How to Lead a Happier and More Satisfying life
Notes
Transcript
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If we were to go down memory lane, some of the most listened to songs are about feelings… and many are about feeling sad or depressed.
Hooked on a feeling, You’ve lost that loving feeling, Peaceful Easy feeling,
Then there is one from my high school days… Baby Baby don’t get hooked on me… Never date a girl that loves that song…
Today we will learn how to deal with a very serious and often devastating emotions of all - depression.
Winston Church Hill called it the Black Dog.
Story of feeling depressed.
In Feb 2018, NYT ran an article about a psychology course being offered at Yale University. The course had become the most popular course they ever offered. Nearly 1/4 of the students enrolled in it. The name of the class was, How to Lead a happier and more satisfying life.
That shouldn’t be surprising since in 2013 Yale found that more than 50% of their undergraduate students sought out mental health care during their time at Yale.
God’s word has a lot to say about our feelings. One of the things I love about God’s word is that the Lord will paint portraits of Biblical characters. You see their strengths and weaknesses … all un-filtered.
If God had a Depressed Hall of Fame, Elijah would be elected in on the first ballot.
He was full of God’s power… he was the first person to raise a person from the dead… and his ministry is legendary. When you think of powerful prophets, you think of Elijah. But as you will see as we look at his story he became so depressed that he became suicidal. The amazing thing is that he had absolutely no reason to be depressed.
Before he became depressed, he was on top. He was a prophet of God and had just won the greatest single-handed victory of all battles … ever. He had just defeated and killed 450 prophets of Baal. He defeated them in a spiritual contest and then killed them all.
He was tight with God. He was God’s man. He had predicted a nationwide famine that occured and lasted for 3 years and then it was His prayers that caused God to make it rain again.
But Elijah still became depressed. Why? Because he was facing something that can make any and every man feel fear… the wrath of an angry woman.
Ahab was the wicked king of Israel and his wife was the most evil person you can imagine. You don’t see a lot of people being named Jezebel these days. When she received word of what Elijah had done to her prophets, and that he was trying to turn the nation back to God, she blew up and sent him this message.
1 When Ahab got home, he told Jezebel everything Elijah had done, including the way he had killed all the prophets of Baal. 2 So Jezebel sent this message to Elijah: “May the gods strike me and even kill me if by this time tomorrow I have not killed you just as you killed them.”
IOW, Jezebel put a contract out for Elijah. In a moment, he went from being happy to being depressed. But as depressed as he became, he found a way out of depression. Elijah found a bridge over troubled waters that is sill available to us today.
Here are a few steps that we can take to apply the remedy of your depression.
First, let me do a disclaimer. None of this message is making light of anything that you are going through. For some, there is a medical and physical cause of your depression and you need to seek out professional help. Do not be embarrassed about this. You go to a professional for diabetes, or HBP, don’t worry about going to get help for depression.
Some of you are pretty happy go lucky. Nothing seems to bother you.
A church had a guest speaker that morning. He was one of those spewing, snorting, spitting, stomping kind of screaming preachers. He was tearing into them, letting them have it. He would grimace and flinch when he would talk. He got on a terror and said, “It won’t be long until everyone around here is going to be dead.” People were backing up. Except this one old boy in the back row that started laughing out loud. The speaker wound up even more. He said, “I said it won’t be long until everybody around here is going to be dead.” People are falling down behind the pew except the one old boy. He’s laughing even more. The preacher said, “Didn’t you understand what I said? Everybody around here is going to be dead.” The old boy stood up and said, “Ain’t from around here!” Roll with the punches
This message will help both of you.
So let’s look at the steps we can take as we find our way out of depression.
1. Admit the reality of your depression.
1. Admit the reality of your depression.
Now there is a difference between being sad and being depressed. Being sad is something we will all experience. It’s natural to have up days and down days. Sadness doesn’t usually last too long and you are still able to lead a normal life.
Depression sticks with you like super glue. Somebody once said,
Sadness is like a sprinter who eventually stops to rest. Depression is an endurance runner that just keeps going.
Sadness is like a sprinter who eventually stops to rest. Depression is an endurance runner that just keeps going.
When sadness becomes quicksand you can’t get out of and blinds you from seeing the sunshine on it’s brightest day, it has become depression.
Depression Statistics
Depression Statistics
Depression is the leading cause of disability in the United States in people ages 15-44.
Depression is the leading cause of disability in the United States in people ages 15-44.
Depression ranks among the top 3 work place issues in the United States along with family crisis and stress.
Depression ranks among the top 3 work place issues in the United States along with family crisis and stress.
264 million people around the world live with depression.
264 million people around the world live with depression.
As you can see, depression is huge in American culture. It’s been called the common cold of mental illness.
Four Stages of Depression
Four Stages of Depression
1. Dejection
1. Dejection
Dejection is a temporary feeling of sadness.
2. Discouragement
2. Discouragement
Discouragement is a temporary feeling of hopelessness.
3. Despondency
3. Despondency
Despondency is an intense feeling of sadness that can last for weeks or months and affects eating and sleeping patterns.
4. Despair
4. Despair
Despair is a dangerous stage of emotional instability that can lead to thoughts of and possible attempts at suicide.
If you are at any of these four stages, especially the last one, start by admitting it to someone. Do not hold it in… talk to someone.
Unfortunately Elijah held it in.
4 Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”
Elijah was at least honest enough to let the Lord and anyone who could hear him know that he was depressed. Listen, There is no shame in admitting it. Good people, godly people and great people get depressed. Kings, prophets, CEO’s, athletes, and even pastors become depressed.
“Abraham Lincoln was so depressed that he said, I am now the most miserable man living. if what I feel was spread to the whole human family, there would be not be one cheerful face on the earth. To remain as I am is impossible; I must get better or die.”
“Abraham Lincoln was so depressed that he said, I am now the most miserable man living. if what I feel was spread to the whole human family, there would be not be one cheerful face on the earth. To remain as I am is impossible; I must get better or die.”
Be courageous enough to reach out and admit it to someone. Admit the reality of your depression.
2. Assess the reason for your depression.
2. Assess the reason for your depression.
It may not be possible to single out one reason, but sometimes it is and it’s really obvious. If you are depressed, you need to stop and consider your situation.
Just like with Elijah, depression doesn’t just attack you when life is going poorly. It will attack you when things are going great. Elijah had just come off of a huge victory where he went head to head with 450 prophets of Baal and defeated them and destroyed their false ministry. He went from the highest high to the lowest low in a minute.
Dr Archibald Hart calls this the post adrenaline depression.
After the joys of childbirth, many women struggle with postpartum depression.
An under dog team defeats the #1 team and then gets drilled the next game. There is always a let down.
Pastors face this too. It’s why we always tell each other not to quit on Mondays.
Christmas is my favorite time of the year. The week after is my least favorite.
Listen, if you are depressed, you will be tempted to isolate… don’t. That’s the worst thing you can do. Elijah made that horrible choice. He totally isolated himself and got away from anybody who could help him.
When you are depressed, you will be tempted to withdraw and wallow in your self pity. People rarely ever commit suicide in front of anyone else. They do it alone.
Here are
Three triggers for depression.
Three triggers for depression.
1. There arePhysical Triggers to depression
1. There arePhysical Triggers to depression
Fatigue can trigger depression.
Fatigue can trigger depression.
Elijah had basically run 12 marathons. He ran the full length of Israel down to Beersheba at the border of Israel. It was about 300 miles.
I used to run a lot. Before I moved down to LA, some friends of mine and I were training to get ready to maybe run a marathon, or at least go 27 miles. But there is something that happens around mile 18… it’s called hitting the wall. It’s when fatigue hits you like a wall falling on you and it’s everything you can do to put one foot in front of the other.
Elijah had just run 300 miles. He was drained emotionally and physically.
Hunger can trigger depression.
Hunger can trigger depression.
He had also been fasting for a long time and his strength was gone. He was hungry, thirsty and physically exhausted.
If you are a workaholic, always working late and eating junk food all day, you are at risk.
If you are a stay at home parent caring for a crying child or children all day, you are at risk.
Chemical Imbalances can also trigger depression.
Chemical Imbalances can also trigger depression.
The brain has neurotransmitters that when they are healthy and working right, you are too. When those transmitters are not working right, you are not right and you will feel depressed. This is why some, not all, but some people need medication for depression to help regulate the chemical transmitters.
2. There are Emotional Triggers to depression.
2. There are Emotional Triggers to depression.
Sometime depression is triggered by something emotional. Some people experience what a pastor once called, 4-D Depression caused by death, disease, divorce, or disaster.
The 4 - D’s of Depression: death, disease, divorce, disaster.
The 4 - D’s of Depression: death, disease, divorce, disaster.
Most people who suffer with depression are suffering from one of these four. The death of a loved one, a life threatening or chronic disease, a divorce in a marriage or something like Katrina can easily cause people to slip into depression.
Constant problems can trigger depression.
Constant problems can trigger depression.
Elijah experienced a series of problems. He stood in front of world leaders and told them that they were wicked. He faced a drought. He faced 450 prophets of Baal on a mountain. He had to outrun Ahab who was in a chariot and when he arrived he found out that the Queen had put a bounty on his head. He has to be thinking… what’s next?
Maybe you have been there too. Maybe in your marriage… your finances… your health… and you wonder how you can go on.
3. There are Spiritual Triggers to depression.
3. There are Spiritual Triggers to depression.
Never discount the importance of keeping yourself spiritually strong and close to the Lord. Depression can be spiritually triggered.
Sin can cause us to feel depressed.
Sin can cause us to feel depressed.
If you are living in un-confessed, un-repented sin, then divinely sent depression is probably knocking at your door. Now, God doesn’t want you to be depressed, but living in un-confessed and/or un-repented sin can often cause you to experience depression.
When David sinned he felt depressed. Here is what he said in Psa 32:3-4
3 When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. 4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude
The devil can cause us to feel depressed.
The devil can cause us to feel depressed.
The devil hates you. He is the ultimate joy killer. Jesus said in John 10:10
10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
Bitterness can cause us to feel depressed.
Bitterness can cause us to feel depressed.
Psychologists say that the number 1 cause of depression is repressed anger or bitterness. When people become bitter at others or even God, and then internalize it, they become bitter and that turns into depression.
Maybe you can’t really pinpoint the cause or trigger of your depression, don’t let that depress you. You can work toward a possible cure even if you don’t know the cause.
3. Apply the remedy for your depression.
3. Apply the remedy for your depression.
There’s nothing wrong with being depressed, but you should always be trying to stay away from being depressed.
It looks to me like everyone in the Bible who was depressed, found their way out of it. They were depressed but were able to overcome it. You may still need professional help, and you may need to see a physician if you have a medical issue, but you can take these thee steps I am about to give you and deal with your depression.
3 Steps to Lead a Happier and More Satisfying Life
3 Steps to Lead a Happier and More Satisfying Life
1. You need to Physically recharge yourself.
1. You need to Physically recharge yourself.
Notice what Elijah did next.
5 Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, “Get up and eat!” 6 He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water! So he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 Then the angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said, “Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank, and the food gave him enough strength to travel forty days and forty nights to Mount Sinai, the mountain of God.
Elijah did some things that immediately helped his mood. First he took a nap, so some much needed sleep and much needed rest. Then he ate and got some much needed nourishment. How many of you now the term “Hangry?”
When you are depressed, do you find it hard to sleep and eat? If you let that happen, it will make matters worse. You need the sleep and nourishment.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is to take a break. Eat a meal and grt some sleep. never underestimate the benefits of some goos rest and nourishment.
2. You need toSpiritually refresh yourself.
2. You need toSpiritually refresh yourself.
When you feel depressed, you will be tempted to obsess over your problems. That was one of the biggest mistakes Elijah made. He looked around at his problems instead of looking at God. He finally was so overwhelmed that he said, 1 Ki 19:4
4 Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”
He was done. He had completely lost sight of God and who he was with God. He was having a party that we do not need to ever have. He was having a pity party.
God doesn’t do pity parties.
God doesn’t do pity parties.
He will have compassion on you, but he will not enter into your pity party. Who told Elijah he was no better than his dead ancestors? It wasn’t God. Who told him he had to be better than his ancestors? It wasn’t God.
Then God stepped in and changed his whole focus. Look at what God did.
11 “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.
When Elijah stopped looking at his problems and started looking to the Lord, he quit thinking about himself and started thinking about God and everything changed.
What specifically did Elijah do? He listened for God to speak.
What specifically did Elijah do? He listened for God to speak.
If God has your ear, he will speak to you. If God has your heart, he will minister to you. Listen to me. If you are depressed, you can’t do anything more beneficial than to get into God’s Word and listen for his voice.
When your eardrum detect vibrations caused by sound waves, we hear. The intensity of those waves is called decibels. Thunder is about 120 decibels. Jet engines are 150 decibels. Anything above 150 decibels can cause people physical distress including shortness of breath, nausea, hearing loss nosebleeds, and persistent tinnitus. You can actually be killed by sound waves over 200 decibels.
On the other end of the spectrum is 20 decibels. Do you know what is 20 decibels? A whisper. God speaks in whispers when you are in his word.
Have you ever wondered why God speaks in whispers? Because you have to get close to someone. You have to lean in and put your ear next to their mouth. So if you lean into God so that you can hear his whispers, that’s what he wants and there is nothing as refreshing as hearing God’s word.
We need to repent from any unconfessed sin in our lives.
We need to repent from any unconfessed sin in our lives.
9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude
When the shame of sin is gone, we experience joy and then depression will often leave.
We need to spend time in God’s Word
We need to spend time in God’s Word
9 How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word. 10 I have tried hard to find you— don’t let me wander from your commands. 11 I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. 12 I praise you, O Lord; teach me your decrees. 13 I have recited aloud all the regulations you have given us. 14 I have rejoiced in your laws as much as in riches. 15 I will study your commandments and reflect on your ways. 16 I will delight in your decrees and not forget your word.
When you spend time in God’s Word, it will bring joy to your heart.
8 The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living.
Physically recharge yourself and Spiritually Refresh yourself… next.
3. You need to Reengage socially.
3. You need to Reengage socially.
Notice what God, the best psychologist ever said to Elijah in 1 Ki 19:15-16
15 Then the Lord told him, “Go back the same way you came, and travel to the wilderness of Damascus. When you arrive there, anoint Hazael to be king of Aram. 16 Then anoint Jehu grandson of Nimshi to be king of Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from the town of Abel-meholah to replace you as my prophet.
Isolation is like a shovel that digs a deeper hole into depression. God told Elijah to get out of his pity party, out of his isolation and go minister to other people.
Someone asked Dr Karl Menninger what his best advice for someone going through mental distress was. He said
Lock up your house… find someone in need and do something for them.
Lock up your house… find someone in need and do something for them.
Readers Digest article Feb 2010
When we are connected to others, we feel most happy
When we are connected to others, we feel most happy
Commitment - people who commit to a relationship are happier than those who don’t.
Little Things - Look for a steady stream of little things that make you happy, stop waiting for something big.
Go to Church - People who go to church regularly are happier than those that don’t. You build community, friendships… It’s knowing someone will bring you soup if you are sick.
Invest in Experiences - go on a family vacation instead of buying a new car.
All these things will bring you happiness.
Jesus Christ understands what it’s like to go through the darkest depths of the soul. But at the bottom of his own valley, he climbed up a hill and died on a cross. Then God raised him from the dead at the resurrection.
If God can raise Jesus from the dead, he can raise you from the deep. If Jesus can turn water into wine, he can turn your depression into joy.
Jesus is the bridge over troubled waters. It all starts with a relationship with Jesus as your personal Savior.
Salvation
If you feel far from Jesus today…
If you struggle with depression…
Maybe you know Jesus, but you are physically tired, or spiritually cold, and you are isolating… Turn from that today.
Physically Recharge
Spiritually Refresh
Socially Reengage