Ephesians: The Spirit Filled Home
Notes
Transcript
The past two weeks we have been looking at God’s desire for His children to be Spirit filled and to live lives accordingly.
The first week we saw what a Spirit filled life looked like and last week we saw what a Spirit filled marriage looks like through God’s blueprints.
This week we come to a new chapter but Paul is still instructing his readers about how Spirit filled believers should act.
He is going address the relationship between the children and the parents and parents and children.
I would say and Im sure you would agree, this is a very important subject at this time in our culture.
We are living in a world that does not respect the home.
We are witnessing a breakdown in discipline, and morals.
Lawlessness is running rampant due to the lack of discipline in all the fundamental units of life. Marriage and home being the two most prominent.
You have heard, so goes the home, so goes the nation.
that is where we are. The home today is not what it use to be just 25 years ago.
I remember when I was growing up, my mom can testify to this, my dad ruled the house with an iron fist when needed.
Unfortunately, he had to exercise that fist quite often.
I did not make it easy for my parents, but at least I knew that they were the parents and I was the child.
To many children today run the house. What they say goes.
This turns the natural order upside down.
God gave children parents for one reason, to raise in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
They are called children for a reason,
One of Websters definitions for child is one weak in knowledge, experience, judgement or attainments.
Children dont know better. They have to be taught. That is where parents come into play.
Now we have to understand that Paul is still in the thought pattern of submission Eph. 5:21
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Submission, the way it is intended in Scripture, is the best way to show Christ and His love.
The only way we can submit to one another is to become filled with the Spirit
This is the pattern shown in verses 19-21. You become spirit filled, sing songs and hymn and spiritual song and you submit one to another in our churches, in our marriages and in our homes.
What we find here in vs1-4 are Pauls instruction to children and to Parents and how both are treat one another.
We can read all the parenting books, listen to all the “specialist”, go to all the classes we want, but unless we listen to what Paul is telling us here, we will never have the Spirit Filled Home that God wants us to have.
There are two groups that need to be Spirit Filled if the home is going to be Spirit Filled.
Main:
The First group is the Children.
I. The Spirit Filled Child
I. The Spirit Filled Child
Two commands given to those still under their parent’s care in these verses.
• Verse 1, children are commanded to “obey your parents”.
• In Verse 2, children are commanded to “honor your father and mother”.
A. A Spirit Filled Child will Obey
A. A Spirit Filled Child will Obey
—God’s first command to “children” is to “obey your parents”.
The word translated “children” does not refer just to young children but to all offspring.
Sons and daughters still under their parents’ roof are to obey and honor them.
Obedience has to do with action, and honor has to do with attitude.
The word translated “obey” means “to hear under.”
It is a picture of children who submit themselves to the will of their parents by obeying them in all things.
It means that you listen to them.
You follow their directions.
You do what they tell you to do.
Children are to obey their parents.
Unfortunately that is not always the case, There is something within that just doesn’t want to do that.
We are born with a black drop of rebellion in our hearts. By nature we don’t want to obey.
You can tell your child not to do something. They may never have even thought about doing what you told them not to do, but as soon as you tell them not to do it, there arises something in their hearts that makes them want to do exactly that. If you tell them not to touch that vase on the table, they will look at that vase as they have never seen it before. The moment you tell them not to touch that vase, there is something inside of them that will make them want to touch that vase. There is something naturally in us which wants to rebel when we are told to obey. Children, the Bible says to “obey your parents”.
There are two reasons given in verse 1 that tell children why they are to “obey”.
It’s the spiritual thing to do.
The Bible says, “in the Lord.”
When a child obeys their parents, it is a way of serving the Lord.
Obedience to ones parents honors the Lord.
The phrase “in the Lord” also implies that there is a limit on what parents can command children to do.
No child should have to do what their parents tells them to do, if what they are commanded to do violates the commands of the Lord.
The commandments of the Lord always come first.
So it is the Spiritual thing to do, it is also...
It is the ethical thing to do.
“For this is right.”
Obedience to parents is simply the right thing to do.
It is far too common to see children talking back to their parents; rolling their eyes when they are told to do something; or pitching a fit when they don’t get their way.
There is nothing pleasing or honorable about that kind of behavior.
It dishonors the Lord.
It dishonors the parents.
It dishonors the child.
The greatest example of obedience to parents in the Bible is the Lord Jesus Christ. When Jesus came back down from the temple at the age of 12, the Bible says in Luke 2:41, “Jesus went down with them and came to Nazareth and was subject unto them.”
Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, was subject to Mary and Joseph!
Think about that! What a thought!
Here is the Son of God; the Lord of Glory; the Creator of the universe.
Yet, He came down and was obedient and subjected Himself to a carpenter and his wife.
If the Lord Jesus Christ was obedient to His parents, the Bible teaches we should be obedient to our parents as well.
Respect for parents is of such importance to God that Moses commanded,
And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.
And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.
To either physically or verbally abuse a parent was a capital offense in ancient Israel.
Apparently this is a serious matter to the Lord.
Since that is the case, perhaps we should take it seriously too.
B. A Spirit Filled Child will Honor their Parents
B. A Spirit Filled Child will Honor their Parents
—The word “honor” carries the idea of “value”.
It means that children are “to respect them; to value them; to hold them in high regard”.
There is nothing more ugly, nothing more displeasing, and nothing more obnoxious than a child who is disrespectful to his parents.
Honor your father and mother.
You say, “You don’t know my parents, they aren’t worthy of my honor.”
There may be times when you are ashamed of your parents.
There may be times when they embarrass you.
There may be times when you don’t want to do what they say.
The best thing you can do, regardless of how they may act from time to time is to honor your parents.
God will bless you because of it.
Children who honor their parents are given a tremendous promise.
“Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with thee and you may live long on the earth.”
Paul is quoting Ex.20:12
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
Now, I dont believe this is ever ment to be a guarantee.
We all know situations where that didn’t happen.
Children honored their parents and the children got tragically killed.
God is not giving us an ironclad guarantee.
God is saying that, as a general rule, you will tend to live a longer, better life if you will obey and honor your parents.
Take for example:
- If the parents say don’t touch the stove, you obey and you don’t burn your hand.
- If they say don’t run out into the street, you obey and you may avoid getting killed by a car.
- If your parents say don’t touch alcohol and drugs, you obey and you may live a longer life, and you may not have addictions along the way.
- If you will listen to mom and dad when you are dating, you will be less likely to get into trouble.
I read this little illustration: A father and son were in the park and dad said it was time to go, the son said no, when the dad went to grab him to take him to the car, the boy took off running. As the boy was running the Dad kept yelling, Stop don't run that way, Son stop. The boy kept running right down into a concrete culvert. Not listening to his dad resulted in injury. The dad kept telling him to stop because the dad could see the culvert and the son could not.
Kind of sounds like us as God’s children, if we would just listen to God, honor him we might just prevent a lot of spiritual and physical injuries.
Children, If you have godly parents that are trying to lead you in the right path, you should be thankful that God has blessed you!
It wouldn’t hurt some of you boys and girls to tell your parents that you are thankful for them.
If you have a mother and dad who have brought you to God’s house today and if they are trying, then you have a great deal to be thankful for.
I. The Spirit-Filled Child
II. The Spirit Filled Parent
II. The Spirit Filled Parent
While the verse says “fathers”, the Lord is speaking about the role of both parents in the lives of their children.
When this text was written, ancient society had an very different view of children than the view we hold.
Most families in that day were in shambles, and mutual love among family members was almost unheard of.
“A Roman father had absolute power over his family. He could sell them as slaves; he could make them work in his fields, even in chains; he could take the law into his own hands, for law was in his own hands, and he could punish as he liked; he could even inflict the death penalty on his child.
Further, the power of the Roman father extended over the child’s whole life, so long as the father lived. A Roman son never came of age There was also the matter of child repudiation, leading to exposure of the newborn. When a baby was born it was placed before its father. If the father stooped and lifted the child, the child was accepted and was raised as his. If he turned away, the child was rejected and was literally discarded. Such rejected children were either left to die, or they were picked up by those who trafficked in infants. These people raised children to be slaves or to stock the brothels. One Roman father wrote to his wife from Alexandria: “If—good luck to you!—you have a child, if it is a boy, let it live; if it is a girl, throw it out
William Barclay, The Letters to the Galatians and Ephesians (Edinburgh: Saint Andrews Press, 1954), 208.
Seneca, a renowned statesman in Rome at the time Paul wrote the Ephesian letter, said, “We slaughter a fierce ox; we strangle a mad dog; we plunge a knife into a sick cow. Children born weak or deformed we drown.”
Such callousness is terrifying. Yet, according to a recent report, the primary cause for children being in foster homes today is not the divorce, financial destitution, or death of their parents, but simply the disinterest of their parents. Perhaps the most devastating abuse a child can experience is that of being neglected, of being treated as if he did not exist.
When Christianity entered the world the status of the entire family was elevated.
God commands husbands and wives to love and respect one another.
God tells Christian parents, “You have a responsibility to your children.”
A. The Warning
A. The Warning
—“Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.”
Specifically, don’t cause them to be angry.
Paul elaborates on this in Col. 3:21 , where he writes,
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged (or broken in spirit).”
There are at least 4 ways parents tend to do this to their children.
Through Control
You can be so controlling that your children begin to resent you and when they become adults, they will go to the other extreme with their kids because they dont want their kids to grow up like they did.
I believe their is a far balance that needs to be put into place. as parents we must protect from harm and the evils of this world but we also must teach them why we keep them from it.
We must protect and guide them, but we as parents especially as christian parents, we can protect so much that it causes them to run far the other way when they leave the home
Lets have a good balance. Protection without guidance leads to control, but Guidance without out protection leads to...
Through Overindulgence
You can just take hands off and give them total freedom.
When that happens, you communicate to them a sense of insecurity and a lack of love. They are taught to expect everything they ask for in life. They come to believe they are entitled to anything they want in life.
Through Expectations
If you aren’t very careful sometimes you can break their spirit over unrealistic expectations.
Sometimes dads are so anxious that their sons excel athletically that they push them too far.
Or moms are so desirous that their girls be beautiful that they push them too far.
In some children, it’s never enough.
If they excel, they could have done better.
I want to encourage you that every time there is a word of criticism for your child, give two words of praise.
Every time you say a negative be sure you say two positive things about your children.
Through Neglect
The average parent spends about 30 minutes per week talking with his or her children. That’s not nearly enough.
Mom’s and Dad’s, heres an oh me moment, if your phone gets more of your attention then your children, you are neglecting them.
Parents, we have a great responsibility given by God.
They are an heritage which means they are God’s possession that has been intrusted to us to take care of and protect.
when you neglect your children, with your face in that phone, taking to myself here, guess what you are doing?
You are neglecting God’s property.
You are not being the husbandman over the vineyard.
You are neglecting the fruit and guess what?
God might just remove the husbandman or he may remove the fruit.
We as parents need to check up.
B. The Command
B. The Command
—“Bring them up”
—That carries the idea of training of your children and of bringing them to the place of maturity.
Paul tells us two ways that we are to go about bringing up our children.
1. Parents Are To Discipline Their Children
1. Parents Are To Discipline Their Children
—The word “nurture” is the same word that is translated sometimes as “chastisement”. Which means discipline.
That brings up the whole matter of discipline.
Talk about woopin and hitting.
Look here, Children need to learn that there are boundaries in life. They need to learn that there are rules they have to obey.
To learn this, they need to be disciplined when they cross the line. Failure to discipline your children when they are young will cause them to have little respect for any authority when they grow up.
If they don’t learn respect in the home, they will have no respect for teachers, principals, or the Lord.
In contrast to that, listen to what the Bible says.
• Pro. 13:24, says, “He that spareth his rod, hateth his son. But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”
• Pro. 22:15, says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”
Ill. Susannah Wesley, who raised 17 children, including John and Charles Wesley, and who most would consider to be somewhat of an expert said this about discipline,
“The parent that studies to subdue self-will in his child works together with God in renewing and saving a soul. The parent who indulges it does the devil’s work, makes salvation unattainable, and does all that in him lies to damn his child, soul and body forever.”
- The word “nurture” also carries the idea of “education and training.”
Parents have the responsibility of teaching their children the things they need to know about the Lord.
We are to expose them to the Bible.
We are to teach them the Word of God.
We are to help them understand the Gospel.
We are to teach them right from wrong, based on when the Bible says.
Parents are to educate and train their children in the ways of righteousness and holiness.
2. Parents Are To Direct Their Children
2. Parents Are To Direct Their Children
—The word “admonish” means “to teach by means of words”.
There is no underestimating the importance of the things you teach your children.
It is essential for parents to spend quality time and quantity time with their children.
It is essential that you communicate love constantly to your children by eye contact, by hugging, by physical touch. It is important that you communicate to them by means of positive words, being very careful of the words you say and the tone of your voice when you say them.
Now, I know my dad loved me dearly mainly because of Prov. 13:24.
But my dad was not very good at expressing His love, when I was younger. A matter of fact, the first time my dad told me His was proud of me was when I graduated the Fire Acadamy. It was then that our relationship did a 180.
But what my dad did while I was growing up was teach me. He taught me many things, I can weld becasue of him, I can run a tractor because of him, I can do many things that a man should be able to do becasue I had a father that took time to teach me. I wasnt the best listener but he still tried.
Talk about how to many parents today use tv to teach their children
Parent, you should also be evangelists in your home.
You should do everything possible to bring your sons and daughters to faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. In Deut. 6:6–9, God commanded the people is Israel to teach their children. We have the same responsibility to our children today.
Application
Application
Live right before them. Openly talk about your faith. Love them unconditionally, Teach them the Word of God.
They will learn exactly what they observe in your life. They need to know that God blesses faithful people. If they see us enjoying the great blessings of the Lord, they will want the same things for their own lives.
Let’s show them that serving God is the only way to live, and that obedience to the Lord always pays off.
Let’s show them that God’s way is the best way. It is far better to raise a religious fanatic than a heathen.
When your parenting duties are over, your children will be a living memorial to your investment in their lives.
You can’t teach them to honor the Lord if you don’t honor Him.
You can’t teach them to be faithful if you aren’t faithful.
You can’t teach them to love the Lord if all you do is encourage them to love the world.
So, we are to teach them both by what we say and by what we do. We already influence their lives by what we say and do anyway, so we might as well strive to get them both right.
Conclusion
Conclusion
May I remind you that it is far easier to build a child then to repair an adult!
May the Lord help us to do everything in our power to be the best parents we can be to His praise and glory.
Now, how would you feel if your child grew up to be a Christian just like you?
Would you be pleased with that? Or, are there areas that need the Lord’s attention?
If we have made mistakes, and who hasn’t, there is help, forgiveness and renewal in the Lord.
Some parents actually need to apologize to their children for living contradictory lives before them.
• Any change must begin with the Lord. Mom and Dad, is everything right in your relationship with the Lord?
• Is everything all right in your relationship with your children?
• Children is everything right in your relationship with your parents?
If there are needs, please bring them to Jesus right now.