A Home That Is Peaceful
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Matthew 5:9
We have been going through a series on the Truth about having a Blessed Home.
Each week has been very convicting for me.
But we all want to have a blessed home, but it takes some work to get there!
We saw that a blessed home is one that hungers for Righteousness.
We have seen that a blessed home is one that is merciful.
We learned last week that a blessed home is one that is pure.
Today we are focusing in on Verse 9 of Matthew chapter 5.
Where the Bible says,
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Let’s read that together!
How many here would like to have a peaceful home?
Everyone would.
But many homes today are characterized by conflict rather than peace.
I believe every family has that one person in it.
You know what I mean, that one trouble person- a difficult personality.
Don’t elbow the person next to you or look at them, but Raise your hand if you have that one family member that is the difficult personality.
If you didn’t raise your hand…I said every family has one…maybe you’re the one!
No, life is full of conflict, but what are we known as?
Are we instigating or perpetuating the conflict, or are we trying to make peace?
There are many challenging relationships.. I don’t know what that looks like for you...
Mom telling you how to raise your kids
Kids are always fighting
Teenagers believe their parents are too controlling.
Married in a blended family - yours, his and ours
Adults that still can’t forgive mom and dad
How can we have peace when we face these situations?
Jesus doesn’t tell us blessed are those who have peace…that would be pretty obvious.
No, he said blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
This word peacemaker is a compound Greek word, it comes from two Greek maker - Eirene - meaning peace - the opposite of ward and dissension - harmony, tranquility,
Maker - poieo - to make happen, to do, to produce
So there is a difference between peacemakers and peacekeepers.
I remember learning in my counselling training that peacekeepers avoid conflict to the keep the peace (let’s just get along, make a truce) — But a peacemaker embraces the conflict to make peace.
My pastor when we lived up in the mountains was an incredibly kind and gracious man, Pastor Bud Hennessy.
If he heard of a conflict in the church, or even the community, he was driven by something deep down inside him to go get the two parties, bring them together and work it out.
He was an introvert until there was a conflict.
A christian home is often a home where they know there shouldn’t be conflict…so we push it down, until it explodes....but a Christ-centered home embraces the conflict and works through them with the help of the Prince of Peace.
Remember our key thought?
We are not just a Christian Home - We are a Christ-Centered Home.
We have to do our part, and our home can be blessed.
It is important to understand that a Christ-centered home is not a conflict free home…we just deal with the conflict, like Christ tells us.
But the spirit of being a peacemaker is seen in later on in his sermon on the mount...
38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
It’s quite an ask that God is asking!
But never the less…as Christians, as disciples of Christ, we are called to bear our cross of acting the way that God expects us to act.
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
We are called to go the extra mile.
deal with the conflict
love our enemy
Don’t recompense (pay back) evil for evil
as much as lieth in you - as much as it depends on you…live peaceably with all men.
That includes our family members.
The disciples of Christ have a home that are peacemakers.
What do Peacemakers Do?
I. Tell the Truth in Love
I. Tell the Truth in Love
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
When there is a conflict we deal with it by telling the truth in love.
There have been times when I have gone to one of my kids and talked about some things that are uncomfortable.
There have been times when my wife, or even one of my kids have come to talk to me about something I did or said that hurt them.
We need to be willing, and have the courage to tell the truth in love
I learned some principles a while back that helps us to do this:
A. Approach at Non-Conflict Times
A. Approach at Non-Conflict Times
Don’t argue, don’t yell, don’t deal with it in the heat of the moment.
Wait until things have calmed down…wait until a non conflict time, then approach it.
1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
A spirit of meekness - this is strength under control.
Not in the heat of the moment, and not in fake patience
But a spirit of meekness
1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: But grievous words stir up anger.
James tells us
20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
If we act out of anger, nothing righteous will come from it.
So approach during non-conflict times.
B. Confront the Issue, Not the Person
B. Confront the Issue, Not the Person
15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Tell him his fault…the emphasis on the issue not the person.
If you confront, and attack the person, the defensive wall will go up!
Separate the people from the problem.
You’re always late
we need to be clear and agree on timing and stick to them so that we can be productive
I hate it when you do this...
When you do this it makes me feel frustrated.
You never listen to me
When you don’t listen to me I don’t feel like you value me
You always yell
When you yell I don’t feel safe
You are a liar
When you don’t tell the truth about insignificant things, it’s really hard to trust you.
Confront the issue not the Person
II. Apologize When Wrong
II. Apologize When Wrong
16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Be willing to admit it when you were wrong - Be quick to admit it when you are wrong.
There are a few principles here as well
A. Admit Specific Actions and Attitudes
A. Admit Specific Actions and Attitudes
Confess your faults one to another
Be specific
I shouldn’t have raised by voice will you forgive me?
I should have called when I knew I would be late, will you forgive me?
I interrupted you, will you forgive me?
I was insensitive because I didn’t think how that would make you feel. Will you forgive me?
Admit specific Actions and attitudes.
B. Don’t Make Excuses
B. Don’t Make Excuses
Don’t say I’m sorry, but you....
You made me do this....
I would have never yelled if you didn’t yell at me first.
I didn’t know that would bother you...
12 If thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not; Doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it? And he that keepeth thy soul, doth not he know it? And shall not he render to every man according to his works?
Don’t make an excuse…God knows the heart, he knows your deepest thoughts, you may fool your family member…although I doubt it.
12 Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool than of him.
13 The slothful man saith, There is a lion in the way; A lion is in the streets.
My pastor growing up used to say, Any excuse is as good as another! You might as well just tell them you have a quart of milk in the fridge. What? What does that matter…If I’m going to tell an excuse one is as good as any other.
Don’t excuse the behavior, just apologize, but...
C. Don’t Just Say Sorry
C. Don’t Just Say Sorry
Ask for their forgiveness.
The three hardest things to say in the English language
I was wrong
I am sorry
Worcestershire sauce
Admit you were wrong and ask forgiveness.
but don’t just say I’m sorry and go on.
Did you notice when I was talking about admitting specific actions and attitudes I always ended with …Will you forgive me?
I heard a pastor recently say that I’m sorry is for mistakes…Will you forgive me is for sin.
If you sin against a family member, you need to ask for forgiveness.
Stepping on your child’s favorite toy and breaking it is a mistake.
Yelling at the child saying, If you would pick up your toys that wouldn’t have happened.
That is a sin.
Buddy, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, What I said may have been a true statement, but how I said it was unloving…will you forgive me?
“I can’t apologize, they will not respect me.”
Wrong, that is a lie from Satan…if you don’t apologize they will not respect you!
Raise your hand if you have been hurt, betrayed - pray for them.
Peacemakers Tell the Truth in Love
Peacemakers Apologize When Wrong
Peacemakers...
III. Forgive and Let Go
III. Forgive and Let Go
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and evil speaking needs to be put away from you
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
forbearing - to bear with…have patience.
Even as Christ forgave you…so also do ye!
Then when you have forgiven…you need to let it Go.
Forgiveness is three commitments:
I commit to not dwell on it
I commit not to bring it up to use as a weapon.
I commit not to talk about with others.
If you are dwelling on it..you haven’t forgiven.
I just can’t forgive…no you are choosing not to forgive.
But you don’t know how I have been betrayed.
I have been betrayed by the closest friends.
I have had a friend who I confided in, who pretended to be my counsellor, then turned around and used the information against me in a business setting.
Some very private and personal details.
But I have chosen not to dwell on it.
When it comes to mind, I choose what to think about instead.
I don’t use it against them as a weapon.
I don’t talk about it with others.
I have been hurt by church members, people I have been trying to help.
My dad has told me many times, “You can only help people to the extent you are willing to be hurt by them.”
If you don’t dwell on it but you bring it up in a fight…you have not forgiven.
Your sin is just as bad as there’s!
The king said to the servant who was forgiven much but didn’t forgive someone much less… O thou wicked servant…I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant?
Jesus calls someone who is forgiven but refuses to forgive a wicked servant!
I don’t know what you have ahd to deal with.
Much of it is probably larger and more hurtful than anything I have dealt with.
But God understands.
And He tells us to forgive, just as He forgave you.
You will never be more like Christ than when you forgive someone that doesn’t deserve it.
None of us deserve forgiveness.
But we are called to be peacemakers
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
When someone strikes us on the cheek we turn the other cheek
When someone takes our coat, we give them our cloak also
We don’t quit, we don’t give up, we don’t leave!
We tell the truth in love
We apologize when we are wrong
We forgive and let go.
Let’s pray
How many will say, “I want to be a peacemaker in my home.”
Raise your hands
How many today in your family there is hurts, betrayal there is brokenness…you say, “Pastor please pray for my family.”
Raise your hands
PRAY FOR THEM
Courage to tell the truth in love
Strength to Apologize when Wrong
Strength to forgive and let go
Heal relationships