Submission, Pt. 3
Notes
Transcript
We’ve made it to 1 Peter 3, but we’re still talking about submission. Submission is the theme from 2:13-3:7.
The principle of submission directly relates to the example and person of Jesus. His example is elaborated upon in 1 Peter 2:21-25—the verses we’ve read twice or three times already. We’ve read them each week because they’re important; these verses serve as the hub of the surrounding sections.
The submission Peter speaks of isn’t merely adherence to a principle. The submission Peter speaks of and writes about is a recognition of the Person who compels us to submit. Jesus compels us to submit, living lives of godly obedience to Him.
Peter writes this about Jesus:
21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
22 “He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth.”
23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 25 For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
We submit because we are followers of Christ. We submit because His Word tells us to. Whether we are citizens or slaves, we submit—for Him and through Him and because of His example. We submit.
Christians are to present themselves before a watching world as people who emulate Jesus, those who pattern their lives on His example.
As we do so, we present the world with fresh and flesh-and-blood pictures of living hope.
Our passage this morning is a tad tricky. These are no one’s favorite verses. They might well be some of the least popular verses in 1 Peter. If you have read ahead, you know why.
We have to come to this text humbly, with a willingness to lay aside our presuppositions and personal opinions about this topic and let God’s Word speak to us.
If you have your Bible (and I hope you do), please turn with me to 1 Peter 3. If you are able and willing, please stand for the reading of God’s Holy Word. Let’s see what God has to say to us here today.
1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
May God add His blessing to the reading of His Holy Word!
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Whenever we hear the words “wife” and “submit” in a sentence together we might cringe or bristle. We may even be tempted, a la Thomas Jefferson to cut these words right out of the Bible.
I’ll say it again, we must all approach texts like this with humility, leaving aside the know-it-all or “yeah, but it doesn’t mean that today” mentality.
I read a story about a married couple who had attended a seminar taught by one of those male demagogues determined to show that that Bible teaches that the man is IN CHARGE at home. It was the kind of terrible teaching on submission that turns women into lowly doormats. Well, the husband just loved it! He had never heard anything like that in his life, and he drank it all in. His wife, however, sat there fuming as she listened to hour after hour of this stuff.
When they left the meeting that night, the husband felt drunk with fresh power as he climbed into the car. While driving home, he said rather pompously, “Well, what did you think about that?” His wife didn’t utter a word, so he continued, “I think it was great!”
When they arrived home, she got out and followed him silently into the house. Once inside, he slammed the door and said, “Wait right there—just stand right there.” She stood, tight-lipped, and stared at him.
He continued: “I’ve been thinking about what the fellow said tonight, and I want you to know that from now on that’s the way it’s gonna be around here. You got it? That’s the way things are gonna run in this house!”
After having said that, he didn’t see her for two weeks. After two weeks, he could start to see her just a little bit out of one eye.
We laugh because it’s funny. We laugh because it’s uncomfortable. And we laugh because most try to skirt around these verses in various ways.
What’s true is this: this is God’s Word for us today. We have to think through what this meant then and what this means now.
These verses—1 Peter 3:1-7—have been distorted and used to devalue women when that’s actually the opposite of what God’s Word does.
Scot McKnight writes: “Just arguing that the term ‘submission’ is a legitimate word to describe the relationship of a wife to her husband can make many readers hyperventilate.”
The Biblical injunction is that the wife ought to give her life to her husband, to serve and cherish him, and the husband ought to lay down his life for his wife. When the Christian wife is seeking to love her husband with her whole being and the Christian husband is seeking to love his wife with his whole being, the issue of submission takes care of itself.
We can discuss the different viewpoints and the various angles—literal, cultural, conservative, progressive, feminist, anti-feminist—or we can let the text speak for itself and ask the Holy Spirit to help us apply this to our lives and marriages right where we’re at.
Let’s trust that this is God’s Word for us today, and believe that the LORD speaks to us through His Word.
Peter begins by stating
The Reason for a Wife to Submit (vv. 1-2)
The Reason for a Wife to Submit (vv. 1-2)
Wives are instructed to submit to unbelieving husbands with the hope that their husbands will be converted through the godly conduct of their wives.
Peter continues to address different segments on the church, focusing on those who have less power in that society, so now he turns to wives.
Wives are exhorted to submit themselves to their husbands, just as citizens should submit to ruling authorities and slaves to their masters.
Voluntary submission is in view here. Husbands do not have the responsibility to make their wives submit. The participle submit yourselves would be better read as submitting yourselves.
It’s active and voluntary.
What makes this passage a little unique is that Peter’s words are addressed to wives with unbelieving husbands. Wives are to submit to their unbelieving husband—those who are disobedient to the word—because their submission is the means by which their husbands could be won over without words.
Submission is commended, then, for the sake of the mission of the church.
Those husbands who are disobeying “the word” may be converted without a word by the behavior of their wives.
The question for us is whether wives should submit to their husbands in today’s world.
Is Peter’s advice limited to wives of unbelieving husbands? Is Peter’s advice culturally limited to the time in which he was writing?
What we must get right from the outset is that nowhere does Peter or the rest of the NT teach that women are inferior to men, that they are less intelligent, or that they are more prone to wickedness.
What Peter emphasizes is that wives are co-heirs with their husbands of eternal life (v. 7). Men and women are fundamentally equal.
Paul agrees with Peter when he writes: Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
The NT was countercultural in promoting the equality of women. Jesus was a revolutionary, treating women with dignity and respect. No person treated women with more worth and value than Jesus. Jesus took the world’s way of treating women and flipped it upside-down.
The question isn’t whether women are of equal value with men (the NT is resoundingly clear that they are).
The issue is whether such equality is compatible with the call for wives to submit to their husbands.
When we read the NT as a whole, we don’t just deal with Peter’s instruction here. When we read 1 Peter 3 alongside Ephesians 5, the teaching is clear.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
It’s clear from what Paul writes to the Christians in Ephesus that the submission of wives to husbands is grounded in theology.
It’s a picture of Christ’s relationship with the church.
This isn’t a cultural thing; it’s a Christian thing. The submission of wives to their husbands mirrors the church’s submission to Jesus.
Therefore, it should be accepted as the norm that transcends the culture of the 1st Century.
It’s not just a word for Peter’s original audience. It’s a word for us today.
Men and women are equally made in God’s image:
26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
27 So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
Men and women have equal access to salvation:
28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Christian men and women alike share in the same destiny:
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Submission, then, does not equal inferiority. A different function doesn’t make wives less valuable than their husbands. Submission reflects the Creator’s order.
The submission of a wife to their husband is a beautiful picture of Jesus and His Church. Wives submit because of their relationship with the LORD and their desire to please Him.
What a Wife’s Conduct Accomplishes (vv. 2-4)
What a Wife’s Conduct Accomplishes (vv. 2-4)
Peter writes about the behavior of…wives. The word behavior is one of Peter’s favorite words. This word summarizes the godly conduct required of believers.
The behavior of a Christian wife matters.
The short verse 2 in our Bibles speaks about the purity and reverence of [the wives’] lives.
Reverence or reverent life is really the phrase “in fear.”
As with all mentions of fear in Peter’s writings, this fear is directed only ever toward God. Slaves don’t fear their masters; they fear their God. Wives don’t fear their husbands; they fear God.
Fear is always directed toward God.
Peter’s point is that the good conduct of wives should stem from their relationship to God.
The wife doesn’t submit to show how good they are, to avoid conflict, to impress the neighbors, to manipulate their husbands.
She submits because of her relationship with and trust in God.
The unbelieving husband would take notice of his wife’s submission first to Jesus, and then to him. And that speaks a strong word, then and now.
Christian wives in Peter’s day subverted the typical order of the day by having a religion different from their husbands, attending Christian gatherings, neglecting their duties to the cult.
A woman who worshipped the one true God in Jesus Christ would no longer participate in their family’s cultic worship.
A wife who followed Peter’s instructions would stand out for refusing to take part in the man religious rituals practiced in Roman households.
What’s most important to a Christian is submitting to and honoring Christ first. And that submission, that reverent fear for the LORD, the purity of their lives may, just may win over their unbelieving husbands.
The conduct of wives is a matter of behavior, but also expression.
It was common in the Greco-Roman world to tell women to dress modestly; Peter isn’t saying anything groundbreaking or new. Rather, Peter is wanting to make sure Christians understand what true beauty is.
True beauty is not found in name-brand clothes, elaborate up-dos, or flashy jewelry.
The focus of the Christian wife should be on the inner self. The adornment God desires is not external (hair and clothing and jewelry), but internal adornment—their relationship with God.
What matters to God is not what people look like on the outside, but their godly character.
1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV)
The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Physical beauty may fade. What’s unfading is a gentle and quiet spirit.
Internal beauty is not only attractive to husbands, but is also of great worth in God’s sight.
It’s not a matter of expensive clothing and jewelry, but of the inner attitudes and qualities of great worth.
Examples of Holy, Hope-filled Submission (vv. 5-6)
Examples of Holy, Hope-filled Submission (vv. 5-6)
Peter illustrates his point with the example of some holy women of the past. The example serves to encourage the wives to submit themselves to their husbands as these did.
Peter introduces them as holy women of the past who put their hope in God.
The most important part of this instruction is that these women put their hope in God.
These women of old didn’t submit to their husbands because they believed their husbands were superior to them intellectually or spiritually. They submitted because they were confident that God would reward those who put their trust in Him.
These holy women, women set apart for God, adorned themselves with inner beauty, gentle and quiet spirits.
Peter reaches all the way back to Genesis to Sarah as an example for the women of Peter’s day. She’s an example today, too.
Sarah submitted to and obey Abraham and called him her lord.
A Christian marriage isn’t just about the wife obeying the husband. A Christian marriage is to be marked by mutuality, caring for and respecting the other. Still, wives have a responsibility to follow their husband’s leadership.
Sarah…obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.
Wives, feel free to call your husband, “My lord.”
Of course, I’m kidding. But listen: in Genesis 18, Sarah refers to Abraham with respect and dignity instead of merely calling him an old man.
Sarah respected Abraham; her honor of him was proper.
Christian wives are, writes Peter, Sarah’s daughters if they imitate her godly behavior. It’s a matter of character and conduct.
Just think about the witness of a wife’s conduct and what it accomplishes. Just think about the example of these holy women who put their hope in God. It’s no small thing.
The High Calling of the Husband (v. 7)
The High Calling of the Husband (v. 7)
What a Christian husband must never do is demand submission without being the kind of husband the Bible requires.
Peter writes here to Christian husbands. He didn’t write to slave masters or to the government officials in the previous sections. He does write to Christian husbands because it’s important.
Husbands should honor their wives because, verse 7, their wives are co-heirs with [them] of the gracious gift of life.
Both husbands and wives, in Christ, can expect the same heavenly destiny.
Be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner.
The weaker partner/vessel part almost certainly speaks to physical strength, and not spiritual or emotional weakness.
To the husbands listening, ours is to honor our wives. To treat them with respect. To understand their position as heirs along with us.
There was nothing in Greco-Roman literature that told husbands to honor their wives. This is a distinctly Christian teaching.
A Christian wife will behave differently. So will a Christian husband.
Husbands who ignore these commands will find their prayers are hindered. That is, God will refuse to answer the prayers of the husband who does not honor and respect his wife.
Paul tells husbands, in Ephesians 5, after his instruction to wives telling them to submit:
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
That’s our calling—and there is no higher calling. Our model is Jesus Himself, laying down His life for His bride, the Church.
>As we read at the beginning of the sermon, Jesus is our example in all this talk about submission. It’s Him we follow. He left us an example that we should follow in His steps. We look to Him and depend upon Him.
What’s more, we NEED Him desperately. For our marriages to honor Him and glorify Him, we need Him at the center. We need His Word to guide us and challenge us, to correct us and convict us.
Isn’t it great when God’s Word speaks to us directly? To know that He cares about our relationship with our spouse?
The LORD is good and He is kind. He doesn’t leave us guessing about how we should relate to one another.
Wives, your submission to your husbands, and husbands, your sacrificial love for your wives is a picture, a shadow of the relationship between Christ and His Church.
Every marriage is imperfect. We sin against one another. We mess up. We are selfish and fully human. We will not give one another everything we need. It’s not a Hallmark movie. There no “You complete me” silliness.
But we can, with Christ, love one another and show one another respect and honor befitting the Christian marriage. We who go by His name are enabled and empowered to have marriages who reflect His goodness and grace because Jesus has given us His example to follow.
The Biblical injunction is that the wife ought to give her life to her husband, to serve and cherish him, and the husband ought to lay down his life for his wife.
When the Christian wife is seeking to love her husband with her whole being and when the Christian husband is seeking to love his wife with his whole being, the issue of submission takes care of itself.
Christian marriages can, by God’s grace, give the watching world a glimpse of the goodness of God. That should be our ultimate desire!