Why does everyone/everything annoy me?
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Pray
Pray
Th
Today we are thinking about the question that many of us may have grappled with at some point in our lives: "Why do I find everyone and or everthing so annoying?"
For some of us this might just be a question we treat more lightly.
A kind of ‘Wow! People are annoying’
Or more of a frustrating ‘why does everything always go wrong’
I say that quite alot every time I try and print something and the paper jams.
I should probably get a new printer!
BUt it’s a reality that life is frustrating, and people are difficult.
For some, for many often - this is much more than just the regular frustrations of life and annoyance of people.
This can be a real and painful reality of life - exposing our struggles, pain, and brokenness with our feelings and attitudes towards other people,
or towards our life circumstances.
We can find we really do ‘hate’ people, or circumstances.
The irony that then plagues us though, is that in our hatred, we often deep down, know that we’re not much less annoying that those we can’t stand.
So, Whatever level we engage with this sort of question - we’d all love to know if there is any help.
Is there anyway out of this cycle of annoyance and hatred.
pause
I was curious as I prepared this talk, as to what the typical advise would be for this sort of problem,
so I ask who everyone asks these sort of questions to,
Mr Google.
And google gave me the following reasons why we might struggle with this type of attitude :
1. You consume too much alcohol or caffeine.
2. You don’t get enough sleep
3. You’re not getting enough exercise.
4. You’re over working yourself
5. The environment or the people around you aren’t healthy.
6. Unresolved issues are starting to resurface.
7. Your standards are too high.
Of course some of those things will help - but in reality, we all know, that however hard we work on those things - they will only ever be temporary and we’ll only see mild improvements.
they wont make us happy.
They wont’ stop our printer jamming,
they wont stop the fool who cuts us up in traffic,
they wont stop our loved ones getting ill,
they wont make our jobs easy and joyful!
They wont remove all hatred and replace it with happiness.
Sadly, the reality for us humans is that hate and annoyance is part of life.
We see it in the news headlines,
on social media,
and sadly, even within our own hearts.
It manifests itself in various forms: racism, anger, resentment, and bitterness.
It's poisons relationships, communities, even nations.
But what if there was a way to fight this annoyance and hate and replace it with a deeper sense of joy?
Wouldn’t that be good news?
I’ll let you into a little spoiler about the end of this talk, and that is that the bible - if we’re prepared to believe it, does offer us joy.
Not a 1 way ticket to avoid all annoying situations - as we’ve already said no human can avoid life - and life is annoying!
But a way to understand the annoyances of life, a way to have a joyful perspective on life,
and a place to look to find joy even in the most terrible of times.
Would you like that to be true for you?
So to get there - let’s start with some home truths.
I’m going to read a few verses form a letter in the NT of the bible.
written by a follower of Jesus called Paul,
Paul, is writing this letter to a young man he has mentored and loved as he were his own son.
And the purpose of this part of the letter is to actually encourage this young man, called Titus, as he teaches others, to behave in a joyful, loving and compassionate way despite the annoyance of life.
And What’s interesting is Paul reminds Titus first of how he also used to struggle with exactly what we’re talking about!
Hatred from and with life and people around.
But he’s found the cure…
Listen to this
At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.
Isn’t that refreshing.
The bible, doesn’t sugar coat life like our current culture does.
Which says as long as ‘you do you’ and are ‘true to yourself’ - then you’ll be happy.
If I’m honest I’m not sure I’ve ever met a person who experiences that - or really believes it.
The bible is simple - people are the problem.
You and me are the problem.
we really do
‘live in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.’
The Problem is You and Me
The Problem is You and Me
Now Paul is obviously writing form the position of being a Christian who wants to obey God’s commands becasue he trusts God instructions for life more than his own.
SO of course he’ll say he ‘was foolish and disobedient’ to God before he knew God.
But he also says how
he used to be ‘enslaved to all sorts of passions and pleasures’ - well that’s true of us all isn’t it - we live for, we’re enslaved for - what makes us happy.
In fact - that’s why life and people so often annoy us, becasue they get in our way of pleasure.
And so, secondly he says - He lived a ‘life of malice and envy and being hated and hating others.’
When people and life around us annoy us, we’re either envious of theor sucess and happiness, or we just hate them for messing up our life a bit!
In other-words PAUL found life and people annoying - and he’s honest enough to admit he was part fo the problem!
And this is where we have to start - if we want to escape the misery of life and instead find true joy and peace.
We have to start BY ACCEPTING 2 things.
1 - If there is a good God then we have failed to live rightly by his standards
2 - We are also, therefore, part of the problem
This is what the bible calls sin.
Don’t be put off by that word as if Christians are judging you
- no I’m a sinner - we’re all sinners.
no one is judging you - apart from God himself!
And that’s not becasue he mean or heartless - it’s becasue he is good and wonderful and gracious.
That’s in fact exactly what Paul writes next..
Titus 3:4–5 (NIV 2011)
But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.
If God was kindness and love but just didn't care or ignored our sin, our hatred, our annoyance, our disobedience or ignorance of him - well he’s wouldn’t be very wonderful.
He’d not be able to offer us anything more than we already have.
He’d just go - yep life sucks - and I don’t really care.
Instead he says - yep life sucks and you’re the problem - so I will do something about it for you!
So the root of hate might be you and me,
but the solution to hate or sin, is not you or me - that would be hopeless,
We wont find answers inside of ourselevs or in ‘you being you’
You might as well go back to drinking less and getting more sleep - it’s like putting a little bandage on a broken spine.
No,
The Solution is a Loving God
The Solution is a Loving God
Listen to what Paul says next - He explains a little how God deals with our sin without ignoring it - and offers us freedom from our hatred and annoyance with life, people and even ourselevs.
But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Saviour, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
Those words sound complicated maybe - but they are quite simple.
We are - in our sin - the problem
God, who is kind and loving saves us!
god is the solution to our problem - he saves us.
Not becasue of anything we have done NO,
but becasue of his mercy!
He washes us clean, Paul says.
He gives us a new life,
and not just s little bandage but he gives us the HS to live in us - he literally makes us new.
That’s why Paul uses the language of ‘rebirth’ - we can be born again’.
Our old hating, annoyed, frustrated and sinful self now dies as it were,
and by God’s love and mercy he gives us new life by his Spirit who can live in us.
And how does all that work?
How is it that God remains good, and deals with hatred and misery and evil without just ignoring it?
end of v6 and into 7,
it is…
Titus 3:6–7 (NIV 2011)
through Jesus Christ our Saviour, so that, having been justified by his grace.
It’s through Jesus Christ our saviour, who justifies us by grace.
IN other words, as the whole bible claims and explains,
Jesus out of love, is God, comes to earth as a man,
so that he can live the perfect life we never can and never will,
and instead of saying - look, i told you it’s possible’,
he chooses to swap places with us.
There is a common illustration to help us understand it.
Imagine a high court judge finds you guilty of a terrible crime and you’re sentanced to life in prison.
But before the you’re taken away, the judge himself stands up and says,
I am innocnent of any crime and entirely free.
So I choose to give my freedom to you who stand condemned,
and I want to be treated and judged for the crimes you have committed.
SO you swap places.
Justice is paid for - the punishment is paid, but by the innocent judge.
and you and I are free, we receive the freedom and innocence of the judge.
We are ‘reborn’ to new life!
That’s not fair though we might argue - well no it’s not! We don’t get what is fair - we get grace - what we don’t deserve at Jesus’ expense.
This is why for Christians, the death of Jesus on the cross is so significant to us.
It’s the moment that Jesus chooses to take our sin upon himself,
And God the Father, with Jesus the son, chooses to punish our sin on Jesus, so we might be free.
Sin is delt with - God is a good and just - God really does have the power now to offer us something while remaining glorious and holy himself.
So many people think God is mean and judgemental - when actually he is glorious and good and Holy - which yes demands he must be just and cannot ignore evil and sin.
And so many people think God must therefore be unpleasant and mean - when in fact it is us who are,
foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We live in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another
slide
And God - even though we are like that, and even though he is just and good and holy,
he chooses to be
slide
kind, loving, revealing, saving, merciful, renewing, generous, gracious.
So, back to the question we started with?
Why is everyone or everthing so annoying?
Well becasue people including us, are sinful. We can’t really help it
- and it’s becasue we have rejected God and his ways and rightly deserve his eternal judgement
- now and forever in what the bible calls hell.
But what about diseases and natural disaters - that’s not my sin is it?
No, but God allowed those things in our world becasue it reminds us and shows us we need him!
If life now was wonderful, then no-one would be sitting here today looking for something better!
The problems in our world actually show us that we need God and his grace and forgivenss.
The world is annoying - you might say, so that we come back to God who is wonderful, by saving us through his son Jesus.
So,
What does
The Future with Jesus
The Future with Jesus
look like?
does that mean we no longer get annoyed or find hatred in us if we repent of our sin and seek to follow Jesus?
Well yes a no!
In God’s eyes - we are now not haters and sinners.
Jesus has taken the judgement from us.
But while we still live in this life, we’re not going to be able to avoid sinning - so annoyance and hate a real thing to have to learn to live with.
But we no longer face it alone.
And we no longer think that this life is all there is.
YOu see if, this life is all there is, then of course we need to get annoyed when someone or something makes it worse!
We’re missing out.
Disease, an impossible boss, a painful marriage, - they are all ruining everything we live for.
Unless - we have come to repentance and faith in JEsus.
Now, we no longer live for ourselevs, and no longer live for this life.
The very last part of our little bible reading today reminds us what we now live for:
so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
Hope - is simply what drives us isn’t it.
We hope for a comfortable happy life, so we’re annoyed when we don’t get it.
But Jesus changes our hope into something sure and certain!
Eternal life with Him - kind, loving, merciful, generous, gracious.
An eternity wiht all the pain and annoyance of this life gone.
And eternity is so long that this life becomes bearable, becasue it’s just a grain of sand before an eternal sandy beach.
The book of Revelation in the bible tells us what life will be like after we die for those who repent and believe now:
Revelation 21:3–4 (NIV 2011)
‘Look! God’s dwelling-place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death” or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’
One day all sin and anoyance and hate will be gone,
but even today, while those things still exist,
a follower of Jesus is no longer affected by them like we used too.
Because our hope is in Jesus and eternal life with him!
This life is not all there is!
So wonderful is Jesus he calls to those who are struggling and says
‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Repent, and have faith, enjoy my grace now and forever.
I was listening to an American pastors sermon on Thursday and he said how someone he visited in hospital with terminal cancer was amused by a note the nurse had written on her chart.
The lady was a Christian and so was not living ruled by her circumstances, and the nurse had wirtten under the ‘Concerns sections’
‘Jane is inappropriately joyful!’
That is what Jesus does for us now. He gives us what the world thinks is inappropriate joy.
Because we’re not living for this life or for ourselevs
We’re living for Jesus who saves us eteranlly.
Repentace prayer - join me in praying by saying Amen in your heart. Talk to me or someone after the servce and tell us you want to follow Jesus.
And join us on our Hope Explored Course starting soon.
Pray - repentacen.