Humble Reflections - Philippians 2:1-4 (Marriage)

Brian Combs

Marriage • Sermon • Submitted 2 months ago • Presented 2 months ago

Philippians 2:1–4

Christian Marriage

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Good morning. Thank you for allowing Carla and I to be with you this weekend. We have had a wonderful time getting to know some of you as we have explored what it looks like to intentionally invest in our marriages.

It’s exciting for Carla and I to see churches getting excited about engaging marriage. With all that’s going on in our world, I believe that our marriages are a primary target for Satan. Think about the state of marriage in our country today:

Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce (Christian and Non-Christian)

54% of children born in the U.S, reach their 17th birthday without a married mom and dad. (Marriage & Religion Research Initiative)

900% increase in cohabitation since the 1960’s (Council on Contemporary Families)

Think about this. With all that’s going on in our country and world today, what role might healthy families play? Do you think our culture would be in a better place if we had more healthy families?

I think our natural answer, as Christians, is yes! Of course! But, what are we, as Christian families…Christian couples, doing to make a difference? It’s not as encouraging to dig into the statistics I just referenced and realize that there is little difference between Christian families and non-Christian families. Why is that?

Think about this…how much do we invest in healthy marriages as a church? 72% of all churches lack a substantive marriage ministry. (Communio.org) Typically, the pastor will perform some sort of pre-marital counseling with an engaged couple. My experience with this has been that most couples are engaged and will be married, whether they are ready or not. Regardless, we do the best we can to prepare couples for marriage. Then, we expect them to figure it out on their own. Most times, we see couples back in our office when they are in significant conflict and close to divorce. Now, it’s our job to fix their marriage. You know, it’s interesting that statistics show that by the time most couples look for help from a counselor or pastor, they have been experiencing significant conflict for at least 6 years. So, no wonder crisis counseling is so difficult.

What is our role in this world as followers of Jesus? What if we could engage differently and help each other experience healthier marriages? There are many things we could do differently. Today, I’d like us to consider one thing that could help each of us whether we are married or not. Young or old.

Main Point:

Today, we’ll be looking at Philippians 2:1-4. I’d like us to consider that:

Followers of Jesus humbly focus on reflecting Jesus.

Introduction:

How does your life focus on and reflect Jesus?

As people in your everyday life observe you, how would they answer that question?

How do you focus on and reflect Christ in your marriage? Friendships? Dating? Work?

As we look at today’s passage we’ll see that Christ-like humility is rooted in the truth of who God is and is a response to his call on our lives to make disciples.

Humility is thinking of others more than ourselves.

It takes intentional work to remind ourselves to focus on the Truth of what God has done for us and to reflect those blessings on to those around us. One commentator wrote:

Paul reminds us that ultimate joy isn’t derived from comfortable circumstances, but from a living, vibrant communion with Christ. He doesn’t say, “Look at my house; now rejoice,” or “Look at my wife … my kids … my bank account.” No, he says, “Look at Jesus, like I am doing, and rejoice with me.” Where will you find meaning and purpose in life? Welcome to Philippians!

Followers of Jesus humbly focus on reflecting Jesus.

Philippians 2:1–4 (NASB95)

Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Pray:

Focus:

To provide a little context… The Apostle Paul is in prison when writing this letter to the church in Phillipi. This was not a new experience for him as he had been imprisoned before for faithfully preaching the Good News of Jesus to whoever would listen. We can look back at Acts 16 and remember Paul being in prison and an earthquake opening the doors. Paul could have escaped, but he stayed and comforted the jailer who was about to take his own life. Paul is writing this letter to a church that he helped plant…

We can see Paul processing through the reality of the situation in the first chapter of Philippians. Look at Philippians 1:6 “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Then, Philippians 1:9–12 “And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel,”

Philippians 1:20–21 “according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

And, finally, Philippians 1:27–30“Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; in no way alarmed by your opponents—which is a sign of destruction for them, but of salvation for you, and that too, from God. For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me.”

So, we see that even though Paul is in Prison, considering his suffering and potential death, he remains focused on living a life worthy of the Gospel of Christ. He is focused on helping others grow in understanding and knowledge of Jesus. He is helping them understand a life with Jesus is a life of suffering. But, that suffering is what produces the growth.

As we come to Chapter 2, Paul is reminding his friends of the mission of Jesus, His love for them and how their focus on loving Him and their neighbor as themselves has served to bring them together.

Philippians 2:1 “Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,”

There seems to be an authentic love between Paul and the Philippian church. So, when Paul is imprisoned, the church understands and feels the intensity of the situation. They understand that he may face death. They are concerned for their friend. And, yet, Paul does not dwell on his feelings, potential anxiety or fears. He is focused on one thing…Jesus’s mission.

Philippians 1:9–11 “And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”

Paul is reminding his friends to shift their focus from the seeming negatives of the situation to the reality that God is working in and through this situation to draw people to Himself. He is focused on the mission.

Are you in a tough situation right now? Have you been? Know someone that is? If not, it’s likely that you will be soon so let’s let these reminders speak to us as they may have to the Philippian church. What would it take to shift your focus?

Consider with me what Paul is doing here. He’s in prison. Most of us would be discouraged and focused on the negatives of being in prison. Paul is helping his friends focus on the Truths of the situation. Even though it may not be what he wants, the reality is that he is so blessed. He’s reminding his friends and it would be good for us to remind ourselves that because of Christ’s work on our behalf,

we have encouragement in Christ,

we have consolation in love,

fellowship with the Spirit,

affection and compassion (mercy)

We deserve none of it, yet We are blessed beyond measure.

In Chapter 2:1, Paul is showing us that we have a choice to make in any given situation. Consider this…Paul focuses here on what they have…If Any…His If Anys assume that there is encouragement in Christ, consolation in love, fellowship with the Spirit, affection and mercy. If I were to put myself in that situation, I think my mind would go to some “If onlys”. Think about how we tend to do this today…

I’d help others more If only I had more time.

If only I had more money, I could bless others.

If only my boss were nicer to me.

If only I wasn’t so sick.

If only things were how they used to be…

We could likely write books about the “If only’s”.

Do you tend to remember what you have or lament what you don’t?

For those of us that know Jesus, we have a choice. We can look at what God has given us...IF ANY…We each experience these things in varying degrees. However, Without Jesus, there is no IF ANY.

There is no:

encouragement in Christ,

no consolation of love,

no fellowship with the Spirit,

no affection and compassion (mercy).

Ultimately, there is no unity. Every person is after her/her own. Every person is after fulfillment, love, fellowship, affection and mercy on their own terms.

I imagine there may be some here today or listening that could relate.. When we look to ourself or others for these things without Jesus, everything we receive will be empty, exhausting, and merely endured.

We put up with our friends because that’s what a good person does.

We listen to our friend because she listened to me one time or I might need an ear one day.

We try to please that boss, parent or friend by exceeding their ever-expanding expectations.

Periodically, we may experience a sense of satisfaction, happiness or peace, but when we really stop and focus on where we are and see the Truth, we realize it’s all empty. What we have is an empty shell of what we really want and need.

So, we have a choice to make and Paul lays out that same choice for his Philippian friends and gives the one imperative command in this passage.

Make my joy complete.

Paul is encouraged by his friends in the Philippian church and in the midst of his imprisonment, he is seeking to encourage them. Then, he says, “Make my joy complete”. Paul is joyful! Paul is in prison and is joyful. Paul is in a place where he doesn’t want to be and yet, he’s joyful.

We can experience joy in any situation if we choose to look to Jesus and trust Him.

Paul has chosen to focus on God’s mission.

Paul is joyful because he sees his friends with the same focus.

Paul is joyful about what He hears about his friends and how they are growing in unity.

He is able to focus on joy in this moment because he is confident in whose he is and what God is doing in and through him.

What does it look like to choose joy?

Think the same way -

Have the same love -

Unite in spirit -

Intent on one purpose -

Same way…same love…unite in spirit…one purpose...

What is our one purpose?

In today’s passage, we’ve read that Paul sets our primary purpose as growing in Philippians 1:9–11 “And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”

What does that look like in your life?

Some folks asked Jesus a similar question:

Matthew 22:36–39 (NASB95)

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”

And He said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’

“This is the great and foremost commandment.

“The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

What does this look like today?

You’ll notice the emphasis is on someone else. Love God…Love your neighbor. Life is not about us. It’s about loving others. It looks like using what we have been given to bless others. I’d like to suggest that loving God and our neighbor as ourself not only looks like focusing on God’s mission and reflecting Jesus to those around us, It looks like being confident in whose we are and what He has done for us. It looks like walking through each situation in life with the confidence that God is with you and is providing what you need along the way.

Reflect:

So, followers of Jesus focus on God’s purpose. Let’s look at what it means to reflect Jesus.

Followers of Jesus humbly focus on reflecting Jesus.

Philippians 2:2–4 “make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

When we are focused on Jesus and His mission,

Life becomes less and less about our agenda and more and more about His agenda.

Life becomes less and less about my marriage or our marriage and more and more about helping others’ grow in their marriage.

Life becomes less and less about my performance at work or school and more and more about helping others in those settings.

Life becomes less and less about us and more and more about others.

Life becomes more and more focused on loving God and loving our neighbors as ourselves.

When people look to or at you, what or who do they see? When they look at your marriage, what do they see?

More of you or more of Jesus?

This about this… When we are focused on ourselves…we say things like:

I want this…this is the way things should happen.

There’s not enough money

There’s not enough time

I’m tired…exhausted.

Living with a focus on me is exhausting, because everything is all about us and everything is all up to us.

When things don’t work out the way we want, it’s never our fault though. It’s always someone else’s fault (Remember Adam and Eve in the Garden.).

The Self-focused life exhausts everyone because we are all out for ourselves and we are all blaming others when our way doesn’t work out.

The relational conflict makes us not want to be around people and makes others not really want to be around us either.

It creates this negative loop that isolates us from others and drags us down this depressing tunnel of self-denial, guilt, shame. Galatians 5 would say this tunnel leads to death.

Now, when we focus on others as Paul is suggesting here, look at the difference:

Instead of I want this…this is the way things should happen. We can still have desires, but we simply give what we have.

Instead of There’s not enough money…we have what we need and we are content with what we have.

Instead of There’s not enough time…we have the time we need.

Instead of I’m tired…exhausted…we are energized.

(Pause) As I read through this list, I wonder if you are having the same thoughts I had earlier this week. But, I’m still tired. I still feel like I don’t have enough money, time, energy sometimes. What’s up with that?

How does this work?

Let’s go back to our Philippians passage.

One reason we are still exhausted is because it’s not only up to us to make this change. It’s up to us as a family of God to make this change together.

MIRROR ILLUSTRATION - How are you using what God has provided? If you are not using it for God’s purposes, it produces death. We need to focus on using what God has provided for His purposes.

We need everyone focused on one purpose. Helping each other grow to be more like Jesus! (Making Disciples)

I’d like to give you an illustration that I hope will serve as a reminder and may possibly help us see some of what’s going on.

This is a mirror. What’s the purpose of a mirror? Typically, we use a mirror to look at ourselves…get ready in the morning, see what’s coming up behind us or around us in the car. When I normally think of a mirror, I think of using it for myself. Imagine with me a world of people walking through life, looking at their mirrors. They are trying to make their own life better. They look for ways to improve themselves. But, when we are focused on ourselves, we are not able to see the obstacles in front of us. We don’t see the hole we are about to fall into. Or, life may seem really easy in the moment until we realize we’ve been walking downhill into a pit of despair. We finally are forced to admit that we are in over our head and we can’t see a way out. Trying to live life on our own is what it looks like to live life without a relationship with Jesus. It may seem to work out ok sometimes, but the truth is you are dead in sin and walking toward an eternity of death and separation from Jesus.

Now, what would happen if we chose to turn this mirror around and focus it on others? To many, this won’t make any sense. You have to be able to look into the mirror to use it. Right? Think about this…How will I know what my hair looks like? How will I know what my outfit looks like? On a more serious note...How will I know myself? How will I be able to see what needs to change…where I can grow? Do we go to an “If only” or “If any” mindset?

Now, what I am proposing is only possible if we have a relationship with Jesus. We can shift our focus from ourselves and our troubles to others because we can Trust that Jesus is with us. He provides and guides. We can make this shift because we can trust that God has provided and will provide what we need in any given moment. If we keep our eyes focused on Him and His mission, we will end up where we need to end up. This shift bring us and others life because it allows us to reflect the love of Jesus to and onto those around us. What can it look like to shift our focus or to turn this mirror around?

How about being able to slow down enough to truly listen to your spouse, your child, or a friend?

How about having a peace and contentedness about what you have? Friends, money, house, car, job...

How about being able to take a sabbath day and truly rest?

How about not buying that gift for yourself and putting the money toward a friend and his/her needs?

How about not going on such an expensive vacation and helping another family get a break?

How about putting what I want to do aside and asking my spouse or family what they want to do?

Remember…the goal is growing our love for God and our neighbor.

Now…I can hear some of you thinking…But, if I turn my mirror around and stop worrying about myself, I’ll end up in the same needy position as my neighbors or even worse some of those people that have it really bad. I don’t want to end up like that...

Two things...

The call is to Trust God to provide. We have a role in that provision which revolves around faithful obedience to Him. He provides what we need in every situation. Often that need comes in the form of blessings from other brothers or sisters in Christ. We need to be focused on living within His provision and leveraging it for His glory.

We need each other. This doesn’t work when we are each focused on ourselves and getting what we want out of life.

It’s interesting when we consider this. Look at what Paul says. He uses this one word that we are not going to like. We don’t like it because it means we are accountable. We don’t like it because it reminds us that we can’t really live life on our own. We actually need other people to live in obedience to Christ. We need other people to grow to be more like Jesus. The word is “Everyone”. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.”

Let me give you another example from Scripture:

Acts 2:42–47 “They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.”

They…everyone…held ALL things in common. They sold their possessions…Distributed proceeds to all…Praising God and enjoying the favor of ALL people.

Now, think about this. This mirror illustration only works if we have multiple people reflecting Jesus or focusing on the needs of others. Imagine if I had a community of people around me with their mirrors focused on me? Imagine if we all lived life truly focused on using what God has provided to bless those around as ANY had need. Man, if only Paul hadn’t said “Everyone”...

So, I ask you this this morning -

What image of Jesus are we reflecting when we struggle with the same physical struggles as the world?

What image of Jesus are we reflecting when our marriages or our relationships look just as rough as those that don’t know Jesus?

What do we communicate about God when a brother or sister struggles in need and we are not positioned nor available to meet their needs with the resources God has provided?

I’d like to encourage you to consider two things this morning:

Take some time to stop and consider where you are. Do you have a growing relationship with Jesus? If so, are you an “If Any” or and “If Only” person? What would it take to choose to shift your focus? Take some time to consider that God has provided what you need in this moment. He is also providing opportunities for you to be a blessing to others in this moment. Are you looking?

If you do not have a relationship with Jesus, let me encourage you make a choice to believe in Him today. If that is you, would you do this with me right now? Would you say a prayer to God in your heart and in your own words. God, I know that I am a sinner. I realize that I can no longer struggle through this life on my own. Would you forgive me for my sins? Would you forgive me for even trying to live on my own terms? Would you come into my heart and be Lord of my life? I don’t even really know all that that entails, but I trust You and will commit to learning what it means to grow to be more like you.

There may be something else that God is dealing with you about today. As we close with a song, I encourage you to reflect and focus on God and what He is saying to you through the Holy Spirit. Then, respond in faithful obedience. If you’d like to come up to the steps and pray, you have that freedom. Pastor David will be here. I would be glad to talk with you.

What ever God doing within you right now, let me encourage you to take a step of faith. Choose to take your eyes off yourself and what you can do for you. Focus on God and being faithfully obedient. Let Him help you deal with whatever consequences that may come.

Learning to do this is the journey. It’s really us learning to be more like Jesus. Jesus was confident in who He was and what He was called to do. He knew who He was. Our journey in this life is one of learning more about who we are in Christ and trusting God to use us for His glory to truly put others first.

Let’s trust God to do what He has done and what He continues to do in and through us. Let’s pray and respond as God leads.

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