhealthy or out of balance in your life? What needs changing? I want to invite you right now to join the rest of us as we take these eight steps to getting healthy again. Would you take the first step today? It may be the hardest one. It means being honest and facing up to an issue that you've been afraid to face for a long, long time. I want to pray for you then you can follow me in a prayer.
Prayer -
Father, because not one of us is perfect, we all have areas in our lives that are unhealthy and out of balance. Some of these areas, Lord, are so painful that we can hardly even stand to think about them. I know, Lord, there are people here today who have struggled with shame and guilt and secrets and depression and low self-esteem. I know, Lord, there are others here that are in a marriage that's stuck or it's cold, grown cold and it's dying. Maybe they're even separated right now. There are many people here struggling with a habit, a secret sin, a hurt, and a fear of being out of control or the fear that they're losing their mind, going crazy. Lord, give them the courage to take the first step to health and help right now.
Now you pray. In your mind say, Dear God, I want to take the first step to getting healthy again today. I realize that I am not God. But I have often acted like I was. I've tried to control things. I'm sorry. I have done things that you've told me not to do. And I've not done things you've told me to do. I'm not going to run any more. Today I want to be poor in spirit. First, I humbly admit that I need your help. I don't want to hide my hurts or sins any more. I know that I'm helpless to control my tendency to do the wrong things that are unhealthy for me. I ask you to take the pieces of my unmanageable life and begin the process. I'm asking for help. Even more than that Lord, I'm asking that you give me the courage to accept help from others. I don't want to just be forgiven. I want to be healed. I want to get this behind me so that the rest of my life can be the best of my life. I know that Satan is going to throw all kinds of fears at me the next eight weeks. But help me to stick with this and change me. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen