Lefty, Hefty, and the Big Stink
Hopson Boutot
Judges: Rebellious People, Rescuing God • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Lead Vocalist (Joel)
Welcome & Announcements (Sterling)
Good morning family!
Ask guests to fill out connect card
2 announcements:
1) Multi-Church Hymn Sing, April 24 at 6:30 PM
Hosted by our sister Pillar Network church, Seaford Baptist.
Three options:
1) Hymn Sing Only - for those coming at 6:30pm
2) Hymn Sing & CFA Dinner - $10/person for a boxed meal at 5:30pm
3) Hymn Sing & BYO Dinner - tables and drinks will be provided at 5:30pm.
2) Evening Gathering, April 28 at 5:30 PM
Typically have an evening gathering once a month
We’ll hear from our missionary Luke Waite on Missions and the Local Church.
Adventure Kids for children ages 0-6th grade.
Call to Worship (Psalm 69)
Prayer of Praise (Audrey Hammond)
Rescuer
A Mighty Fortress is Our God
Prayer of Confession (Ronnie Evans), Lying
Assurance of Pardon (Romans 8:33-34)
No Not One
Strong God
Scripture Reading (Judges 3:12-31)
You can find it on page 238 in the black Bibles
Pastoral Prayer (Sterling)
Prayer for PBC—Biblical theology
Prayer for sister church—Joey & Cali Howell (StoryRunners)
Prayer for US—Against homelessness
Prayer for the world—St. Lucia
Pray for the sermon
SERMON
START TIMER!!!
In one of Charles Schulz’s ‘Peanuts’ cartoons Linus is chomping on a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. He notices his hands and exclaims, ‘Hands are fascinating things! I like my hands … I think I have nice hands … My hands seem to have a lot of character.’
Lucy comes on the scene as Linus continues: ‘These are hands which may some day do marvelous works! They may build mighty bridges, or heal the sick, or hit home runs, or write soul-stirring novels!’
And then Linus excitedly shouts in Lucy’s face, ‘These are hands which may some day change the course of destiny!’
Lucy looks down at them and matter-of-factly observes: ‘They’ve got jelly on them.’ [1]
In many ways the story of Ehud is a story about hands.
It’s a story about God strengthening the hands of a hefty king.
It’s a story about an assassin with a sword in his left hand.
And it’s a story about the mighty hand of God.
But if it’s a story about hands, those hands have jelly on them.
This is a messy, dirty story.
There may be more bathroom humor and schadenfreude in these verses than the rest of the Bible combined.
It’s really easy to be like Lucy and complain about all the messiness in the Bible, especially in stories like this.
Is the Bible body shaming Eglon? Should we really make a pudgy king the butt of the joke?
Should we really celebrate a southpaw assassin?
Do we really need so much gore and potty humor?
Should we really laugh at Moab’s misfortune?
Perhaps for some of you, the very idea of humor in the Bible seems strange and maybe even offensive.
The Bible is supposed to be a serious book!!!
That’s true, the Bible is a serious book, but it’s not so serious that it cannot see the humor in life.
And few stories communicate that more clearly than this story I’ve entitled “Lefty, Hefty, and the Big Stink.”
If you’re not already there, please open your Bibles to Judges 3:12.
It’s going to help you immensely if you’re able to following along in your copy of God’s Word as we study the text together.
It’s also going to help you immensely if you can silence your inner Lucy for this story.
This is not a dignified, serious story. It’s dirty. And hilarious. So lighten up, and enjoy the ride.
The Big idea I hope to communicate from our text this morning is that God delights to use the unexpected.
Most of the humor in this story revolves around the unexpected.
We will see God’s unexpected grace unfold in Seven Scenes that will make up the outline for today’s sermon.
We’ll see an Unexpected Rival in verses 12-14,
An Unexpected Rescuer in verse 15,
An Unexpected Rescue in verses 16-22,
An Unexpected Retreat in verses 23-26,
An Unexpected Rebellion in verses 27-29,
An Unexpected Rest in verse 30, and
An Unexpected Relapse in verse 31
Let’s begin with...
1) An Unexpected RIVAL (12-14)
1) An Unexpected RIVAL (12-14)
Judges 3:12–14—And the people of Israel again did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord strengthened Eglon the king of Moab against Israel, because they had done what was evil in the sight of the Lord. He gathered to himself the Ammonites and the Amalekites, and went and defeated Israel. And they took possession of the city of palms. And the people of Israel served Eglon the king of Moab eighteen years.
Not everything in these verses is unexpected.
We’re only in chapter 3, but we’ve already been trained to expect God’s people to relapse into evil.
And we’re not surprised that God disciplines His people by delivering them over to an oppressor.
This is the Judges cycle all over again.
But what is surprising is the enemy the Lord raises up.
The villain this cycle is a man named Eglon.
The name Eglon literally means calf, which is funny when you look at verse 16 which says “Eglon was a very fat man.”
So Eglon is a fatted calf, he’s a hefty heifer, a big baddie like Jabba the Hut, Ursuala, Baron Harkonnen, or Uncle Dursley.
But he’s also the king of the Moabites.
The Moabites are an unexpected rival for three reasons.
First, they’re relatives of the Israelites.
You may remember from the book of Genesis that Abraham had a nephew named Lot.
Lot fathered two children through some very unseemly means, and one of those kids was the father of the Moabites.
Now the Moabites and the Israelites haven’t always been on the best of terms, but this is a new low.
Second, the Moabites are an unexpected rival because they don’t live in the Promised Land.
SHOW JUDGES MAP
Because of its location in modern-day Jordan, Moab was not among the nations that needed to be driven out.
So it’s a bit surprising to see the Moabites here oppressing Israel.
Like Cushan-Rishathaim from last week, these villains had to travel to afflict God’s people.
Third, the Moabites are an unexpected rival because they are not listed among the nations that God left to test Israel in Judges 3:3-6.
Eglon is a villain that comes out of left field and seems to catch us by surprise.
But there’s one more unexpected development we should consider.
The text says Eglon’s headquarters is in “the city of palms.”
Deuteronomy 34:3 tells us this is a nickname for the city of Jericho.
This is the place where Israel’s most amazing victory occurred. This was the place where the mighty hand of God was revealed.
And now it’s the headquarters of an evil king who for 18 years is growing fat by oppressing God’s people!
Why does all this happen?
The text says “ the Lord strengthened Eglon the king of Moab against Israel.”
As one commentator writes, “It is a comforting thought in these days of nuclear power to realize that God still orders and controls the destinies of nations and overrules the decisions of world rulers, including the most arrogant and atheistic among them.” [2]
—Arthur Cundall
Or as Daniel the Prophet said in...
Daniel 2:20-21—… “Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, to whom belong wisdom and might. He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings…”
In an election year where both sides are telling us democracy and the future of our country is at stake, it is comforting to remember that God is the one who strengthens rulers like Eglon. And God is the one who, when He chooses, brings them down.
Or consider the news coming out of modern Israel yesterday afternoon. Many of you were surprised to learn of Iran’s attack. But God wasn’t.
I wonder if any of you have faced an attack from an unexpected rival.
An unexpected challenge at work. An unexpected medical problem just when things seemed to be going so well. An unexpected betrayal from a friend. A fierce temptation that you were not expecting.
What should you do when unexpected rivals come?
Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Don’t despair.
God is not surprised, He is not shaken, He will not be moved.
And if you belong to Him, your rivals will not win in the end.
Just like Eglon, evil in our day looks strong and powerful now. But God will get the last laugh.
Because God delights to use the unexpected.
So He raises up...
2) An Unexpected RESCUER (15)
2) An Unexpected RESCUER (15)
Judges 3:15—Then the people of Israel cried out to the Lord, and the Lord raised up for them a deliverer, Ehud, the son of Gera, the Benjaminite, a left-handed man. The people of Israel sent tribute by him to Eglon the king of Moab.
Once again, not everything in these verses is unexpected.
Sure, it took 18 years but it’s not surprising that eventually the people cry out to the Lord.
But as we said last week, the word for “cried out” doesn’t necessarily mean repentance.
This is a cry of pain, a yelp for help.
The hearts of the people are not necessarily changed.
And yet, once again we see God’s incredible mercy.
He rescues His people, even when they do not deserve rescue.
But what IS surprising is the rescuer that the Lord raises up.
The text names him Ehud, which some scholars believe is connected to the Hebrew word for “one.” [3]
Perhaps the point is that Ehud is a bit of a loner, which makes sense when you keep reading.
Virtually every English Bibles tell us that Ehud was left-handed. Which is true, but not exactly what the text says.
Michael Wilcock—"God’s chosen deliverer, when he comes, turns out to be a man who cannot use his right hand. That is what the Hebrew phrase means. It is not making the positive statement that Ehud naturally uses his left hand, but the negative one that he is ‘bound’ or restricted in the use of his right. Perhaps it is deformed or paralysed in some way. As an added irony, he belongs to the tribe of Benjamin, whose name means ‘son of the right hand’.” [4]
I still remember the 80’s and 90’s when it was somewhat acceptable to make fun of handicapped people. It is a good thing that such jokes are now frowned upon.
But just imagine how the handicapped would’ve been treated in Ehud’s day. Such people were not only considered ineffective, but also unclean and unworthy. Certainly this man could never be a leader of God’s people.
It’s no wonder the people of Israel chose Ehud, not to be their rescuer, but to deliver tribute.
It reminds of that scene in A Bug’s Life where Flik is sent away on a mission to find bigger bugs to help them fight the oppressive grasshoppers. The council doesn’t send Flik away because they actually believe in him. They send him to get him out of the way. He’s too much trouble, he’s not good for anything else.
And Ehud, the loner, doesn’t appear good for anything else either.
He can use his one good hand to deliver tribute to the hungry hippo king, but that’s about it.
I wonder how many people in this room feel a bit like Ehud.
Broken. Unwanted. Useless. Damaged goods. Passed over. Rejected.
If that’s you, friend, take heart. You’re exactly where God wants you!
The greatest threat to your usefulness is NOT your weaknesses but your delusions of strength.
God loves choosing the weak things in the world to shame the strong! (1 Cor. 1:27)
Just like with Ehud, God loves to draw straight lines with crooked sticks today.
God will get the last laugh.
Because God delights to use the unexpected.
So He uses Ehud to bring about...
3) An Unexpected RESCUE (16-22)
3) An Unexpected RESCUE (16-22)
At this point in the story, nobody has any idea what’s about to happen. But Ehud, the lefty loner, is working on a secret plan to rescue God’s people.
Judges 3:16—And Ehud made for himself a sword with two edges, a cubit in length, and he bound it on his right thigh under his clothes.
There’s a few important details about this sword we need to notice.
SHOW EHUD’S SWORD IMAGE
It’s double edged, allowing it to penetrate the flesh easier.
It’s about a foot long, which means it’s small enough to be concealed underneath Ehud’s robe. [5]
And since most people were right-handed and would fasten their swords on their left side, Ehud is able to conceal it on the right where Eglon’s security isn’t looking.
But Ehud needs to get close enough to kill.
In verses 17-19, it appears Ehud has missed his chance.
He gets through Eglon’s security, but then delivers the tribute and leaves the palace.
He makes it all the way to the outskirts of Gilgal, which is about 14 miles away, before he turns around.
And when he returns to Eglon’s palace at Jericho, Ehud gets his shot.
Judges 3:19—But he himself turned back at the idols near Gilgal and said, “I have a secret message for you, O king.” And he commanded, “Silence.” And all his attendants went out from his presence.
Now once again, there’s a few important things here that may be lost in translation.
Why do all the attendants leave the room when Ehud returns?
Our English translations tell us that Ehud has a secret “message,” but the word there literally means “thing.”
Ehud knows, of course, what that secret thing is, but Eglon does not.
But what is Eglon thinking?
Since the grammatical construction of Eglon’s name is feminine in the Hebrew, some have suggested that Eglon was an effeminate king. [6]
So, perhaps, when Ehud tells Eglon he has a secret thing for him, Eglon’s mind is in the gutter.
One commentator writes that the Hebrew here depicts the sword as the “size and shape… of an exaggerated phallus,” adding to the implication that something sexual is going on in Eglon’s mind here. [7]
Whatever the reason, Eglon dismisses his attendants and meets with Ehud on the rooftop alone.
Judges 3:20a—And Ehud came to him as he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber.
The cool roof chamber was likely on the second floor of the palace. Perhaps there were windows to allow better air flow. Apparently it was a place where the king liked to spend time alone.
And it’s here where Ehud will get his chance...
Judges 3:20b—And Ehud said, “I have a message from God for you.” And he arose from his seat.
Once everybody leaves, Ehud repeats his comments about having a “thing” for the king.
This time he says it’s “from God.”
Ehud does not use the covenant name for God, the name Yahweh.
Instead he uses a generic term for God that could’ve been a reference to any of the false gods that the Moabites worshipped.
Eglon is eager to see whatever this secret thing is, so he stands up.
I like to imagine Eglon saying at this point, “Alright Ehud, cut the crap and give it to me!”
Judges 3:21–22—And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out.
Now at this point, you get to find out which Bible scholars have a sense of humor.
One said “Ehud beats the crap out of Eglon.” [8]
Another said, "his bowels relaxed and discharged their contents" [9]
A much more serious commentator with a love for precision writes, “At this climatic moment without the dagger being removed, Eglon’s anal sphincter explodes.” [10]
The NIV omits the phrase about dung entirely. Certainly we can’t talk about poop in church, can we?
The bottom line—pun intended—is that Eglon pooped his pants.
Or perhaps, if we want to be historically accurate, he soaked his cloak. He pooed in his tunic.
But this wasn’t any old #2 accident.
This was the poop of death.
I like to think Eglon’s last words were, “Oh crud!”
Rest in feces, Eglon.
Okay I’m done.
Perhaps you’re wondering, why is all this in the Bible? I mean, couldn’t it just say that Eglon died without all the gory, stinky details?
If, like Lucy Van Pelt in Peanuts, all we see is mess we’ll miss out on the point.
Dale Ralph Davis—“The glory of this text is that it tells us that Yahweh is not a white-gloved, standoffish God out somewhere in the remote left field of the universe who hesitates to get his strong right arm dirty in the yuck of our lives. The God of the Bible does not hold back in the wild blue yonder somewhere waiting for you to pour Clorox and spray Lysol over the affairs of your life before he will touch it. Whether you can comfortably put it together or not, he is the God who delights to deliver his people even in their messes and likes to make them laugh again; he is the God who allows weeping to endure for a night but sees that joy comes in the morning.” [11]
Years ago we took our family on a tour of some old, historical house somewhere. I can’t remember where. But I remember the tour guide saying something that stuck with me. If people from a few hundred years ago could time-travel into the present, the hardest thing for them to deal with would be the NOISE. Our world is pretty noisy. But if we could time-travel into their day, the most shocking for us would be the smell.
We have deodorant, cologne, perfume, Glade plug-ins, air freshener, and Poo-Pouri.
And I for one am grateful for all these things.
But there is no Poo-Pouri that can get cover over the stench of our sin. And God is not ashamed or afraid to meet us there, to work our a salvation in the middle of all our mess.
If God isn’t willing to step into our mess, than we won’t survive!
And neither will Ehud.
Notice how God delights to use the unexpected in ...
4) An Unexpected RETREAT (23-26)
4) An Unexpected RETREAT (23-26)
Ehud is so gangster, he’s a southpaw assassin who just defeated a corpulent king.
But Israel hasn’t been delivered yet. Eglon may have been a formidable foe, but there’s still an entire Moabite army to reckon with.
And if Ehud doesn’t get out of there alive, the people will likely remain in slavery.
So how is he going to get away?
Judges 3:23—Then Ehud went out into the porch and closed the doors of the roof chamber behind him and locked them.
Ehud locks the doors of the second floor to buy him some time. That part is clear.
But what does it mean he “went out into the porch”?
The word “porch” is only used one time in the entire Bible, and scholars aren’t entirely sure what it means.
It can mean vestibule, lavatory, or air shaft.
The most likely explanation is that it’s some sort of ancient septic tank.
One commentator even gives us a crude image of what this might have looked like. [12]
SHOW EHUD’S ESCAPE IMAGE
Long before Shawshank Redemption, the Bible had it’s own story of a man crawling through crud to escape.
This is just a reminder that following God is often messy.
God promises to be with us in the mess, but He doesn’t promise us things will always be neat and tidy!
Christian, don’t be alarmed when your life gets messy.
Maybe that means opening up your home to someone in need, even if your world gets turned a bit upside-down in the process.
Maybe it means loving people who are very difficult and hard to love.
Maybe it means a hard conversation, confronting a person in love when you’d rather bury your head in the sand.
Andy crawled through 500 yards of sewage before he could escape Shawshank prison. My guess is Ehud’s crawl was a bit shorter.
But there is a sense in which your entire Christian life—from the moment you trust Christ until the moment you see His face—is a crawl through the sewer.
It’s going to be messy. So don’t lose heart, Christian. Just keep going.
Meanwhile, while Ehud is crawling through crud, Eglon’s servants start wondering what’s taking their king so long...
Judges 3:24–25—When he had gone, the servants came, and when they saw that the doors of the roof chamber were locked, they thought, “Surely he is relieving himself in the closet of the cool chamber.” And they waited till they were embarrassed. But when he still did not open the doors of the roof chamber, they took the key and opened them, and there lay their lord dead on the floor.
The servants find that the upstairs is locked. They smell something unpleasant—remember, Eglon is lying dead in his own dung—so they assume that the king is taking care of business. He’s sitting on his other throne.
So they wait. And they wait. And they wait.
If you’ve ever shared a small living space with a lot of people, you’ve probably experienced something like this. You’ve got to go, but someone is in the bathroom for a long time. You wait because you have to, but eventually it gets awkward and embarrassing.
Eventually Eglon’s servants start feeling embarrassed too.
“Maybe Eglon needs more fiber in his diet! Maybe one of us should get him a laxative!”
When they finally open the door and find Eglon dead, Ehud’s escape was complete.
And while the alarm bells in Jericho are ringing to alert Eglon’s army,
God is using Ehud to bring about...
5) An Unexpected REBELLION (27-29)
5) An Unexpected REBELLION (27-29)
Now remember, the Israelite people did NOT choose Ehud as their leader.
They chose him as their tribute delivery boy, but God chose him as a judge.
So imagine their surprise when Ehud raises a trumpet to his lips with his left hand and calls the people to battle.
Judges 3:28–29—And he said to them, “Follow after me, for the Lord has given your enemies the Moabites into your hand.” So they went down after him and seized the fords of the Jordan against the Moabites and did not allow anyone to pass over. And they killed at that time about 10,000 of the Moabites, all strong, able-bodied men; not a man escaped.
The most entertaining bits of this story are already behind us, but there’s two key observations we need to make here.
First, notice that the Moabites are called “strong, able-bodied men.”
That word “strong” literally means fat. It’s kind of our English word “stout,” which can mean strong or chunky.
The point here is that the Moabite soldiers have become just like their king.
You too, friend, will become like whoever you follow.
If your world revolves around politics, you’ll become like the politicians you follow.
If your world revolves around social media influencers, you’ll begin to mimic them.
If your world revolves around entertainment, the values of the entertainment industry will eventually become your own.
Dear friend, if you follow after the world you will also receive the same fate as the world.
The Bible is littered with strong, powerful villains who oppressed God’s people.
This morning in my devotions I read about two of them—Goliath and King Herod Agrippa in Acts 12.
Both of them seemed undefeatable, but both of them were taken down in an instant by the hand of God.
You will not survive if you set your heart and mind against God and His people!
Second, notice that Ehud defeats the villain before the battle. [13]
All the other judges are like an old video game where you beat the boss at the end of the level.
But not Ehud. He defeats his great enemy, then calls upon God’s people to join him in spreading that victory.
This is unexpected, and it’s unlike anything else in the book of Judges.
And it should remind us of another Rescuer who defeats His people’s greatest enemy, THEN invites them to follow Him.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
We serve a God who delights to use the unexpected.
And the end result of Ehud’s unexpected victory will be...
6) An Unexpected REST (30)
6) An Unexpected REST (30)
Judges 3:30—So Moab was subdued that day under the hand of Israel. And the land had rest for eighty years.
Once again, notice that it’s the land getting rest, not the people. That’s not what’s unexpected here.
What is unexpected is the length of that rest.
Last week we saw the land get 40 years of rest under the leadership of Othniel.
But here, under the leadership of an unclean, disabled, unwanted, loner leader the land enjoys a rest that’s twice as long.
In fact, this is the longest period of rest in the entire book of Judges!
God delights to use the unexpected.
But at the end of the day, that rest would not last.
God’s people would endure...
7) An Unexpected RELAPSE
7) An Unexpected RELAPSE
Despite the amazing victory Ehud won for God’s people, Ehud would eventually die and another rescuer would need to take his place.
Judges 3:31—After him was Shamgar the son of Anath, who killed 600 of the Philistines with an oxgoad, and he also saved Israel.
I think we’re meant to understand the story of Shamgar in light of the story of Ehud, because we don’t read about Ehud’s death until Judges 4:1.
So what should we learn from Shamgar?
On the one hand, Ehud and Shamgar are vastly different.
While Ehud was a planner and a trickster, Shamgar seems to be a bit more impulsive. He’s using an oxgoad—a farmer’s tool—as a weapon.
Ehud won by stealth, Shamgar won by strength.
But in two very important ways, Ehud and Shamgar are very similar.
First, both men were unexpected rescuers.
Most scholars believe Shamgar wasn’t even an Israelite.
The name Shamgar is of Canaanite origin.
And he’s called the son of Anath, which was the name for a Canaanite goddess. [14]
If that’s true, than God is using a Canaanite to defeat the Canaanites.
Once again, God delights to use the unexpected.
But second, and most importantly, both men were inadequate rescuers.
Both Ehud and Shamgar won major victories for the people of God.
Both men defeated great enemies.
Both men were used by God.
But neither man could lift a finger against the central villain in the book of Judges.
Neither man could change the hearts of God’s people.
To do that, God would have to send another unexpected rescuer.
1000 years after Eglon’s last movement, another king would be born.
But just like Ehud was an unexpected rescuer, this king would be unexpected too.
Sure, the prophets had predicted His coming. But few were ready for it. And most rejected Him.
But like Ehud, Jesus went face-to-face with a massive villain.
Like Ehud, Jesus defeated that villain in an unexpected way.
Much like with Shamgar, where God used a Canaanite to defeat the Canaanites, through Jesus God would use death to defeat death.
And like Ehud, Jesus would be covered in filth before he emerged victorious.
And just like Ehud, Jesus would defeat a massive enemy, then call upon God’s people to join him in spreading that victory.
But unlike Ehud and Shamgar and every other judge, the victory that Jesus wins will last forever.
Dear friend: have you put your faith in the true and better Ehud?
Jesus welcomes you to trust in Him today.
Trust that God sent His Son in an unexpected way to rescue an undeserving people.
Trust that Jesus really lived a sinless life and died a sinner’s death so that whoever believes in Him can have eternal life.
If you have, you are called to spread the victory that Jesus has already won.
Jesus says to you, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” And “even the gates of hell will not prevail against my church.”
Dear friends, I wonder if you’ve ever been guilty of looking at the God of the Bible the way Lucy looked at Linus.
I wonder if you cringe at all its strange stories.
I wonder if you ever find yourself looking down in judgment on God’s rules and ways.
I wonder if you’re ever tempted to say to Jesus, “You’ve got jelly on your hands!!!”
I suppose if you did, He might look back at you and smile and say, “No beloved. Just scars.”
Prayer of Thanksgiving
The Old Rugged Cross
Benediction (Rom 8:38-39 (p 159))