The Heart Problem
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The Golden Years
The Golden Years
The golden years aren’t so golden. One of the things Sara’s mom used to say was, “Whoever called this time in life the golden years was colorblind.”
It’s hard on everyone. It’s hard on those of us in those golden years. And, it’s hard on the children who care for their parents who are in that stage.
This is hard for us. It’s fresh.
We are at the 1-year anniversary of Sara’s dad’s passing. Tuesday. The grief is real. It’s showing up again. We didn’t even realize it. We didn’t put 2 and 2 together. But we had convo last week that we seem to be sleeping okay, 7-8 hrs, but we’re tired. Emotionally drained. Then, it dawned on us. Grief.
We were flying back from Israel last year, on a layover, killing time in the Admiral’s Club, I forget which airport; when Sara got the call from her brother that her dad had fallen and broken his hip.
Once that domino fell, the others were all aligned and teetering.
Even leading up to our trip Sara was spending about 1 week each month in Tucson to help care for her dad. Her brother and his family are all there. Everyone gets along great and worked together. But, Sara did what she could to take some of that burden so they didn’t carry all of it.
She loves her dad. It was a burden, but it wasn’t. We sac’d a lot. I was alone a lot of the year. But, that’s what you do to take care of you parents when they need it.
Remember, they changed our dirty diapers first. They sat up w/ us when we were sick all night as kids. They comforted us as our high school sweethearts broke up w/ us and broke our hearts. They paid for our college educations and encouraged us thru college finals’ weeks, career choices. They let us be our own parents, didn’t impose too much when we made our mistakes. Took us on vacations we couldn’t afford.
We love each other. They welcomed me into the family right away. They let me be me, and gave me a role in the Willingham clan.
So, when it came time to take care of them, make the sac’s we needed to make, it was a no-brainer. Our hearts told us it was the right thing to do.
All year. But, especially after the broken hip.
And, like so many others, the broken him didn’t take him. His heart couldn’t withstand the recovery process. He was 91.
The holidays were not the joyous seasons they normally are. All the firsts are hard. Holidays. Birthdays. Anniversaries.
This is our story. You have yours, too. We all go thru this, one way or the other. We can all relate.
But dad’s passing came less than 2 years after mom’s. Avg. life expectancy of a surviving spouse is 2 years. Normal.
I’ve told stories about caring for mom. She had dementia. That brought a lot of difficulties into her care. W/ dementia, the grief starts before they pass. You lose them while they are still alive. And the mental and emotional process we went thru to adjust was hard. She’s right there. But, she isn’t.
We cried a lot that last year of her life. We laughed, too. There were some things that were so sad, but just funny.
Early on, before we knew what she was dealing w/, before her diagnosis, she had cataract surgery and new lenses implanted. Looking back, we understand.
But after her surgery, she complained to Sara, “Sara! That surgery caused wrinkles!”
Sara was like, “Mom. Do you think maybe it’s b/c you can see better that you can see the wrinkles?”
NO! Okay.
She went back to the doctor’s office and read them the riot act. Lit them up for the flaws in their surgery that caused her face to wrinkle. Imagine the convo in that office after she left.
Then, she went and got glasses. Lenses w/ no RX. We’re like, “Why?”
Her mind couldn’t process the change that she didn’t need them. She didn’t recognize herself, maybe. The reason for the implants is you don’t need glasses any more. But, she did. Okay.
It’s a constant roller coaster. Maybe, it’s not even a marathon, but a series of sprints w/ no break to recover. Recovery comes in time after they pass.
Caring for our elderly parents is hard.
For many of you, you can relate all too well. I also understand, for some of you, your experience w/ your parents was not good. That is hard in its own way. I get it. I’m sorry for the pain and difficulty.
There were times when we didn’t want to. Maybe we looked for an excuse not to. It was busy around here. We were tired. And, there was tension between Sara and her brother a few times. That’s part of the process.
We try to do right by our parents. They tried to do right by us. And some of them messed up pretty badly.
Sara’s parents were not perfect by any stretch. But she had a good upbringing and home life. Her parents love her and she loves her parents. I do, too.
And, b/c of what’s in our heart for them, we tried hard to do what was right for them. Our words and actions grew out of what was in our hearts for them. There were benefits to what we did, and in some cases, consequences.
Here’s where we are today.
The Pharisees from Jerusalem showed up to confront Jesus and the discs on an issue they tho’t t/b most important.
But Jesus turned it around on them for their excuse not to take care of their elderly parents leaving them destitute and in need.
There were clearly were issues in what they did or didn’t do for their parents. There were consequences in their family. It was bad.
Jesus’ point here is, as bad as the consequences were in the relationship between you and your parents for the actions you took, even worse are the consequences between you and God b/c of what’s in your heart.
Our behavior has benefits and consequences in our relationships with each other. And, it’s a big deal.
But what we say and do comes out of the condition of our heart. And the benefits and consequences in our relationship w/ God are a bigger deal.
We are in a section of this series about faith. Faith in Who Jesus is. Faith that He is Who He says He is and can do what He says He can do.
It started on a hillside w/ 15K hungry ppl.
Jesus showed the discs, if they have faith, what huge things He can do w/ their miniscule resources.
He showed the ppl that He will meet the small felt need of 1 meal, to prove He can meet a big need they don’t realize they have, to gain access to heaven.
Jesus sent the discs into another storm, the 2nd one. The first one he was right there. But He had to show them even if He’s not physically present, He’s right there and will take care of them in life-threatening situations. And, if, by faith, they were willing to leave their comfort zone, get out of their boat, they would be able to do amazing things.
Jesus does it thru us when we make ourselves available to Him to use.
Then, faith that He is the bread of life. He doesn’t want them to get hung up on the literal bread, barley loaves. But understand they rep Him. When we come to faith in Jesus, He nourishes out bodies just like food that gets digested.
From there, to a situ among ppl who don’t have faith and the consequences of their condition.
They came to confront Jesus and discs b/c they had an issue w/ them for being rule-breakers!
This episode is written about in Matthew 15 and Mark 7. We’re in the Mark passage today.
Rule-Breakers
Rule-Breakers
The Pharisees and some of the teachers of the law who had come from Jerusalem gathered around Jesus and saw some of his disciples eating food with hands that were defiled, that is, unwashed.
So the Pharisees and teachers of the law asked Jesus, “Why don’t your disciples live according to the tradition of the elders instead of eating their food with defiled hands?”
Jesus and the discs are still in Capernaum. These religious leaders came all the way from Jerusalem to confront them. They were mad. Fired up. Loaded for bear.
This is an indication of the priority and importance they felt these traditions held. And, if broken, it was a big deal, to them. Not to Jesus.
The hand-washing was not in the law that God gave Moses. It was a tradition added by the leadership years later.
When the elders of this church make a decision, we pray then decide. God is very much a part of the decision of how we do things around here.
But, the decisions we make in how we worship is much less important, a much lower priority than the Word of God where is says we must worship. Substance vs. style.
The substance of our worship comes from the bible. The style of our worship comes from prayerful decisions made by leadership. God is in these decisions. But, as times change, style must change.
If we elevate the importance of the style above the priority of the bible, then we have a problem.
That’s what happened here. Clearly, God had been in the decision to instruct and require ppl to wash their hands before they ate. Long before germs had been discovered, this decision kept disease out of Israel.
But, over time, the tradition of hand-washing, and dish and utensil washing, became a higher spiritual priority than the law that is in the bible. The leadership elevated its importance believing it had spiritual value and cleansing ability.
Not it didn’t. It just kept them from getting sick.
So, their assumption was, b/c they behaved correctly, according to their traditions, washed their hands before they ate, then they were spiritually clean, right w/ God, saved, and in a close rel. w/ Him.
And, b/c the discs did not behave correctly, according to their traditions, didn’t wash their hands, then they were not clean, sinners, not right w/ God, not saved, and distant from Him.
Jesus, in his response, called them out on their bad beliefs, behaviors, and assumptions.
This was kind of one of those, “I’m rubber, you’re glue. What you say bounces off me and sticks to you.”
A bit of a childish retort, but it applies. Jesus stuck it to them in His response to their confrontations.
Stuck it to Them
Stuck it to Them
He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written:
“ ‘These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are merely human rules.’
You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.”
And he continued, “You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is Corban (that is, devoted to God)—then you no longer let them do anything for their father or mother. Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.”
Isaiah predicted this.
King Saul in the OT was disob to God when he brought back all the livestock from the Amalekites. He was told to destroy everything. He didn’t. When he was confronted by Samuel, his feeble explanation was that he brought the animals back to sac in worship to God.
God’s response, thru Sam was, “God does not want your worship. He wants you faithful heart.”
God didn’t want the Pharisees’ lip-service. PPL can say anything. We can sing loud and on key. We can ‘amen’ every main point of all my sermons. But, if we are not living what we’re singing and applying what we’re studying, then we’re wasting out time here this morning.
What we sing, how we sing, when we sing is a style issue. How I preach is a style. The Word of God that it’s all based on is substance. If we practice the style w/out engaging the substance, we are wasting God’s time.
Style, human traditions. Washing hands, cups and saucers. They had elevated these traditions above the substance of God’s word.
Jesus did not even address their issue w/ Him and the disciples. He got right to the heart of the matter.
Commandment #5, of the big 10, says, “Honor your father and mother.” Meaning among other things, take care of them in their old age. Provide for them. When they are old, weak, unable to work, need extra care; do whatever needs to be done to make sure they are well-taken care of.
Sara and I, our kids, her brother’s family; we all did what we could to help care for mom and dad; Nani & Papa.
That’s God’s word. The OT law. In fact, according to the law, the death penalty was in play for violating this law.
Some centuries after Moses got the law, the leadership came up with a rule that became a tradition. Like most rules like this, Its origin was good. The reasons for it were godly. But, it became something ungodly.
If a Jewish declared that any of their assets, all of their assets, were dedicated as gifts to God; then they were exempt from using them for other purposes. Like, if there was a special offering for the community, then they would not have to participate b/c they were leaving all their assets to God when they died.
But, what these Pharisees used this tradition for was an excuse to not provide care for their elderly parents. B/C their assets were dedicated to God they did not need to use them to pay for their parents’ care. Of course, their assets stayed in their home and they could use them to maintain their lifestyle.
Purely selfish. The lifestyle would have been severely limited b/c elderly care was so expensive. They lives as if their tradition nullified their responsibility to their parents.
Jesus called them out by pointing out they had elevated one of their human sourced traditions above the God-sourced law. They prioritized their preferred style over the substance of God. They were more concerned about their external appearances than their internal transformation. They made a bigger deal out of their behavior than their beliefs.
Jesus brought them back to the substance, belief, inner transformation, and their heart problem.
While the Pharisees implied the discs had a deeper problem in that they did not appreciate importance of their traditions; Jesus implied the Pharisees had a deeper problem in that they prioritized their behavior over their beliefs. And, since they didn’t believe, their problem lied in their hearts.
It’s wise to wash your hands before you eat. But, it does not effect your rel w/ God if you don’t. It might make your mom mad and she might send you back to the bathroom to correct the situ. But, God cares more about the condition of your heart than the condition of the cleanliness of your hands.
We could still get sick. There are consequences we may have to deal w/ if we don’t wash our hands. It depends on where they’ve been and what soiled them.
Farmers w/ their hands in the dirt, not such a big deal. But a plumber, might need to pay more attention to what’s under his fingernails.
Behavior matters. There are benefits and consequences. But to God, our beliefs matter more than external behaviors. Our words and actions come from our thoughts and convictions.
When Jesus turned his attention away from the Pharisees and to the crowd then the discs, this is what He needed for them to understand.
Behavior matters. But behavior come from out beliefs. And our heart is the source of what we believe.
While our behavior can cause problems, our beliefs can cause bigger problems b/c the real issue is the heart problem.
The Heart Problem
The Heart Problem
Again Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.”
After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. “Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.)
He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”
The Pharisees had done such a poor job of educating the ppl on spiritual matters and the Word of God Jesus needed to correct this point.
There is nothing, no behavior, no activity, nothing we can do that we participate in that can cause us to not be saved or have a rel w/ God.
He’s not saying there are not consequences to behavior. There are. But, this is an issue of salvation. The problem is not in our behavior, it’s in our beliefs. And our words and action stem from what we believe in our heart.
What comes out of our mouths and the activities of our hands and feet indicate the condition of our heart. That’s the bigger problem. Not that we don’t cause problems w/ our behavior. The biggest problem we may have is what we believe in our heart.
So, if you have a heart problem, you can’t fix it by washing your hands.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Faith alone, belief not behavior, facilitates God’s heart transplant w/in us.
So, to the discs, He further clarified. When you eat food, it goes into your stomach. It is digested. The good stuff goes to your organs, bones, muscles, and brain. The bad stuff is expelled, voided, as waste.
What you eat does not get into your heart. And hearts are the priority in being right, or wrong, w/ God.
He then goes on to list some specifics that come from an unbelieving heart. This is not an exhaustive list. There are a couple of interesting things about this list of 12 behaviors that come from an unbelieving heart.
First, in the Greek, they are all nouns. But in our English translations, they are all verbs. Our English translation seems to place a higher priority on the action while the Greek places the emphasis on the person.
God is more concerned about us as ppl, than what we do. We should be, too.
Second, the first 6 nouns are plural, indicating a person who exhibits this lifestyle in their ongoing activities.
The second 6 are singular. Once is enough to indicate the heart problem that creates a separation between you and God.
As a result, I’m not going to define these terms. Some are obvious. But, too often we get too hung up on the behavior and activity. God is hung up on the ppl and the condition of their heart that these behaviors come from.
Someone who practices these things, his or her greatest sin is not the behavior. Their greatest sin is their unbelief, the condition of their heart. So, our priority in the lives and lifestyles of these ppl, is not to point out the problems w/ their behavior. But, our responsibility is to lead them closer to Jesus and let Him handle what does or does not need to change in their behavior.
If someone comes to belief, then their heart problem is over and their behavior cannot sever their relationship w/ Jesus.
Good ppl, saved ppl, ppl who are right w/ God, can still have an affair. The behavior will not cost them their salvation. It will cost them something. We can steal stuff. In a weak moment, we can say inappropriate things. It hurts us. It hurts others.
There are consequences to these behaviors. The opposite is also true. If you do and say good things, there are benefits to the ppl around you.
But, the bottom line w/ God is what is the condition of your heart. That’s the biggest problem that needs t/b addressed. Once it’s addressed and resolved by faith, then we can get on w/ the lesser problems of these types of behaviors.
C.1 Israel was not the only entity consumed w/ the behavior of their ppl. Churches can and do, too. Do smoke, drink, dance, or chew? Do you go w/ girls who do?
Do you want to? B/C, it’s the want to that gets you most of the time. Do you cuss?
Do you listen to rock music? Syncopated rhythm? That back-beat music that uses the drum beats of Satanic tribes in Africa? Is your toe tapping or fingers snapping while we sing in church?
Does your instrument have a cord? Electric guitars are instruments of the Devil.
Is your hair too long and your skirt too short? I don’t wear a suit when I preach. And, I heard of one person in MP that will not come to church here b/c I don’t preach from a bible.
I’ve got about 1000 bibles on my iPad.
I could go on.
Let’s be careful about throwing stones at ‘those’ ppl. We do it, too.
Jesus said nothing outside of a person can cause them to not be saved or lose their salvation. It is only the condition of their heart.
Our behavior can be a big deal. But our beliefs are the biggest deal. That’s Jesus’ perspective. And, it should be ours, too.
Applications
Applications
Behavior matters
Behavior matters
Don’t walk out of here saying pastor said it doesn’t matter what I do or say. It does. You can do a lot of good or a lot of harm w/ your words and actions.
They do not determine your eternal destination. Your beliefs and condition of your heart do that.
But, be aware and do less harm by doing more and saying more good.
Can you improve you behavior?
Their behavior
Their behavior
Don’t get hung up on the lifestyle of others. It may be obviously ungodly. It may be the matter of opinion as to its godliness.
Our job is to lead everyone closer to Jesus. Don’t push ppl away from Jesus in your attitude toward their lifestyle.
That does not mean you need to participate nor approve. No one needs your approval for what they do.
You can love everyone who does not share your lifestyle.
Is there someone near you that you can communicate you genuinely care about them and want the to know Jesus w/out commenting on their behavior?
Your heart
Your heart
What’s your heart’s condition?
Do you believe in Jesus? If you do, then God has performed the necessary heart transplant giving you new life.
That does not mean your behavior is 100% perfect. We still struggle w/ our sin nature and natural desire to not do right.
Don’t sweat your salvation. That consequence is off the table.
Believe first. Then work on your behavior.
Caring for our elderly parents is hard. It’s hard and it costs us something. We cannot maintain our current lifestyle if we are doing all that we need to do for them.
We can’t make excuses why we don’t. It really comes down to whether or not we love them. What’s in your heart for your parents?
The same is true for our relationship w/ Jesus. What we do is based on what we believe. Our behaviors are based on our beliefs. And our beliefs are based on the condition of our heart.
Nothing from outside us can change the condition of our heart. It is the condition of our heart that changes what comes out from inside.
Our behavior has benefits and consequences in our relationships with each other. And, it’s a big deal.
But what we say and do comes out of the condition of our heart. And the benefits and consequences in our relationship w/ God are a bigger deal.