Untangled -living free from Unforgiveness
All I Needed I learned in Sunday School • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Good Morning,
WE are in sermon series in the Parables,entitled - “All I Needed, I learned in Sunday School”
The parables are Stories that Jesus told about what it looks like to be part of His Kingdom and how to put our faith into Action..
This morning we are looking at the Parable of the Unforgiving servant…
In this parable Jesus shows us how to live free from the in- tangle- ment of Unforgiveness —
OPPS
Apparently, Some of the smartest people in History have carried notebooks …
Beethoven - had “a conversation notebook” where he wrote his music and quotes.
The preacher D.L Moody carried a note book and was in the habit of writing down sermon ideas and illustrations.
Thomas Edison is said to have written down over 5 million pages of notes -
Today, innovators like Bill Gates and Richard Branson all carry note books -
WHY Do GREAT thinkers carry note books? -
The answer is simple
..Because it is easy to loose a thought or a great idea..
When we we write something down — we have a record … but at the same time it reinforces our memory..
Memory is a wonderful gift…but like most things --- our memories can work for us, or can work against us…
We can reinforce both the positives and the negatives....
Warren Weirsbe tells this story of man who kept a note book in his pocket..
and whenever someone offended him — He took out his book and made a note —
He wrote the persons name and the offense they commited…He kept a record of every hurt..
Now we may not have a physical notebook…we this internal blackbox called the heart… that takes note of everything.
The Heart has been called the “Seat of the soul” — It is like Grand Central Station of our person— it is where everything originates.. every thought, intention, emotion, or word spoken - - comes from the heart...
Proverbs 4.3 - Tells us to guard our hearts above all else, — it is the well spring of life...
The heart determines the course of our lives.
. In the Bible the Heart is compared to a Tablet or a note book..
In the OT, Israel got into this cycle of sin where they struggled to follow the law.. The kept of falling back into sin..
So God raised up Jeremiah and Ezekiel pointed forward to the New Covenant...
To a time when God laws would no longer be written on stone — but God would write his laws on the tablets of their hearts…
Paul used the same Metaphor..
When he defended his calling to the Religious leaders - He said that the church in Corinth were his letters of commendation. …not written with ink. But by the Spirit of the living God, not on tables of stone, but on the tablets that are hearts of the flesh..
Here is the thing..
— Our hearts store up memories and imprints — and impressions of our hurts and disappointments..
Learning to live free from unforgiveness is a message each of needs..
Our text this morning is from Matt 18 and in this chapter Jesus taught about How to deal with unforgiveness! starts actually
… In verse 15 Jesus tells talks about how to handle Offenses
.. Jesus said that if your brother sins against you.. —
Go to him personally —and bring up the issue.
and if he doesn’t work
-We are to bring in the help others — to intervene..
If that doesn work we are bring the issue to the church — and have in dealt within the community..
The point Jesus was making was to do everything possible restore a relationship..
… but there also times where reconciliation doesn’t take place..— because true repentance is needed.… Paul said .
10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
ONE of my professors Rod Cooper - would say OFTEN SAY when it come to mission and vision - slower is faster - but When it comes to conflict resolution.. faster is always faster… the closer are to the offense the better chances of restoration.
Jesus said that the outcome can be significant IF YOU YOU RECONCILE -- you have gained a brother.
This is the Set up for the Parable of on Unforgiveness.
— In verse 21
THE PARABLE BEGINS WITH Peter asking Jesus a question
(Agg Problem)
lets read our text..
Matthew 18:21–22 (NASB 95)
21 Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
Peter asks , "Lord"How many times should I forgive a brother? Seven times?
Now.. The Rabbis of the day taught that one need only forgive three times..
this taken from the OT… (in Amos 1:3) when God forgave Israels enemies 3 times and then he punished them..
This was the standard Rabbinic teaching..
When Peter suggest 7 times he was expecting Jesus to commend him for his generosity…
But instead Jesus say..
"I do not say up to seven times" -but "seventy times seven'. -
Jesus says ~ …Peter you are not even close..
Seven times seventy is 490 times..
That number must have stunned Peter and the disciples and those who were listening.
Jesus Deals with something quite deep within our human nature…that is our tendency to put limits on everything..
Even though the disciples had been with Jesus for some time, they were still thinking in the terms of the limits of the law, rather than in the unlimited terms of grace…
The law taught— an Eye for an Eye and a tooth for a tooth…
but Jesus message was radical -
Especially, when it came loving others.,
In Matt 5.. Jesus said that if some strikes you are cheek -turn the other cheek—
If some ones Sues you to take your court and wants shirt. … give him your coat as well..
if someone wants to walk one mile go with them the extra mile...
This is the law of love --
When Jesus says forgive 490 times — He wasn’t thinking of an exact number,
but rather such a large number that would never be reached - You will never need to forgive anyone 490 times.
Jesus dosn't just care about relationships but also about who we are and who we are becoming…our responses.
His Kingdom is one of righteousness …peace and joy in the Holy spirit.
T/s How do we live free from Unforgiveness? First… We need to ask How can I..
1. Expand My View of Forgiveness (Ahaha)
1. Expand My View of Forgiveness (Ahaha)
In Answering Peters question Jesus teaches the parable of the unjust servant.
lets read the parable.
23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.
24 When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
25 But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made.
26 So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’
Jesus tells the story of a King who wanted to settle his Accounts with his servants... And he discovers that one of his servants has amassed a huge debt... He had not stewarded the kings resources well..
The servant owed the King - ten thousand talents. —
Now a talent was a weight it was a measurement and a dollar amount.
But 10 000 talents of any precious metal would be a large sum — it didn’t matter if it was gold, silver or bronze...
The point is he owed a debt he could never pay.. it ran into the millions of dollars.. Some commentators put it at around 50 million!,
We are presented with this servant who has a Debt he could never Pay...
Thr King then says to this man that there are consequences for his actions..
He and his whole family would have to be sold into slavery…
This was common practice in Greco roman world - A debtor would be imprisionment (so he wouldn't run away)
And family and friends would raise the money to free him..
But in this case the debt was large that It would take a thousand life times to repay this debt…
Jesus is illustrating the predicament of sin ..and the sin nature..
The Bible tells us that each one of has been impacted by sin …— Paul says in Romans..
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
To sin means to miss the mark — here is the thing..
In order to know extent of forgiveness we need to understand the the weight of sin…that it was a debt we could never repay…
before can hope to understand the good news of salvation, we must first understand the bad news of consequences of sin
Paul says in
Romans 6:23 (NASB 95)
23 For the wages of sin is death,
From kings point of view - He had every right to require that his servant pay his debt in full..
But the problem is that the debt was so large that It would take a thousand life times to repay this debt…
whee- gospel.
The King had every intention to do Justice..
But when the man sort forgiveness and fell to the ground he pleaded for the kings patience.. .
We are told that the king was moved with compassion. His heart went out to him and he released him of his debt ---
Roman goes onto say that.. —
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
This is the Gospel…We had a debt we could never pay… but Jesus in his mercy paid the debt our debt in full…By his death on the cross..
To forgive someone means to release him or her from liability to suffer punishment or penalty.
To be forgiven means to be pardoned..It means to remove the guilt resulting from wrongdoing
The Greek word for “repent” is metanoia—to change one’s understanding.
—It is change of relationship…
The man was released from custody and was free from any liability or punishment.
The debt was cancelled and he no longer obligated or owed the money-
The man begged for mercy and he got grace -- The king gave him complete freedom.
T/s How do we Untangle Ourselves from Unforgiveness?
1. Expand My View of Forgiveness
2. Expose My Response to Offenses.
2. Expose My Response to Offenses.
How we respond to offenses is important!
Some of you may remember the Truth and Reconciliation Commission that took place in SA..
The point of the commission was to hear the testimony and stories of those who had impacted by crimes of Apartheid..
The goal was to bring reconciliation to a country torn apart by racial violence..
Desmond Tutu headed the commission..and saw no future with out forgiveness… For two years the commission heard stories of violence…at this time victims and perpetrators confessed their crimes, forgiveness was extended — this was a critical era in the the life of South Africa...
The way SA dealt with forgiveness huge lesson to the rest of the world..
How we respond to offenses is important…
In our parable there is a twist in the plot....because after receiving Forgiveness.. This servant goes home and then seeks judgement of a fellow servant who owed him a small amount of money..
Matthew 18:28–30 (NASB 95)
28 But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’
29 So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’
30 But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.
We are not told how time passed but it doesn’t seem to be a long time…
The Forgiven servant sought out a fellow servant who owed him a small debt - The amount was a hundred denary —
Which was basically a few hundred dollars..
WE told that this was a Fellow servant - syn-doulos - fellow slave/servant - someone on the same social economic level -
Someone in similar circumstances to himself.. someone he could relate too… empathize with..
But instead of forgiving his “brother.” He chose to go after him..
Living with unforgiveness IS A CHOICE -
HE HAD A CHOICE.. He forgive or could require payment.
We can can do the exact same thin…
We do this by withholding forgiveness,
by dwelling on the wrong, being cold and aloof, by giving up on the relationship,
by inflicting emotional pain,
by gossiping, by lashing back or by seeking revenge against the one who hurt you.
Unforgiveness entangles because it not only impacts the other person but yourself...
As someone once said, “Unforgiveness is the poison we drink, hoping others will die.”
The question we need to wrestle with is - How do I process my Hurt.
The well know preacher Henry Ward Beecher used the illustration of branch to illustrate how we can process hurts..
He said..
“Let me saw off a branch from one of the trees that is now budding in my garden, and all summer long there will be an ugly scar where the gash has been made;
but by next autumn it will be perfectly covered over by the growing; and by the following autumn it will be hidden out of sight; and in four or five years there will be but a slight scar to show where it has been; and in ten or twenty years you would never suspect that there had been an amputation.
Trees know how to overgrow their injuries, and hide them-
One of the mistakes we make is we bury our hurts.. but you can go to a tree 100s of years later and find the wound..
Jesus in the parable of Unforgiving servant —says don’t hide offenses…deal with them...
Jesus is saying...
DON’T BE LIKE THIS UNFORGIVING SERVANT…
WHO was forgiven millions OF DOLLARS but IN A MOMENT WANTED TO AVENGE A DEBTOR..
The servant took His debtor by the neck and told him to pay up or face the consequences..
The man pleaded with him asking for Mercy--
he SAYS THE very same words that THE Unforgiving servant had used before the King..
Have patience with me.. I will repay you… But the man had no mercy.... But instead of forgiving him — He put him in prison..
WE as believers are the most forgiven people in the world. We are to forgive like we have been forgiven.. that is the standard...
The Bible says in..
32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
We told in ...
13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
When it comes to granting forgiveness, God calls us to a high standard.. That we are to forgive as we have been forgiven...
T/s How do we Untangle Ourselves from Unforgiveness?
1. Expand My View of Forgiveness
2. Expose My Response to Offenses.
we need too
3. Experience the Benefits of Freedom
3. Experience the Benefits of Freedom
Yeah
R.C. Sproul tells the story of of his first day a freshman class 250 some students…
He carefully explained the assignment of three term papers.
Each paper was due on the last day of September, October, and November.
He clearly stated there would be no extensions (except for medical reasons).
At the end of September, some 225 students dutifully turned in their papers,
But 25 remorseful students quaked in fear. "We're so sorry," they said. "We didn't make the proper adjustments from high school to college, but we promise to do better next time."
R.C had mercy on them and gave them an extension, but warned them not to be late next month.
Then the end of October rolled around, and about 200 students turned in their papers, while 50 students showed up empty-handed. Again they asked for an extension...
because "it was homecoming weekend, and they ran out of time."
Sproul relented once more but warned them, "This is it. No excuses next time./
The end of November came, and only 100 students turned in their papers. The rest told Sproul, "We'll get it in soon."
"Sorry," Sproul replied. "It's too late’ He gave all an F..
The students were shocked they thought they would get mercy again…
"The students had quickly taken mercy for granted,"
I wonder this is what this unjust servant believed..
There is a shock factor to this parable and the forgiven man is now punished..
When the king found our what his servant done… He was angry.....and this time he received judgement not mercy..
Thenkinkmsummons the servant..
32 Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
33 Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’
34 And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.
35 My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
There is all ways a shock with justice.. Even criminalmgrt the verdict there ismthismshock of punishment..
We tend to struggle with judgemment
. How can a God of love send anyone to an eternity with out hope..
Here is the issue…
God is a God who full mercy and full compassion and longing than none perish but all come to eternal life
— But his generous offer of Grace can be rejected....
The whole point of free will is that God does not make us robots—we can receive and also reject his gift of grace..
The Theologian Soren Kierkegaurd - put it like this.
When the sinner despairs of the forgiveness of sins, it is almost as if he walked right up to God and said, “No, there is no forgiveness of sins, it is impossible.”
Soren Kierkegaard
Often last part of the parable is the most important… It is where the lesson lies… the lesson that Jesus is teaching. is
THAT HIS WORD IS A MIRROR..
It is about...
Where we stand in relation to GOD’S grace is important.…
AS BELIEVERS WE STAND BEFORE GOD AS forgiven…
What does it mean to be forgiven… and how do we relate to others…
This parable is an invitation for us to Experience Freedom — that comes from hearing and doing the word.. It not enough here the word of forgiveness and move on..
It is what James..
23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror;
24 for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.
The prarable is an invitation to
b. experience the benefits of Forgiveness..
Where there is forgiveness..
i - There is the Joy of Salvation
2. There Joy of Restored Relationship with Jesus
3 There is restored relationships with other..
4. Being part the expansion of kingdom..
Conclusion
Conclusion
There is a wonderfulverse in Luke 6.38 — It often miss quoted and used in the context of giving money… but it is not that — Verse 37 starts off with the word... Forgive and you will forgiven..
Luke 6:38 (NASB 95)
38 Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”
Forgiving — releasing and then receiving… What are things being poured.. and shaken together and running over...
Our life is an open book to the Lord.. Jesus knows Every fear, doubt and hurt
Our life is an open book to the Lord.. Jesus knows Every fear, doubt and hurt
Each one of us has a Notebook… We all have scars… and as they say every scar has a story...
. But we also know that Jesus Went to the cross he paid the penalty sin — He carried of rejection — He has the scars to prove it…
God love is greater than our hurts and our failures..
— If you took every offense and wrote down ---It would be a long list…
The book Colossians tells us that Jesus on the cancelled the certificate of debt that was against us having nailed it to the the cross.
We stand this morning forgiven…
What do we do with that Note book...
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
—We can allow the Lord to deal with our hearts.. in stead of list… there can God’s stamp…
Forgiven and paid in full...