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understanding your Kid

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Our kids #3

Understanding our Kids

11-Apr-07

Research:

Struggle.

Ex. 2:13

 

Col. 1;29

 

Heb. 12.4

 

8368 רָצַץ (rā∙ṣǎṣ): v.; ≡ Str 7533; TWOT 2212—1. LN 22.21-22.28 (qal) oppress, i.e., cause the trouble, hardship, and harassment of an opponent or enemy, as a figurative extension of hitting an object with physical impact (1Sa 12:3, 4; Am 4:1+); (qal pass.) oppress (Dt 28:33; Isa 58:6; Hos 5:11+); (nif) oppressed, feel discouragement of oppression (Isa 42:4 cj+), see also domain LN 25.288–25.296; (piel) oppress (2Ch 16:10; Job 20:19+); (polel) oppress (Jdg 10:8+); 2. LN 19.1-19.13 (qal) break, smash, i.e., make physical impact on an object by hitting or striking, with the result being a shattering or splintering of a relatively brittle object into pieces or strips (2Ki 23:12; Ecc 12:6a+); (qal pass.) be smashed, broken, splintered (2Ki 18:21; Isa 36:6; 42:3+); (nif) broken, be splintered (Ecc 12:6b; Eze 29:7+); (piel) crack open, crush (Ps 74:14+); (hif) crack open, crush to pieces (Jdg 9:53+), note: see also domain LN 19.34–19.42; 3. LN 50 (hitpolel) struggle together, jostle each other, i.e., have a physical contest to gain a superior position over an opponent, as in a wrestling match (Ge 25:22+), note: some parse Isa 42:4 and 2Ki 23:12 as 8132

[1]



They establish its mood right away as one of family conflict and intrigue. We are given no more than an outline sketch of events, but how penetrating it is in the implicit judgments it passes on the human beings involved! It is scarcely less so in its assessment of the strange and seemingly cruel will of God which it sees operating in the background.

[2]

But the seeds are there of the classic clash of many of the world’s great stories, that between the man of action and the man of thought, the practical man and the brooder, the bold and the careful, the doer and the schemer.

And when we discover that not only are the personalities of the brothers so contrary but that the devout parents are both showing partiality, we know that it is only a matter of time before this family is split wide open. A reason is given for Isaac’s favouring of Esau

[3]

pointed out that she cannot have told Isaac what God had said to her, for it is evident that he knows nothing about it, nor does he later when he calls Esau to bless him. A wife who was less than honest with her husband and a husband whose first thought was for his creature comforts. It can hardly be said to be a recipe for domestic harmony!

[4]

The verb in Jacob’s name means “to follow at the heel”, and the name is in fact a little prayer by his parents that God who had protected their boy at birth would continue to protect him throughout his life. [5]

5:23 the older shall serve the younger. This was contrary to the custom in patriarchal times when the elder son enjoyed the privileges of precedence in the household and at the father’s death received a double share of the inheritance and became the recognized head of the family (cf. Ex. 22:29; Num 8:14–17; Deut. 21:17)[6]

25:27,28 The difference between the two sons manifested itself in several areas: 1) as progenitors—Esau of Edom and Jacob of Israel; 2) in disposition—Esau a rugged, headstrong hunter preferring the outdoors and Jacob a plain, amiable man preferring the comforts of home; and 3) in parental favoritism—Esau by his father and Jacob by his mother. These were the ingredients for conflict and heartache![7]

5:31 birthright. A double portion of the inheritance (Deut. 21:17) and the right to be family chief and priest (Ex. 4:22).

25:34 despised his birthright. The final evaluation of the verbal tussle and bartering which took place between the twins, all of which was indicative of prior discussions or arguments sufficient for Jacob to conclude how little Esau valued it. He became, therefore, known as irreligious, i.e., “a profane person” (Heb. 12:16).

[8]

27:1 Isaac was old. Blind Isaac evidently thought he was near death (v. 2) and would not live much beyond his current 137 years, which was the age of Ishmael when he died (25:17). He certainly did not expect to live another 43 years as he actually did (35:28; cf. 30:24,25; 31:41; 41:46, 47; 45:6; 47:9 to calculate Isaac’s age at 137 and his twin sons’ ages at 77 years old).[9]

27:4 my soul may bless you. Ignoring the words of God to Rebekah (25:23), forgetting Esau’s bartered birthright (25:33), and overlooking Esau’s grievous marriages (26:35), Isaac was still intent on treating Esau as the eldest and granting him the blessing of birthright, and so arranged for his favorite meal before bestowing final fatherly blessing on his favorite son.

27:5 Now Rebekah was listening. Desperation to secure patriarchal blessing for Jacob bred deception and trickery, with Rebekah believing her culinary skills could make goat’s meat taste and smell like choice venison (vv. 8–10) and make Jacob seem like Esau (vv. 15–17).

[10]

A lie had to sustain a lie, and a tangled web had begun to be woven (vv. 21–24). Although Jacob received Isaac’s blessing that day, the deceit caused severe consequences: 1) he never saw his mother after that; 2) Esau wanted him dead; 3) Laban, his uncle, deceived him; 4) his family life was full of conflict; and 5) he was exiled for years from his family. By the promise of God he would have received the birthright (25:23). He didn’t need to scheme this deception with his mother.[11]

Dim eyes

3543 כָּהָה, כָּהָה [kahah /kaw·haw/] v. A primitive root; TWOT 957; GK 3908 and 3909; Eight occurrences; AV translates as “dim” three times, “fail” once, “faint” once, “darkened” once, “utterly” once, and “restrained” once. 1 to grow weak, grow dim, grow faint, falter, be weak, be dim, be darkened, be restrained, be faint, fail. 1a (Qal) to grow dim, grow faint. 1b (Piel) to faint, grow weak, grow faint.

[12]

Gen. 27:1 When Isaac was old and zhis eyes were dim so that he could not see, he called Esau his older son and said to him, “My son”; and he answered, “Here I am.[13]



 

Understanding:
Our first objective in giving vision to our child… is first understanding what is going on within them..

We need to care enough to at least get to know the nature of the Sturggle.

We need to  discern the inner world of our child’s motivation and situation..

Introduction:
 

Question:
 In Gen. 25:21  We are given the prilivge in the scripture to walk unannounced through the front door of the tent of a struggling family..

When I mean struggle.. I mean stuggle..
This gal and guy in the bible.. had a real battle with dealing with their kids from the get go… ready even before the get go…

Gen. 25: 21 And Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she was barren. And ithe Lord granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived. 22 The children struggled together within her, and she said, “If it is thus, why is this happening to me?” 2 So she went jto inquire of the Lord.

Even though we are talking 2500 years ago? The points of confusion and disconnect for this dad and mom in Gen.. are clearly the sames points of frustion and confusion for the family in Comtemnay 21st centery  Amercan...
Theis.. There is question that Your kids and the Little people that you influence around you mean so much to you… Your days are spent transporting them from pratace to event.. your pocket book is empied for them from…Your mind is filled with dreams and hopes for them,, You work hard to provide for them…..If the Kids in your world mean so much to you……..
I Believe we would be well served to take a close investiavge look at this family in the bible and examine the Word of God to help us “Understand our Kids”.



 

To understand you Kid,
be informed concerning their:
1. Birth order.
Gen. 25: 24 When her days to give birth were completed, behold, there were twins in her womb. 25 The first came out………………………….

26 Afterward his brother came out……..

I will be the first one to admit that each child is a gifted unique   indivalal.. that God has created in unique, way. For distinctive purposes with exclusive personaliy triat.. You children are not cookies cut by a common cooky cutter just like every other kid.. I believe with you that every child that is given to us from heaven is just as unique as each snowflake that floats from the heaven….

Here each child is distinctive and uncommon, and unique… However, in our efforts to understand what is going on ..in the inside of our child we do our family a disservice we we do not careful consider… How the order of one birth. Contibures to the stuggle in a childs life…

When I say… stuggle please do not interpret that to be all bad…
Most stuggle is good… stuggle deveoples you..builds you.. strengths..

Birth order may be no factor at all in your home.. ..
but it sure was in Iassc Rebbcas tent.

Have you ever seen the sport kick boxing…it got it start in Rebbca wounb with twins fighting over who would be the first born..

26 Afterward his brother came out with ohis hand holding Esau’s heel, [14]

The verb in Jacob’s name means “to follow at the heel”, and the name is in fact a little prayer by his parents that God who had protected their boy at birth would continue to protect him throughout his life

You may discount it in your family but is Iaccas and rebbica.. birth order was an issure that followed these two brothers for life and into the pages of history..
Birthorder in that day ment………

5:23 the older shall serve the younger. This was contrary to the custom in patriarchal times when the elder son enjoyed the privileges of precedence in the household and at the father’s death received a double share of the inheritance and became the recognized head of the family (cf. Ex. 22:29; Num 8:14–17; Deut. 21:17)[15]

Birthright — (1.) This word denotes the special privileges and advantages belonging to the first-born son among the Jews. He became the priest of the family. Thus Reuben was the first-born of the patriarchs, and so the priesthood of the tribes belonged to him.

(2.) The first-born son had allotted to him also a double portion of the paternal inheritance (Deut. 21:15–17).

(3.) The first-born inherited the judicial authority of his father, whatever it might be (2 Chr. 21:3).

(4.) The Jews attached a sacred importance to the rank of “first-born” and “first-begotten” as applied to the Messiah (Rom. 8:29; Col. 1:18; Heb. 1:4–6). As first-born he has an inheritance superior to his brethren, and is the alone true priest.

Can you image how many time essaw and jabob as brother meet someone and .. the first and the person would say… oh you are twins.. and essaw would bult out. Ya but I am older by 2 miniture and 51 seconds…

Gen. 25: 23 And the Lord said to her,

                     Two nations are in your womb,

                    and two peoples from within you3 shall be divided;

                         the one shall be stronger than the other,

               m     the older shall serve the younger.”

This birth order was twisted in their family… by proghcy..
it may be twisted in your family.. for variso reasons… but let look at what the expects is the general… impact of the birth order of your children.

Dr. Kevin Leman “

States what for variables that make these general profiles inconsist

Such as spacing of your children (more then one first born)  , sex .. first born male or female,  sibling deaths, adoptions,  birth order of parents effects the way your run your ship at home.. and of course blending of families…multible births.

Generaliy they are highly motiviated to achive. Marcho men in Hollywood, Harrision ford, clint eastwood sean connery, Sylvestor Stallone.

Holly wood..warm fuzzy, comdy. Goldie hawn, Eddie Murphy, cheyy chase,  Jim Car

  1. First born- 56% of all U.S. Presidents were first born.  Only three have been true babies of their family.

What makes first born tick.. every thing about first born is important….
baby showers… paint the nursey. Pick out baby bed. Every move Is on video.. almost first step. Every thing they do is a big deal.. therethere they live in a big deal world.

All that ooping and ahing produces pressure..

They hear… You’re the oldest you should know better.

Why did not you keep him from…

Act your age.

What kind of example are you…

Frist born.. get experienced on with disiple… does the belt or wooden spoon work best..

Perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, list maker, well organized, hard driving, natural leader, critical, serious. Logical, doesn’t like surpires.

Expected to be pace setters. Standard bearers.

Yes they are leaders…  but… may undermine the intiative of those who lean on them to much.  Aggressive. Command respect. Can run roughshod over others and be selfish.. more focoused on the goal instead of the feelings of others…

Perfectionism… interward..
1. Its all or nothing.

2. bites off more than they can crew.. How did I get my self in this mess.

3. I could have done better.

4. There never is enough time.

5. I must try harder….

Abrahm lincon.. after the Gettys bury address… It was a flat failure.. Lenoardo  da Vinci  “I have offended God and man kind. Because my work did not reach the quialtiy it should have…”

2. Middle child.

Play off the first born.. one way or another either to out shine them or go a diffent directin. More iffy than others… but consist is this area. Rodey Dangerfied its.. “I don get any respect… born to late or to soon.. older sister got all the glory.. and little sister got all the attention.. “

They way we introduce our child.. this is Bob my older son.. this is billy our baby.. and this is ed.. (just ed nothing added.. because if you know the olderst and the youngest you can deduct the middle.. no respect)

Middle kids are great with fieinds because the can freely contect with  children older and younger them themselves.. friends make up for being the fifth wheel around the house…

With frends you do not have to take a back seat to any one….


Mediator, compromising, diplomatic, avoids conflict,  mentaliy tought and indepentant, loyal to peers, many friends,  maverick,  want to fit in, secretive, unspoiled. May leave home the earlisy.

Most faitful in marrage.. they want their own family to work.

Do not have as many hang ups or problems.. they are always dealing …

  1. Baby of the family.

Live in the lime light..often .. affectionat and uncomplicated. and at times absent minded..  they are most prone to show up at school or church unzipped or unbuttoned… clown 
Manipulative, charming, attention seeker, people person, natural sales person loves surprise, blames others. Spoiled,  impetuous implusive, reckless. Spontaneous.

What ever the bady does .. it does it the camra time as the first.. while the fist born learning to tie their shoes gets vido taped and sent to grandma.. the baby does it an it is not only goes unnotices.. sometimes the baby hears.. I can belive you just know doing that big bother did that when he was a year younger than you… Baby has to do some to get attention… “I ‘ll show them”

Either by charming the world.. or by making a mess..

Babies.. can be coddle and hugged one mintgure and made fun of the next.. up and down of life. Egos talk a lot..maybe doe not come thogough as they need to.

 ey. Aways had an aduince.. ( I perromed for quest evangelist)

4. Only born. 
Little adult by seven,  very thorough, deliberate, high achiever, self-motivated, fearful, voracious reader: black and white thinker, can’t bear to fail, more comfrothable with people who are older,

Never have to compete for attention.. never had to share, clothes or a bed.

Confident, on top of things and artuilate.. problem comes when for a childhood you never have to share anything you can become self centered by default.

May paraents could’not have other children..

What do we do.. with these Kids.
1.first born..  and only born.

understanding that slobs and poor stuendes many times are perfectionist who have just given up on them sleves..
Let first borns in our your imperfections..

  1. Watch the should haves  they are already there.
  2. whatch the improve everything.
  3. They want to know the rules.. give it to them
  4. give speacil prilives beccase of spherical responabilies.
  5. two on one time. Oderst respone to adults.
  6. do not degrade into instant baby setter.
  7. share responcbilee with younger children do not pile on.
  8. first born are over sensitive to correction..without giving them time to fix it.

  1. Middle born.
     1. need extra time sharing how they feel about things.

         Least likely to demand their fair share.. make sure they get it.

        2. exta care needed to make them feel special.

        3. Create middle childs exclusive terrrioty. T.V. time, activity , time of week for getting something to eat.

        4. give an occal new garment of clothing instead of the constant hand me down.

        5. Help them know it is alright to deal with facts instead of just avoiding conflict all the time.

        6. Make a lot of pictures of the middle child.. Pictures of them alone.

  1. Baby
    1. Give the baby their fair share of responsible.

They are masters of ducking out of work, they are not little and helpless

 2. Do not allow them to get away with murder.

 3. Give them refreradere space.. with magnet.. babes have a feeling, nothing is a big deal when it is my turn.. Make some big deasl.

4. Don’t do all their homework for them.

5. Give them the right amout of pressure.

6. try to get their baby book finished by the time they are 21.

7. Pray they will marry a first born. So the family can be both happy and organized.


To understand you Kid:
be informed concerning their.
2. Father gifting.
Gen. 25: 24 When her days to give birth were completed, behold, there were twins in her womb. 25 The first came out red, nall his body like a hairy cloak, so they called his name Esau. 26 Afterward his brother came out with ohis hand holding Esau’s heel, so phis name was called Jacob.4 Isaac was sixty years old when she bore them.

27 When the boys grew up, Esau was qa skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, rdwelling in tents. 28 Isaac loved Esau because she ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

How your child was wired by God…

27 When the boys grew up, Esau was qa skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, rdwelling in tents. 28 Isaac loved Esau because she ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob


q ch. 27:3, 5
r
Heb. 11:9
s
ch. 27:4, 7, 9

   Jeremiah 4:4 Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying,

  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

          and before you were born jI consecrated you;

          I appointed you a prophet kto the nations.”

[16]

Our role as with little one is to walk in deserment of our our childs wriing and gifting..


To understand you Kid,
be informed concerning their:
3. Culture.
 Gen. 27:46 Then Rebekah said to Isaac, e “I loathe my life because of the Hittite women.4 fIf Jacob marries one of the Hittite women like these, one of the women of the land, what good will my life be to me?”

Gen. 26: 34 When Esau was forty years old, he took xJudith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite to be his wife, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite, 35 and ythey made life bitter2 for Isaac and Rebekah.

28:1 Then Isaac called Jacob gand blessed him and directed him, f “You must not take a wife from the Canaanite women. 2 hArise, go to Paddan-aram to the house of iBethuel your mother’s father.

“Reality is not what it used to be”.

“Whatever” is the key to the culure mindset”

World view like a baseball umpire.
one umpire states there is balls and strikes and

  1. I call them like they are. modern
  2. I call them like I see them. Post moder
  3. they ant nothing until I see them. Radical Post modern.

 The bible says that Iassic was

Gen. 25:26 Isaac was sixty years old when she bore them…

If you are marry and age…. you will soon be a widow.

Times change culture change.

Modern vs. Post modern thinking.

You kid may not be a post modern thinker but it is the culuter they are growing up in..

It has to effect the way we have church and desern the times..

What is the dish our kids are living in.. what is the culture they are in..
we see the vidos.. but what is causeing the musis the art the thought.

Dave Cook states.
 “Postmodernism moves beyond the modern, scientifically based view of the world by blending a skepticism about technology, objectivity, absolutes and total explanations with a stress on image and appearance, personal interpretation, pleasure and exploration of every spiritual and material perspective.”

Modern thinking vs.. Post-Modern thinking.

Modern think would be one who was cultivated in a world.
that belives.

  1. true knowledge, corresponds to reality, and it exist as a certainty.
  2. The world is a place of casue and effect, the it can be greatly understood by  empirical evidence.
  3. Knowledge  was good dealing with the facts. Which are neutral
  4. Progress meaning technology was viewed as good and would lead to a better world.
  5. Humanity was basically good.
  6. Indivdual were free and indepent of society.

The goal of modern thinker was to unlock the secrets of the universe. The post modern thinker says what the use.

Post modern thinker.
1. they reject objective truth. (1994 62% of born again Christians did not believe in absolute truth)

2. they are suspicious of authority.

3. they are like missing persons in search of their identiy.

4. they blurred right and wrong into whatever is expedient.

5. They continue to search for the transcendent.

6. They live in a media world like no other.

7. They engage in the knowing smirk.

8. They live in a material world.

Culture facts.
great taboo on tevevsion is not sexualliy but spirituality

Modernity.                                                            Post modernity

Romantic view of life                                           absurd view of life.
purpose                                                                  play

Design                                                                   chance

Hierarchy                                                              anarchy

Word                                                                     silence

A completed work                                                            process

Analysis from a distance                                       analysis through participation

Post modernism would argue that you can’t  divorce yourself from the interpretative process of knowing: Therefore, your own perceptions, understandings bias, presuppositions will always taint your conclusions of what is true.

Famil

Video played..

Message to Post modern.:

Have you notice how many time and new weeks have religions covers on them now.???

Because faith sells… people want to know… “might as well turn news week into christiainty today”

The danger is not that people are will be rejecting Christ, but they are reject a caricature of Christ.

We have the real. You can know who you are. You can expercne the superanatual.

“when all the questions of science are answered the problems of life still remain.”

Familiarity may not breed contempt as much as it breeds inattention.

 Gen. 26:12 And Isaac sowed in that land and reaped in the same year a hundredfold. The Lord jblessed him, 13 and the man became rich, and gained more and more until he became very wealthy. 14 He had possessions of flocks and herds and many servants, so that the Philistines kenvied him[17]

24 And the Lord appeared to him the same night and said, o “I am the God of Abraham your father. pFear not, for qI am with you and will bless you and multiply your offspring for my servant Abraham’s sake.” 25 So he rbuilt an altar there and called upon the name of the Lord and pitched his tent there. And there Isaac’s servants dug a well. [18]


----

v. verb

Str Strong’s Lexicon

TWOT Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament

LN Louw-Nida Greek-English Lexicon

qal Qal

+ More references in bhs

pass. passive

nif Niphal

cj conjecture

piel Pi˒el

hif Hiphil

[1]Swanson, J. (1997). Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains : Hebrew (Old Testament) (electronic ed.) (DBLH 8368, #3). Oak Harbor: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

[2]Gibson, J. C. (2001, c1981). Genesis : Volume 2. The Daily study Bible series (137). Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press.

[3]Gibson, J. C. (2001, c1981). Genesis : Volume 2. The Daily study Bible series (137). Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press.

[4]Gibson, J. C. (2001, c1981). Genesis : Volume 2. The Daily study Bible series (138). Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press.

[5]Gibson, J. C. (2001, c1981). Genesis : Volume 2. The Daily study Bible series (140). Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press.

[6]MacArthur, J. J. (1997, c1997). The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed.) (Ge 25:23). Nashville: Word Pub.

[7]MacArthur, J. J. (1997, c1997). The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed.) (Ge 25:27). Nashville: Word Pub.

[8]MacArthur, J. J. (1997, c1997). The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed.) (Ge 25:31). Nashville: Word Pub.

[9]MacArthur, J. J. (1997, c1997). The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed.) (Ge 27:1). Nashville: Word Pub.

[10]MacArthur, J. J. (1997, c1997). The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed.) (Ge 27:4). Nashville: Word Pub.

[11]MacArthur, J. J. (1997, c1997). The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed.) (Ge 27:20). Nashville: Word Pub.

v v: verb

TWOT Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament

GK Goodrick-Kohlenberger

AV Authorized Version

[12]Strong, J. (1996). The exhaustive concordance of the Bible : Showing every word of the test of the common English version of the canonical books, and every occurence of each word in regular order. (electronic ed.) (H3543). Ontario: Woodside Bible Fellowship.

z ch. 48:10; 1 Sam. 3:2

[13]The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Ge 27:1). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

i 2 Sam. 21:14; 24:25; 1 Chr. 5:20; 2 Chr. 33:13; Ezra 8:23

2 Or why do I live?

j [1 Sam. 9:9]

o Hos. 12:3

[14]The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Ge 25:26). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

[15]MacArthur, J. J. (1997, c1997). The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed.) (Ge 25:23). Nashville: Word Pub.

3 Or from birth

m ch. 27:29, 40; Cited Rom. 9:12

n ch. 27:11, 16, 23

o Hos. 12:3

p ch. 27:36

4 Jacob means He takes by the heel, or He cheats

q ch. 27:3, 5

r Heb. 11:9

s ch. 27:4, 7, 9

q ch. 27:3, 5

r Heb. 11:9

s ch. 27:4, 7, 9

j [John 10:36]

k [Isai. 49:6]; See ch. 25:15-29; ch. 46–51

[16]The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Je 1:4-5). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

e ch. 26:34, 35; 28:8

4 Hebrew daughters of Heth

f ch. 24:3

x [ch. 28:9; 36:2, 3]

y ch. 27:46

2 Hebrew they were bitterness of spirit

g ver. 6

f [See ch. 27:46 above]

h Hos. 12:12

i ch. 22:23

j ver. 3; ch. 24:1, 35

k [Eccles. 4:4]

[17]The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Ge 26:12-14). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

o ch. 17:7; 24:12; 28:13; Ex. 3:6

p ch. 15:1; See Ps. 27:1-3

q ch. 28:15; 31:3; [ch. 21:22, 23]

r ch. 12:7; 13:18

[18]The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Ge 26:24-25). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

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