The Beauty of Marriage
Notes
Transcript
Today we are going to walk through a series on marriage and family. Marriage and family are the bedrock of every society. The healthier our marriages are, the healthier our families will be, and the healthier our society will be. Wherever you buy books from, there are sure to be countless books on marriage, parenting, and family, but the primary source in which the church should derive its understanding of marriage and family must be the Bible. So, over the next couple months, we will be addressing these topics.
While we may joke about it until Jesus comes back, marriage is a beautiful thing. It is a challenging thing, but it is a beautiful thing. The first human relationship was a marriage. God created the man, then the woman, and then joined them together. Genesis 1:26-28 says,
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
So man is made in God’s image. One of the chief ways we are made in God’s image is that he made us to rule over the earth. God has also made them male and female, and he has made them to multiply. The very first command God gives to mankind is to be fruitful and multiply. Multiplication is an aspect of ruling the earth. Man and woman together exercise dominion over the earth through bearing children who will also be fruitful and multiply.
The second chapter gives us a more close up view on how the events of creation unfolded with a particular focus on the man and his learning to exercise dominion over the earth. Beginning in verse 7 it says,
Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.
Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.
The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely;
but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”
Notice the man is alone. Eve has not been created yet. God has already provided instruction and has given Adam purpose. Adam had a job: cultivate the garden and keep it. To cultivate means to work the land. The garden of Eden was not a work-less environment. The word keep means to guard it, or keep watch over it. Adam’s job was to go to work and be in charge. He was given freedom to eat from any tree except for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.
The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.
God knows it is not good for the man to be alone. He isn’t figuring this out as he goes. There is a plan in place. He forms all the animals and brings them before the man. Adam gets to name them whatever he wants and that is its name. What is God doing here? He is teaching Adam how to exercise dominion (authority) over creation by letting him name the animals. But, none of them are suitable helpers for Adam.
So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.
The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.
The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Don’t miss the order of details here. God is the first person to say that it is not good for the man to be alone. God is the one who initiates the creation of the woman from Adam’s rib. God is the one who is aware of the situation and takes the steps to rectify the situation.
So God brings the woman made from Adam’s rib, presenting her to him. This is the first marriage ceremony. Look at Adam’s words again in verse 23. At last. After naming every other living creature and seeing nothing that looked like him, there she was in all her splendor, in all her glory, this one is called Woman. She was taken from man. What I want you to see here is how in the second chapter of the Bible woman is valued, cherished, and coequal with the man. Together they are to exercise dominion over the earth. Together they are to fill the earth and subdue it. Together they exist in marital relationship and this was all instituted by God, not each other. None of this was Adam’s idea. God did it because it was for the good of the man that he not be alone. Marriage is God’s idea. He initiated the relationship.
Marriage is the union between one man and one woman for a lifetime.
Marriage is the union between one man and one woman for a lifetime.
I want you to remember that God does this from the outset of human existence. Marriage was not something invented by Jews or Christians. We are not the ones who claim to define what marriage is. God invented it. He reserves the right to define it. We are merely acknowledging that which God has already ordained. Because he ordained this from the outset of human existence, this is the definition of marriage for all cultures. We would reject the idea that the definition of marriage can change from culture to culture. Marriage customs are different, but the definition of what a marriage is should be consistent across all cultures. Therefore, we must reject any claim that seeks to legitimize marriage that does not match the definition. This includes same sex unions, a union between one man and multiple women, a union between one woman and multiple men, or a union between a human and a nonhuman.
This means the church cannot bless same sex relationships. A same sex ceremony will never take place in this building. I cannot officiate one. To do so would be to bless a union God does not bless, and I cannot undermine the authority of God’s word. If marriage is defined as a union between one man and one woman for a lifetime, then anything else is not a marriage. It is masquerading as one.
God has defined marriage as a union between one man and one woman for a lifetime.
How do we know God intended marriage to last a lifetime? Let’s look at Jesus’ words in Matthew chapter 19:
Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?”
And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
The Pharisees are trying to trap Jesus in his words. Jesus appeals to the authority of Genesis by quoting 1:27 and 2:24. The two become one flesh, but what does that mean?
We obviously are not literally one body when we marry our spouses. We are two individuals, but one flesh. So how does that work? While we may be two bodies physically, a marriage is to become a single entity to the degree that the lines between who you are and who your spouse is begin to blur. It is not what I do verses what you do, but about what we do. There is a unity in purpose and direction that does not exist outside the relationship.
Then Jesus said, “What God has joined together, let no man separate.” God is a covenant making God. He covenants with his creation and the very first thing he does is establish a covenant relationship between the first two people.
Marriage is a covenant relationship.
Marriage is a covenant relationship.
Look at what Jesus said there. “What God has joined together,” not what man or government has joined together. Marriage should be seen as the joining of a man and woman together in covenant relationship. God is a covenant making God, so if God is the initiator of marriage, then he is calling two people to covenant together through a relationship called marriage.
The last four words are, “let no man separate.” We understand that from the numerous biblical examples and these words, God intends marriage covenants to last the lifetime of one of the covenant parties. “Til death do us part” is an expression used in vow recitals to provide understanding that God intends for us to live out this relationship until it is dissolved through the death of the husband or wife. The wedding ceremony ought to be a recognition of the joining God is doing and the witnesses testify to the legitimacy of the union.
Marriage illustrates the relationship between Christ and the Church.
Marriage illustrates the relationship between Christ and the Church.
The purposes of marriage are many. There is companionship, procreation, parenting, and more, but God has a greater purpose in mind for marriage. The apostle Paul writes on this in Ephesians 5:22-33.
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
because we are members of His body.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
This text will get its own treatment in the coming weeks, but I want you to pay attention the way in which a husband is to love his wife. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. The way a husband loves his wife models how Christ loves his bride, the church. The relationship between husband and wife becomes a picture of the relationship between Christ and his church. The way we live out our marriages is a testament to the relationship we have with Jesus. What picture of Jesus is being displayed by your marriage? We will explore this further in coming weeks.
APPLICATION:
Cherish your marriage first. Your relationship with your spouse takes precedent over every other relationship. You left your family to form your own. That doesn’t mean you abandon your parents, siblings, or extended family, but they get bumped down the priority list. Parents, this also means that your relationship with your kids cannot take precedent over your relationship with your spouse. Your spouse should be #2 right next to Jesus himself. Foster that relationship. Strengthen your foundation.
Strong marriages build strong families, which build strong churches, which build strong communities. We are a community of believers who ought to assist one another in strengthening our marriages. I want to recommend one resource to you. There is a book called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. The good news is that his book was made into a video curriculum series which is available on RightNow Media. The course has a participant guide which does cost a few dollars, but the material is excellent. I highly recommend it and the numerous other resources you can find through that app. Do everything you can to strengthen your marriages. It is the bedrock of society and the bedrock of the family of God we call the church.