Sermon Tone Analysis

March 16,2012

By John Barnett

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The decline and fall of the human race is set forth in Romans 1.

Curiously, right in between all of those dreadful sins is one that seems to have always stood in the way of mothers loving their children to the max.

Here it is in Romans 1:26-30.

Romans 1:26-30 /"For this reason God gave them up to vile passions.

For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.

27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, 30 backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful;"/ NKJV

You see not much has changed in two thousand years, the same old sins are still swirling around and the same challenges face each of us.

God wanted the lost pagans living on Crete to see their changed lives and be confronted with living examples of Jesus Christ.

Society was to be flooded at every level with the irrefutable proof of changed lives.

*Grace-energized Wives and Mothers Have Two Qualities Everyone Could See*

So Paul told all the grace-energized wives and mothers in the church to have two qualities everyone could detect.

Listen again to them in Titus 2:

Titus 2:4 /"that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,"/ NKJV

For a believer both sacrificial giving (agape) love is commanded as well as emotional, caring, friendship (phileo) love.

We have been studying these admonitions in Titus 2. These life-truths have always deeply impacted any society.

When the Gospel that brings this impossible life into the heart of a newly saved individual starts to work through Christ's church, the world takes notice.

So what would hinder these grace-energized mothers from loving their children?

As we saw last time, the most formidable hindrance may be bitterness, but the most common hindrance may be selfishness.

One hindrance that is always with us, is our flesh that wants to go its way instead of God’s.

That is the hindrance of selfishness.

*Grace-energized Wives and Mothers Are Hindered by Selfishness*

God has high standards.

He says “nothing” can be done that is eternal, nothing enduring, nothing that pleases Him can be done energized-by-self.

Philippians 2:3-4/" Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.4

Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."/

NKJV

He only blesses, accepts, and desires grace-energized love.

Only love for husbands and children that is energized by grace is acceptable and glorifying to Him.

Each of us were born selfish.

Babies cry for their own needs, not others.

Toddlers do not wage battles for others, it is their own space, their own toys, and their own sinful desire for attention that prompts the terrible two’s.

Watching most teenagers is a study in the art of self-absorbtion as their life is consumed by the upkeep of their little world.

And sadly, physical maturity does not end this spiritual problem.

Adults retain most of the selfish desires of childhood and youth, they just are able to mask them better the older they get.

A basic description of most adults in America would be that they are individuals who have these priorities: the satisfaction of their own personal needs and desires, the maintenance of their own good feelings about themselves, and the preservation of their own personal rights.

As we turn to II Timothy 3 this evening, we find a “prophecy” of what the world will be like in the “last days”.

Our present-day pleasure seeking, self-serving culture closely and ominously mirrors Paul’s warnings of the “last days”:

2 Timothy 3:1-7 /"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power.

And from such people turn away!

6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."/

NKJV

To the hedonistic culture of Roman Crete, and to the equally pleasure-seeking and narcissistic culture of today, God gives the same message.

We are to be self-denying, others-ahead-of-ourselves-choosing believers.

That self-sacrificing lifestyle is never easy, always strange to the culture, and constantly glorifying to God.

God made happiness, peace, and joy to grow only along the narrow pathway of grace-energized self-denial.

When wives and mothers heed this call for grace-energized love for their husbands and children, they begin down that narrow pathway of self-denial.

Grace-energized love for husbands and children leads to the deepest happiness, joy, and fulfillment.

But when God’s pathway of self-denial is un-followed, His admonitions unheeded, and life gets “graceless” without the grace of God energizing a life, marriage, and family--there is only emptiness, frustration, and sorrows.

How is this grace-energized emotional love for your husband and children cultivated?

Paul explains that in Romans 12:10.

Romans 12:10 /"Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;"/ NKJV

*Love is encouraged when selfishness is mortified.

*

Selfishness will hinder, thwart, and stifle this grace-energized love God wants from wives and mothers.

But selfishness isn’t the biggest hindrance, we already saw the one that is far more deadly, and it is called bitterness.

As we have studied, bitterness is a deadly cancer that grows rapidly and produces a deadly poison that paralyzes a believer’s love, robs their joy, and ends their peace.

It zaps their spiritual strength and removes God’s blessing from their lives.

So at all costs, avoid bitterness.

*Spotting Signs of Bitterness*

What are the warning signs of bitterness?

As I list off some of the most common signs of bitterness, ask yourself as a grace-energized wife or mother (and everyone else listening) are you showing any of these signs of bitterness?

It is really not that complicated to recognize that bitterness has set in.

Let's think of some of the characteristics of a bitter person:

• They show a lack of concern for others.

A bitter person cares very little about anybody else.

• They're very sensitive and touchy.

For instance, if a bitter person walks into a room where two other people are talking, and those people get quieter as he walks in, the bitter person thinks, “They're talking about me.”

• They tend to avoid meeting new people, show little or no gratitude at all, and usually speak words of empty flattery or harsh criticism.

• They hold grudges against people, often for a long, long time.

They find it extremely difficult to forgive.

• They often have a stubborn or sulking attitude.

• They end up experiencing mood extremes - very high and happy one minute, and the next thing you know, they're so low they can reach up and touch bottom.

• Bitterness can be called the seed of Hell because one of the worst things about bitterness is that it doesn't stop… it keeps getting worse.

It may only start as a little seed of hurt, but then it grows and festers into a very dangerous thing.

Bitterness is one of the more deadly cancers of the spiritual life of the believer.

If you are infected by bitterness, get out of your self-imposed prison now, don’t stay in a moment longer.

Paul said that the Spirit of God, in the power of Christ's cross can set you free.

The escape route has been marked for us by the One who should have had all the reasons in the world to be bitter but was not.

*Getting Out of The Bitterness Trap*

Have you ever notice that line in the Lord’s Prayer?

Often we have said it so many times we skip right over it.

“Forgive us God the way we have forgiven others”.

God wants us to forgive others and not cultivate bitterness.

Forgiving others isn’t denying that they hurt us, or ignoring it either.

Denial is mindless foolishness, God wants us to face real problems with real solutions from His Word.

Getting out of the bitterness trap starts by honestly confronting hurts in our life—and as those energized-by-grace, doing something about each hurt-induced wound!

Here are some basic steps.

1) *Make a list of the people who've hurt you.*

This is always easiest for us because that is what we remember the best—the offenses others commit against us.

Just jot names and things they have done to hurt you.

Here are some typical hurts: “My parents didn't keep their promises.”

“They gave more love and affection to other members of the family.”

“My dad took out his bad temper on me.” “My wife tries to make me into something I'm not.” “My friend wasn't there when I needed him,” etc.

2) *Make another list of the things you have done to hurt them.*

Whoa, this is the hard part.

Pride effectively edits our memories of the wrongs we do by shifting the blame, hiding our guilt, and so on.

Our flesh likes our faults to stay hidden from others, so pray and ask God to shine the light of the Spirit upon your heart and expose ways you have harmed others.