Extreme Makeover: Relationship Edition
Colossians • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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A couple of weeks ago we began to look at this section of Scripture and discussed the counter-cultural aspect of the Christian home. Today we are going to continue that thought, but also look beyond the home and address other RELATIONSHIPS we find ourselves in, especially in those relationships where we may find ourselves under some type of authority…such as our jobs.
As we move from marriage we now take a look at the relationship between children and parents...
Notice Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
Children, Obey Your Parents in Everything
Children, Obey Your Parents in Everything
Parents have the responsibility to lead their home and to direct their children, and children have the responsibility to honor/respect their parents and obey them!
Rod Dempsey and Dave Earley put it this way:
Parents are to be the primary agents of spiritual formation for their children…Mom and Dad, it’s your responsibility to talk to your children about the King of kings and Lord of lords....Spiritual formation is not just about words either; they need to see your good example of following Christ.
Keep in mind there are 168 hours in a week. Most children that attend church are here between 1-3 hours of that week. So that means there’s another 165 hours that they are not being directly influenced by their church family. Depending upon their age and the schooling scenario, they are at school another 30 hours of that week, they are sleeping 40-60 hours a week, so that only leaves you a limited amount of time to POUR INTO THEM THE WORD OF GOD and instruct them regarding OBEDIENCE and RESPECT! THIS TAKES BEING INTENTIONAL!
It’s also important, for the children to understand and realize, when they are old enough that rebellion against a parent’s instruction is also rebellion against the God who said, “Children obey your parents in the Lord.”
Mom and dad it’s not easy, and depending where you are in child rearing it may take a lot of work, patience, and difficulty, but remember who God put in charge of the home. As your children grow older you will give them more freedom, and more opportunities to make decisions, but ultimately God has assigned YOU the responsibility to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Don’t let your child dictate to you what is and what isn’t going to happen. Don’t train them that if they whine and cry enough you will eventually let in. When you do that, you may think you are training your children, but in reality your children are training you!
ILLUSTRATION ABOUT HARPER (night time snack)
Let me say this to the kids here. If you have given your heart to Jesus and dedicated yourself to follow Him, then you can’t respect God’s authority, if you are unwilling to respect the authority of the ones He gave you to be your parents.
Don’t get me wrong, I know there are some nightmare scenarios that kids are going through, and there are parents who take advantage of their children, and abuse them. If you are living in that scenario call the authorities and get some help. Tell a trusted adult.
But that’s not what we are talking about here. We are talking about honoring and obeying YOUR parents when they tell you to do something that is not sinful. You may not want to, you may not feel like it, you may not be in the mood to do it,
BUT GOD’S WORDS SAYS THAT WHEN YOU OBEY MOM AND DAD YOU ARE PLEASING THE LORD!
As we come to the concluding remarks that Paul makes about the home we see that addresses the men once again (although ladies I think there’s something here for you too)...
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Fathers, Do Not Provoke Your Children
Fathers, Do Not Provoke Your Children
What on earth does it mean to “provoke” your children. The Greek word literally means, “make resentful, stir up embitter, and irritate.” Paul says don’t make your children resentful, lest they become discouraged.
Paul says don’t stir up your children to embitterment, lest they become discouraged.
Paul says don’t irritate your children lest they become discouraged.
Joseph Excell says these are some ways that parents provoke their children:
Making unreasonable demands.
By being a jerk
By having an out of control temper
Constant rebuke, while offering little to no encouragement
Men, we must remember we are SERVANT LEADERS, not AUTHORITARIAN DICTATORS. We are not seeking to break our child’s spirit. We are seeking to provide loving, firm guidance.
We should NOT be the kind of dad that John Newton had (the man who wrote Amazing Grace). He said this about his dad:
I know that my father loved me—but he did not seem to wish me to see it.”
If all your children ever hear is criticism, rebuke, correction, excuses, and they never hear praise, appreciation, love, and encouragement…I believe that is a really quick way to PROVOKE and DISCOURAGE your children.
One commentary said:
"Praise for well-doing rather than constant criticism will, along with loving discipline, help rear children in "the training and instruction of the Lord."
We need to remember guys, that not only will we stand before God one day and give an account for how we treated our wives, but also how we treated our children…the children that He gave us!
William Barclay put it this way:
The really new thing about the Christian ethic of personal relationships is that all relationships are in the Lord...In any home, the tone of personal relationships must be dictated by the awareness that Jesus Christ is an unseen but ever-present guest...The thing which settles any relationship is that we are all servants of the one Master, Jesus Christ.
As we conclude today’s message notice Paul’s words in Colossians 3:22-4:1
Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality.
Masters, give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
Serve Others in the Right Way for the Right Reason
Serve Others in the Right Way for the Right Reason
I want to take a moment and address the “bondservant” issue. These individuals were slaves in a sense. Some of these had given their hearts to Christ and they have an earthly master, but more importantly they have a Heavenly master.
Keep in mind Paul is not condoning slavery, especially the kind of slavery that went on in so many nations during the 1700-1800’s. Paul was simply addressing the culture and practices in which the people and Christ followers found themselves. There were 60 million slaves during this time in history! According to Wiersbe many of them were well-educated and usually served in the homes of the wealthy to educate and discipline their master’s children. How were the Christian bondservants to respond?
Paul says they were to “obey” their earthly (fleshly) masters. It’s interesting that he uses the same word for “obey” here as he did for children obeying their parents in the earlier verse we just mentioned.
Notice Paul also mentions that they should “obey their masters according to the flesh.” In other words Paul was recognizing these individuals had a “fleshly/earthly” master and they also had a Heavenly Master (the Lord Jesus). As long as they weren’t asked to do something contrary to their real Master—the Lord—then they were to seek to honor and obey their earthly masters.
Paul also challenged them not to obey with “eyeservice as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God.” In other words they weren’t just to do a good job when their earthly master was watching and then slack off when they went away. They were to serve with “SINCERITY.”
By the way there is much we can apply to our employer/employee relationships here. If you just work hard when the boss is around, you are not serving with sincerity. The real BOSS is always watching and ultimately we should be doing our best for Him!
Notice again what Paul said in Colossians 3:23
And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,
Ultimately you aren’t serving Ingles, or Kearfott, or the bank, or Meadowbrook Church, or the small business owner that signs your paycheck…YOU ARE SERVING THE LORD AND YOU ARE HIS REPRESENTATIVE.
So drive that truck, pull that wire, stock those shelves, make those phone calls, paint that wall, cut that grass, clean those toilets, file that paperwork...
And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,
Believers in Jesus CANNOT serve just to get a paycheck. We represent our Lord and Savior to a lost and dying world, full of our co-workers!
Could you imagine how quality and productivity would increase if every Christian employee would serve their employers with genuine concern as if they were serving God Himself?!
Warren Wiersbe said:
A Christian worker ought to be the best worker on the job. [They] ought to obey orders and not argue. [They] ought to serve Christ and not the boss only, and [they] ought to work whether anybody is watching or not. If [they] follow these principles, [they] will receive his reward from Christ even if [their] earthly master (his boss) does not recognize [them] or reward [them].
Not only that, we have the privilege to receive something far greater than a paycheck…notice Colossians 3:24 again:
knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.
Your ultimate Master is not the One who signs your paychecks but rather is the LORD CHRIST!
Now notice what Paul says about those who refuse to honor those in authority over them.... Colossians 3:25
But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality.
I love what the Faithlife Study Bible says about this verse:
Faithlife Study Bible Chapter 3
God does not make unfair distinctions between people, treating some better than others. Therefore, He does not condone the use of social status or our identity in Christ as license for wrongdoing.
Finally, Paul addresses those in a position of authority in Colossians 4:1
Masters, give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
He reminds them that they are not the ultimate master! They will have to answer to Him for how they treat those who serve under them! So he instructs them to give to those who serve under them what is “JUST and FAIR.”
Conclusion:
Wherever we find ourselves in life, whether a parent or a child, whether a employer or an employee, whether a husband or a wife, whether a widow or a widower, whether dating or single…we all deal with various relationships
It’s important to keep the following things in mind:
Recognize and Honor God’s Authority in Every Relationship
Recognize and Honor God’s Authority in Every Relationship
It matters not what type of relationship you are in, as a child of God, you are under His authority.
We will be answerable to Him for how we treat others, and others will be answerable to Him for how they treat us. Operate under His authority, not your own!
Choose to Allow God’s Love to Flow Through You to Others
Choose to Allow God’s Love to Flow Through You to Others
God’s love is KIND
God’s love is PATIENT
God’s love does not PARADE ITSELF
God’s love is NOT RUDE
God’s love is NOT SELFISH
God’s love VALUES the TRUTH
God’s love is ENDURING
Use Your Position of Authority to BLESS, not EMBITTER!
Use Your Position of Authority to BLESS, not EMBITTER!
Whether you are an employer, or a parent, God wants to use YOU as a conduit of His love and blessing to those He has placed in your care!
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