Forgive

Maybe someone has offended you. It’s hard to forgive when people hurt you. Maybe like me you have had people you were close to just disappear out of your life. They don’t call… they hang out with other people… go to a different church.

Today is Pastor Kathy and my dating anniversary. Sometime after this we were eating out at Outback and she offered me a bite of her Sinful Sidney Sundae … which I took. But somehow I ate the cherry on the top. 26 years later she is still holding a grudge. Once she offered me the cherry off of her Sundae … it was rancid and she was laughing about that.

Have you ever wondered why God forgives us?

God’s Mercy brings Forgiveness into our lives.

When we look at forgiveness, there are two sides of mercy. Jesus talked about both of these in what we call the Our Father prayer or what I grew up calling the Lord’s Prayer in Matt 6:12

Matthew 6:12 NLT

12 and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.

Once side of forgiveness is when God forgives me and the other is when I forgive others. We are going to discuss both of these tonight.

Let’s define God’s Mercy.

Mercy is God’s undeserved and unearned kindness.

I don’t know about you, but I need God’s mercy in my life and I am thinking that probably many of you need it as well.

Mercy brings freedom into our lives in two ways. So how does this work? How can I apply this into my life? How do I apply it in how I treat others?

Mercy means God forgives me.

That’s good news. It’s better than PB, better than the cure for any disease, better than anything. Mercy frees us and gives us a clean slate … like hitting restart on your phone or computer.

What happens to many of us is that we take this great news and we begin to take it for granted. Many of you right now are thinking, I already know this.

Forgiveness is not a theological concept. It’s a fantastic gift from God that he gives to all of us on a daily basis.

Let me ask, Do you feel forgiven?

Maybe like me you know in your head that you are forgiven, but but maybe you don’t feel it.

There are times when we probably should feel guilty. We do something that’s wrong and we feel guilty. The problems occurs when we never feel forgiven. How many of you when someone asks you how you are doing today answer, Boy, I feel forgiven. None of us do that right? but we probably ought to.

That kind of guilt is actually shame. It comes from your enemy the devil and it draws you away from God. When you feel shame, you don’t want to be around God because you are ashamed. Adam and Eve hid in the garden. Who wants to be around anyone including God who makes you feel ashamed?

When you feel guilt, confess that sin to God and feel His forgiveness, it draws you closer to God.

Let’s look at God’s forgiveness.

1. God wants to forgive you.

God isn’t forced to forgive you. He doesn’t have to. He wants to forgive you. He wants to forgive us because He loves us. Check out Neh 9:17

Nehemiah 9:17 LBP

17 “They refused to obey and didn’t pay any attention to the miracles you did for them; instead, they rebelled and appointed a leader to take them back into slavery in Egypt! But you are a God of forgiveness, always ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to become angry, and full of love and mercy; you didn’t abandon them,

He is always ready to forgive… to pardon us.

Is anyone besides me glad he is slow to anger? I need to do better with that…

Here is another verse about God in Micah 7:18

Micah 7:18 NLT

18 Where is another God like you, who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of his special people? You will not stay angry with your people forever, because you delight in showing unfailing love.

He delights to show us unfailing love and mercy.

Think about things that make you happy… kids doing well… a hobby… After you see these things, you feel good right?

That’s the way God feels when He shows you and I forgiveness. He enjoys forgiving us.

Let’s look at how he forgives us.

2. God freely forgives me

It’s free. There is nothing we can do to earn it or deserve it. He just gives it to us.

Romans 3:23–24 LBP

23 Yes, all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious ideal; 24 yet now God declares us “not guilty” of offending him if we trust in Jesus Christ, who in his kindness freely takes away our sins.

Paul says that we have all sinned and there is nothing we can do to fix it. But he also says that God declares us not guilty. That’s what God does and it’s a free gift.

Now just because it is free doesn’t mean that there was no cost to it. Sin had to be punished and Jesus paid the price for our punishment. So when we make Jesus our Savior and Lord, God freely forgives us of all of our sins. He declares us not guilty.

What keeps people from receiving this kind of gift?

1. We don’t believe it.

You know the saying, if it’s too good to be true, then it’s too good to be true. In this case, it’s not. It’s so simple that people have a difficult time believing it because we too often believe that we have to do something to earn God’s forgiveness. That’s what many religions say, but not Jesus.

2. We don’t think we deserve it.

You come here and you see everyone here at church and think, they all have it together. If they really knew me … what I have done, they would not let me in here. Here is a News Flash for you. They are all thinking the same thing.

So if you are feeling this way tonight, look to your left and your right. They are not as nice as you think. You are not alone.

Someone said,

Every Saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

We all Struggle, I am not minimizing the struggle. But God’s Grace is bigger than any sin we can commit. The Grace of forgiveness is for all of us… it’s a gift God wants to give to everyone.

You may not feel like you are forgiven… for whatever reason. While I am talking about this, you are thinking that you are not forgiven. You don’t have to leave here feeling that way. You can be sure right now.

Salvation Prayer…

As you experience His forgiveness, He sets yo free from the guilt and even shame.

Colossians 1:13–14 NLT

13 For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, 14 who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.

He forgives you and sets you free from carrying that burden that causes you great shame. He sets you free from having to carry that load around.

3. God immediately forgives you.

God doesn’t look at you and go, he’s a bad sinner, I think I’ll let him suffer a little bit. God doesn’t do that and you don’t have to wait. God forgives you right now.

The reason it’s immediate is that Jesus paid the price for your sin and my sin on the Cross. You don’t have to pay the price for that … Jesus paid it in full.

Isaiah 55:7 GNB

7 Let the wicked leave their way of life and change their way of thinking. Let them turn to the Lord, our God; he is merciful and quick to forgive.

Is any one besides me glad God is quick to forgive?

You do not have to feel guilty after you Confess your sins to him. Before you repent and ask for His forgiveness, YES feel guilty.

Courageous - Scene of two officers at the shooting range where the young one one says I’m tired of feeling guilty… news flash, you are guilty

Guilt is like a warning light on a car dashboard. It tells you something is not right. When you see the light, you do something about it.

Years ago, co-workers daughter called him. Her car quit running. When asked, she did mention that a little red light had been on for aa few days and some smoke came up from her hood before it quit. That red light was a warning light.

When you sense a feeling of guilt, turn your attention to the Lord, confess your sins to him and repent from your sins. You do not have to carry that guilt and shame around any more.

4. God completely forgives me.

He forgives them all… even those of yours that you think can’t be forgiven.

Colossians 2:13–14 NLT

13 You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. 14 He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.

He cancelled your record. He cancelled it out like it never happened. Notice, God doesn’t file your sins away so He can remind you about them later. He destroys the record.

Micah 7:19 NLT

19 Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!

If God has gotten rid of our sins and he has forgotten them, don’t you think that you should forgive them too?

Often times we feel like God is out to get us… that he is punishing us for tings we have done. We think that way when things are not happening the way we want them to. Listen. god loves you and He forgives you.

I used to hear people say, they want Justice. I don’t. I want mercy and forgiveness. Check out what James, the half brother of Jesus said in James 2:13

James 2:13 NIV84

13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

God’s Mercy is that He forgives me. But there is another part of forgiveness that we need to talk about. If we miss this, we will be missing out on becoming free. This is difficult to talk about because so many people have deep hurts. I have been praying for the Grace of God’s freedom for you as I have been preparing.

God’s mercy means that I forgive others.

This is where it’s tough. I saw this modeled in my mother and dad. Her step mother put her out as a teen… never held it against her. My dad’s cousins talked another aunt into taking him and his sister out of that aunt’’s will… never held it against them.

I was ready to bust them up side the head. Anybody with me. I struggle sometimes.

One reason that we struggle with this is that we don’t feel forgiven. That’s why it is so important realize that God forgives us freely, immediately and completely.

If I don’t feel forgiven, I will struggle to forgive you.

Another reason we struggle with forgiving others is that we really don’t know what forgiving someone actually means. We have a lot of misconceptions about forgiveness that have nothing to do with what the Bible says about forgiveness. So I have a test for you.

Test

A Person Should Not be Forgiven Until He or She Asks for it. T / F

You Haven’t Really Forgiven Until You Have Forgotten the Offense. T / F

Forgiving InCludes Minimizing the Offense & The Pain Caused. T / F

Forgiveness Includes Restoring Trust & Reuniting a Relationship. T / F

When I See Someone Hurt, it’s My Duty to Forgive the Offender. T / F

The truth is… all of these should be false. Look at the last one. It’s not your responsibility to forgive someone who hurts someone else - it’s theirs. YOU are to forgive the person who hurts YOU. When we interject ourselves into someone else’s issue, we are not being spiritual, we are being rude.

1. Forgiveness is not conditional.

People do not have to earn your forgiveness before you give it. They don’t even need to ask for it.

Ephesians 4:32 MSG

32 Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

We are to forgive because Jesus forgave us… not because they deserve it.

Corrie Ten Boom story

Corrie Ten Boon was in a Nazi Concentration camp during WW2. As a Christian her family had housed Jewish families. And having been found out in Holland they were taken into a concentration camp. Her sister died in that camp. After the war she began to go around all of Europe telling people the Good News of God’s love even in the midst of devastation. And something happened to her.

Listen...She writes, “I was in a church in Munich and I saw him. A balding heavy set man in a gray overcoat, a brown felt hat clutched between his hands. People were filing out of the basement room where I had just spoken. It was 1947 and I’d come from Holland to a defeated Germany with the message that God forgives. And that’s when I saw him working his way forward against the others. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat and the next a blue uniform and a visor cap with a skull and crossbones. It came back with a rush. The huge room at the concentration camp called Ravensbruck with its harsh overhead lights and pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor, the shame of walking naked past this man.

“The man who was making his way forward had been a guard, one of the most cruel guards. Now he was in front of me. His hand thrust out. “A fine message, Fraulein. How good it is to know as you say that our sins are at the bottom of the sea.” And I who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me of course. How could he remember one prisoner among thousands of women? But I remembered him. The leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face to face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze. “You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk he was saying. I was a guard there.” No, he did not remember me. “But since that time,” he went on, “I’ve become a Christian and I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things that I did there. But I’d like to hear it from your lips as well Fraulein.” Again the hand came out. “Will you forgive me?” I stood there. I whose sins had again and again be forgiven and I could not forgive. My sister Betsy had died in that place. Could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?

“It could not have been many seconds that he stood there, hand held out. But it seemed to me hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing that I’d ever had to do. For I had to do it. I knew that. I knew it not only as a commandment of God but also as a daily experience. Since the end of the war I had had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were also able to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives no matter what their physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and horrible as that. Still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion; I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. “Jesus, help me,” I prayed silently. “I can lift my hand. I can do that much. Would you supply the feeling?”

“So woodenly, mechanically I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, it raced down my arm, it sprang into our joined hands. Then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being bringing tears to my eyes. “I forgive you brother,” I cried, “With all my heart.” For a long moment we grasped each others’ hands. The former guard and the former prisoner. I have never known God’s love so intensely as I did then.

What do you do with a story like that? One thing we do is we feel guilty because we are struggling with forgiving someone for something they said, and Corrie Ten Boom was faced with forgiving a Nazi guard who may have been involved in murdering her sister.

Guilt is not a good motivator for forgiveness because the forgiveness will only last as long as you feel guilty. Instead of feeling guilty, look at God. You need strength to forgive and God has the power to give you the strength.

Forgiveness is unconditional towards others because of God’s power of forgiveness towards us.

2. Forgiveness is not forgetting.

Many people think forgiveness is forgetting.... it’s not. The phrase forgive and forget is not in the Bible. Besides that, you can’t forget. How do you forget something horrific done to you. You know it won’t happen so you think that you can’t forgive because you can’t forget.

2 Timothy 4:14–15 NLT

14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm, but the Lord will judge him for what he has done. 15 Be careful of him, for he fought against everything we said.

I believe Paul had forgiven Alexander but he had not forgotten what he did. Paul doesn’t say he wants to get even with him, he says he hopes God deals with him. That’s how we can know Paul had forgiven him… he wasn’t holding onto it… he had given it to the Lord.

As long as you hold onto bitterness in your heart and hands, it will eat at you from the inside out. Turn it over to God.

Rwanda -

ILL - In 1994 the genocide in Rwanda took the lives of a million people in a 100 days. It was often neighbor killing neighbor. People in their own city killing others in their own city. That country had to make a decision. If they were going to continue to last as a country, they had to forgive. So they chose as churches and as a country to forgive. Forgiveness is the theme of Rwanda. And that country has been rebuilt. They have forgiven but not forgotten. They have a memorial showing the genocide. The parliament building there still has bullet holes in the walls and no weddings take place during April because it’s a month of mourning

You need to forgive… to let it go. Put it into God’s hands and let him heal the memories. Don’t worry about forgetting - choose to forgive.

3. Forgiveness is not trusting the person again.

From Paul’s warning about Alexander, it’s plain that he doesn’t trust him and won’t. He is actually warning them to watch out for the guy. We won’t be able to forget as well.

Remember, FORGIVENESS is unconditional, but TRUST is earned. It takes time to rebuild trust. There are cases where you forgive someone but you absolutely should not let them back into your life because of the way they hurt you or someone else.

Forgiveness is not forgetting… not trusting… What is it? Write this down…

4. Forgiveness is releasing it to God.

Paul released it to God. That’s how you begin to heal.

Revenge / Repayment / Resentment doesn’t work. It just brings the pain back into your life over and over. Unforgiveness creates an undertow of emotion in your life that will take you places you don’t want to be.

It’s like being caught in a riptide. A riptide will take you where you do not want to go. Bitterness will take you somewhere you do not want to go.

That’s what unforgiveness does in your life. It will take you places you did not want to go. You will say things you did not want to say. You will do things you did not want to do. You will become a person you never wanted to be...

Unforgiveness destroys marriages, families, careers, and your spirit.

Release it to the Lord.

When you hold onto hurt it becomes hate. When you have bitterness in your life and you don’t release it, you actually begin to resemble that person you will not forgive. Instead of you being the judge, release that to the Lord. Let Him deal with it - Forgive.

When you forgive is sets you free. When you forgive, it means you are giving someone the gift of grace… and releasing them and your bitterness.

Your freedom will spread to others. Forgiveness sets families, companies and nations free. There is POWER in forgiveness.

The world saw an incredible example of that in Charleston SC. At the Bethel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina we saw this example of genuine, honest, real forgiveness. You remember that a young man walked into a Wednesday night prayer and Bible study meeting at the church and killed nine people.

At the arraignment a few days later the church showed up and expressed the kind of forgiveness that the world is not used to seeing. At the arraignment Nadine Collier whose mother was killed said to the perpetrator, “I forgive you. You took something very precious from me. You hurt me. You hurt a lot of people but God forgives you so I forgive you.” The New York Times wrote about that arraignment. “It was as if the Bible study had never ended. As one after another of the victim’s family members offered lessons on forgiveness. Testaments to a faith that is not compromised by violence or grief.” The Wall Street Journal called it a miracle.

And in South Carolina within just days a decade’s long battle was over. The Confederate flag that had been flying over the state capital that represented hate to so many people, that had been battled over for so long, because of their forgiveness the tone changed. The conversation changed. Instead of it being an opportunity for more violence, for more hate it became an opportunity for love and grace and forgiveness. And within days that flag was taken down because of their forgiveness. That’s the power of forgiveness to change you, to change your family, to change everything around you.

Here is how we have the power to forgive. The truth is forgiveness is not something we do, it’s something God has done. It’s a gift that God gave you to pass on to others. Paul said in Col 3:13

Colossians 3:13 NLT

13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Look. These two things are linked. We need to accept God’s forgiveness and forgive others.

Altar Time.

Recap

God Wants to forgive

God Freely Forgives

God Immediately Forgives

God Completely Forgives

We forgive others

Forgiveness is not Conditional -

Forgiveness is not forgetting

Related Media

Related Sermons