Common Ailments: Forgotten Forgiveness
Notes
Transcript
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This month - we are looking at Common Ailments.
We know the church is to behave as a hospital for sinners - this is a medical facility, a place where people come to receive care. The members of the church are part patient, part staff. We are all challenged with helping one another to get better.
Sometimes we look like a nursing home, just providing day to day care as we move closer and closer to going home.
Other days - we look more like an emergency room, bringing everyone together - pouring all of our resources a few bigger situations.
And just like natural medical facilities - we have some common ailments - sicknesses that all of us, as staff, need to know how to identify, treat, and prevent.
We have things that it seems like we struggle with significantly more often than others.
Last week - we dealt with Identity Sickness.
Where we find ourselves living in such a way that our identity is defined by an outside source, instead of being aligned with what Jesus has called us. That can be where someone mistakes our identity, where it is stolen from us, and when we just plain forget it.
All of those things can be a pretty significant problem, because our identity - who we believe that we are - dictates what you do, how you act, the way that you respond to the world around you. Our identity has to be based in Jesus. When its not, we are sick.
Today we are diving into another one of those illnesses you might get - Forgotten Forgiveness.
Forgotten forgiveness - is when another person sins in a way that is against you, and you forget to forgive them. Sounds pretty simple - but it can have a devestating impact on yourself and those around you.
Just like last week, we are going to look at 4 things that will help us to understand this sickness.
A baseline - what is normal? Where are we supposed to be.
Diagnosis of the sickness.
Treatment, once you know you have that problem.
And prevention.
<BASELINE>
Our primary passage of scripture this morning comes from the book of Ephesians.
30 And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by him for the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice.
32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.
From there we get our baseline.
As people who are forgiven of our sins we are to be people who forgive those around us of their sins against us.
14 “For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well.
Forgiveness is the release of any expectation that a debt will be repaid or that an offender will be punished. It is a relinquishment of rights to make things right.
And we are called to make that effort. When someone does something wrong to us, our response is to be forgiveness.
The bible does not give instructions on how big or small that sin might be, and it does not limit the number of times that we are called to do it. In fact, it is the opposite, we are called to an infinite number of forgivings.
A healthy christian, is one who when they are hurt by someone else is able to forgive that person of their transgressions.
Debts - debtors. Tresspasses, those who trespass against us.
When we pray the lords prayer - we ask for just that.
Consider the offense / the debt - think about it. It is important to be intentional here.
Surrender the offense and all rights to punishment, to the Lord.
Direct your mind to good things.
Work for the good of the one who offended you.
<DIAGNOSIS>
So if that is healthy - you are probably sick when you:
1. Partially forgive.
2. Forget to forgive.
3. Refuse to forgive.
Partial forgiveness is where you forgive someone of some of the things that they've done wrong, but determine that some things are too big or too bad to forgive.
This can also happen when you try to forgive too quickly. Someone sins against you and you don't take the tom to fully process that. You just jam it under the guise of forgiveness. And say you're moving on. This is dangerous because forgiveness hasn't actually happened.
In some cases this is basically medical malpractice. You performed a procedure, but left the scalpel in the patient. And the patient is you.
And so the wound can't heal.
Forgetting to forgive comes when we are living our lives so fast that we just ignore the things that are happening to us and around us.
Because forgiveness is an action - it takes some effort.
In the real world this is a little bit like that game of where did that bruise come from?
How did that scratch get there?
How long have I had that mole, is it cancer?
Refusing to forgive is probably the most dangerous.
This is when we decide that a person must be punished for their actions, and we take it upon ourselves to make that happen, even if the only thing that they receive is hatred in our hearts.
And there is the problem.
The hatred stays in our heart.
The wounds can’t heal.
In fact, because you left evil inside you - an infection grows. And you die, from something that could have very easily been treated.
How do you know:
Eph 4:31
31 Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice.
When these behaviors start to manifest in our lives, it is very likely that we have failed to forgive.
When we start to see it in others, it is very likely that they have forgotten to forgive.
When the people in this room start to change - it is likely because they have failed at some point in the forgiveness process.
12 we labor, working with our own hands. When we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it;
23 when he was insulted, he did not insult in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten but entrusted himself to the one who judges justly.
Treatment:
Process of forgiveness.
Consider the offense / the debt - think about it. It is important to be intentional here.
Surrender the offense and all rights to punishment, to the Lord.
Direct your mind to good things.
Work for the good of the one who offended you.
3 Know that the Lord has set apart the faithful for himself; the Lord will hear when I call to him.
4 Be angry and do not sin; reflect in your heart while on your bed and be silent. Selah
5 Offer sacrifices in righteousness and trust in the Lord.
19 Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.
20 But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head.
21 Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.
We forgive as the Lord has forgiven us.
make the grace that you receive from God the measure of forgiveness that you offer to others.
30 And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by him for the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice.
32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.
20 For what credit is there if when you do wrong and are beaten, you endure it? But when you do what is good and suffer, if you endure it, this brings favor with God.
11 “You are blessed when they insult you and persecute you and falsely say every kind of evil against you because of me.
12 Be glad and rejoice, because your reward is great in heaven. For that is how they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
<PREVENTION>
Story of Joseph. Gen 37-50
Born into position of favor.
Hated by his brothers, even though he never really did anything wrong to them other than to receive favor from their father.
So they took Joseph, threw him into a pit, sold him into slavery in a foreign country eventually to a man named Potiphur.
And told their dad he was dead. They put blood on his coat, to make it look like he had been totally devoured.
through all of that, Joseph honored God.
He was approached by his masters wife for shenanigans - and in that situation, most men probably would have done differently than Joseph.
Joseph said “I cannot dishonor my master or my god”
And it got him into further trouble, which God used for his good.
Eventually making it to a place where he was at the very top of the leadership in Egypt as they prepared for famine.
And famine struck.
So his brothers came.
Years had passed. They didn’t recognize who he was, he looked like, talked like, acted like an Egyptian. But he saw his brothers and had compassion.
He didn’t trust them right away. In fact, the opposite was true. He played the part of the Egyptian, so that he could learn about his father, and about his brothers. And then he brought all of them to egypt.
And he loved them. And cared for them. And provided for them.
Gen 50:15-21
15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said to one another, “If Joseph is holding a grudge against us, he will certainly repay us for all the suffering we caused him.”
16 So they sent this message to Joseph, “Before he died your father gave a command:
17 ‘Say this to Joseph: Please forgive your brothers’ transgression and their sin—the suffering they caused you.’ Therefore, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” Joseph wept when their message came to him.
18 His brothers also came to him, bowed down before him, and said, “We are your slaves!”
19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God?
20 You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result—the survival of many people.
21 Therefore don’t be afraid. I will take care of you and your children.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
Are we required to forgive, when the offender has not repented?
There are many who would argue that we aren’t. If they don’t ask for forgiveness, then we don’t have to forgive them.
But.
What does that allow in us?
As we walk through this life.
26 Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger,
Common because:
Forgiveness is Hard - Hurt is real.
Forgiveness does not mean that we are suddenly approving of the misbehavior of others. It means that we surrendering the right to punish.
Trusting in God.
When people sin against us, 1 of 2 things are true. Only two options.
They will repent, and come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. And they will be wholy forgiven by the creator of the universe. I have no right to punish someone he has forgiven.
They don’t repent. And the Righteous judgement of God will be far worse than anything that I can give to them.