The Gospel-Centered Household

Gospel for Home • Sermon • Submitted 3 months ago • Presented 3 months ago

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The Gospel transforms the heart of our homes to trust God’s authority by… 1. Listening to His Voice, 2. Treasuring His Commands, & 3. Feeding on His purposes.

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Title: The Gospel-Centered Household Text: Eph 6:1-4 (02-25-2024)(Children, Parenting, household)

Opening: Everyone today online seems to be an expert when it comes to raising children. TikTok, Facebook, Youtube, Psychology Today… Everyone knows what you should be doing and has advice for you to follow. I remember realizing as a youth leader that I could tell parents or youth what they should do from Scripture but often the question was would they actually trust God more than themselves, and their culture. We are living like fish in the swamp of our current day and age. How do you listen to God’s Word? How are you obeying God’s Commands?

One Reader’s Digest writer wrote: “One child makes a home a course in liberal education for both himself and parents; two children make it a private school; three or more make it a campus.” But many parents today are not sure that they are up to being professors in this university, and even then they are unsure of what should be offered in the curriculum. Today let’s look at God’s Word together for clarity on His Authority and provision for our homes.

FCF: The world struggles to follow God’s design in parenting households today. We believe the lies rather than trust God’s Word and Gospel! We don’t want to accept our God given household commands for children and parents. We need God’s wisdom to fight cultural-shift.

Main Idea: The Gospel Transforms our hearts to obey God’s Authority by... ( 3 Commands that display the a heart of obedience to God.)

Ephesians 5 continually challenged us to trust God more than we trust ourselves. We are called to submit to Christ and submit to each other out of reverence for Christ. If we are filled and controlled with the Spirit, grounded in the Gospel, and centered on God’s Word… Our homes will be lovingly different from the world at large. Husbands will put their wives first, wives will respect their husbands. Now we turn to God’s commands for children and parents. We need to desperately hear from God in how we order our homes in this time and place. We need to see that our children are the most important blessing and treasure given to parents. What an amazing privilege when we are given children by God.

Listen to God's Voice. (v1)

Children (Teknon- child, son; This word is often used of progeny flowing from spiritual parents; Who do you follow?)

Christ changed the way we see women treated in Eph 5:22-33, elevated to equals in created order. Children are also given a much improved status in Roman culture. “A Roman father had absolute power over his family. He could sell them as slaves; he could make them work in his fields, even in chains; he could take the law into his own hands, for law was in his own hands, and he could punish as he liked; he could even inflict the death penalty on his child. Further, the power of the Roman father extended over the child’s whole life, so long as the father lived. A Roman son never came of age.” -Barclay

The power of life was in the father he could reject a child at birth and they would be left to die. One Roman father wrote to his wife from Alexandria: “If—good luck to you!—you have a child, if it is a boy, let it live; if it is a girl, throw it out.” Against such pagan cruelty the new relations of parents to children and children to parents brought by the Christian gospel stand forth like sunshine after a dismal storm.

We were born children of wrath. (v2:3)(Stop listening to your heart listen to God’s heart in His Word!)

2 Timothy 3:1–5 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. (This culture refuses to love God and obey Him more than they love self, following their hearts to death)

Romans 1:28–32 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them. (How much does God abhor disobedience? God calls rebellion as witchcraft. Purged from the land completely.)

We are now called to imitate God as beloved Children. (v5:1)

We were once in darkness now walk in light of the Gospel. (v5:8)

God changes the source of authority! Children were not usually addressed in Greco-Roman Household codes.

obey your parents! (obey is a much stronger verb than submit (wives v5:22). Showing more obey-command relationship!)

Obey is to hear, listen, & act according to the command. A servant that listens for a knock at the door to answer it. Quick obedience to obey.

Obedience is the fundamental relationship of children to parents. It is not an absolute obedience (not a wicked/un-Christian thing), and it ought always to be obedience rendered in the context of a loving parent-child relationship. It is a true obedience, guided…by love. -Boice

Col 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (Children you are called to obey in all things when it comes to your parents authority!)(Habitual lifestyle of obedience to the LORD! We must obey to live in God’s goodness. Sin sends us to hell! Only Christ saves us through His holy sacrifice on the Cross.)(From Natural Law but we need God’s supernatural heart change to act)

In the Lord! (To obey means we need to see our lives and relationships rightly under King Jesus, not self-directed.)

For this is right! (Christ is Righteous and shows what is right through Himself, His Word, by His Holy Spirit.)

Children are to obey, “for this is right.” This is not confined to Christian ethics. It is recognized and taught by all the world’s cultures, both ancient and contemporary. Children owe obedience to parents. -Boice (Children know that Jesus obeyed His parents, submitting to their authority! )

Treasure God’s Commands (v2-3)

honor your father & mother! (Rightly ordered love of family in God’s economy. Seeing God’s view our role/tasks)

Honoring carries the idea worth & price; a high value. (appraisal, to value highly/esteem; Ex 20:12 & Dt 5:16)

Jesus speaks strongly that we, like the Pharisees can speak evil of (revile) and still claim to honor. We can explain away God’s commandments they revoked/voided the Word of God. This shows the heart is broken and evil. They “honor with lips but the heart is far from me”, Jesus said. (Mt 15)

Jesus speaks of honoring the Son/himself honors the Father. We value Christ above this world & life itself. (J 12:26)

Christians- 5th command starts second tablet, Rabbi’s- Under honoring God. Stott agues this is surely right.

Obedience to parents is part of our relationship to God, therefore disobedience to parents is at heart a spiritual rebellion. Under Jewish law death was proscribed for anyone who cursed his or her parents or was incorrigible in relationship to them. -Boice (Parents stand for authority!)

Father’s you are to represent God’s loving care to your children. Children you are to honor/value your Father and Mother. (Through Christ we have access to the Father by the Holy Spirit v2:18)

Honoring and obeying while connected adult children are still called to Honor Father and Mother all of life. (Honor is tied to God’s Divine Word. We are called to go out of our way to honor, value the parents God has given us to.)

Look for ways to honor your parents. Write down things that God brings to mind. Pray for your parents. (faithful)

First, obedience and honor are right relationships; they are grounded in natural law.

Second, they are a Christian duty; they are to be exercised “in the Lord”, in the Ten Commandments.

Third, they are enforced by a promise, that it will “be well with” those who practice them and they will “enjoy lengthened life in the land.” This is God’s promise to work sovereignly in families He has brought together. It is a general promise that God’s material and physical blessing rests on those who work at being Christians in these relationships. We must Glorify God and enjoy Him in the homes we are placed in.

First command with a promise! (God knows that children need to be encouraged in a world filled with rebellion. God has given you your parents for the reason to reflect His goodness and authority. NT 5x Mt 15,19; Mk 7, 10; Lk 18; God’s Word)

It may go well (Prosper in God’s economy. this would be connected to being well/living at peace & wholeness.)

You may live long on the land (The length and quality of days are connected to this command. Applies to Paul’s readers and us today. The ten-commandments hold universal applicability. God’s design for our days here & future. )

Feed on God’s Purpose! (v4)

Fathers (& mothers) (Greco-Roman/Jewish Fathers were responsible for education and discipline of children. We are given our children to prepare them for eternity not just the here and now.)(Both parents are God’s ordained authority in the home. )

It is a great responsibility of us as parents to point our children to God , calling them to obey us and see a shadow of God’s authority in our role in the home. Parents this is a daunting task in an age that seeks to undermine the authority of the Father & Mother. We need God’s help. Fathers are addressed as the head of the home and called to lead and serve as the authority that God has set up in Natural and Divine Law. The Head represents the whole but works to build up and support the Mothers role. Don't undermine each other but look to Christ’s call to obey Him.

Provoke not your children in anger (“excessively severe discipline, unreasonably harsh demands, abuse of authority, arbitrariness, unfairness, constant nagging and condemnation, subjecting a child to humiliation, and all forms of gross insensitivity to a child’s needs and sensibilities.” How are you living and loving in light of the Gospel? This is a general command for Fathers to lead-serve not abdicating.)

The negative part involves restraint. Fathers are not to “exasperate” their children but are rather to exercise their authority as fathers in a balanced way. In the parallel passage in Colossians Paul tells fathers, “Do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged” (Col. 3:21). -Boice

discipline must nevertheless “never be arbitrary (for children have a built-in sense of justice) or unkind. Otherwise, they will ‘become discouraged.’ (Christ did not revile but laid down His life for us on the Cross. We are far worse than we think inside.)

Almost nothing causes a child’s personality to blossom and gifts to develop like the positive encouragement of loving, understanding parents. (Christ’s Sovereign grace has given you children/grandkids. He loved us and went to the Cross to save us.)

Barclay tells of the testimony of the distinguished painter Benjamin West in this respect. He was young, and one day his mother went out, leaving him in charge of his younger sister Sally. In his sister’s absence he discovered some bottles of colored ink and decided to paint his sister’s portrait. He made an awful mess. But when his mother came back she said nothing about the terrible ink stains. Instead she picked up the piece of paper on which he had been working and exclaimed, “Why, it’s Sally!” Then she stooped and kissed him. Benjamin West used to say, “My mother’s kiss made me a painter.”

Martin Luther - “Spare the rod and spoil the child—that is true. But beside the rod keep an apple to give him when he has done well.”

Bring up in Discipline (To bring up means to nourish & cherish. Christ does this for the church. We are to care for and rear children to maturity not just in this life but Spiritually leading them in the Grace and Gospel of Christ. Discipline carries the idea of overseeing teaching/education/pointing them to what is most important! Christ is all in all. Show them Jesus!)

paideía relates to the upbringing of children, who need direction, teaching, instruction, and discipline. Both the way of education and the goal are indicated by paideía. -Kittel (Point to Christ is Good News, Beautiful News, True news. How are we making Christ known as we walk?)

Instruction of the Lord (To Instruct carries the training through verbal instruction: exhort, warn, encourage, and rebuke; Heb. 12:5-8; “of the Lord”- How are we focusing instruction toward Christ bring their lives to understand faith and hope are first and foremost found in and through Christ!) [The Word reforms our thinking, breaks down barriers, & brings us to Christ]

“to direct one’s mind to.” At first it is used in the broad sense “to perceive,” but later it means only “to perceive mentally” and then “to think,” “to understand,” “to intend,” and “to know” as a function of the mind (noús). How are you directing the heart (kardía), but also the sphere of the mind. In the NT the verb has such senses as “to note,” “to grasp,” “to recognize,” “to understand,” and “to imagine.” -Kittel How are you getting to the heart and mind of your children?

(both of these words Instruction and discipline encompass the idea of learning & growing into What God calls us to be. Paul addresses this…)

Directing the whole life heart & mind toward Christ. Thinking & teaching with lives pointed to the Creator, Redeemer/Lord! Changed in Him

[20] But that is not the way you learned Christ!—[21] assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, [22] to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, [23] and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, [24] and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph 4:20-24)

Fathers to do this unless we know what the Word of God teaches? How are we to teach with wisdom unless we have learned in Christ’s school? Obviously fathers we all fail at times in this great task unless we are growing in Godliness. We must be studying the Bible. We must be seeking to live by it and practice it in their own daily lives. Parents (and especially fathers) must be models. Howard Hendricks says, “Children are not looking for perfect parents; but they are looking for honest parents. An honest, progressing parent is a highly infectious person.”

When children go astray it is not necessarily the parents fault. The first example of child-rearing in the Bible should teach us that. We know that Adam and Eve were a sinful man and woman after the Fall, as we all are. But they were undoubtedly model parents nonetheless. They were highly intelligent and knew God intimately. Moreover, they are numbered in the godly line of the age before the Flood, the line which contained such outstanding spiritual giants as Enoch, Methuselah, and Noah. There is no question but that they raised their children to know and honor God. Yet in spite of this their first child, Cain, turned out to be a murderer. Why? The Bible says it was the result of the outworkings of his own sinful heart.

So I say to parents: If your child has abandoned the Lord and is living a worldly life, it is not necessarily your fault. Do not abandon hope. God has called many such children. Your duty is to continue to live as Christians and pray for your child regularly. “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:16).

I want to say a word to those who have not had godly parents. The fact that your parents did not teach you about the Lord or lead a consistently godly life is unfortunate for them and a handicap for you, but it is not an excuse for your failing to be what God would have you be as his followers. I spoke of Cain, an ungodly son of godly parents. But when I think of Cain I inevitably also think of Joseph, who is a great contrast. Joseph’s father was not particularly spiritual, and he was raised in a family environment that was not conducive to any high standards of behavior. His brothers were spiteful, profligate, and violent. Joseph was carried away to Egypt. He had no outward spiritual support. Yet he had determined in his youth to follow God, and he did it even through adversity. He was never turned aside by outward circumstances.

The communication of faith from generation to generation within the context of a genuinely Christian home. It is hard for children to learn to obey their parents. It is hard for parents to bring their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Without the Gospel changed heart it is impossible for the world is against us. The world wants absolute autonomy and will attempt to destroy any established structure to get it. It will try to destroy our families. It will try to get us on its side. But it need not succeed. We can live as Jesus tells us to live, and God can and will bless our homes.

Response:

These commands come from God and flow through the Gospel (Eph 1-3) We must see all of life under Christ’s rule and reign as our risen King. Paul clearly communicates through God’s instpired Word that we are to walk in God’s Wisdom(5:15) filled with God’s presence (5:18). The controlling image is that we need God’s salvation through Christ and that we now have the resources of God’s very Spirit that fills us up with our triune God’s supernateral presence (Sail-boat leaning into the power of the wind which fills the sails). When we obey as children we obey in the Lord’s power. When we train/instruct bring up we do so dependant upon the Gospel to change the heart and the Holy SPirit to empower obedience of the impossible, apart from God, commands. (3rd use of the Law!)

Paul encourages children to obey and honor parents with three motivating aspects: (obey(young) and honor(old) parents, called to…)

It is right/proper

God commands it to be done

There is great reward here and in the future.

Paul calls us men to take particular interest in the leadership of our homes. Serving our wives. Engaged in the training and education of our kids towards God’s Word and modeling what it means to Love God & the Gospel with all our heart, soul, mind, & strength.