Forgiving Others
Notes
Transcript
9 In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name.
10 Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.
13 And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
16 “Moreover, when you fast, do not be like the hypocrites, with a sad countenance. For they disfigure their faces that they may appear to men to be fasting. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.
17 But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face,
18 so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.
Forgiving Others
Forgiving Others
Forgiveness can be tough to talk about in our world. We often hear people saying sorry without really meaning it, like, "I’m sorry you feel that way," or, "I didn’t mean to hurt you." These kinds of apologies don’t really fix things and can make the person who was hurt feel like it's their fault. It can actually cheapen forgiveness.
Sometimes, especially in church, we force people to forgive. People tell others they have to forgive, even if they were hurt really badly. But that's not fair. It's like blaming the person who got hurt instead of the one who did wrong.
Talking about forgiveness is hard, especially when we read verses like Matthew 6:15 that say if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us. During Lent, a time when we think about our sins and try to make things right, it’s tempting to ignore these tough verses and just focus on praying and fasting. But Lent is also about facing the tough stuff in life, like our sins and how we treat others.
So instead of ignoring the hard parts or just saying we need to forgive, let’s really think about what forgiveness means and why it's important. It's not easy, but it's worth it for our own growth and healing.
Hypocrisy
Hypocrisy
In Matthew 6, Jesus talks about how people in his time were being hypocritical in the way they practiced their faith. He specifically mentions three common practices: giving to the poor, praying, and fasting.
Giving to the poor was something many people did back then. Jewish people would give at their synagogues, and others would give at their temples. But instead of doing it out of kindness, some did it to get attention and praise from others. They wanted to look good in front of everyone, even if their hearts weren’t really in it. Some even saw it as a way to get something in return from the gods.
The Old Testament conveyed the message that God had a special concern for those in need, and Jewish teachings emphasized that in response to God's generosity, it was fitting to offer assistance, known as alms, to those who were less fortunate.
In verse 3, Jesus tells his followers to keep up this practice. He doesn't like the idea of giving to the needy just to get praise and attention from others. Whether the idea of announcing donations with trumpets in verse 2 was real or just a way of speaking, the point is the same: trying to get public recognition for doing good things is hypocritical. Instead of truly caring, the focus is on getting noticed.
Praying was also a common practice, both among Jewish people and pagans. But again, many did it to show off. They wanted others to see how religious they were, rather than truly talking to God. Jesus told a story about a Pharisee who prayed with arrogance, thanking God he wasn’t like sinners. But Jesus praised the tax collector who prayed humbly and sincerely. Pagans, on the other hand, often prayed long, fancy prayers, thinking that the smarter and fancier their words were, the more likely the gods would answer them.
Fasting was another widely practiced tradition during this time. In Jewish culture, fasting was a part of their religious law, while pagans fasted with the hope of gaining favor from their gods. However, fasting wasn't just about abstaining from food; it often became a public spectacle.
Many people who fasted during this period went out of their way to make themselves appear more destitute, as if they were suffering greatly. This outward display of hardship was a way to show others how devout and pious they were. Some even went as far as to mark their faces or clothing to emphasize their self-imposed suffering, all in the pursuit of public approval and admiration.
But Jesus challenged this practice. He taught that fasting should be a private and sincere act between an individual and God, not a performance for others to witness. Instead of seeking recognition from the public, Jesus emphasized the importance of fasting with a pure heart and genuine intentions.
Jesus advises us not to neglect these important practices, but to perform them in private to avoid hypocrisy.
When the prophet Samuel went to Bethlehem to anoint God’s choice to be the new king he was impressed with the looks at Jesse’s oldest son. God spoke to him and said:
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
When you give, do it in secret, so discreetly that even your left hand doesn’t know what your right hand is doing. By keeping your acts of kindness anonymous, you won’t seek praise or recognition from others.
When you pray, do it privately and simply. God doesn’t need fancy words or flattery. Instead, approach prayer with sincerity and reverence, focusing on connecting with God rather than impressing others.
When you fast, continue with your daily activities as usual, without drawing attention to your fasting. The purpose of fasting is not to gain praise or admiration but to grow spiritually. Keeping your fast private allows for genuine personal growth without seeking external validation.
As we internalize Jesus's teachings on private devotion, we come to understand the importance of authenticity and sincerity in our spiritual practices. Now, let's delve into another vital aspect of our faith journey: forgiveness.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Jesus's teachings on forgiveness are deeply intertwined with the broader theme of hypocrisy, as seen in the arrangement of his instructions in Matthew 6. Sandwiched between guidance on prayer and fasting, Jesus's teaching on forgiveness highlights the importance of authenticity in our religious practices.
There are two aspects of forgiveness that Jesus addresses: forgiving economic debt and forgiving sins.
In Matthew 18:21–35, Jesus tells the parable of the unmerciful servant, illustrating the hypocrisy of receiving forgiveness but refusing to extend it to others. This parable underscores the concept of debt, both financial and spiritual. The man had a debt that owed and was way more than he could ever pay in multiple lifetimes. The man is forgiven, yet when he sees a guy who owes him a few bucks he has him thrown into debtors prison.
In the Lord’s Prayer, the phrase "forgive us our debts" reflects this understanding, emphasizing the cancellation of both financial and moral obligations. Forgiveness liberates individuals and families from the burdens of debt, whether economic or emotional.
However, forgiveness is sometimes misused to pressure survivors of abuse into pardoning their perpetrators. It's crucial to recognize the power dynamics at play: the abused, often lacking power, are unfairly expected to forgive, while the abuser holds the authority to grant forgiveness. This contradiction challenges the narrative of forgiveness as solely the responsibility of the wronged party.
In Jewish tradition, people saw following God's commandments as duties they owed to Him. When they failed to fulfill these duties, they viewed it as accumulating debts or sins. The term "forgive" in Greek means to let go or release. So, forgiveness is like releasing someone from the debts they owe you in a relationship.
According to Matthew 6:12, the condition for getting forgiveness from God is to forgive those who have wronged us. It's like a trade-off: if we don’t forgive others, we won’t receive forgiveness from God. This idea is emphasized in verses 14–15, making it clear that if we refuse to forgive those who have hurt us, we won't be forgiven by God either. It shows how important forgiveness is in our relationship with God and with others.
Numerous studies attest to the psychological benefits of forgiveness. While forgiveness should be encouraged, it should never be coerced or manipulated. Instead, it should be approached with sensitivity and understanding of individual journeys toward healing.
Forgiveness is a complex concept that holds great importance in our spiritual and emotional well-being. It's essential to recognize that forgiveness should never be used as a tool for manipulation or coercion. While forgiveness can bring healing and peace to those who offer it, it should never be forced upon someone or used as a means to justify ongoing wrongdoing.
God desires our health and happiness in all aspects of our lives—physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and sexually. Therefore, while forgiveness is both encouraged and practiced, it should never be wielded as a weapon or a shield in toxic or harmful relationships. Healthy boundaries must be maintained, and forgiveness should not be used to excuse or enable harmful behavior.
In Matthew 6:14–15, Jesus's teachings on forgiveness are not intended to be used as a threat against others. Instead, they serve as a call for introspection and self-reflection. During Lent, a period of collective reflection on our own shortcomings, we're reminded not to focus on the faults of others but to examine our own capacity for forgiveness.
It's significant to note that the following chapter in Matthew warns against judging others, reinforcing the importance of humility and self-awareness. Rather than condemning others for their lack of forgiveness, we're called to examine our own hearts and our willingness to extend grace to others. This shift in perspective guards against hypocrisy and promotes a spirit of compassion and understanding.
Now that we've talked about forgiveness and its importance, let's think about ourselves a bit. Imagine if we took a closer look at the things others owe us, like money or apologies. Sometimes, even small stuff can cause big problems in relationships.
Self-Examination
Self-Examination
So, what if we decided to forgive those debts? How would it change things for us and for the people we forgive? Forgiving could bring a sense of freedom, letting go of the weight these debts carry. It might even help repair relationships that have been strained.
Let's think about how forgiveness can make a difference in our lives and in how we relate to others. This idea challenges us to see things from a different perspective and encourages us to be more understanding and forgiving in our interactions.
Let's think about the things that others have done to hurt us and whether we're still holding onto those hurts. Maybe we're waiting for an apology or some kind of change from them. But while we wait, what are we missing out on? What parts of our lives are being affected by holding onto that hurt? Is there something we can let go of to feel more free?
Sometimes, without even realizing it, we might be asking others to forgive us for things we've done wrong, while we're secretly hoping to be praised for being forgiving. But true forgiveness doesn't need an audience. It's something we do quietly, just like how we pray and give without seeking attention.
Have there been times when we've pressured others to forgive us in unhealthy ways, like by bullying or harassing them? How can we make things right in those situations? And how can we create a safer environment for people who have been hurt?
On the other hand, have there been times when we've been pushed into forgiving someone when it wasn't right for us? Remember, God doesn't want us to be harmed. So, is there something we need to do to live a better, happier life?
Lastly, let's take a look at ourselves and see where we've messed up and need to ask for forgiveness. What does a genuine apology look like? And how can we seek forgiveness while still respecting the boundaries of others? These are important questions for us to consider as we think about how we can grow and improve in our relationships with others.
Forgiveness isn't just about saying sorry or letting go of minor grievances. It's about releasing the weight of hurt and resentment we carry from past wrongs, whether they're small or profound. When we recite the Lord's Prayer, we're not just reciting words; we're envisioning a world where everyone is treated equally, where grudges and resentments have no place.
During Lent, a time of reflection and repentance, we're called to confront the difficult truth of forgiveness. It's not easy to let go of pain, especially when the wounds run deep. However, we acknowledge that holding onto grudges only perpetuates suffering, and God desires peace and reconciliation for all.
Moreover, Lent reveals our own shortcomings when it comes to forgiveness. Sometimes, we may seek validation for our acts of forgiveness or find it easier to point out others' faults rather than examine our own hearts. This period of self-reflection encourages us to confront our hypocrisy, make amends, and strive for a more genuine form of forgiveness.
As we embark on this journey of forgiveness during Lent, we seek solace in the knowledge that God is compassionate and forgiving. We draw strength from the example of Jesus, who demonstrated boundless mercy and forgiveness. And we trust that by embracing forgiveness and letting go of our burdens, we can experience true freedom and healing in our hearts and relationships.
Imagine a backpack filled with heavy rocks. Each rock represents a hurt, a grudge, or a past mistake that we carry with us. As we go about our lives, the weight of these rocks burdens us, slowing us down and making each step more difficult.
During Lent, we're invited to examine the contents of our backpack and consider whether we're ready to let go of some of these rocks. Forgiveness is like removing those heavy burdens from our backpack. It lightens our load and allows us to walk with greater ease and freedom.
However, forgiving isn't always easy. It requires strength, courage, and vulnerability. Sometimes, we may need to forgive others who have hurt us deeply. Other times, we may need to forgive ourselves for mistakes we've made.
As we journey through Lent, we're encouraged to take each rock of resentment, anger, or bitterness and release it into the hands of God. In doing so, we open ourselves up to experiencing the transformative power of forgiveness, both for ourselves and for others.
Just as a backpack feels lighter when we remove its heavy burdens, so too does our heart feel lighter when we release the weight of unforgiveness. And as we continue on our Lenten journey, may we walk with renewed strength, grace, and compassion, knowing that God walks with us every step of the way.